I'm looking around the house, and the Christmas tree is not up yet so, of course, there are no presents under it with a name tag declaring they belong to Demon Flash Bandit. I know there is still time, but I've known my humans since I was a puppy, and I find it best not to assume that they will get things done on time. Therefore, I plan to bring in a tree the next time I go outside, and I'll get some birds, kill them, and use them as decorations on the tree. Just thinking about it makes me fell all emotional--a tree with a bunch of dead birds--I can't think of anything prettier. Just to make sure the humans do their part and put my presents under the tree, I have called an emergency concert of the Howling Huskies, and we will be singing Christmas music. I know everyone will enjoy the old favorites:
Humans roasting on an open fire cause they didn't get the dog a bone.
Grandma got eaten by the dog because she didn't get him a gift.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer--He is drunk again this year.
Frosty the Snowman is yellow because the dog peed on him.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland to get the dog a bone.
I'm sure that even the humans won't be able to resist getting into the Christmas spirit when they hear these songs. I bet there will be lots and lots of presents for me under the tree after the concert--if the humans know what is good for them!
Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Christmas)