Friday, November 30, 2012

Batmobile: The New Demonmobile

I am so excited that I can barely sit here and write this blog.  The Batmobile from the original Batman television series will be auctioned soon, and this dog would look great driving the Batmobile.  Of course, I would change the name to the Demonmobile.  I think that is a catchier name anyway.  I've needed a cool car to drive around in because I happen to be one super cool dog!  I'm sure my humans will be happy to buy it for me because they must realize how much a dog of my standing in the blog community needs a famous car.  I am only concerned that I might hear my humans start with their usual excuse about not having enough money to buy me a car.  It really is not a valid excuse because I have asked the Big Dog, SantaPaws to bring me enough money to pay for the car.  I've heard those stupid lack of money excuses in the past, and the Batmobile is far too important for a dog to pass up due to lack of funds.  If you see a dog driving a Batmobile in the spring, you'll know it is me cruising around in my new ride.  For those who want to read more about the auction, and see the car that this dog is planning to buy, here is the link:

I hope all my readers have a wonderful weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs Batmobile)

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Bonuses: A Reward for a Good Job

Today I have decided to write about the insanity of many of the humans who run large businesses.  Case in point:  Hostess.  The executives at Hostess have taken an iconic American company and ruined it.  I know it is popular for management to blame the workers, but considering that the human who was called in to help restructure the company, Gregory Rayburn, is being paid $150,000. a month; I don't think it is hard to see where the company's money is going.  The executives also want a bonus in addition to the money they make.  This dog thinks it is stupid to give executives who are in charge when a company goes into bankruptcy bonuses.   I'm a dog, and I know you can buy a lot of dingo bones with $150,000.  I'm not even sure I would have time to eat that many bones in a month. I bet they have other perks too--like unlimted free dingo bones, and tennis balls.  Don't get me wrong--I don't really care how much the executives make if the company is doing well, and the workers are paid a living wage, but I am very tired of reading about all these people at the top who care so little about their employees, and who expect to be rewarded for doing a bad job.  I'm not saying that sometimes a company does not fail due to bad luck or bad timing, but even if it isn't an executive's fault, he should not get a bonus.  I've discussed this with other dogs, and all of us think the humans who allow that are stupid and possibly insane.

When my humans can't get the snacks they enjoy, they will become grouchy, and that will not be pleasant for the family dog (or dogs).  Therefore, I think that, in addition to not getting bonuses, all perks should be cut off.  Let those executives buy their own dingo bones and tennis balls!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bonuses Should be "Earned")

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Movie Review: Life of Pi

The movie, Life of Pi, is an excellent movie about  the adventures of a young man, Pi Patel, whose family owned a zoo.  When the zoo needed to be shut down, his family sold the animals and left India to move to Canada to start a new life.  The ship that he and the animals were sailing in went down, and it is the story of his survival on the ocean along with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker.  I thought the animals in this movie were delightful.  That is the story Pi tells, but the real story is a bit more complicated.  Pi was really a chocolate cream pie who was trying to avoid being eaten.  He hooked up with the gingerbread man, and they sailed on a ship to avoid the humans who thought they looked "delicious".  There was a shipwreck and the pie and the gingerbread man had quite an adventure trying to keep from being eaten by sharks and, of course, the possibility of spoiling in the hot sun.  I can't tell you if they made it or not, but you can watch the movie and see for yourself.  I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail wag, some kisses, and some doggy slobber--those desserts did look good!  It is a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale.  Be sure and have some snacks available when you watch this movie if watching food makes you hungry!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Pre-Dinner Syndrome

Today I saw an item in the news about military dogs who are suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome).  I'm glad that some veterinarians are taking this problem seriously.  Some of the military dogs are very heroic and deserve our admiration and help.  I know how hard it is to suffer from problems like that.  I personally suffer from PDS (Pre-Dinner Syndrome).  That is when a dog gets hungry and it is not offically dinnertime.  The only cure for that is food, and I've found the best method of getting said food is counter surfing.  It is not only a sport, but also a medical treatment.  A dog can do it himself and does not have to bother the humans--in fact, letting the humans know you are counter surfing is not recommended.

Demon Flash Bandit (Hungry Dog)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Christmas With the Howling Huskies!

