Sunday, June 27, 2010

New "Water Cooler"--Life is Good

I am happy to report that Mommy went and bought Angel Zoom Smokey and myself a new "water cooler", and this one is even bigger than the last one. This one holds 2 1/2 gallons of water. Now life can get back to normal and us dogs can solve world problems while hanging out at the water cooler again. I hope most large companies have more than one water cooler so that if a leak develops, they can still make major company decisions. BP definitely needed more than one because when their water cooler happened to spring a leak at the same time as their oil well in the Gulf, they were unable to make any corporate decisions because there was no water cooler around which the executives could discuss the problem. Now that the water cooler is back, there are several new ideas to fix the problem in the Gulf of Mexico. One of their highly inventive employees suggested adding truck loads of vinegar to create oil and vinegar salad dressing. I don't mean to be critical, but I think it is a different kind of oil that they use in the dressing. Dick Cheney called and suggested they send all the animals covered in oil to Guantanamo Bay because he says they are behind the leak. He says it was an elaborate plan to steal the oil. Why do you think he is in the hospital? He got shot by an angry pelican, but the government doesn't want the general public to know because it would cause panic. Pelicans do not take being accused of stealing lightly. When birds get guns, this dog gets upset because those evil birds have been stealing my snow and trying to take over the planet by causing global warming for years now. For those who have not read my theory, why do you think the birds show up and start singing just when the snow starts to melt? Coincidence? This dog is not buying it. So far, the best idea was mine to have cars drive up on the beach and fill up their cars with oil. As usual, the humans never listen to the wise advice of a dog. They like to keep trying their own silly ideas. By the way, if you think the pelicans are getting bad, be sure and avoid the swordfish--they are aching for a duel.

My town, Howell, Michigan, is having a Balloonfest this weekend. The hot air balloons are always fun to watch, but I have a suggestion for them to make it better. They should drop dog biscuits from the side of their balloon. All us dogs think this is a brilliant plan. They do have America's Best Frisbee dogs as entertainment, but I think dropping dog biscuits from the balloons would assure them of a larger audience of dogs.

I hope my readers are having a wonderful weekend, and let's hope that the leak in my water cooler is not some kind of national conspiracy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy Dog With New "Water Cooler")

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