Saturday, February 28, 2015

The More Snow, the Better!

Today is the last day to enter to win a t-shirt with this image on it.  Just leave a comment, and you still have the rest of today to enter.  You could be the envy of your neighborhood wearing an Angel Zoom Smokey centerfold t-shirt.

I found an interesting item on the Internet today.  There has been so much snow in the state of Mass, that dogs have been using the snow banks to escape their yards.  Here is the link:

Just getting so much snow is delightful enough, but to get enough to actually be able to go over the fence by walking on the snow is just unbelievably wonderful.  I know the humans worry about us, and I do think it is sweet that they care so much.  I know my own humans would be very upset if Angel or I got out of the yard, but perhaps God just wanted us to have some fun.  I do hope no dogs are injured on their travels.

Demon Flash Bandit (Snow is Always Wonderful)

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Kardashians Tried to Rip Off Dogs--They are Scum!!!!!!!

I am not quite sure who the Kardashians are, and I'm not sure what they do.  My humans don't even seem to know much about them except that the Internet talks about them frequently.  I think they have a reality show which makes me wonder just how hard up the  networks must be for programming because this dog thinks they are garbage.  Why am I being so hard on them without even knowing who they are?  Because they stiffed 50 sled dogs.  Yes, you read correctly!  They booked a sled dog trip involving 50 dogs, and 5 guides, and wanted it FREE!!!! I'm glad the owner didn't allow it so they did not get the privalege of being pulled by huskies and malamutes.  They were trying to take the bones right out of the dogs' mouths.  Mommy said they should have shown up and paid for the excursion, and brought some special treats for the dogs.  Being filmed giving out extra treats would have made them look good, and the dogs would have benefited even if they are scum.  I think they should have shown up and pulled the dogs around.  That seems fitting to me because humans who don't pay dogs to do their jobs are the lowest of the low....the only ones lower are the ones who mistreat their dogs or who are involved in dog fights.  Here is the link  to the article.  Be sure and share so that all the humans can know just how horrible those Kardashians really are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Don't Stiff A Dog)

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Oscars Were a BIG Disappointment!

The Oscar ceremony has come and gone, and as usual, I did not watch.  However, when I heard the winners, I almost choked on my rawhide bone.   A movie called Birdman won.  Can you believe it?  I couldn't'.  I was unaware that a movie by that title existed.  My humans wisely kept that knowledge from me to shield me from such horror.  When I heard that Birdman won the Oscar for best picture, I was annoyed--no not just annoyed--downright MAD! No wonder Mommy won't watch the Oscars because she thinks they are stupid.  She is the only human around here with sense.  My brother, Jeff, actually bought the movie on blu-ray.  He says it is just so he can keep tabs on the birds and what they are planing.  However, I'm not so sure, he likes that Batman movie, and bats are just ugly birds!

In addition to that bad news, I saw on the Internet today that a study was done and cat owners have higher IQs than dog owners.  I think that study should be tossed out because it was obviously done by birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Annoyed at the Oscars--As Usual)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Angel Zoom Smokey is an Idiot!

For those who want to enter for a chance to win a t-shirt with Angel Zoom Smokey's photo on the centerfold of Playpuppy magazine, you still have a week to enter the contest.  My blog written Jan. 31, 2015, has the details of how to enter.  I happen to think that the best thing about this photo is the bacon which Angel did not share with me--she is such a jerk!
Speaking of Angel, she took counter surfing to a whole new level yesterday.  For those of you who aren't of the dog persuasion, counter surfing is when you see some delicious human food on the counter or table, and you put your front paws up there, and "surf" for food.  The smaller breeds can't do it, but it is something we larger breeds gain great enjoyment from doing.  My brother, William, had been eating some macaroni and cheese which is something that Angel finds to be a delicious food.  He sat the bowl down on Mommy's dresser, and Angel decided to get it for herself.  Mommy's dresser is this massive piece of wood furniture that, in addition to the mirror, and shelves and a couple of drawers sitting on top of it  leaves about 8 inches of actual dresser space.  Imagine how ridiculous a Siberian husky looks when she jumps from the bed onto the dresser and the husky's whole body manages to get onto the dresser, and she is tying to get to the other side of the dresser to score the macaroni and cheese.  Mommy was glad she did not get hurt, but I often wonder is she has any sense whatsoever.  I would have just whined until the humans gave me some.  It works every time!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Sense)

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Furnace: Even More Useless Than a Water Heater

There is still time to enter to win the Angel is a Centerfold t-shirt.  Details are in my blog, FreeT-Shirt Contest written January 31, 2015.  The contest will be over February 28, 2015.  I tried to post a photo of the image on the shirt, but I had technical difficulties, but you can see it on the above mentioned blog.

