Saturday, June 26, 2010

Water Cooler Crisis, and Dumpster Diving

There is a crisis at my house. Okay, maybe crisis might be a bit of a overstatement, but my nice water cooler has sprung a leak, and Mommy has to go out and buy me a new one. The reason that it is a crisis is that, as all the humans know, the best gossip and news is passed around at the water cooler. It happens to be a well documented fact. Large companies will not make major announcements until the "rumor" has been "documented" at the water cooler. This is the real reason that BP didn't so anything in the Gulf for so long. Evidently, the word didn't get out at the water cooler. This is why I use the word crisis for the situation. Sure, some humans might say, big deal, there is a bit of water on the floor, clean it up, but what if the roof is falling in and no one knows because there is no workable water cooler to let everyone compare notes? I know some of you may ask, doesn't having a piece of plaster hit you on the head become a clue that there might be a problem? Sure, it is a hint, but a dog could just think someone is having a plaster fight. You know it is serious if the problem is confirmed at the water cooler. Believe me, when my human brothers were young, their dad showed them how to have White Castle fights. For those of you who don't know what White Castles are, they are little hamburgers that come in little boxes. The southern equivalent is Krystal. Anyway, when they brought the burgers home, my 3 brothers and my dad would throw the little boxes at each other. They had a surprisingly good time while Mommy wondered if all males have fun doing stupid things. By the way, the answer to that is yes, they do. How else do you explain hockey? The ice they play on is COOL, but the rest of the game seems pretty pointless to this dog.

Sometimes a dog has to comment on the human news. I saw an article today about Sarah Palin speaking at a university in California, and she was insulting some of the students who "dumpster dived" to get information about how much she was paid. First of all, this dog is insulted. I happen to enjoy going through the garbage, and so do many of my doggy pals. I take this as a personal insult to my integrity as a dog. It does make me realize that neither political party seems to understand much about money. I really don't care what they pay Palin to speak, but the university is a public university getting public funds, and they are strapped for money. Having her is supposed to be a fund raiser, but you only raise funds if the fund raiser costs less than the amount brought in. Those students are having to pay for the education so I would have dumpster dived to find out how much she was being paid too. If it is reasonable, why is she trying to hide it? Otherwise, I don't care how much people are paid. Movie stars--sports matter, if they bring in enough cash, they are worth what they are being paid. I might add that the university could have solved the whole problem by buying a shredder which costs less than $50.00. Maybe Palin should buy a truck load of them and donate it to each place she speaks so that no one would find anything in the garbage. I think Ms. Palin needs to relax and accept that if you are in the public eye, things like that will happen. Someone should explain to her that people do go through celebrity trash. In fact, I've seen some people going through regular trash rescuing items. If you ask this dog, Palin needs to be introduced to reality.

Demon Flash Bandit (Upset Over Water Cooler, and Defending Dumpster Diving)

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