I'm looking around the house, and the Christmas tree is not up yet so, of course, there are no presents under it with a name tag declaring they belong to Demon Flash Bandit.  I know there is still time, but I've known my humans since I was a puppy, and I find it best not to assume that they will get things done on time.  Therefore, I plan to bring in a tree the next time I go outside, and I'll get some birds, kill them, and use them as decorations on the tree.  Just thinking about it makes me fell all emotional--a tree with a bunch of dead birds--I can't think of anything prettier.  Just to make sure the humans do their part and put my presents under the tree, I have called an emergency concert of the Howling Huskies, and we will be singing Christmas music.  I know everyone  will enjoy the old favorites:
Humans roasting on an open fire cause they didn't get the dog a bone.
Grandma got eaten by the dog because she didn't get him a gift.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer--He is drunk again this year.
Frosty the Snowman is yellow because the dog peed on him.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland to get the dog a bone.

I'm sure that even the humans won't be able to resist getting into the Christmas spirit when they hear these songs.  I bet there will be lots and lots of presents for me under the tree after the concert--if the humans know what is good for them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Christmas)

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Make a Christmas Wreath

Today my blog is an informative one telling you how to make a lovely wreath for the holiday season.  For this project, you will need a bunch of regular rawhide bones, some milkbones, a dingo bone, and peanutbutter.  Be sure and have your humans get you all the supplies before you start.  With these supplies and a bit of time, you can have a wreath hanging on your door that will make Martha Stewart envious.  Here are the directions.

Putting the wreath together is very simple.  You want to make it round like a circle so you take the regular rawhide bones, and use peanutbutter to hold them together in a circle.  Then you, again using peanutbutter, "glue" the milkbones to the rawhide bones.  You provide the finishing touches by putting the dingo bone "bow" on the wreath.  When you are done, you will have a beautiful wreath.  I'm sure you want to know how many people have admired the one I made.  I would have to say, zero.  Everytime I make one of these wreaths, I end up eating it before I can hang it on the door.  However, it is nice when a craft item ends up being so delicious.  Many projects do not taste as good as they look.

Demon Flash Bandit (Making Christmas Decorations)

Saturday, November 24, 2012

George Washingdog

My humans did not take part in  "Black Friday" shopping.  Mommy said that there is enough insanity out there on normal shopping days so she stayed home which was great with Angel Zoom Smokey and myself.  After reading the news, I can see why she has that attitude, and it is wise--some of my intelligence must have rubbed off on her.  According to news reports, a man went shopping with his girlfriend's baby, left the baby in the car, and then called a friend to pick him up forgetting the baby in the process.  Of course, he remembered the big screen television.  I guess we know where his priorities are.  From what I understand, the baby is okay which is good.  I can see why Mommy does not want to deal with those kinds of humans, and why she chose to stay home with us dogs.

I have decided to write about some famous Americans in today's blog.  I am going to start with the father of our country, George Washingdog.  I bet you didn't know he was a dog, did you?  Let's face it, a human could not have accomplished so much in his lifetime.  He was a surveyor who measured land--can you think of a more perfect job for a dog?  It is a job where you are out in nature, and you get to enjoy marking territory.  That job has "dog" written all over the job description.  He also led the continental army against Britain, and was smart enough to use new battle tactics like surprising the enemy instead of marching up in a line.  You know a dog had to think of that too.  If you tried to chase a rabbit in a straight line, you would fail because rabbits do all kinds of crazy zigzags.  You'd think they don't want to be dinner.  He became the first President of the United States which is an honor that is alluding modern dogs thanks to the humans' jealousy.  They know we do a much better job running things than they do.  When you see George on the one dollar bill, he may look human, but that is because the humans have altered his appearance over the years so that he looks human.  It is yet another government conspiracy to keep dogs from being in power.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing George Washingdog)

Friday, November 23, 2012

Pharaoh Builds Pyramids

I had a great Thanksgiving.  I hope my readers did also!  I'm sure that many of my readers are planning their shopping trips today.  I can only remind you that, when you go shopping, be sure and get lots and lots of stuff for the family dog.  I don't care if my humans get me dingo bones on sale today (if they are on sale), or if they pay full price (because it is worth any amount of money to make me happy).  As long as the dingo bones are here for me, I'm happy!