Most of the United States has been having delightful weather (at least for us Siberian Huskies).  As usual, the humans are complaining about the cold.  These are the same idiots who complain during the summer that it is too hot--which is true.  I complain about the heat too, but I do not complain about the cold.  I LOVE IT!  This brings me to my blog subject of the day:  furnace:  as useless as the water heater!  When my humans had to replace their water heater recently, I wrote a blog explaining just how utterly useless that appliance happens to be.  Recently I realized that the house is warm because of the &%#)* furnace. I hate the furnace, but I have no idea how to turn it off so I have been working on the thermostat trying to turn the air conditioner on.  It would be so nice to have it going, and it would make the house so pleasant.  I want to see the water in my water dish freeze over so I think I'm in Siberia.  Is that too much for a dog to ask?  I don't think so!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Cold Weather)

Monday, February 16, 2015

Insane People Should Not Have Guns!

I don't mean to offend anyone with this blog, but you know that when a dog sees the humans do stupid things, sometimes it  is necessary to bark about it in a blog.  Today's subject is Christopher Kyle, the man who the movie, American Sniper was based upon.  I hear the humans debating about whether or not he was a hero or a coward, and some of the celebrities who have given their opinions have been criticized by the people who don't agree with them.  I have no interest in deciding whether he was a hero or coward.  I just think he was incredibly stupid.  When a friend comes home from a war and has spent time in a psychiatric hospital, and suffers from post traumatic stress disorder, only an idiot would take him to a gun range and put a gun in his hand.  When Angel Zoom Smokey gets in one of her moods where she is growling and ready to bite me, I do not hand her extra teeth!    It is a  sad outcome that never had to happen.  Please humans, quit giving insane people guns.  Guns can be dangerous and crazy people should not have them.  How many times does a dog have to repeat this message before the humans learn?

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on Human Stupidity)

Friday, February 13, 2015

Another Dog Has Crossed Over the Bridge

Once again:  a reminder that a t-shirt with this image will be given away in my blog contest.  Details are in my blog post, Free T-Shirt Contest written on January 31,2015.  The contest ends on February 28, 2015.

Today this dog and his family sends my condolences to Kevin Smith--the writer and director of many movies.  His dog has just crossed over the rainbow bridge, and he posted a photo of him cuddling him before he passed on.  It is so sad when a dog crosses over because the humans need us so much.  I know that Kevin will be with Mulder again, but the time until then just won't be the same.  Mulder, you will be missed!

Demon Flash Bandit (Expressing Sorrow)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Dogs Know What the Core of the Earth is Made Of---BONES

Yes you can get this image on a t-shirt by entering my blog contest which ends February 28, 2015.  Details on entry are available on my blog entry, Contest for a T-Shirt written January 31, 2015.

Today one of the news articles on MSN's home page was about what is at the core of the Earth.  We dogs have known what is at the core of the Earth all along.  The core of the Earth is filled with bones!  This is why we dogs are always digging up our yards.  We are just trying to get to the tasty bones at the center of the Earth--kind of like the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.  This is probably how the Tootsie people got the idea for their tootse pops.  Many of the humans get upset that we dig up their yards, but do you know how tempting it is for a dog to know that there is a vast amount of bones underground, and you have to dig to get to them?   Is that fair to a member of the dog persuasion?  Why do you think that there were dogs in space before humans.  The dogs volunteered to go so that they could get to the moon, and sample some of its tasty cheese.  Of course, they didn't let the dogs go to the moon, but that is why they signed on for the gig.  I have no plans to go into space.  I'll just buy some cheese from the dogs who do.  I kind of like hanging out here on Earth!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Sciency Stuff)

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Humans Have So Much to Teach Their Dogs!

