Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Tragedy at Zoo

I hope my readers had a nice weekend which was a 3 day weekend for people in the United States.  It was a sad weekend at the Cincinnati Zoo.  A human puppy managed to get into.the gorilla area, and he was killed by the humans to "save" the child.  The gorilla's name was Harambe, and he had just celebrated his 17th birthday on May 27
  He shared his home with 2 female gorillas.  He was a typical teenage gorilla. He enjoyed long walks, fine dining, and just being a gorilla.  From the video I saw, I don't think he would have harmed the child.  However, the administration at the zoo did not want to take that risk so Harambe was killed.  I'm not a judge or juror, and I know sometimes bad things happen.  However, it is not unusual for an animal to.be euthanized when the animal is just being themselves.  There have been countless pets euthanized because human children mistreated the pet. I phoned Magilla Gorilla, and this is an exact quote from him.  "How do you expect humans to live peacefully with animals when they have so much trouble living with their own species

One advantage to modern life is that the humans have the technology to film videos of events.  If only they possessed common sense to quit filming, put down the camera, and try to stop the event before it happens.

Demon Flash Bandit (Journalist)


Monday, May 30, 2016

Bacon: It is what's for dinner

My humom says that I am a good boy, and I have to.agree with her.  I am a wonderful dog. For example, yesterday I was strolling through the kitchen which my humans use for food storage and preparation.  Personally, considering houses have living rooms, bedrooms, and the highly unnecessary bathrooms, I would assume it should be called a food room.   I don't spend much time in there.  Anyway, I happened to notice that there was a package of fully cooked bacon sitting there.  I knew it was for me because the humns know I love bacon.  They order bacon and ham on pizzas for Angel and me.  I opened the food room's cabinets with my paw, and grabbed the package in my mouth.  My brother, William, took it from me because "he didn't t'hink humom bought it for me".  Humom told him to open the package and give Angel and me the bacon.  All I have to do with humom
 is give her my pathetic "doggy wants bacon look" and I get bacon.  I always try to eat all the bacon in the house. Bacon is not good for the humans, but 100% of veterinarians who are being held hostage by dogs say bacon is the perfect food for dogs.  There was one vet who disagreed, but after the dogs dug a nice big hole, that vet  is pushing up daisies.

Children:  Remember to enter my art contest.  Send a drawing of Angel, me, or both of us to my email address.  Send entry to demonflashbandit@gmail.com

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon)

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Art Contest

Today I am officially starting my art contest.  It is open to children ages 12 and under.  I need some drawings for my book.  I will give as many as 10,  $10. Gift certificates for Wal-Mart OR Amazon.  The chosen drawings may be included in my book with credit given to the artist if the book is published.  The drawing needs to be of Angel Zoom Smokey and me.  Send entries to my email at:  demonflashbandit@gmail.com. The contest will end July 17, 2016.  I hope to share some of the drawings on my blog.  I look forward to seeing all the art work.

Demon Flash Bandit

Friday, May 27, 2016

Bark at the Park at Comerica in Detroit, MI

BIG DOG NEWS:  The Detroit Tigers have announced that on June 21 at the 7:10 pm game against the Seattle Mariners it will be Bark in the Park day!  The ticket for human and dog is $40.00, and there will be a special area for us dogs.  After the game dogs will be allowed to run the bases. My human brothers have done that when they were young.  There is one rule, and that rule is that you must keep your human on a leash.  I guess humans can't be trusted to behave at the park.  Frankly, I am surprised that the humans are ever allowed into the ball park without a dog.  Humans are lost without the wise council of their dogs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Baseball Loving Dog)

Monday, May 23, 2016

Useless Birds

When I started warning humans of the plot among birds to take over the world, it never occurred to me that my stand against birds could hurt my humans.  A mama bird has built a nest in mom's hanging flower basket on the front porch
  Yesterday, she attacked my brother William when he was entering the house.  I can only assume that she thought he was sent to collect rent for the nest.  The stupid bird is free loading off my mom's generosity, and that is how the bird acts to one of  mom's babies.  Birds spend their entire life napping and yapping.  A lot of those birds are too lazy to hunt for worms.  Instead they expect humans to leave them bird seed and provide them with luxury pools called bird baths.  I am not making this us.  Stores and catalogs sell them.  Some humans (including my humans) buy fancy houses for them.  My humans feed me too, but I work for my food.  I keep the humans company and I watch for burglers and keep the squirrels in line.  Even cats are more useful than birds even though dogs are better at being pets for the humans.