Today there is a headline in the news which asks, "is Egypt ruled by a Pharaoh again?"  Since I sometimes share the entries of my ancient Egyptian pal, Gahiji, in my blog, I will answer that question for the humans.    Gahiji is not only an ancient Egyptian dog, but his human, Habibah, had a job helping to build the pyramids.   The answer is, if you see pyramids rising from the desert sand, then the Pharaoh is back.  If not, he is just a modern Egyptian ruler.  The building of the pyramids is what separates a Pharaoh from a normal ruler.  It is a shame that the humans can't find the answer to this one on their own, but they usually always have to get their answers from dogs.  They just don't like to admit it.  It is a shame that the humans have to have their dogs do all their thinking for them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Answer Dog)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thankful for Dead Birds

I had a good Thanksgiving today.  My humans had the good sense to get my hamburgers yesterday because the restaurant was closed for Thanksgiving.  How do they expect a dog to eat if they close the restaurant?  I'm so glad that my humans are smart enough to think of things like this ahead of time so they can prepare in advance so a dog has dinner.  They had the traditional Thanksgiving pizza that most humans in the United States eat on Thanksgiving.  This is a tradition passed down from the first Thanksgiving when the Native Americans ordered pizza  for the Pilgrims who did not have telephones, and they didn't know the phone number of the local deli.  If not for the Native Americans, those European Pilgrims would have starved which is something they probably regretted a century or so later.

My humans got our pizza at the local store that stays open on Thanskgiving, Jonna's in Howell, MI.  I am mentioning their deli because they have the only pizza my human orders that Angel and I will share with them.  I am not fond of pizza, but I like the ham and bacon toppings on Jonna's pizzas.  If you live in this area, I would suggest you give them a try because they make a good pizza.  By the way, I am not being paid to suggest their store, but I'm doing so only because this dog will actually eat their pizza, and I am one picky dog.  Therefore, I like to share information like this with my readers.

I hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving and thanks to all the humans who ate turkey.  I am always pleased to see a holiday dedicated to killing birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Thanksgiving)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Today I am going to discuss a television mini series that my human was watching on television yesterday.  That mini series is called The Triangle.  I realize that, to do a fair review, I should watch the item that I am writing about, but just the name was enough to make it impossible for me to watch.  The Triangle has to be a show about geometry, and this dog is not about to waste my time watching a program about math.  I was a bit disappointed that my human was watching it since, to be honest, I know that she is not the kind of human who enjoys geometry.  She said it is about the "Bermuda" triangle, which is supposed to make it less boring.  Who is she kidding, if she wanted to win me over, it should have at least been an "acute" triangle because at least those triangles are cute.  I suppose that they will be making sequels that this dog is not going to watch either:  The Square, The Pentagon, the Rectangle, etc.  There is even a prequel in the works called Two Parallel Lines.  Mommy said it was a good program, but I don't believe her.  I bet she slept through it and just thought it was okay because she did not actually watch it.  I think all geometry related television shows and movies should be cancelled before they are started.  In fact, my brother is watching television as I write this, and I'm doing my best to keep from listening.  He was watching a program that talked about the speed of light, Einstein, and physics which this dog wondered why anyone would watch.  Now he is watching a different program, and I've heard several different things mentioned---ancient China, some ancient game, chess, strategy, and VietNam.  I think it is time for this dog to stop writing and go into the other room where I won't be able to hear what my brother is watching.  A dog could be scarred for life by such programming. 

By the way, it is my birthday so I am wishing myself a happy birthday.  Since I got ham for dinner, and some new toys, my wishes have come to get off the computer so I won't hear the horrible programming coming from the living room.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birthday Dog)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Movie Review: Lincoln

Lincoln is a movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln, and Sally Field as his wife.  The story revolved around the struggle to get a constitutional amendment passed to banish slavery in the United States before the Civil War ended and the southern states returned to the union.  This was a problem for Lincoln because, every day that the war continued cost more lives, but if the amendment was not passed before the war ended, the war would have essentially been fought in vain.  Therefore, I'm sure he was emotionally torn because of that.

I have to admit that I was expecting a movie about a talking car like the movie Cars.  My humans have owned a Lincoln Continental so I just assumed that it was about a talking car.  I also assumed that since Mater does the voice of Larry the Cable Guy  in Cars that the south would be represented by a couple of pick-up trucks with southern accents.  When I heard it involved a war, I assumed that it would be a war between luxury vehicles and working vehicles.  However, I was wrong, and the movie was about an actual historic event.  I bet it would have made more money if it had been about vehicles.  Hasn't Hollywood yet realized that the humans don't want anything that might accidentally teach them something?  How else do you explain Carrot Top?

