Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Leading the Packing

In answer to my readers who have been asking about my presidential campaign and how it is going, this blog is a campaign update.  I am in the lead on cuteness I will get 100% of the cute vote.  That comes as no surprise to anyone that has seen my photo and the photos of Hilary and Trump.  My campaign also wins votes for the best slogan, Leading the Pack.  Hilary has the second best slogan, I am already familiar with the White house.  I think that Vote Trump and make America a Dump is a horrible slogan.    It is as if he isn't even trying.  I will give him points for honesty.  Usually the human candidates lie a lot of the time.  I promise the voters to build more community dog parks, better dog food inspection, and insure that dogs are tax deductions for the humans.  Be sure and vote for me to be president.  Thanks for your support!

Demon Flash Bandit (Candidate)

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Pokemon Go Away

Recently a new game is popular with the humans
and that game is called Pokemon Go.   Am I the only dog who has never seen a Pokemon?  Do Pokemons hide from dogs?  This new game encourages the humans to get exercise.  I think that dogs are too smArt to ruin a good nap to chase after something that probably  doesn't exist.  It isn't like it is a game of Squirrel Go.  I am confident that the game is harmless for dogs.  However we are dealing with humans-not dogs.  Humans are in danger when they are playing.  They get too involved in the game that they pay no attention to their I surroundings.  I think this game was invented  by those evil birds that. I complain about.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

McDuck Dynasty

I don't know how many of  readers watch McDuck Dynasty on television,  For the benefit of my readers who have never seen the show,  it is a reality show about the McDuck family.
The patriarch of the family is named Scrooge McDuck.  Scrooge is a very wealthy duck.  He has a nephew, Donal, who often babysits for  his sister Dumbella's 3 sons, Huey, Dewy, and Louie.  The show is meant to be seen by families.  However, I wonder why Scrooge pays for coats and hats when he doesn't buy any pants.  I can't recommend letting small children watch.the show unless you want to have to explain why they have to wear pants when  the McDucks wear none.  Maybe i.n the future Scrooge will buy pants for family.

Demon Flash Bandit (McDuck Tales)

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Movie Review creed

The movie, Creed, is the latest in the Rocky universe.  Apollo Creed's son is following in his famous dad's footsteps.  Since Apollo is deceased, his son goes to Rocky Balboa for training.  If you like the Rocky movies (with the exception of Rocky 4 and 5) this is a must see movie
  I give it four paws  up, and it would be a refrigerator in the human ratings system.  .  Yeah, the humans have a weird ratings system.  I recommend this movie.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Friday, July 15, 2016

Today I was strolling through the kitchen when I spied with my  blue eyes an opened package of Keebler coconut dreams cookies.  Since they were sitting at the edge of the table, I assumed they were for me so I helped myself.. There were only 2 cookies left so the greedy humans got to them first.  They are delicious. Keebler elves spend their time in hollow trees bsking cookies meant for dogs. This is why dogs must be very vigilant in guarding trees.  Humans will steal the Cookies. Don't let a human eat your cookies.


Saturday, July 9, 2016

It is Hard to be a Dog

Today. I write my blog with a heavy heart.  I love my humans. And I have taken great pride in my human obedience training methods.  Usually, they are good humans who do what I command.  I have even considered writing a book on the subject so that other dogs will also have well trained humans.  I know that humans have limits on what they can learn, but a well trained human will seldom embarrass their dog master.  I know all my readers will understand my frustration when I discovered that my humom had ordered a cute little house meant for a bird from Amazon.  I had to do something because, if she put it outside, a bird would move in.  I would be laughed at by every dog in the area.   I had to take drastic measures to protect my reputation.do I started chewing on it.  Being a dog is hard work!

Demon Flash Bandit (Trainer)

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Movie Review: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

The movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, is now available on DVD and bluray.  It continues the story of the Portokalas family in the first movie.  In  this film, Toula and Ian and have a daughter named Paris who is a senior in high school.  Paris wants to attend college in another state, but her family wants her to go to a local college.  Meanwhile another family member is getting married.  There weren't any exciting events in this movie, but Mom and Angel gave it Angel wings and a halo.  I felt the money for the bluray could have been better spent on a dog movie.  Dogs always make the best movies!  The cast from the original movie returned for the sequel which was nice.  I got bored and slept through it which is a good thing for he-man dogs like me.  It is more of a chick flick. This is why I gave it a must nap rating.  I thing the word rating can be traced back to a Greek word-ray which is a furry rodent, and "ing" which signifies that the rat is alive.   In ancient Greece, rats were prized  for their fur.  All the Greek women wanted a rat fur coat.  I do appreciate the household miracle item from the movie-Windex.  It is helpful to know that Windex will fix anything. It gave me a genius idea to make bone money.  I will buy an old car at the junk yard, spray it with Windex, and sell it at a much higher price.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Monday, July 4, 2016

Animal Planet Gets Disgusting Programming

Recently I discovered that Animal Planet has a live video stream featuring puppies.  A couple of days ago, it was featuring puppies wearing costumes.  Two were dressed as sharks and 2 were dressed as alligators.  They were so adorable, it was like looking at a smaller version of myself in the mirror.  I am sure I don't have to tell my readers that all dogs are beautiful. One of the gators kept losing his little costume which was adorable  If I'm not mistaken, the puppies were up for adoption.  Occasionally they show a different stream when there is technical difficulties which I suspect involves a clean up crew.

When technical difficulties occur, the network goes to another group of puppies which is okay.  Several  days ago, I was watching and the other puppy feed came on.  Then the network left the puppy camera and switched to kittens and their mama cat.  I am okay with cats, but I heard some dogs were highly insulted.

When they left the kitten camera, they switched to a live cam of birds!   I have no words to describe my disappointment.  I don't want to see birds on television unless it is an episode of Cops, and the birds are being arrested.

I thought the birds were bad until the next group came on.  It was a bunch of roaches running around.  I was disgusted.  I was ready to start a letter writing campaign to Animal Planet to keep such filth off the network.  Sometimes I like to chew on a bone while I watch tv, and I do not like for them to feature roaches while I am eating.  Did you know that roaches are officially animals?  I had no idea.  I thought they were bugs.  Even the humans try to get rid of them, and pet supply stores do not carry roach food.  Does Animal Planet think anyone is going to adopt one as a pet?

This is the time I changed channels.  I decided that fleas and mosquitos might be next.  I wasn't taking that risk.

Demon Flash Bandit (Television Viewer)