Wishbone--Talented Dog!

I was thinking about how nice it would be to read a good book, but what book should I choose? I checked the Internet and imagine my surprise when I discovered the wonderful book, The Mutt in the Iron Muzzle, which is a book in the Wishbone series. Wishbone is well known in acting circles as being one of the best actors of all time. Wishbone has played such varying roles, that if he were human, he would have a shelf filled with Oscars, but the humans at the Academy refuse to recognize his genius because the humans are jealous that they can't do things as well as us dogs. I was so excited to see that I could order this book at Amazon because it looks like good reading to me. I plan to order the book in hardback so it can be a permanent addition to my library. Yes, I have a library. Don't all dogs? Humans might build their homes without libraries, but dogs have sophisticated taste in such things. Sure, some things I would like to have and don't--like a theatre room, but my funds are limited and a dog can't have all the things he would like to have. I will tell you that if I had a theatre room, the seats would have a built in water holder, and holders for dog dishes that can be filled with Yummy Chummies, Milkbones, Bit o Chicken, and other treats. A dog does enjoy a snack while he watches a movie, and you don't want to have to get up and get the snack after the movie starts. I would also make sure there is an air conditioning vent above each chair. I like cold--after all, I am a Siberian Husky. Although this blog is about literature, I would love to see Mutt in the Iron Muzzle turned into a movie starring that great actor, Wishbone. Other books that can be ordered with Wishbone as the main character are Moby Dog and Be a Wolf. Wishbone is so good with classic literature. I'm assuming this is because he is a dog, and he has very high class taste because of his dogness. For those of you who would like to read some classically good literature, I recommend Wishbone books highly. I am going to stop writing now so I can go to Amazon and order these treasures. If you don't have your own library, perhaps you can check them out at your local library. I'm sure all the libraries have them in their Wishbone section.

Demon Flash Bandit (Literary Dog)

Disney Dog World--A Reality

On March 17, 2010, I wrote a blog about how Disney allows a mouse to run its parks and then does not allow dogs to enter the parks. I suggested they open a Disney Dog World for dogs. Imagine how thrilled I was when I saw on the Internet news today that the nice folks at Disney took my suggestion and are now opening a dog resort at Disney World. The name of the resort is Best Friends Pet Care Resort and it opens on August 27. It can accommodate 270 dogs and 30 cats (a good ratio if you ask this dog), and it will even allow some more unusual pets like hamsters. If they allow hamsters, I am hoping they will include rabbits. For VIP guests (or should it be VID-Very Important Dogs?), there are 4 VIP suites that offer television, raised bedding, and private yards. There are additional things that can be arranged from bedtime stories to cuddle sessions. If you ask this dog's opinion, they could skip the bathing and grooming salon. Most of us dogs do not want any part of that. The park features a canines only water park, and there is a private dog park where a dog can take his human or humans. If your family is deciding on a vacation, Disney World sounds like a winner to this dog because you can take the ENTIRE family--even us fur kids. The park for dogs sounds wonderful! There are all sorts of things your humans can do in addition to DisneyWorld--as if that isn't enough. Universal Studios has parks there. Gatorland, a park I wrote about in detail recently is in Orlando. Orlando also has many dinner theatres, and all sorts of shopping from upscale to air conditioned open every day flea markets. There are beaches, and the Kennedy Space Center is also nearby. Just writing about the place makes me ready to book a vacation there. Now dogs, all you have to do is persuade your human to take you to the new resort. I would suggest you get on the Internet, do some research, print up some photos of the new resort and cleverly conceal them in the magazines your humans like to read. It worked for Ralphy in the movie, A Christmas Story. Good luck and I hope you get your vacation in Orlando. Disney should have opened this resort decades ago.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy About New Disney Resort)

The Tick

Last week I wrote a blog about my arch enemy and the arch enemy of many other dogs, the flea. Today I am going to write about The Tick. Some people will tell you that ticks are parasites who, like fleas, like to suck the blood out of a dog or human. It is a sad fact that there are some small bugs who annoy animals that are called ticks. Even I had a run in with one when I was a puppy. However, there is also a super hero named The Tick and he is not a bug. At least he isn't a bug who annoys dogs and humans. He is a super hero who fights crime. He wears a blue costume, and along with his side kick Arthur, who wears a moth suit, fights villians like Brainchild. Arthur wears a moth costume but is often mistaken for a bunny or maybe he is a bunny who wants to be a moth. Anyway, if you meet The Tick, be sure and ask for his autograph. If you run into one of the little "bug" ticks, don't bother. I doubt that they are even smart enough to sign their names. In fact, I wonder--why hasn't The Tick made an appearance at our local ComicCon to meet his fans? I know I would like to meet him and get his autograph. I have to stop writing now. I have some research to do......now how do I find out how to get in touch with The Tick's agent?

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About The Tick, Superhero)

New "Water Cooler"--Life is Good

I am happy to report that Mommy went and bought Angel Zoom Smokey and myself a new "water cooler", and this one is even bigger than the last one. This one holds 2 1/2 gallons of water. Now life can get back to normal and us dogs can solve world problems while hanging out at the water cooler again. I hope most large companies have more than one water cooler so that if a leak develops, they can still make major company decisions. BP definitely needed more than one because when their water cooler happened to spring a leak at the same time as their oil well in the Gulf, they were unable to make any corporate decisions because there was no water cooler around which the executives could discuss the problem. Now that the water cooler is back, there are several new ideas to fix the problem in the Gulf of Mexico. One of their highly inventive employees suggested adding truck loads of vinegar to create oil and vinegar salad dressing. I don't mean to be critical, but I think it is a different kind of oil that they use in the dressing. Dick Cheney called and suggested they send all the animals covered in oil to Guantanamo Bay because he says they are behind the leak. He says it was an elaborate plan to steal the oil. Why do you think he is in the hospital? He got shot by an angry pelican, but the government doesn't want the general public to know because it would cause panic. Pelicans do not take being accused of stealing lightly. When birds get guns, this dog gets upset because those evil birds have been stealing my snow and trying to take over the planet by causing global warming for years now. For those who have not read my theory, why do you think the birds show up and start singing just when the snow starts to melt? Coincidence? This dog is not buying it. So far, the best idea was mine to have cars drive up on the beach and fill up their cars with oil. As usual, the humans never listen to the wise advice of a dog. They like to keep trying their own silly ideas. By the way, if you think the pelicans are getting bad, be sure and avoid the swordfish--they are aching for a duel.