Despite its educational value, it was a good movie and this dog felt sorry for Lincoln because it must have been a difficult time to live through.  I give the movie 4 paws up, a couple of tail wags, and some kisses.  The acting was very good, and I would not be surprised if Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't get an Oscar.  Also, Spader did a very good job as a supporting character.  This movie gets a 9 1/2 out of 10 on the human movie scale.  The best thing about historical movies is that you can brag about how much smarter you are after you leave the theatre.  Of course, if you are a human, no dog is going to believe you, but you can try saying it anyway.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Life in the Stone Age

I'm sure I'm not the only dog who wonders what life was like in ancient times.  I'm so glad that there are documentaries on television that a dog can watch to see what it was like in the old days.  My personal favorite and probably the most accurate is The Flintstones.  This is the true story of a family who lived during the cavemen days.  They were named Fred and Wilma Flintstone, and they lived in a cave style house in what was a nice neighborhood of other cave style houses.  I guess those cave stone house plans must have been very popular back then.  The documentary also includes their neighbors, Barney and Betty Rubble.  Fred is employed as a bronco-crane operator at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company which, at that time, was probably a job that one could get without a degree, and, judging from their lifestyle, it paid a decent wage.  Fred enjoyed bowling and he belonged to a men's club, the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.  Wilma was a homemaker who enjoyed shopping with her best friend and neighbor, Betty Rubble.  If you listen to some of the less accurage historians, you would think that life was hard back then.  However, the Flintstones had all of the modern conveniences that most humans enjoy today.  They had dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, and even cameras.  The women even shopped using charge cards like today-and I bet some of my readers thought they were a more recent innovation.  The only hard part of life back then was that they didn't actually have dogs.  The humans back then had to rely on dinosaurs that acted like dogs.  I'm sure that, if dogs had been sharing their homes with them, they would have been a lot happier.  Dino, their pet dinosaur, was nice, but petting a dinosaur is not like petting a modern dog.  We have soft fur, which makes the humans feel good.  For those of you who want to know more about ancient history, I suggest you watch this television documentary series.  It is informative and entertaining.

Demon Flash Bandit (Meet the Flintstones)

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Movie Review: Skyfall

I have been asked by my many readers to review the new James Bond 007 movie, Skyfall so, in this blog, I will do so.  The reason so many of my fans  want to know my opinion of the movie is that I was a spy myself for so many years.  I can talk about it now because I am retired, but I used to have to keep it quiet.  I was one of the human government's best spies in the war against the evil birds.  I started my spy training as a wee puppy.  It was just a couple of months after I was born, and an agent came and got me and explained the mission.  They needed a cute, smart puppy and I fit the description.  Of course, I have to pass some tests first to make sure I had the intelligence required, but when I did better on the tests than most humans (which is not hard), they were thrilled to have me on board.  However, I am writing a movie review of Skyfall, not an autobiography although I'm sure my readers would find my life story particularly interesting to read so I will get back to the movie review.

Skyfall stars Daniel Craig as James Bond (wouldn't his name be cooler if it were James Bone--all the dogs I've asked agree), and Judi Dench as M.   The "villian" in this movie is someone from M's past-someone who has a major grudge against her.  He uses his advanced computer system to cause problems and to release information that is damaging to the secret service.  That is when James Bond goes after the villian to stop him from releasing more damaging information.  As usual, there are a lot of action scenes, but they are a bit more believeable in this movie.  Some of the Bond movies in the past have had action scenes that would have been difficult to pull off, and probably quite painful yet Bond never seems to have any ill effects from those stunts.  NOTE:  I bet he has a stunt dog like my Phantom Fast Snowman who does the actual stunts).  As a spy for a few years, I can tell you that it is dangerous work, but it is rewarding.  Everytime a bird was captured or executed, I felt that I had done my duty as a dog.  Those birds would have already taken over the planet if it had not been for brave dogs like myself who kept an eye on them.  In fact, I was so good at the job that I was given the coveted Husky Bird Hater Award.  Even looking at that medal still brings a touch of pride to my heart--knowing that I was an important part of keeping birds from taking over.    Anyway, the movie was a more realistic spy movie than the past Bond movies, and I give it 4 paws up, several tail wags, and a kiss.  I also give it the Husky  Realistic Spy Movie Award.  I always enjoy hearing him say, "The name's Bone, Ham Bone...okay, he said Bond, James Bond, but Ham Bone would be a much cooler name!  The movie gets a 9 out of 10 on the human movie scale. 

The next time you see a dog who has been a bird spy, thank him for his service.  Thanks to him, you aren't walking around with bird poop on your head!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Saving an American Institution!!!