I'm not saying that life around here is dull; but yesterday I heard my mommy and one of my brothers discuss the proper way to put the toilet paper on the toilet paper holder.  According to them (and they were in full agreement on the subject), the paper should come from the top and not the bottom.   Since I don't hear other humans discuss such things in public, I can only assume that this is the kind of information that they don't want to share with others.  I think they are afraid they will be arrested by the Boring Police because that is how I felt about the conversation.  It does make me wonder--do companies have videos explaining to their employees about how to install the paper in the proper way in the bathroom?  My mommy once worked at a little company called McDonalds, and she said they had all sorts of videos for the employees to watch.  Of course, if McDonalds had one on that subject, the toilet paper would be called Mctoilet paper just as their laundry detergent is Mcdetergent.  I asked mommy if the videos were entertaining, and she said they could be since the employees (who incidentally were actors and not actual employees) were happy to be doing the job when most fast food workers can't wait for quiting time.  That sounds sensible to me because all my loyal readers know my attitude towards work--the humans can do it!

As you can imagine, I can't spend any more time writing this blog because I might miss some fascinating conversation among the humans here.  Perhaps  they will discuss the proper way to hang the paper towels in the kitchen.  Do they hang them the same way as the toilet paper or do they throw caution to the wind and hang them the opposite way?  I am anxious to find out!

Demon Flash Bandit (Learning Important Lessons From the Humans)

Monday, February 9, 2015

Dogs on the Catwalk

Don't forget to enter the contest for the free t-shirt with this image on it.  If you win this shirt, you will be the envy of every dog in your area!  Details for entry are in my blog entitled, "Contest to Win a T-Shirt" written January 31, 2015.

Today's blog entry is about the exciting event recently held in Detroit, MI.  Why was it held in  Detroit?  Because Detroit is known for its classiness and this was a very classy event.  It was a fashion/unfashion show for dogs.     The reason it is also an unfashion show is so that dogs like Angel Zoom Smokey and myself who don't want to wear clothing like the humans can model our fur, and make the humans jealous.  The best thing about the event was that many of my dog pals took part in the event so I got to spend some time with my friends.  

Whitley insisted on having a cat accompany her down the catwalk. How could I argue  After all, it is a "catwalk", and Whitley loves cats!  Finley did a great job and then chased an annoying squirrel after the show.  Puff couldn't make it because he is having to watch over the new puppy that recently invaded his house.  I did miss Puff, but what do you expect? He had to protect his possessions from the new interloper.  My friend, Princess Leah made it too.  She decided to model that bikini that Princess Leah (the imposter) wore in the Star Wars movie.  I might add that she looked a lot sexier than the human in the movie.  Humans just can't compete with us dogs in the looks department!   My mate Charlie from down under (Australia) was here too.  I'm not quite sure what is down under, but I'm sure the dogs there will dig enough to make it up above--which makes no sense.  However it  does not have to make sense because I'm a dog).  My pal, Mr, Jack Freckles made it here, but I would have been disappointed if he didn't make it since he also lives in Michigan like me.  I had many other friends come to the event, but I don't have time to mention all of them.  

After the modeling event, we left Cobo Hall and had a big shindig pawty.  It was the best part of the event because there were meats from all the four basic meat groups---beef, chicken, pork and bird.  Yeah, you know I would make sure birds were on the menu because they are such evil creatures!  There were milkbones, dingo bones, and regular rawhide bones.  We even had water in regular watering dishes and also in toilets for those who like to drink from porcelain.  We barked and we danced and we had a great time.  I'm hoping to continue this tradition every year since a great time was had by all--even Whitley's cat friend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Pawty Dog)

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Angel Zoom Smokey is Mad at Johnny Depp

Remember if you want a t-shirt with this image, go to my blog, "Free T-Shirt Contest" written Jan. 31, 2015 for details on how to enter for your chance to win!

Angel Zoom Smokey has been mad all week.  She is mad that Johnny Depp got married.  If you are thinking it is because she was in love with Johnny Depp, you would be wrong.  She said he is not her type.  She prefers her men to walk on 4 paws and be covered in fur.  If you are wondering why she is mad, it is because she was not invited to the wedding, and she heard that they were serving chicken and cake, and she wanted her share of both.  I have to admit that I wasnt too happy that I wasn't invited.  I was invited to that wedding shindig that the royal family had for that Prince guy and Kate Middleton.  We went even though they were serving fruit cake (a royal tradition) which explains why the royal family always look so miserable.  I would be miserable too if I had to eat fruit cake.  In fact, I have been told that fruit cake is only around to give as a Christmas gift.  There are fruit cakes being given as Christmas gifts that were originally given to the Christ child at the nativity.  You didn't think Joseph and Mary were going to eat anything so nasty, did you?  Actually, one from the nativity is on display at the Smithsonian in Washington DC in the "it really isn't food, but some humans think it is" section.  I'm still having a rough time forgiving Johnny for having that bird on his head as Tonto.  I liked the Lone Ranger movie, but I do not have any use for birds.  At least that was a dead bird.  If he had a live bird, I would have been leading a protest against the movie outside the theatre.  I do hope he is happy, but if this marriage doesn't work and he marries again, he had better include Angel Zoom Smokey at his wedding if he doesn't want to get one of her "puppy slaps of justice"!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoy Eating at Weddings)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Building a Snow Husky is Too Much Work