My town, Howell, Michigan, is having a Balloonfest this weekend. The hot air balloons are always fun to watch, but I have a suggestion for them to make it better. They should drop dog biscuits from the side of their balloon. All us dogs think this is a brilliant plan. They do have America's Best Frisbee dogs as entertainment, but I think dropping dog biscuits from the balloons would assure them of a larger audience of dogs.

I hope my readers are having a wonderful weekend, and let's hope that the leak in my water cooler is not some kind of national conspiracy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy Dog With New "Water Cooler")

Water Cooler Crisis, and Dumpster Diving

There is a crisis at my house. Okay, maybe crisis might be a bit of a overstatement, but my nice water cooler has sprung a leak, and Mommy has to go out and buy me a new one. The reason that it is a crisis is that, as all the humans know, the best gossip and news is passed around at the water cooler. It happens to be a well documented fact. Large companies will not make major announcements until the "rumor" has been "documented" at the water cooler. This is the real reason that BP didn't so anything in the Gulf for so long. Evidently, the word didn't get out at the water cooler. This is why I use the word crisis for the situation. Sure, some humans might say, big deal, there is a bit of water on the floor, clean it up, but what if the roof is falling in and no one knows because there is no workable water cooler to let everyone compare notes? I know some of you may ask, doesn't having a piece of plaster hit you on the head become a clue that there might be a problem? Sure, it is a hint, but a dog could just think someone is having a plaster fight. You know it is serious if the problem is confirmed at the water cooler. Believe me, when my human brothers were young, their dad showed them how to have White Castle fights. For those of you who don't know what White Castles are, they are little hamburgers that come in little boxes. The southern equivalent is Krystal. Anyway, when they brought the burgers home, my 3 brothers and my dad would throw the little boxes at each other. They had a surprisingly good time while Mommy wondered if all males have fun doing stupid things. By the way, the answer to that is yes, they do. How else do you explain hockey? The ice they play on is COOL, but the rest of the game seems pretty pointless to this dog.

Sometimes a dog has to comment on the human news. I saw an article today about Sarah Palin speaking at a university in California, and she was insulting some of the students who "dumpster dived" to get information about how much she was paid. First of all, this dog is insulted. I happen to enjoy going through the garbage, and so do many of my doggy pals. I take this as a personal insult to my integrity as a dog. It does make me realize that neither political party seems to understand much about money. I really don't care what they pay Palin to speak, but the university is a public university getting public funds, and they are strapped for money. Having her is supposed to be a fund raiser, but you only raise funds if the fund raiser costs less than the amount brought in. Those students are having to pay for the education so I would have dumpster dived to find out how much she was being paid too. If it is reasonable, why is she trying to hide it? Otherwise, I don't care how much people are paid. Movie stars--sports stars...no matter, if they bring in enough cash, they are worth what they are being paid. I might add that the university could have solved the whole problem by buying a shredder which costs less than $50.00. Maybe Palin should buy a truck load of them and donate it to each place she speaks so that no one would find anything in the garbage. I think Ms. Palin needs to relax and accept that if you are in the public eye, things like that will happen. Someone should explain to her that people do go through celebrity trash. In fact, I've seen some people going through regular trash rescuing items. If you ask this dog, Palin needs to be introduced to reality.

Demon Flash Bandit (Upset Over Water Cooler, and Defending Dumpster Diving)

My Latest "Project"

The weather has been hot here which is not acceptable to this dog. Some people say that you can't do much about the weather, but I do not think this is true. I think the humans could build a giant dome around the planet and air condition the whole place. That way a dog would not get hot when he has to go outside. Sure, it might cost some money, but that is what money is for. If you don't spend it on something useful, it just sits there and does nothing. If there is one thing this dog does not like, it is lazy money hanging around and not doing anything. I have told the money in this house that if it doesn't "pull its weight" around here, I will spend it all on dingo bones. In fact, I might spend it all on dingo bones anyway. They are infinitely more fun than money.

I have been watching television, and I have noticed that the humans who have nice, in ground pools seem to be happier when it is hot so I got out the yellow pages, and ordered a pool for the humans. It is a surprise, and I'm sure they are going to be so happy with me for watching out for them. It is much easier to have a backyard pool than to have to walk all the way to the neighborhood beach. I ordered one of the nicer ones. This dog does not like to be cheap. I have no idea why some of the humans are so cheap. I once asked one of them about it and they started talking about money not growing on trees. I have to admit I quit listening since the last time I looked, the money is paper, and paper does come from trees so I think some of the humans must be really stupid. Besides, I am saving lots of money on the pool by digging the hole myself. I just have to keep my humans out of the back yard until the pool is in or they might think I am trying to dig a hole to China. If they happen to see the hole, I am going to tell them that I am digging a hole to China. Where else do you expect to find the best Chinese food? The humans can't argue with that kind of logic. Okay, they can argue, but they won't win. They can't expect to win anyway---they are arguing with a dog who has superior intelligence! I bet the humans are going to be so thrilled with the new pool. I'm sure the bill won't matter since they are going to have so much fun.

Demon Flash Bandit (Making Life Better for the Humans--Thousands of Dollars at a Time)

Head em Up, Move Em Out---RAWHIDE

Mommy and I often watch old television programs which is okay with this dog. However, I am wondering why we have never watched one that sounds intriguing to me: Rawhide. This must have been the best television show of its time. I am wondering why it was ever cancelled. I know I never lose interest in my rawhide bones. The great actor, Clint Eastwood was in it and he even guest starred on an episode of Mr. Ed so you know he was a great actor in his time. You know a horse would not allow him on his show if he wasn't very talented. Because I want to watch the show, I have been busy making signs that say, "let's watch Rawhide". I am hoping that Mommy will get the hint. If not, I will have to take further measures to insure that I get to watch this television show. If she doesn't figure it out, I might even just have to go to Amazon and order it myself. The humans aren't good at taking a dog's suggestions. Now that I think about it, I'll just go get some plastic money out of Mommy's purse and order it for myself. I'm sure she won't mind. I'll just have them send it directly to me, Demon Flash Bandit. Another problem solved by the dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Watch Rawhide)

My Arch Emeny: The Flea!

Today I am going to discuss one of a dog's natural enemies: the flea. I have yet to meet a human who likes the little creatures, and yet they still live. You would think that the humans would have found a way to eradicate them by now even if they destroy the entire planet in the process. It isn't like that has ever stopped the humans from a task in the past. Usually, humans decide something needs to be done and it gets done even if doing it might not be the best thing for them. I can't tell you how many times I have watched the humans slather themselves with insect repellent before going outside. I always wonder--what is worse--the insect who might bite once and cause some itchiness or the insecticide that might end up being poison to the human down the road?