Dogs, I have a mission for you.  Hostess Bakery, the company that makes Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Ding Dongs, among other items is having serious financial problems and might not continue operating.  This would have tragic consequences because this company provides much of the necessary junk food that keeps the humans happy and enjoyable to spend time with.  If you have ever been with a human who is on a diet and eating "healthy", you will know what I mean about this having tragic consequences.  It makes them incredibly grouchy.I personally do not want to live with grouchy humans.  I don't think any dog does.  Even cats find them annoying, and cats don't usually care about their humans' moods.

Your mission is to go to the telephone and order at least one truck load of goodies delivered directly to your house.  I think that, with all the extra truck loads purchased, the company should start making enough money to continue operating.  Even if the mission is not a success, a dog can enjoy the products.  Yes, I have sneaked a few of these items myself, and I can tell you that they are better than dog food.  Your humans will thank you for providing them with so many delicious treats, and until they see the bill, they will be very, very happy!  That is the advantage of being a dog....just be extra cute when they get the bill, and make sure they have had plenty of Hostess cakes to eat to insure they are in a good mood.

Demon Flash Bandit (Saving Hostess)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

My Search for Big Foot

In the past week, I wrote about a television network giving away a lot of money for the person (or dog) who finds Big Foot.  I think I will be claiming that prize very soon.  I started my hunt for Big Foot in a very scientific and logical way.  Sure, I could check the telephone book to see which shoe stores in my area cater to those with large feet.  However, there are a lot of those stores throughout the United States, and you know that some shoe salesman is going to try to claim the prize.  How do I find Big Foot without going to the shoe stores, and beat the salesman to the money?  The answer is quite simple for a genius brain like that of most dogs.  I signed  up for a website that gives away shoes to people with big feet.  Now all I just have to wait for Big Foot to get on his computer, sign onto the Internet, and claim  his free shoes.  Once he does, I will have enough money to keep me in bones for the rest of my life.  You would think the television network would have thought of doing it, but I do think they are run by humans, and humans just don't have the genius brain of a dog!  Yes, it is sad for the humans.

Demon Flash Bandit (Genius)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Romantic Getaway for Dogs

I have good news for dogs who are in the mood for romance.  An 8 story hotel for dogs is located in Brazil.  For dogs who like to travel, it sounds like a perfect place to take your sweetheart.  It is called Animalle Mundo Pet.  Although the spa with the Japanese soaking tub is something I would probably skip as being a bit too much like a bath, some of the other features sound wonderful!  There is beef flavored beer, meat flavored muffins, grooming, doggy perfume ($40.00 a bottle), and canine apparel that a dog can purchase if the dogs likes to dress.  They even offer artificial insemination for the dogs who want to have puppies but don't want to get them the old fashioned way.  It is about time the humans opened a romatic getaway for their dogs.  I might add that I'm sure it is worth every penny it costs.  After all, when you are spending money on the family dog, there should be no limit.  We are worth every penny that is spent!  Here is the link for the dogs out there who want to reserve a room:

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Travel)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Angel and Demon's Candy House

One day Demon Flash Bandit and Angel Zoom Smokey were enjoying a walk through the woods.  They made sure they could find their way back home by dropping a trail of bread crumbs left over from Demon Flash Bandit's hamburgers (he usually does not eat the bread).  They did not realize that their arch enemies, the birds, were eating the bread crumbs as they walked so that they ended up lost in the forest.  Since they were brave Siberian huskies, they continued walking knowing that eventually, they would probably find their way home.  As darkness came upon the forest, the cold did not bother them...they like cold weather.  However,  their tummys were beginning to rumble so they could not believe their luck when they reached a house made of gingerbread and candy.  Demon Flash Bandit was particularly happy because he really loved candy.  They started eating the house, but they had no way of knowing that the house belonged to a bird witch who liked to lure dogs to the candy house and then eat them.  Of course, being dogs, they were hard to fool so both dogs knew that she was evil and that she was up to no good too.   They continued eating the house because they were hungry, and a house made out of gingerbread and candy does not come along everyday--usually you just find miniature ones during the Christmas holidays.  Of course, the bird witch, being a bird, was stupid and had no idea that the dogs knew what she was up to.  The dogs waited until she was not expecting it, and they threw her on the barbeque grill and enjoyed grilled bird witch.  Now the house is all theirs and they frequently go into the forest to munch on their candy house.  They found their way back home after they finished eating the bird witch, and their humans were so glad to see them.  Now when they visit the candy house, they leave rocks to mark the path.  Birds do not like to eat rocks!  The two dogs lived happily ever after!

