Christmas will be here in a couple of days so today I am going to take this opportunity to complain that most restaurants will be closed on Christmas--including McDonalds, Wendys, and Burger King. All the restaurants that serve the hamburgers that this dog likes to eat will be closed!! Don't they realize that there are hungry dogs who want a hamburger on Christmas? I'm sure some of the humans are going to say, "Demon, you can get the burger on Christmas Eve, and put it in the refrigerator and eat it on Christmas". Sure, that can be done, but Christmas is supposed to be special with presents and special foods, and just how special is a burger that isn't fresh, but has been microwaved to get it warm? I know that the employees might want to be home with the family dog, but I'm sure many of them don't have a dog, and staying home would just involve them opening presents, eating, watching television, and sleeping. I don't think I need to tell you that those are all dog activities, and the humans should be up working and taking care of their dog's every wish. The only way to keep the humans truly happy is for them to be making a dog happy, and that is scientific fact--I didn't just make it up for my own selfish reasons.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants Fresh Hamburger on Christmas)