I think the reason that humans haven't killed off our arch enemy, the flea, is because they enjoy the circuses that entertain them with flea antics. I decided to interview one of the fleas in a flea circus to see what life is like for the fleas who don't bother dogs, but choose to entertain the masses. The flea's name is Peter.

Demon Flash Bandit: Hello Peter. Do you enjoy working in the flea circus?

Peter: I would prefer to suck the blood from a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit: Get away from me you little vampire.

That interview didn't go well. I managed to get away, but I think this proves my point about fleas being worthless, annoying creatures. I do hate to report that you can see Peter in an upcoming Twilight movie sequel. Peter plays another vampire love interest for Bella. The sequel is called, Love at First Bite.....wait a minute that is a good vampire movie. The sequel is called Twilight 3: For those who saw 1 and 2.

Back to the subject of fleas. Peter is not the only famous flea in the world. One of the musicians in the Red Hot Chili Peppers decided to use an "ironic name", Flea. Who would expect a flea to be named Flea? I guess he must be a talented flea to be in a band. I guess dogs are not allowed at their performances because if we were, the concert would end early and they would have lots of angry fans wanting their money back. Fleas just can't resist a dog.

There are a few business fleas too which are the entrepreneurs who invented flea markets. There are flea markets all over the country so they have done very well with the concept. In fact, I have yet to understand why people will go to the markets to buy fleas, but the humans aren't the smartest species on the planet. I can guarantee that this dog would never purchase a flea. Why would I want one?

Perhaps that is why the humans haven't eradicated the fleas yet. They probably feel stupid that they are trying to kill something they spent good money for at the flea market.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Flea Fan)

Captain Porthos--Soon to be Admiral Porthos!

Mommy and me have been watching the old television show, Enterprise, and I want to tell you that my favorite character on the show is the captain, Capt. Porthos. Capt Porthos is the best captain ever to be put in charge of a starship. If the show was still on the air, I think he would be an Admiral by now. The reason I am so happy to see Porthos as Captain of the Starship Enterprise is that finally, a dog has reached a position of power in Star Fleet. With his outstanding performance, I'm sure other dogs will be put in similar positions of power. Finally, dogs are getting some of the recognition they deserve. It made me happy to watch the show. Enterprise, as usual, you are a great television show.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Captain Porthos)

Dinosaur Bones and the Carnegie Museum

I have been thinking about where I would like to go on vacation. My natural choice was Alaska, but then I remembered hearing the humans talk about a delightful place called the Carnegie Museum of Natural History. Therefore, I have decided on my destination: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The Carnegie Museum happens to have an impressive collection of dinosaur bones. My humans have been there, and I have heard them talk about it so I got on the Internet and did some research. It turns out that the museum has all sorts of dinosaur bones. Yes, dinosaur bones--what dog wouldn't enjoy going there? I have yet to meet a dog with teeth who doesn't enjoy a good bone. If fact, if a dog doesn't have teeth, I'm sure he would want a bone that is ground up so he can eat it--kind of like baby food for dogs. However, I'm not writing this to discuss treats for elderly dogs, I am writing about dinosaur bones. Sure, the humans go there to learn more about dinosaurs. All I need to know is that they have bones. I am thinking that while the humans are walking around looking at the other things the museum has to offer, I could settle down and enjoy a tasty dinosaur bone. I plan to be there on July 10, 2010 for Polar Day when the museum has scheduled activities relating to the icy north--bones and my favorite climate! Yes, a vacation dream come true for a dog!!!! The only thing that I'm concerned about is how a bone will taste after it has been buried for so long and then unearthed. I have talked to many dogs about this and some of them have had bones buried for several years, and they said that bones taste even better with time. I'm hoping this is true of dinosaur bones too. If so, they will be the most delicious bones on the planet. Aged bones: something that most dogs don't have the patience to manage---the dinosaurs have already achieved for us. I just hope that there isn't a point at which they become too old and start tasting bad. At least I will know, and I can tell the government to start putting expiration dates on a dog's bones. I am only too happy to do the research for the government on this subject. My study shouldn't cost more than a million dollars which is a real bargain compared to most government studies.

Demon Flash Bandit (Scientific Dog)

Ballet Anyone????

As my regular readers already know, I sometimes like to comment on things the humans do from a dog's perspective and today is one of those times. My blog today is about ballet. Ballet is a type of dance that originated during the Italian Renaissance courts of the 15th century. For my fellow dogs, I'll just say that is a very l-o-n-g time ago. You would think that by now, the humans wouldn't bother with it anymore, but some of them still put a lot of time and effort into learning to be ballet dancers. In ballet, the humans jump around gracefully so I actually think it isn't a dance, but it is an agility test for humans. Dogs have agility tests, and I think the humans must want their own kind of agility test. The dancers don't step down on their entire paw--they step on their toes, which is the equivalent of a dog dancing on its claws. I have seen plenty of dogs dancing, and I have to tell you that I have yet to see a dog bother to learn the ballet. I suppose part of it is due to them having to wear shoes. I know this dog will not wear shoes. If the humans try to put shoes on my paws, they will quit trying to put them on out of sheer frustration. I can pull off one shoe while they are putting on another. This dog does not think that it is a coincidence that ballet is spelled so much like bullet. If the humans ever decide that this dog has to dance ballet, get the bullet and shoot me. It will put me out of my misery. Let's face it, if it isn't embarrassing enough to dance ballet, the outfits they choose are even worse--the guys wear silly looking tights that would embarrass Superman, and the ladies wear tutus. The name even sounds silly--tutu. Was threethree taken? I think it is safe to assume that my humans will never make me become a ballet dancer, but that is the humans' loss. I happen to be awesome to watch.

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on Ballet)

Vending Machines for Dogs-- A Great Idea!!!!

