Sunday, March 27, 2016

Happy Easter !!!!!!#!

Happy Easter to all my readers.  I hope you resisted the urge to chase the bunny.  Easter is the day the humans celebrate bunnies.  I think there is a religious celebration.  However, churches don't allow dogs so I'm sticking with the bunny who brings me toys and treats. I'm sure God understands because, of all his creatures, dogs can be the most loyal and loving.

The bunny is a.lot like Santa Paws so I left him a bowl of carrots and dried mango, and a coke because my pet bunny loved cokes.  Mama said he was smart because he would not drink Pepsi.  Mostly he drank water, but coke was a treat for him.  He was a great companion for me, but be died at the age of 11 years.  Then the humans got me a companion.  Now I have to share with a "foody".

Easter is the when chickens and "pre-chickens" are eaten.  The pre-birds are dyed to look colorful as they would be if they had.hatched into birds.  I heard humom planning an Easter egg hunt for Angel.and me.  This dog does not eat eggs so it is a contest.that Angel will win.

Feel free to chases squirrels and chipmunks. They are stingy and do not give gifts to a dog.

Demon.Flash Bandit (Celebrating Easter)

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Demon Flash Bandit's Craft Corner

Before I start this blog, I want to let my readers know that I and my humans have been to Detroit many times.  It has some wonderful museums and many places of interest.  I hope it solves its problems.  All cities and towns have  some kind of problem.

Today, I want you to imagine a scenario where you are lost in the wilderness.  Whether you are alone or with your human, we dogs know that fate is in our paws.  In fact, chances are the human is the one who got us lost.  Cell phones are useless if the area has no signal or the batteries are dead.  You are then facing 1970's lack of  technology. I have no idea why so many humans like to go hiking or camping in a tent.  My wolf ancestors had enough sense to make friends so we could warm ourselves in front of their fire and share their food.  Sitting in front of a fire with a full tummy while taking a nap or getting a tummy rub is pure bliss for a dog!  My idea of a perfect vacation involves an app showing all the Burger King locations.  A dog has to eat.  Anyhow, let's say you followed your semi brainless human on a wilderness hike and your human and you both are hopelessly lost.  Sure, you'll be the hero who uses your vast intellect to get back to civilization.  However, it might take a couple of days.  Although some humans carry pocket knives, chances are the stupid human who gets lost in the wilderness is one who doesn't.  This is why the information on is so useful.  You can look up "how to make a knife out of a bone.  I know it is not what a dog wants to do with the bone that was supposed to be a snack.  It is a shame that a dog has to sacrifice a bone because he has to help his human.  Personally, I will make that kind of sacrifice because I love my humans.  Make sure you check for the information before you go.  If you can't use a cell phone, you won't get the Internet either.

Demon Flash Bandit (Crafty Dog)

Monday, March 21, 2016

Fairview is Detroit, Michiham

Humom has been watching a Television series called Desperate Housewives.   It was on the air for 8 seasons-yeah, 8 long boring seasons, and humom watched all of them.  The show consisted of a bunch of housewives socializing which is code for gossiping, complaining, and drinking more wine than an alcoholic
wino.  There were 2 houses in the neighborhood that burned down, and there were several murders.  Several of the husbands had been in prison.  There were no dogs in the neighborhood because no dog wanted to live there. Even Angel hated the show.  How humom could watch was  beyond understanding for Angel and me.

I could not keep from wondering where this neighborhood called Fairview was located I did some research, and it is in Detroit
 Michigan. For 4 years in the last century, there was a city which was annexed by the city of Detroit called Fairview.  In fact, one of the streets that my human dad grew up one was one of border streets, Bewick.  He had no idea it was at one time in a different city.  How did I know it was Detroit?  When 2 houses burned down, and there, were several murders,  I got suspicious.  Most if not all the children were in private schools which, judging from the Detroit schools makes sense.  It also explains why Bree had so many guns.  A lot of people there sleep with their guns.  They tried to disguise the city by not having crack houses, but you can't fool this dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (I'm No Fool)

Friday, March 18, 2016

Leading the pack

With the election getting more attention  I decided to post a photo of my bumper sticker. This was designed by my brother, William.  We are waiting to get a batch of them from the printer.  I decided to start talking about my campaign before the voters get tired of hearing about politics, and start watching something intellectual like Spongebob Squarepants instead.

I'm sure all the candidates are nice humans who mean well, but they still think like humans.  It also means they are gullible.  For example, when Mr. Trump suggested that the gold in Fort Knox be replaced with acorns, I can only assume he is listening to his squirrel he calls hair.  You don't pay attention to squirrels. They aren't wise like owls. Squirrels are meant to be chased.  In my opinion, it would make more sense to be on a milkbone standard.  However, I won't make any changes because I don't want to lock milkbones in a vault.  Milkbones were meant to be eaten by a dog.