I bark for dogs all over the world when I say that feeding and providing homes for birds should be illegal.  When I become president, aiding and abetting birds will be a felony. Together, dogs will get rid of birds.  You are welcome!

Demon Flash Bandit (Campaigning)

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


"Memories light the corners of my mind
Mystic water colored memories of a dog I knew.

Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
Oh, what could have been."

If only humans minded their own business
Why not leave us dogs alone?
If we had the chance to do it all again,
Would we? Could we?"

Every time I hear a dog howling this song, I think of that lovely blue eyed black and white Husky that I have met.  It was like I was looking  into a mirror.  I met her outside Petsmart in Brighton Michigan.  Her human had picked her up after her grooming.  She had a sexy pink ribbon in her fur.  I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her despite the boring odors from the bath.  I know she felt the same way about me.  I lifted my leg to pee on her, and our humans intervened and we were forced to part.
It was many years ago and I haven't seen her since.  However, whenever we go to Petsmart, I look for her.  Why do the humans interfere with our  dreams?

Demon Flash Bandit (Lost Love)

Monday, May 16, 2016

Motor City Comic-Con

I learned this morning that my pal, Whitley has crossed over the rainbow bridge.  I will miss Whitley, as will many other dogs and humans who knew her.

My nonfur brothers, William and Jeff went to the Motor City Comic-Con over the weekend. Humom stayed home with us.  I thought about going, but when a celebrity blogger like myself walks into a crowd like that, the crowd goes nuts.  I didn't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt by the mob.  Being a celebrity dog is not easy.  Perhaps I should sell some of my fur on ebay to make the mob happy.  It isn't like I don't give it generously to my humans.  Ask any human who is owned by a Siberian husky.  We give enough fur to create another husky.  We wanted to stay home with humom anyway. She didn't feel like going.  Mom did have Jeff get Lea Thompson's autograph for her.  Lea was the actress who was in Back to the Future and that terrific movie, Howard the Duck.

Burt Ward, who played Robin in the original Bat man television series was there.   I will write more about him in a future blog.  He lives a very useful life rescuing dogs.  Adam West was also there.  Jeff got his autograph, but Mom said she would not pay $80. for it.  When she used to watch the show, she preferred Robin.  Since he now helps dogs, she had impeccably good taste even as a child.

Demon Flash Bandit. (Chilling With Humom)

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Chef Demon.Flash Bandit

I am very proud of my latest accomplishment.  I will soon be receiving my Bachelor of Culinary Arts degree.  I graduated as the top dog thanks to my idea.to add bacon to everything on the menu.  Dogs know that bacon is good with every other food.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Look, but Don't Touch

According to Angel Zoom Smokey the world is engaged in a conpiracy to steal her beloved thundercoat.  I have written a blog about how Angel would not allow the humans to dress her in human type clothing.  Now she loves her thunder coat so much, she won't let the humans take it off of her.  It is falling off of her, but she refuses to.allow the humans to adjust it for her.  If anyone even touches her thunder coat, she takes off
  Angel is such a silly dog!


Saturday, May 7, 2016

Let's Boogie

How many  human puppies have had adults tell them to be good or the boogie man will get them?  The Boogie Man likes to hide and sneak away with a child.   The child is never seen again so I assume the Boogie Man eats them.  I heard a sound under humom's bed so I decided to see if the Boogie Man was hiding under her bed.  Imagine my surprise when I saw Angel Zoom Smokey boogying under the bed.  She was dancing so enthusiastically.  Imagine my surprise when the Boogie Man turned out to be a dog.  In the future, I will use the correct name:  Boogie Dog.  Children, you don't have to be afraid.  The Boogie Man isn't a monster, he is a dancing dog.

Demoln Flash Bandit (uncovering Truth About the Boogie Man)

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Party Dog

I threw a party for my dog pals, and we decided to party like humans.  I watch a lot of television so I am aware that human partying involves smoking.  Yeah, we were getting high smelling the ham and bacon smoking.  When it was thoroughly smoked, we ate it, and it was delicious.  Humans know how to party!  I plan to have another party that imcludes my blog readers.  I think we'll have a good time.  I've never had a bad time when bacon is served.  My only complaint is that there is  never enough bacon.  Am I right dogs?

Demon Flash Bandit ( Pawty Dog)