Vending machines--now they have them with pet products. Yes, it is nice to know that there are vending machines that have wonderful pet products for the humans to buy. When a dog is in the mood for a snack, the dog's human can put some money into a machine and buy the dog a treat. Actually, I am glad they have tasty treats like Bit O Luv and Yummy Chummies in the machines, but when it comes to food, I have no problem with the ice cream machines and the ones who give the humans peanut butter crackers, etc. However, when I learned that they have vending machines with dog toys, that made me happy. Sure, I am perfectly happy eating a human ice cream, but what do you do when you want to play with a ball or a frisbee and there are none available? If you are in a pet vending area, you can buy a toy like that from the machine. That has to be the coolest development in doggy marketing ever. I actually have a machine here at home where I can press the bone, and it gives me a treat. The big difference is that here at home, I don't have to pay any money for the treats. I think this is a wonderful idea, and I'm not sure why the humans didn't think of vending machines for dogs earlier. The only bad thing is that the humans never know when to stop with their ideas. They have also invented a vending machine that "gives a dog a bath". I am against this vending machine for the obvious reason that I don't like baths, and as I have mentioned in an earlier blog under rules for training humans, humans should not be allowed to bathe a dog unless they have written and notarized permission from the dog. Some humans ignore this and continue to bathe dogs without permission, but should the dog decide to have them arrested and taken to court, if they do not have the proper documentation, they would face serious penalties. In fact, they could be put in prison if the judge happens to be a dog. I wonder how many of the humans realize just how serious a matter this is. Judge Beatrice Beagle sent 3 humans to jail last month for that very reason on her television program, Doggy Court. If you haven't watched Doggy Court, you should. I love one of the lawyers on there, Larry the Labrador. You had better watch out if you go up against him. He represented Polly the Pit Bull last month and he got her humans 6 months in prison for the bath they gave her without permission, and they also have to do 300 hours of community service. I hope they have learned their lesson. Polly said the trauma of the bath still bothers her. She gets scared every time she sees a bathtub, and she is having to see a therapist. Anyway, vending machines with dog stuff--an idea whose time has come!

Demon Flash Bandit (I'll Take A Ball and a Frisbee, Please)

Cars: Not Just Machines, They Have Dreams Too!

I am a dog who enjoys a good ride particularly a ride to Burger King, but even if I don't go to BK, I still enjoy taking a nice ride in the car. This brings me to today's blog topic---I have been observing car names, and I don't think a lot of cars are happy being cars. Before you dismiss my theory, I am going to offer proof.

Many cars want to be animals. If they didn't want to be animals, why would they have names like Mustang, Cougar, Jaguar, Rabbit, Maverick, and Pinto? Of all of these cars, it seems that types of horses are most popular. I can understand that since cars replaced horses and horses are probably happy they did. I know I'm a sled dog, and I'm glad I don't have to pull the humans around. Now the horses can graze all day in a nice pasture without the humans annoying them to take them places.

Some cars have other ideas about what they want to be. Some want to be snakes. These cars are the Cobra, Copperhead, and Viper. A couple of cars want to be insects judging by the Super Bee, , Spyder, and the Beetle (which is often referred to as a bug). Some cars want to be birds--don't ask me why a car would want to be an evil varmint like a bird because I know I would never want to be a bird. Those cars are the Firebird, the Thunderbird (which I think meant sacred bearer of happiness to the Native Americans), and the Falcon. The Rolls Royce Phantom isn't sure if it even wants to be anything. I suppose it would prefer not to be seen if the car was given a choice.

I have to tell you that it is a compliment that one car wants to be me. Yes, the Dodge Demon is aspiring to be a dog and not just any dog, Demon Flash Bandit, to be specific. I am so honored that the car wants to be me. I can't blame the car. I do live a good life, and I don't have to haul humans around all day. Another car aspiring to be a dog is the Cadillac Snoope de Ville. That car is a tribute to my favorite rap dog, Snoop Dogg. When I see a successful dog like him, I realize that all us dogs can reach our full potential if we put our paws forward and keep trying.

One car in particular wants to be a beverage and that car is the Suzuki Cappucino. I know that the car must have a coffee maker hooked up to the cigarette lighter. You know with a name like that, you shouldn't have to stop for coffee. The Aztek wants to be an entire tribe, and I'm glad to see a car with that kind of ambition. The Charger is the most popular car among cars because it's job is to charge batteries for other cars. One car even admits it wants to cause trouble because it wants to be a Gremlin. If you own one of those cars, do not, I repeat, DO NOT put gas in the car after midnight.

Some cars have names that even this dog was surprised to learn--The Daihatsu Naked is happy being a car, but does not want to be painted. The Toyota Deliboy is only happy when it is delivering food to humans. I have no comment for the Isuzu 20 Light Dump because I bet I know what all my readers are thinking. I just hope it is a dump truck. If it is a family car, that would just be sad. Another car that is very popular with the single men is the Volugrato Bimbo. I don't even think I need to explain why is it popular with men.

I know some of you may be wondering why a dog came up with all these car names. I think it is about time I had my own car. The humans say I'm not allowed to drive and can't get a driver's license. Who put the humans in charge anyway. I know I didn't. I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and TGIF.

Demon Flash Bandit (Car Want to Have Fun)

Gatorland: A Wonderful Place to Visit

Before I start with today's blog entry, I would like to tell you that when I interviewed Phineas T. Pineapple yesterday, I discovered that he had exaggerated his beginnings. Pineapples do not grow on trees. However, I won't hold it against him because, from my research, the rest of his life checks out; and he was so young at the time that he may honestly not remember. I also suspect he listens to much to his uncle, Phillip T (The) Pineapple, and his uncle is a bit eccentric.

Today's blog is about a place my humans visited a few years back in Orlando, Florida--Gatorland. I doubt that dogs are allowed and at least I can understand that since we dogs have big teeth, and we might scare the gators. They might be offended if us dogs are walking around calling them snack food. Anyway, it is a very cool attraction, and you know it has to be to compete with DisneyWorld and Universal theme parks. I suspect my brothers liked it better-or at least just as much. Since I have credentials as a journalist, I was able to get a video inteview with one of the gators, Her name is Gertrude, and I want to share that interview with my readers.

Demon Flash Bandit: Gertrude, it is so nice to meet you. Do you like living at Gatorland?

Gertrude, As a matter of fact, I do.

Demon Flash Bandit: My personal preference is a cold climate like Alaska. Do you think you would like it there?

Gertrude: No, we gators like to live where it is warm, but I'm sure Alaska is a nice place for a Siberian husky like yourself.

Demon Flash Bandit: Tell me about your life as a young gator.

Gertrude: I was born in a swamp in Louisiana.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why did you come to Florida?

Gertrude: I came here when Disneyworld opened. I thought there would be work for an alligator there since the park is owned and run by a mouse.

Demon Flash Bandit:
How did that work out for you?