Wouldn't you prefer to see my face on television giving the state of the union address rather than Sanders or Hilary?  I'm much handsomer than either of them.

A dog like me should  be president because it takes a lead dog to lead the pack.

Demon Flash Bandit (Lead Dog)

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Movie Review: ":Black .Mass

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  My stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman is dressed for the day. My humans have him do all the stuff that is dangerous to them.  I have made it clear that .tbat anyone who tries to put clothing on me might not keep 5 fingers on both paws.

It is time I write a movie review, and the movie that receives this honor today is Black Mass starring Johnny Depp.  This movie is based on the life of Whitey Bulgar, a Boston criminal turned FBI informant.  This movie is one of those suspenseful ones.  I must warn my readers that I am about to issue a spoiler alert.  Angel Zoom Smokey and millions of women in the audience were upset about Johnny Depp'S baldness.  The movie fails to answer thAt important question.  However, there is an extra clip on .the blu ray showing Depp getting madeup for the part.  His hair was covered with a bald cap which was covered with some hair on the sides.  With that in mind , women can  relax.  Johnny's hair is safe.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Monday, March 14, 2016

Humom is a Magician

Since my last blog entry, I have been a very busy dog.  Humom bought Angel and myself a beef bone.  Ask any dog:  bones do not chew themselves so I have been busy working on my project.  Chewing bones is one of my favorite hobbies.  In fact, I have been watching over both bones because Angel didn't want hers.  Yeah, it is strange, but she said she wanted me to have it.

I have an important announcement concerning humom.   Earlier today, she had a snickerdoodle cookie in her hand, and it disappeared.  I know it is hard to believe, but I saw it vanish with my own blue eyes.  If any of my readers know a magical talent agent, let me know so the agent can sign a contract with humom.  She should  be booked into Las Vegas.  I am willing to appear with her for morale support.  I would be the eye candy for the audience.  Besides, that is my  favorite magic trick!

Demon Flash Bandit (Assistant)

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Angel Zoom Smokey is 9 Years Old

The big party here is winding down.  I don't need to go into details since it was all over the tabloids.  However, I will write about the party for the dogs who wisely spend their cash on milk bones. Sunday, March 6 was Angel Zoom Smokey's Wolfday (the humans call it a birthday).  Angel Zoom Smokey is 9 years old.  Time passes so quickly.  It seems like only yesterday that Mommy drove down to Ohio to get Angel from her breeder.  Ah, the memories.  When I met Angel and her sister, they  barked at me.  I was nice and did not bark at them.  Imagine my shock when my humom put her in the car with us when we left.  Humom thought I was lonely and needed another dog.  This is a classic case of humans making stupid assumptions without consulting the dog!

When we got home, I tried to be nice to her
  I politely showed her MY stuff, and she had no respect for my possessions.  I got out the camera to take photos of her.  She hid from the camera which was very annoying.  I needed a photo to sell her on eBay.  After all, she was bothering stuff that belonged to the humans too.  Since then, I've learned that ebay does not allow pet sales. I can only assume it is run by humans.

I could go on further about her personality. but sometimes now I do play with her and give her a kiss.  Getting the same toys as she does on her wolfday helps.
Humom ordered us our own bacon  pizza from Hungry Howies.  Those nice people will bring food right to your door.  We got new toys, and a special birtday cake for dogs.   It was good.  I didn't mean to spend so much time on Memory Lane.  However, things did turn out okay in the long run.  Mom said to thank Frank and Deboraha Pusateri in Ohio for breeding Angel Zoom Smokey.

Demon Flash Bandit (Remembering)

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Catwoman: Human or Cat

My good friend, Princess Leah, left a comment of one of my recent blogs that asked if I would vote for Catwoman.  Personally, I like cats, but I think Catwoman is a human trying to pass as a cat.  From what I've observed of the human leadership on the planet, I do not think that humans are intelligent enough to make the important decisions.  The world would be better off with dogs in charge.  Cats are okay as assistants to dogs.  Let's face facts, cats like to sit or lie around and act superior to all other species. When an important decision must be made, cats are cleaning themselves or coughing up a hairball.  Dogs don't mind getting dirty to get a job done. In fact, we like to get dirty.  It is a hobby for many dogs.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Super Tuesday

Tuesday, March 1, is an exciting day.  It is called Super Tuesday.  Several states get to vote for their favorite superhero.  What other reason can there be for calling it Super Tuesday?  If you think Superman and Batman are the best, vote in the D.C. party.  If you prefer one of the XMen, vote in the Marvel party.  I think Superman will be the choice among many humans because he has the name for it.  I appreciate that voting is a private matter.  However, this dog is going to publish  my voting plans.  My vote goes to (drum roll) Superdog from the D.C. party.  Why?    Because he is a dog. I urge  my readers to vote for Superdog also lest we up with a humanoid super hero instead of a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Voter)