Again, I want to remind my readers that I am running a contest for a free t-shirt with this image on it.  It is open world wide and details about entry in the contest are in my blog entry, Contest for a Free T-Shirt written on Jan. 28, 2015.

We have been having delightful weather here.  There was about 18 inches of snow, and as a siberian husky, I think this is the type of weather that I would travel on vacation to enjoy.  Do my humans agree with me?  Of course not, those idiots would prefer some tropical place where it never gets cold.  Angel and I have barked about building a snow husky, but decided it is more fun just to play in the snow.  Building a snow husky sounds like too much work to us.  Since the snow reminds me of Christmas, I have decided to let the humans buy me gifts to celebrate the snow which I am calling snow gifts.  I hope they go along with it because a dog can always use new toys and more treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Snow)

Movie Unreview: American Sniper

Don't forget--I am giving this t-shirt away.  Contest open world wide, and details are in my blog of January 31 titled "Free T-Shirt Contest"!

I will begin this movie unreview by stating that I have not actually seen this movie nor do I have any plans to see it.  It is the story of a real sniper in Iraq named Chris Kyle.  Chris is not to be mistaken for the Kyle in South Park because Chris Kyle is a human, and Kyle from South Park is a cartoon--or as they like to be referred to-as a living impaired person. Kyle was a Navy Seal which means that his sniperdom was quite an accomplishment since he is the first seal on record to shoot a gun--or even carry a gun for that matter.  I refuse to see this movie because it is bad enough that over the centuries, humans have had horses, and dogs help them in battle and risk their lives,  I draw the line when it comes to seals.  Seals and dol[lins are such nice creatures that I think they should left alone to swim around and enjoy life.  Birds like carrier pigeons have gotten involved, but that is okay because they are birds, and birds are evil!  I'm sure some of my readers will ask why I didn't watch this movie before doing a  review on it.  If you look at the title, it is not a review, it is an unreview.  Besides, I don't tend to enjoy movies that spend most of the movie shooting at people.  I watched Snow Dogs for the 2 millionth time instead, and it was time well spent!  My movie rating:  don't bother to watch American Sniper--watch a dog movie instead,

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Pizza Bones are Delicious!

Before I begin my usual blog, I want to remind my readers about the t-shirt contest for the shirt with the magazine centerfold on it.  You can enter by leaving a comment or e-mailing me at  There are no limit to the amount of times you can enter, and the contest ends Feb. 28.  It is open world wide, and the details are on my blog, Free T-Shirt  Contest written on January 31.I

I suppose by now everyone has heard that Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, has predicted 6 more weeks of winter.  My humans aren't too pleased, but I HATE it when spring comes early.  I also checked with the Howell, MI nature center to see what Woody the groundhog had to say.  Woody was sick this year so his stand-in, Murray took over.   He also said there is going to be 6 more weeks of winter so he and Phil agree with each other on the forecast.  In honor of their terrific forecast, I promise that this dog won't be chasing any groundhogs this year.  However, I will continue to chase squirrels because that is just fun!

For those of you who didn't get to watch the sports event of the year, Ruff won over Fluff at the Puppy Bowl.  In my opinion, this is the only sporting event worth watching.  Thanks, Animal Planet for quality programming.

I have been missing out on a great food item for the past 11 years.  I have always refused to try some foods and pizza has been among them.  Yesterday I was hungry, and Mommy had a pizza bone flavored with cheese and butter so I took it and ate it.  It was delicious so I was given more.  Then I realized that I have been missing out on them for the past 11 years.  Yes, even a genius dog like myself makes the occasional mistake, but it won't happen again!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Pizza Bones)