Gertrude: It didn't. It seems that humans have a lot power in running Disney's parks, and they said they had no need for an alligator. I thought they could at least hire me for photo ops with the tourists. Anyway, I went down the road and got a job here at Gatorland and I have been here ever since.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why do you think that you gators have such a bad reputation among some of the humans?

Gertrude: I think they are scared of us because they think they might become our dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, I guess that would cause that kind of reaction. Do you like humans?

Gertrude. Yes, they are particularly good with ketchup.

Demon Flash Bandit: It is time to go now. I do hope you continue to live a happy life there in Gatorland.
End of Interview

Note: I'm not so sure that this dog will visit there since Gertrude has several bottles of ketchup in her paws.

I was just joking about the ketchup. Gatorland is a safe place to visit because the gators can't really get to the humans so even if the gator has a bottle of ketchup when you are there, don't worry, the gator is only dreaming.....he or she can't reach you.

By the way, there is also a store at Gatorland where you can buy gator themed items, but just so you know, you cannot buy an actual gator there no matter how much you want one.

For those who would like further information about Gatorland, the web address is;
http://www.gatorland.com/
My humans really did enjoy this attraction, and they highly recommend it for those visiting Orlando.

Demon Flash Bandit (Vacation Ideas for Humans and Dogs)

Phineas T.(The) Pineapple, a Wonderful Character from television show, Psych

This dog is a fan of the television show, Psych, as are my humans. Mommy has all the seasons on dvd, and she was watching some of them yesterday. For those of you who haven't seen it, Shawn has a real gift for noticing details which makes him a good detective, but unlike his father, (a retired policeman), Shawn likes to go his own way. Therefore, he uses his deductive reasoning to make it look like he is a psychic, and he helps the police force solve crimes. He has a friend from childhood, Gus, who helps him with his endeavors even though Gus would probably be much happier doing his regular boring job and not helping Shawn with his cases. I'm sure you can find out lots about these two characters and the actors who play the roles, so I am going to discuss another main character who really doesn't get the credit he should for all of his work. He has been in every episode---yes, EVERY episode. That largely unnoticed actor is Phineas T. (The) Pineapple. I arranged an interview with Phineas, and I was amazed at how interesting his life has been. Growing up on a tree in Hawaii, he was noticed by the nice people at Dole, and they gave him a scholarship to pursue his dream--becoming an actor. He graduated with honors from the prestigious acting school, New York Film Academy in Los Angeles, California, where his professors were amazed at his talent. He got his first break in a Fruit of the Loom commercial, and his performance as the dancing pineapple got him noticed by the studio executives who realized that this was not just an ordinary pineapple. Sadly, he had signed a contract with the Fruit of the Loom company so he couldn't leave them for a couple of years or people would think he was rotten, and Phineas is not a rotten pineapple--he is one of the good ones. The Fruit of the Loom people decided to let him move on as long as he would continue to do their commercials, which he did which made him one busy pineapple. He also did a stint for Minute Maid when they were advertising their pineapple orange juice. He even took a trip to Great Britain so he could play the part of Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. His first movie was a small part in Tropic Thunder where he played the part of a grenade. When asked how he liked being in a movie, he said the part was a real blast. Phineas went through a period of deep depression after the movie because he was unemployed and thought he could end up hamming it up on a pizza, but then he was hired by the folks who make Psych to play the part of the pineapple, which is one of his most exceptional roles. If you have not seen this show, I would suggest you watch it because if Demon Flash Bandit likes it, you know it has to be good. I kind of think of myself as being a bit like Shawn--I do tend to be quite popular and I like to do as I please. If you don't believe it, check my past blog about training the humans to do what a dog says. If you would like to learn more about this television show, the site to go to is:
http://www.usanetwork.com/series/psych Demon Flash Bandit, sniffing out all the interesting websites!

Demon Flash Bandit (Saluting Phineas T. Pineapple)

My Gardening Ideas

Many of the humans are busy with their gardens at this time of year, and I suppose if that makes them happy, it is okay with this dog. However, I am not a dog who likes vegetables. I don't think veggies even deserve their own food group. I prefer meat. This brings me to the point of this blog. This dog does not understand why the humans waste so much valuable time planting veggies when they could be planting meat. If gardens grew meat instead of vegetables, rabbits would not be a problem since rabbits prefer salads. This dog would love to see fields of beef, chicken, pork, and salmon growing. The salmon, like rice, would need to be covered in water. Combination planting could be done. You could plant spaghetti noodles, tomatoes, beef, and spices like oregano in one spot, and harvest them into one pan and cook together. What a time saver that would be!!!! I wonder why the humans haven't thought of this before. I think it takes a dog to think of things like this. We have inventive minds, and we have plenty of time to think of things while we are napping or pretending to nap. By the way, in addition to meat, cheese would be a nice thing to plant, and so would candy. If the humans would grow candy, it would be easier for a dog to get rather than having to climb on a chair and open the cabinet. In fact, if I could grow my own Burger King, I would be a happy dog. I wouldn't mind going out everyday to harvest all the tasty burgers from my Burger King bushes. I think I will plant a money tree and see how that works out. I could harvest the money and go and buy my own toys and treats. That would be so cool for a dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Better Gardening Ideas)

Fisher Price Cheer for me Toilet

If a home is blessed with a toddler, the day will inevitably come when these small humans will have to be housebroken, or in the terms of humans, potty trained. Normally, this would be a subject that a dog would not bother to write a blog about, but when I happened to be ripping up some newspaper ads, and I saw a picture of a sale item at the local Meijer store which was called a "happy potty chair". The potty chair looks like a small toilet, and the lid even has a smiley face. Officially it is called the Cheer for me Toilet, and it is made by Fisher Price. Why am I writing a blog about a potty chair? There is an important reason that this dog has chosen to cover this topic today. I personally was housebroken with applause, but I'm a dog. We are talking about human children here, and if you ask this dog, the humans get enough cheering as it is. Is it really sending the right message to a toddler that there should be cheering when the child has used the potty chair. What is next? Adult toilets with recorded happy messages to make the humans feel good about their latest accomplishment. This dog thinks that humans already think too highly of themselves. It isn't like if they work really hard and do everything right, they can become dogs--they are stuck at a much lower rung of evolution.

Pawnation ran a photo of a piglet wearing boots. The piglet looks miserable, and I felt so bad for him. I hope none of my humans decide to put booties on me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Does a Potty Chair Really Need to Cheer?)