Demon Flash Bandit (Owner of Candy House)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Good Vegetables: Candy Corn!

Vegetables:  how many times have the humans tried to force a dog to eat them?  We dogs want meat, not vegetables.  The same is true for children.  I don't think they prefer meat like dogs, but most of them definitely do not want vegetables.  This is why today's blog is a public service to get dogs and children to eat their vegetables.  I got some vegetables yesterday that were delicious, and I'm sure other dogs and children will agree.  They are called candy corn, and the candy corn does not have that annoying vegetable taste.  In fact, they taste like candy which is probably why they are affectionately called "candy corn".  The next time you need to get a dog or a human child to eat their vegetables, make sure the vegetable is candy corn, and you'll be amazed at the cooperation.  You'll wish you had fed them candy corn sooner!

Demon Flash Bandit (A Good Vegetable)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

No More Papa Johns Pizza for Me

I read in the news today that the CEO of Papa John's Pizza--John Schnatter plans to cut employee hours because of Obamacare.  He wants to make sure everyone knows why their hours are being cut--so he won't be required to pay for employee health insurance.  As a customer, am I supposed to be upset because he has to pay for something for his employees that many employers already cover without the government making them do so?  In the long run, those customers end up paying for the health care anyway because when low income workers without insurance get sick, the taxpayers end up picking up the bill.  I guess  Schnatter thinks that everyone has to buy his pizza.  Considering that most restaurants and retail stores have trouble hiring enough workers, it sounds like the customer will be getting lousy service, and I'm guessing he will be forced to go up  on the price of his pizza too.  It sounds very convenient to me--cut labor costs and go up on prices and blame the government instead of the company's individual greed.  I plan to help this guy out by not buying pizza at his establishment in the future.  It isn't like I will be doing without pizza...he has lots and lots of competition in my small town alone.  Perhaps if enough humans think like this dog, we can do him a big favor and put him out of business.  I don't know about everyone else, and I'm not saying Obamacare is wonderful, but this dog is tired of the humans running businesses constantly complaining about their income.  Perhaps if they worked for minimum wage for awhile, they might actually learn to be grateful, and this dog would not have to read their whining on the Internet.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Future Customer of Papa Johns Pizza)

Friday, November 9, 2012

Royal Shopping Trip With Dog

Today I have to commend Kate Middleton for having the good sense to take her dog, Lupo shopping with her.  This is something that the humans should do more often.  Considering how stupid the humans are, they need their dogs with them to keep them from buying stupid stuff.  I can't tell you how many times I have looked at what a human has bought at the store, and said to myself, "myself, this human just threw away money on a totally useless item".   Kate and Lupo were spotted shopping at the London Burlington Arcade which sounds like a fun place to shop--maybe they are able to play video games while they shop.  I know that would be a definite improvement on the shopping experience.  I bet Lupo made sure that Kate bought a bunch of dingo bones, and treats.  That is one of the smartest investments a human can make at a store.  Ask any dog, and you will get the same opinion.  Regular rawhide bones are okay, but dingo bones are the best!!!  As a dog who does not like to wear clothes, I do approve of the fact that Lupo was not dressed, but I hope that it wasn't because Kate is being cheap with the dog.  As long as Lupo has outfits at home which Lupo does not choose to wear (like myself), it is okay.  However, it is wrong for the humans to ever be cheap with their dogs.   I am going to share the link so you can see how cute Lupo looked at the arcade.

I only hope that the royal family listens to Lupos' wisdom in running the country.  A dog should always be a government's top advisor!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Like to Shop)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Movie Review: Wreck-It Ralph

I went to see Wreck-It Ralph, and I was very pleased with the movie.  Ralph lives in a video arcade game, and he is supposed to wreck everything in the game.  Felix then fixes the things Ralph wrecks with his magic hammer.  Of course, this makes Ralph feel bad because he is always the bad guy, and the characters in the video game don't like to have him around so he sleeps in the dump by himself.  Naturally, he gets tired of being the bad guy so he decides to sneak into another video game so that he can get a medal showing he is a hero and then return to his game and receive the respect he deserves.  However, his main talent in life is to wreck things, and when he goes to another video game, he causes problems for all the other games in the arcade--and threatens to have them all shut down.  He ends up in a candy game and meets a new friend, Vanellope.  Vanellope's dream is to race her own car and maybe in helping her, he will learn what a true hero really is.  I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail wag, and a kiss which is an 8 1/2 out of 10 on the human movie scale.  You don't have to play video games to enjoy this movie because I'm not a video game player myself.  They do not make the controls of video games dog paw friendly.  This is a good movie for all ages.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My Concession Speech

