Friday, June 25, 2010

My Latest "Project"

The weather has been hot here which is not acceptable to this dog. Some people say that you can't do much about the weather, but I do not think this is true. I think the humans could build a giant dome around the planet and air condition the whole place. That way a dog would not get hot when he has to go outside. Sure, it might cost some money, but that is what money is for. If you don't spend it on something useful, it just sits there and does nothing. If there is one thing this dog does not like, it is lazy money hanging around and not doing anything. I have told the money in this house that if it doesn't "pull its weight" around here, I will spend it all on dingo bones. In fact, I might spend it all on dingo bones anyway. They are infinitely more fun than money.

I have been watching television, and I have noticed that the humans who have nice, in ground pools seem to be happier when it is hot so I got out the yellow pages, and ordered a pool for the humans. It is a surprise, and I'm sure they are going to be so happy with me for watching out for them. It is much easier to have a backyard pool than to have to walk all the way to the neighborhood beach. I ordered one of the nicer ones. This dog does not like to be cheap. I have no idea why some of the humans are so cheap. I once asked one of them about it and they started talking about money not growing on trees. I have to admit I quit listening since the last time I looked, the money is paper, and paper does come from trees so I think some of the humans must be really stupid. Besides, I am saving lots of money on the pool by digging the hole myself. I just have to keep my humans out of the back yard until the pool is in or they might think I am trying to dig a hole to China. If they happen to see the hole, I am going to tell them that I am digging a hole to China. Where else do you expect to find the best Chinese food? The humans can't argue with that kind of logic. Okay, they can argue, but they won't win. They can't expect to win anyway---they are arguing with a dog who has superior intelligence! I bet the humans are going to be so thrilled with the new pool. I'm sure the bill won't matter since they are going to have so much fun.

Demon Flash Bandit (Making Life Better for the Humans--Thousands of Dollars at a Time)

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