Ebay: The Place I Look for Ancient Antiquities

Today I read a wonderful story on Pawnation about a young King Charles Cavalier Spaniel named Ellie, who is blind, and Leo, the German Shepherd who has voluntarily became her seeing eye dog. Leo is such a sweet dog to watch out for his little friend. They are hoping to raise enough money to do surgery so Ellie can see again, but until then, I am happy she has Leo to watch out for her.

I also write a diary entry on http://www.dogster.com/ everyday (to read it, you just put my name, Demon Flash Bandit, into the search engine on dogster). I have not mentioned Gahiji on this blog, but Gahiji is an ancient Egyptian dog who lives with his human, Habibah, in ancient Egypt. I sometimes share his diaries on Dogster, and since I don't want to do a lot of repeating, I probably won't share his entries on here. However, I am mentioning it to tell you what wonderful treasures you can find on Ebay. Yes, that is where I got Gahiji's diary. You can imagine my excitement when I saw that there was an ancient dog diary listed and at a very reasonable price that I couldn't resist. Usually you have to go to a garage sale to find ancient antiquities of comparable quality. I do have a collection of ancient dog diaries. It seems that dogs have been observing and commenting on their lives for centuries now. Anyway, there is no end to the unusual items a dog can find on Ebay. For example, last October, you could buy a haunted hotel in New Mexico. I don't think it sold, but I can't understand why--who wouldn't want to own a haunted hotel? Today I found a couple of interesting items because, it takes a dog to find the interesting stuff. For a starting bid of $8.99, you can own an acre of real estate on the moon. It turns out that due to a treaty among the nations at the United Nations, no govt. can own land on the moon so this would be perfect for those who are fed up with big government and taxes. I'm surprised many of the tea party supporters haven't already bought up large parcels--and the land is such a bargain. All you have to do is get over that little no oxygen and gravity problem. However, to be able to live tax free--it has to be a dream come true for a lot of humans. Let's not forget the more important items that can be purchased. There is 2 bids on "happiness: which is up to $1.02. You would think humans would be willing to pay more for happiness, but my humans aren't bidding on this item either. I think they are a bit too cynical to think that a certificate that says you are happy won't work. For my readers who aren't as cynical, if you act fast, you might be the high bidder for a lifetime of happiness--okay maybe it does have a time limit. I have to admit that I didn't read the entire description. There are so many cool things on Ebay including 2 items that caught my eye thanks to Gahiji. One is a Stargate model of Ra, and one is a mummy model kit. To be fair, they didn't catch my eye on Ebay because they are sitting in the computer room but they are listed on Ebay. I might add that Tails of the Tundra, a Siberian husky rescue group in Pennsylvania will be having one of their fund raising auctions on ebay so, if you like huskies, it is worth checking out their items. They usually have a lot of cool husky themed stuff. The last time Mommy got several things including a door hanger that says "Husky Escape Route". How did they know?

Demon Flash Bandit (Collector of Ancient Atiquities)

Make Your Own Candy Bar---Isn't That Work?

When I read that Hershey is opening a new attraction for those who love chocolate, I was excited. I have occasionally managed to grab a bite of that wonderful concoction, and it is delicious. I have a personal theory that the reason the humans say it is bad for dogs is because they are hoarding all of it for themselves. In fact, if I could get my paws on the chocolate supply, I would tell the humans it is good for dogs, but not good for them. Okay, that probably wouldn't stop most of them, but a dog can try. Hershey's Factory Works will allow a person to put on an apron and hair net, and make their own candy bar. They can add up to 3 ingredients and and then it is drenched in chocolate, and you can add little Hershey kisses shaped sprinkles. The candy is then allowed to cool and is packaged in a custom package. Sure, it sounds good, and the process could be a lot of fun, but the cost if $14.95. When this dog read that, I knew it was not for me. Why should I "work" and "make my own candy bar" which I will have to pay $14.95 for when I can go to the store, and get a candy bar that someone else has put the work into for $1.00 or less? Some dogs may not be good in math, but that means I could get about 15 candy bars for the price of one, and I don't care if they put my handsome face on the package......I'm still going to open it and eat the candy. Do you think a dog is going to smell some tasty food, and not want to eat it? If you have ever tried to open a candy bar with your paws, and I have, it isn't easy. As I said, I have managed to help myself because they were just sitting in a cabinet and all a dog had to do was climb on a chair and open a cabinet door which meant that the humans had obviously meant for me to help myself. (By the way, I didn't get sick, but the humans did confiscate it before I could eat very much of it--amid my protests.) Anyway, when a dog goes to open a candy bar, paws are not as agile as human hands, so you usually have to use your teeth to help you open it, and let's just say, the packaging tends to get messed up in the process. The other day Angel Zoom Smokey opened a box of milkbones and there were cardboard bits everywhere, and milkbones all over the floor. It was like hitting the jackpot in Las Vegas--only the prize was better than money.

I have a happy announcement to make. Mommy found a sale on Bit o Luv chicken flavor so she bought a lot of them. The party is at my house......BYOB (Bring Your Own Bone....I'm not Sharing Mine.)

Demon Flash Bandit (If I Have to Work, I Want the Item Cheaper!)

Twilight Remake, Elvis Potato Head, and My Plan to Clean up the Gulf Oil Spill

I was a bit surprised at the announcement that there is going to be a remake of the movie, Twilight. The studio has finally gotten a true star to play the part of the vampire--Count Chocula. Now the movie makes sense because no girl could resist the chocolaty charms of count Chocula. The werewolf has been replaced by, yes get ready for it, Frankenberry. I would have no problem going to see this movie at the theatre. It finally makes sense. I can understand how a girl would have a tough time choosing between those two handsome leading men. I predict that this movie will be a major blockbuster. This is one romantic movie this dog would love to see. In addition to winning Bella's heart (that is the girl's name, isn't it?), they could win her tummy too. I know that works good for us dogs. If I like the food, I tend to like the human who gave it to me. My prediction is that Bella will choose Count Chocula because chocolate is usually more popular than strawberries. At least that is what I have surmised in listening to the humans talk. I do predict that both of the men are in trouble if a new guy shows up with chocolate covered strawberries. However, that is unlikely to happen because, when a studio has to pay the kind of exorbitant salary required by stars of the calibre of Count Chocula and Frankenberry, I doubt that they will want to run the movie budget up more by adding yet another high priced star.