For those of you who have read the news, I was not elected President.  It is a sad day for dogs everywhere.  I know all my supporters are upset that I did not get elected.  However, I think Obama will do a good job, and being President would cut into my naptime so I wish him well.  I also know that he has a dog so I'm sure that Bo Obama, first dog,  will make sure that he knows the dog point of view on all matters.

I did celebrate election day by having some treats.  I had some of those delicious "dots" candies that I enjoy so much.  Sure, they aren't Mike and Ikes or Swedish Fish, but they are candy, and I always feel the need to celebrate occasions like election day with candy.  I don't just have a sweet tooth--I have a whole mouth full of sweet teeth.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a pleasant day, and don't worry, I'll probably run for President again in 4 years.  This dog does not give up easily.

Demon Flash Bandit (Concession Speech)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Vote Demon Flash Bandit!!!

This will be a short blog entry because I have to get ready and go to the polls to vote for myself.  Yes, this could be one truly historic election--one in which a dog takes charge of the United States, and finally does things the way they should be done.  The humans always make such a mess of things, and it is always up to their dogs to fix their blunders.   I have really had the human candidates worrying about their status.  This is why both parties are doing so much last minute campaigning.  They have been running scared ever since I tossed my tail into the ring.  It is going to be a lot of work to fix all their mistakes, but this dog will do so, and still have time for naps.  That is because we dogs are so much better at everything than the humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Presidential Candidate)

Monday, November 5, 2012

Grizzly Bear Attack

Tragedy has struck at the Animals of Montana facility, a place that trains animals for photographers and filmmakers which is located near Bozeman, Montana.  A young man who was cleaning the cage of the grizzly bears was killed by the bear (or bears).  These are very photogenic, normally well behaved bears who killed the human.  I think I can explain why this happened.  First of all, you are dealing with bears who are "stars".  They are in films, and are admired by audiences.  What happens when the film is over?  The humans cage them up like they are animals.  I'm surprised Yogi Bear has not spoken out on this except he is probably too busy stealing pic-a-nic baskets so he does not have time.  To add insult to the bears, they send a human in to "clean" their cage.  I'm sure the bears don't mind maid service and don't want to clean the cage themselves, but you know how it is when you have a place decorated the way you like it, and some stupid human comes and ruins your hard work.  I know how this feels since I have been a victim of it myself.  I had a spot where I had 40 little ice cream "cups" hoarded in case the ice cream magically filled up in the cup again.  Just last week, one of the humans found my stash and threw all of them away without my permission.  They were my treasures, and as usual, the humans think they know best.  I think the humans should respect our homes and our treasures.  I bet those bears had some honey stashed away, and the humans thought it was garbage.  If only the humans would realize that grizzly bears do not like to be bothered, maybe the tragedy would never have happened.  The bears did not ask to be stars.  I bet they were perfectly happy hanging out in the forest and not being caged.  No one comes in to clean out the forest and bother their stuff. 

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Grizzly Bear Attack)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

10 Million Dollars for Finding Bigfoot

Who couldn't use some extra cash particularly during the holiday season?  Spike TV is offering a great way to get that money.  If you find the legendary creature, Big Foot, you get 10 million dollars.  I don't think I have to tell you that I could buy a lot of treats with 10 million dollars.  I would even share it with my humans because I love them.  I am really excited about this because who better to sniff out Bigfoot than a dog?  The humans can't smell their way out of a paper bag, but we dogs have an amazing gift with our noses.  I just hope that, if a dog does find Bigfoot, that his human doesn't try to cheat him out of it and claim the prize for himself.  That happens all the time with us dogs and it isn't right!  For those dogs reading this who want to know more about this endeavor, here is the site:

Another interesting offer comes from South Africa.  One town is offering a free cell phone for every person who brings in 30 rats.  This seems like an offer that would be perfect for a cat so I think a lot of South African cats will be owning their own cell phones in the future.  I wonder if the cell phone companies will be nicer to a lion or tiger with a customer complaint.  Those customers might not be as polite as the humans.  For the cats reading this who want to try their luck at earning a new cell phone, here is the site:

