Monday, May 24, 2010

World's Greatest Secret Agent and Master of Disguise

Now that the "Cold War" is over, the United States has released a lot of classified information which means that I can now write about a spy who was a master of disguise and to whom the citizens of the world owe much thanks. That spy is none other than: Mr. Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head likes to talk about his ancestor, Patty O'Potato Head, who came to the United States from Ireland just before the big potato famine. In fact, I would guess that so many of his family coming here might have actually caused the potato famine in Ireland. Sadly, there was one human named Patrick Potato, who was killed and eaten by his fellow humans--they thought he was a potato. It shows what a genius at disguise the Potato Heads have always been. They adjusted to life in their new home, with many of them becoming policemen and firemen and construction workers-one even became a Police Officer.

As time went on, the talent for disguise was not missed by the federal government who asked members of the Potato Clan to become spies, and they gladly offered their help, but the best was Mr. Percival Potato Head, who was a top spy. He was able to slip past foreign agents disguised as movie stars. One day he would be Darth Tater, Spud Trooper, R2-Potatoo, Luke Frywalker, or Yam Solo from Star Wars. Another time he would be Spider-Spud/Peter Tater from Spiderman, Optimash Prime from Transformers, or Tony Starch from Iron Man. He once even passed as a Tater of the Lost Ark. He could slip in and out of important places and get top secret information because the other world leaders thought he was merely an actor. I might add that in a Tootsie type twist, he has even dressed as Princess Tater. Mr. Potato Head did all these things and took chances on becoming mashed potatoes just so that we can all live a more peaceful, happy life, and for that we owe Mr. Potato Head a great debt of gratitude. Here is a special blessing to Mr. Potato Head from Demon Flash Bandit (I call it a Husky Blessing). May you see an end to potato bugs, and may you never turned into hash browns.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About the World's Best Secret Agent)

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