I am going to add that my blogs, as usual, are important. I wrote a blog on May 24, entitled, "Greatest Secret Agent and Master of Disguise" about Perchival Potato Head and the whole Potato Head clan. Today, the Internet news was covering the big story on Elvis Potato Head. Yes, this dog likes to write about the most relevant, up to the minute, information available. On a personal note, Burger King put cheese on my last burgers which is unacceptable. Fast food cheese does not meet up with my culinary standards. I wonder how that piece of Demon Flash Bandit information missed the news desk. They must have been busy with some other story and they missed a big news item. In addition to writing news stories, I also like to offer solutions to big problems. The oil spill in the Gulf is a big problem at the moment. I wouldn't have allowed them to drill unless they knew how to fix a potential leak. However, even though they didn't check with me in advance and now it is a big problem, this dog has, once again, came up with a solution. Everybody can pull their cars on the beach and fill up their tanks directly from the Gulf. The cars get free gas, the gulf get cleaned up, and it is a win/win situation for drivers and clean up crew. It is a shame the humans can't come up with practical ideas like us dogs do. I guess I'll have to run for President again, and this time, they had better include me on the ballot.

Demon Flash Bandit (Would Actually Be Willing to See the Twilight Remake)

Sometimes Trix are for Tricky Dogs

I was watching television the other day, and I saw a commercial for Trix cereal. It seems a rabbit wanted some of the cereal. When I was a puppy, the humans had a black and white Dutch bunny named Flash that was already 10 years old when I came here. He was a very cool rabbit who preferred Royal Gala apples, and I used to share his rabbit food--particularly his yogurt drops and his dried mangoes. We were close pals. I didn't really understand he was a rabbit. I thought he was a small husky like myself. Anyway, when I saw the Trix rabbit on the commercial, I knew that the Trix cereal must be tasty and delicious if a rabbit wanted it. There were some annoying kids on the commercial telling the rabbit that he couldn't have any Trix because Trix are for kids. I was ready to get on the phone and call the Humane Society to report those naughty children when the rabbit got a taste, and said sometimes they are for tricky rabbits. I'm so glad he did. I made Mommy buy me some Trix because if they are good for a tricky rabbit, I'm sure this dog will love them too.

Demon Flash Bandit (Trix Are For Dogs Too)

Poppin Fresh'--My Pal

This dog enjoys a good dessert so I invited my pal, Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy for a visit. I knew he could bake some tasty items for a dog to enjoy. We were sitting around having some cookies, and talking. He was relating his life experiences to me because he wants me to write his biography. I can't understand why his biography isn't already on the book shelves since he is such an iconic character. He told me about his early life when he was just a little cookie, and how he grew up to become the dough boy. He once met the Gingerbread Man, but he said the Gingerbread Man wasn't particularly nice. I will take his word for that. It does seem like a cookie that runs away from the human that made him can't be very nice. Since he eventually got eaten by a fox, I suppose he would have been happier if he hadn't run from the little old lady. He has met the Muffin Man, but they tend to have different schedules so they have never spent much time together.

Poppin' Fresh never expected to become such a star, but the nice folks at Pillsbury were so impressed with him that he has been their spokesdough for years now. He has quite the fan base, and even has a store selling collectibles. With all his accomplishments, he says he is still just plain dough. I am so pleased that he would ask me, his pal, to write his biography. After a couple of hours, we watched a bit of television--he loves the Food Channel. The best thing about writing his biography is that I will get to spend a lot of time with him, and he has promised to bake me some special dog biscuits the next time he drops by--Burger King flavor. I am so excited! Then this finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the tummy. Why is that finger always following him around? I'll have to wait until his next visit to ask him about that.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who is Pals With Celebrity Doughboy, Poppin' Fresh)

Marmaduke

Mommy went to see the movie, Marmaduke yesterday, and she said it was an excellent movie. The acting by the cast of dogs was truly amazing. She thinks it should get the Oscar for Best Picture, but you know that won't happen because the humans would never give the Oscar to a movie about dogs. I have to wait to see the movie when it comes out on dvd because normal, non-service dogs aren't allowed in theatres. I told Mommy I could pose as a service dog, but she said no one would believe a service dog is pulling a human into the theatre. Then she laughed. I didn't see anything particularly funny about it, but I think most humans have an odd sense of humor.

Sometimes I see things in the news that a dog just has to blog about, and yesterday was no exception. I wasn't able to write yesterday because Blogspot would not let me sign in. I wondered if it was part of a vast conspiracy on Blogspot to keep a dog from posting his thoughts to share with the world, but that is a different subject, so I'll save it for another time. Today I want to concentrate on the subject that needs input from a dog--school lunches! Food is always a subject near and dear to a dog so you can understand how this is a top priority subject for me. Most school lunches are not cooked at school anymore, and some of the adult humans are upset that there are things like chicken nuggets on the menu. They think it should be healthier food. I did my research for this blog by asking my family about school lunches when they were children. Mommy said when was young, the school cafeteria actually cooked the food. The food back then was more nutritious, and she said when you passed by the cafeteria when she was young, the smell could drive you to lose lunch that you haven't eaten yet. Her mother would have welcomed chicken nuggets because she used to volunteer at the school a lot and her observation was that most of the lunches ended up in the garbage. What are they doing to do to make them healthier, serve the children tofu and bean sprouts? I don't think I'm wrong in stating that if a dog won't eat the lunch, chances are you won't get a child to eat it either. We dogs think humans worry about things too much. Very few dogs worry about how much nutrition we are getting from our food. If it tastes good, we eat it. This leads me to wonder, why do the humans get so obsessed with these subjects. I think it is because some of the humans have a hard time admitting that there are things beyond their control. Illness and accidents are beyond their control so there has to be a reason for them--either it was what they ate or they weren't careful enough. This makes the healthy ones feel better because nothing can happen to them--they ate a healthy meal. Sure, try to eat healthy, but I think the humans would be happier if they quit worrying about everything so much. Maybe a bit of thanks for having enough food might be in order. There are children in the world who don't get enough to eat. By the way, Angel Zoom Smokey says if the kids don't want the chicken nuggets, send them to her--she loves chicken.

Demon Flash Bandit (Marmaduke--It is Worth the Wait)

Police Dogs--To Serve and Protect

As you already know, there are many dogs that have exciting careers in law enforcement. Some of them work for the police department, and some have private security gigs where they guard individual property. I have noticed that police dogs never carry guns. If you ask this dog, that is scary--trust the silly humans with a gun, but don't let the dog have one. The discrimination against dogs never ends, does it? However, I'm not here to make a political statement about police dogs not being allowed to carry guns. I am writing this to thank those wonderful brave dogs who have made it a career to go out and get the bad guys so that the rest of us dogs can happily take a nap or eat a pig's ear. Thanks for your efforts. I always rest easier knowing a dog is on the job.