I want all my readers to know that, when I see things in the news that might benefit my readers in any way, I do share the items.  This is because I am a good dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Special Offers)

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Milkbone Standard

Since the presidential election is close at paw, I decided to use this blog to talk about something that is important to most of the humans--the economy.  As a presidential candidate, I'm sure that many of my readers are wondering how I would handle the economy.  If I am elected, there will be major changes, which I think will benefit everyone--both human and canine, and yes, even felines.  The humans have the money based on a "gold standard" which is quite silly since gold, although shiny and nice in jewelry, does not have any real purpose for survival.  We dogs refer to the gold standard as the "shiny standard" since, sadly, many of the humans are mesmerized by shiny things.  We dogs have more intelligence and sense so we don't really get excited over gold and/or silver.  Therefore, I would base the economy on the "Milkbone standard".  All transactions would be gauged over their worth in milkbones, and all food would have more value than metal.  This makes more sense because, next to oxygen and water, food is the next necessary item for survival.  It is even more important than shelter.  By the way, I would give Milkbone's marrow bones a higher value than regular milkbones because I think they are super delicious, and they have a Siberian Husky on the box. 
Of course, there are other issues-the most important of which is getting along with others.  The humans tend to get into fights with each other over really stupid stuff.    I would put an end to much of that by making sure that dogs of various humans take over and start running the household for the humans.  Then most arguments would involve food, and very little else-unless a couple of male dogs are fighting over a cute female.  Those arguments are solved very quickly without involving most of the world.  In fact, often the neighbors don't even know about the argument.
Now that I have summed up my opinions of various important political matters, I am going to stop writing and take a nap.  I also have a strong opinion that a dog needs to take a lot of naps.  I would pass laws to make napping necessary.  Some of the humans can really use a nap--they are so grouchy!

Demon Flash Bandit (My Political Opinions)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Movie Review: Cloud Atlas

This movie is a very complicated movie spanning different time periods and lifetimes.  It shows the impact that one person's life can have on another across time.  This is a long movie, and as I was watching it, I realized that one major problem with this movie was the lack of dogs.  Then a dog came on, and I thought, "finally, a dog to make this movie great".  However, the dog was killed almost immediately, and I did find that very annoying.  Of course, the dog's owner did open up a can of "whup tail" on the man who killed her dog so that made the movie okay with me from the dog's viewpoint.  I might add the dog's performance was outstanding.  The film stars Tom Hanks and Halle Berry.  Many of the actors in this film played so many roles that it must have kept the costume and make up departments busy.  All the actors did a good job in their various portrayals.  I particularly liked the theme song for the movie, and I think it went along well with the whole "connections" idea.  It used the tune of that old bone connection song, and the lyrics went something like this:
The movie studio is connected to the box office.  The box office is connected to the bank.  The bank is connected to the let's hope this film makes a lot. 
Of course, they could have been a bit more subtle in their approach, but since the real object of most movies is to make money, it is pleasant to see such honesty coming from a business.
To really understand this movie, I suspect it would help if the viewer watched it more than once--and it would also help the bottom line of the theme song"  to make a lot of money!
I give this movie 4 paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the humans movie scale.  For those who like to think (which would rule out most humans), this movie could become highly annoying because it does get a bit complicated and might make their brains hurt.  I do recommend that you view this movie.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

MY Candy!!!!!!!

Today I have good news.  Since we only had 8 trick or treaters come to the house last night, MY candy supply is still intact.  Of course, my humans don't refer to it as my candy, but I do because, in my opinion, it is MY candy.  In fact, I had a new strategy last night in my continuing effort to keep the little human moochers from getting my candy:  I blocked the door.  Yes, when my human brother tried to go outside with the caldron of candy, I was at the door before he was.  This is a definite advantage for a husky because I can run a lot faster than the humans so all I had to do was to anticipate which door he was going to try to use to escape with the candy.  Finally, he did not give up as I thought he would, and he made it outside which I found very annoying.  When I put my paw down and bark that it is MY candy, the humans should respect my wishes!  Now my mission is to try to get my paws on the remaining candy.  Fortunately, I am a very clever dog, and I am always devising new ways to get what I want.  Most dogs would give up, but not us Siberian Huskies.  I take the mission of getting candy just as seriously as those dogs who got the serum to the kids in Nome, Alaska, years ago and became heroes.  If they were anything like me, if they had been promised candy, they would have gotten there even sooner.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Candy)