Demon Flash Bandit (Thanking Police Dogs for Their Service)

I Do Not Wear a Tin Can

I know many of my fans have asked me why I turned down the role of Iron Dog, but did you see that outfit? I had to refuse the role because this dog does not dress in a tin can. They managed to find a human who was willing to play the part, and it has become a successful franchise for him, but I stand by my original decision. I will never wear a tin can just to play a role in a movie.

I have a serious problem to report in this blog. Mommy often brings Angel Zoom Smokey and myself fortune cookies when she goes to the Chinese restaurant, and my fortune said I should expand my business so I assume I am supposed to become a more serious writer. However, Angel Zoom Smokey's cookie was missing its fortune!!! I wonder how often this happens. Sure, Angel ate the cookie and said that it didn't really matter. However, I could see the sadness in her eyes and sure, it could have been because the cookie was gone, but I have to think not having a fortune might have had something to do with it. What does it mean when you don't get a fortune in your cookie? Is your future so bad the cookie can't even talk about it? Do you not have a future? Did the cookie baker perhaps just miss putting the fortune in the cookie? (How likely is that?) Is Angel Zoom Smokey at the forefront of some massive plot to cheat customers out of fortunes? Just to be safe, I shared my fortune with her. I wouldn't want to see anything bad to happen to her. Now if only we can figure out what business we are supposed to expand......there are so many.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Could Be Iron Dog if I Were Willing to Wear a Tin Can)

Burger King--Burgers For Royalty and Dog Toys for Children

Burger King, the wonderful restaurant that makes my favorite hamburgers is now giving out toys with their children's meals and they are dogs from the movie, Marmaduke. I am so pleased with Burger King's good taste-both in making my delicious burgers and in promoting a wonderful dog movie. Mommy has yet to see the movie, but I'm sure she will see it soon. What human could pass up seeing a movie with dogs starring in it? Sure, a few of the stupid humans with bad taste won't see it, but who cares what they think? I know I don't.

It is about time I blogged about the greatest food ever served to dogkind. It is only appropriate that their mascot is a king because their burgers are good enough for royalty--unlike one of their competitors that chose a stupid clown to promote their company. I feel it is wrong to mention names, but if I had to choose between a burger that a king likes and one a clown likes, there would be no contest. You know the king is going to get the best burger. However, I do enjoy the ice cream and bacon at the clown's restaurant so they aren't all bad. This dog is not picky when it comes to ice cream except that I prefer it in a sundae cup. One time Mommy dipped it out of a regular ice cream container, and I refused to eat it. I do not like to be given cheaper alternatives. Anyway, Burger King, you have the Demon Flash Bandit seal of approval, and I have a cool photo of myself wearing one of your crowns and eating one of your burgers that you can have for advertising if you would slip a dog a couple of extra burgers. We don't have to tell the humans about the deal......I don't want to share.LOL

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Burger King)

Royal Snakespearean Theatre---Snakes on a Plane

Today's blog is dedicated to giving credit to a lot of hard working actors and actresses from a movie made in 2006, and that movie is Snakes on a Plane. This dog is not a fan of snakes, and neither were the passengers on the plane which had more snakes than human passengers. I know many of us aren't fond of snakes, but does this mean that they shouldn't get credit for their accomplishments? I think not. Therefore, this dog is going to give them credit for their contribution to that movie. Three of the snakes in the movie were nominated for Oscars in previous movies. Veronica Viper was nominated for her work in Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Bob Boa was nominated for that classic scene in Romancing the Stone. Connie Cobra was nominated for her wonderful performance in the movie, The Scorpion King. Sadly, although they did receive nominations for an Oscar, none of them actually won an Oscar which I suspect is because of the continuing prejudice against snakes by members of the Academy. I might add that all the snakes that were in the movie were well respected by their peers since all of them are members of the Royal Snakespearean Theatre. For those who are into classic theatre, you should see them in Hamlet. When the snake who plays Hamlet asks "to slither or not to slither, that is the question", I have yet to see a human actor who can put so much passion into the line. Sadly, despite all the snake talent, Snakes on a Plane suffered from the humans' prejudice against snakes, and if not for that prejudice, I'm sure the movie would have sold more tickets than the Titanic. I am glad that I could give the snakes their well deserved recognition even if I don't want to meet up with one of them personally.

Demon Flash Bandit (Giving Snakes on Snakes on a Plane Proper Credit)

Ice Blanket-Wonderful Invention

Mommy brought home a product that this dog truly loves. It is called an ice blanket, and when it comes out of the freezer, it makes a dog feel like he is spending a day in Alaska. I'm sure there are some dogs who won't appreciate the cold, but if a dog is a Siberian Husky, like myself, cold is something we love. Mother Nature is not being very cooperative with the weather now. It isn't like those lovely days in January when there is snow on the ground, and a dog can get cold just by stepping outside. Now the temperatures have gotten hot and I'm not a fan. Sure, I put up with heat, and I always spend a lot of time thanking that wonderful human who invented central air conditioning, but it just is not like a wonderful day in January. The ice blanket was meant for ice chests and coolers, but Mommy puts in in the freezer and when it gets super cold, she lays it on me while I am resting, and I LOVE the feel of the ice. I think it is a touch of heaven right here on Earth. It is supposed to be non toxic, but Mommy only puts it on me when she is around just in case I decide to eat it and it isn't non toxic.

I saw in the news that a fellow dog, Snoop Dogg, is President of the Serious Pimp clothing line. It is good to see a fellow dog do well. Most dogs who are successful usually have to turn to show business--like DJ and Cody who played Demon in Snow Dogs. Daddy had to have a blue eyed husky who looked like Demon after he saw Snow Dogs which is how I came to live with my humans so I have to say that I am so grateful Disney made that movie. However, a dog does like to have more career choices than being a movie star. I think that opens the door for dogs like myself to be taken more seriously in the world of business. Sure, show business is great, but not all dogs want to chase a chuckwagon through the kitchen. Some of us have bigger plans.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday, and before I conclude this blog, I have a few important things to share with my readers: arf, bark, howl, yap, yap, arf. Yes, it is nice that the humans can't understand dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers Cold Weather)