Bird Hit Dog--Perfect Job for Demon Flash Bandit

Imagine my interest when I saw that an airport in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is willing to pay a lot of money for someone who can get rid of birds around the airport. Birds cause a lot of problems for airplanes so they think it is worth paying a "bird killer". As a Siberian Husky, I think Florida is a bit too hot, and they never have any snow, but I could keep the air conditioner going for such a perfect job for me. I like to think of myself as a "bird hit dog". I don't like birds, and I don't trust birds, and I think I could make sure the airport was bird free. I'd like to make the whole planet bird free so it is a job that I would be proud to do. It would also solve that problem of whenever I ask for something cool I see on the Internet that a dog would love to have, my human tells me that I have no money. Recently I wrote a blog about an animated zombie dog that was only $5,700. and I was planning to buy it and use it on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters away from my house. Every year those little deadbeats come by wanting a dog's candy. The humans, being stupid humans, give the children candy that could be eaten by the family dog if the humans had any sense at all. This is why it is great that I can get a job doing what I do best, and get enough money so that a dog can buy whatever he chooses to buy. Asking the humans for money isn't right--dogs should have their own stash of cash. To show that I am not just making this up, here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/you-can-make-dollar76000-a-year-scaring-birds-in-sunny-florida

In the future, I expect that my blogs will be coming to you from Florida.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hit Dog)

Why Make a Cats Musical?

Mommy decided to watch the first and second season of the television show, Fringe. I noticed that the alternate parallel universe is superior to our universe. For those who have never seen Fringe, the alternate universe is similar to our own, but it has some differences. Notably, there is a scene with Olivia riding in a taxi which has an advertisement on top of the car for the musical, Dogs. I have no idea who came up with the idea of the musical, Cats, but I really don't see the point of paying to see a bunch of cats on stage. I'll admit that dogs might not want to be singing and dancing on stage, but if I were a human, I would prefer to see a bunch of dogs over a bunch of cats. I don't even mind cats, but they are still cats--an inferior animal to a dog. I've never seen Cats, but I doubt if they even show them doing the only thing cats do that wins my approval--killing birds! If cats could sing, would people refer to bad singing humans as sounding like a cat being run over....okay maybe that is just me, but I'm sure once I've written it in my blog, it will become a common thing for the humans to say. When something is bad, the humans say it looks like something the cat dragged in which indicates that cats do not know what makes the humans happy. Yet, the humans go and waste good money on a musical starring cats. If you want to see a cat musical, just go to an area with a bunch of feral cats, and listen to them yapping at night. At least you don't have to pay to see that one. It does make one wonder if our universe is really a good place to live when another universe has the good sense to show the musical, Dogs. That is a musical that is worth the price of the ticket!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers "Dogs")

I Own a Siberivarious Violin!

Strativarious violins have been considered the best violins ever made. As a dog who is a violinist, I'm sure you are thinking that, with all my dog talent, I must own a Strativarious violin. Of course, I always want to have the very best violin available to me in my paws so you might be surprised to learn that my violin is not a Strativarious. It is a much more expensive violin which is a Siberivarious. It is made by Siberian Huskies, and you know it has to be the best because dogs always do things better than humans. From the first time it is played by the paws of one of the talented huskies who made it, it brings sweet music to the world. Since I'm a blogger, I am fortunate that I can buy such a priceless item. Mommy says I make no money from my blog, but I'm sure I must be a cazillionaire by now. Humans aren't usually good in math so you can't trust them with numbers. Other dogs who read my blog have told me that I must be super rich to have such a successful blog. I can't disagree with them. Anyway, that is how I could afford such an expensive violin. I've got to go now, and play my violin. There are so few hours in the day for us talented dogs to use all our talents!

Demon Flash Bandit (Siberivarious Violin Owner)

Were Founding Fathers Cartoon Characters?

I had to check out a new smell in Mommy's purse yesterday. It was one of my favorite of the human smells--that of money. Yeah, Mommy actually had some of the green paper United States currency in her wallet. I was looking through the bills and I realized something interesting about the "founding fathers" of the United States. They are all cartoon characters! I first noticed it on the $20.00 bill. It has Andrew Jackson, and I was amazed at how much he looks like that alien, Roger, from American Dad. The American Dad creators could have used Andrew Jackson as the model for Roger....put a wig on Roger and see if you don't think he looks like Andrew Jackson. This caused me to examine other bills to see if there was a pattern, and sure enough, there was. George Washington, on the $1.00 bill looks like the Tasmanian Devil. The $5.00 bill has Abraham Lincoln, and don't tell me that he does not bear a striking resemblance to Daffy Duck! The $10.00 bill is supposed to be Hamilton, but I think it is Foghorn Leghorn. The $100.00 bill has Porky Pig on it even though it is supposed to be Benjamin Franklin. The $50.00 bill which supposedly has Grant is actually Elmer Fudd. Perhaps it is a coincidence, but I suspect that there is more to this than the mint wants us to know. Either our "founding fathers" were cartoon characters or the cartoon characters were drawn to look like them. I do think that cartoon character founding fathers would explain why so many people elect stupid people into office. They have been trained to do so because they think the politicians should be cartoon characters! No wonder it is so hard for a dog to win an election....we are way too smart to be taken seriously!

Demon Flash Bandit (Political Observation)

Movie Review: Prometheus

Today I am going to do a movie review of Prometheus, which is the reason I did not get to write a blog yesterday. I was busy going to the theatre. Before I get into the movie review, the film company ran this horror movie "short" that has a man and he turns into a bird. My regular readers who know my thoughts on birds, can imagine how scary that was for me. I almost got up and left the theatre, but I stayed because I know how much my readers depend on my movie reviews. Prometheus is the prequel to the movie, Alien, which came out many years ago. It is about a couple of historians and scientists who think that aliens came to Earth years ago, and left an invitation for the humans to come and see them. Personally, I think they were silly because if they had the advanced technology and they had helped to create the humans, you would think they would stop in and see what is going on with them, or maybe they aren't around anymore. Either way, this dog would not waste time and money going to see them. Of course, if the characters in the movie thought that way, there would be no movie so they didn't see it the way I do. Anyway, they made it to the destination, and you'll have to watch the movie to see what happens when they get there. I really don't care if this spoils the movie or not, but I do have to give out one spoiler alert. After all the money, time and trouble to get there, they found that the line in drive thru at McDonalds was even longer than the ones on Earth. All that way for a fast food meal and they still had to wait. This caused a lot of tension among the characters in the movie.

I give this movie a tail wag and a couple of paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale. Considering that I hated the Alien movie, then that is actually a stellar rating from me. I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Demon Flash Bandit: Dog Needs Toilet Tank Aquarium!

In my last blog, I mentioned a cool product I found on the Internet that is a toilet tank and an aquarium all in one. I think this is not only a cool product, but a product that a dog would find very entertaining. As I predicted, when I told Mommy I wanted her to order one and have it installed (and I didn't insist she put it in both bathrooms even though that would be a great idea), she told me that the ones in those bathrooms are working just fine, and she sees no need to spend money to replace things that work okay. At least she did agree that it would be cool to have one which makes her a lot more intelligent than some of the other humans--one of which called it (and I quote) "silly". I would order it myself, but it seems that a dog does not get paid for writing a blog (yeah, it seems crazy to me too--I've read some of the blogs written by humans and they aren't even interesting). Anyway, I had one of those moments when a lightbulb goes off over my head. It didn't hurt that I was sitting under a light fixture when it happened, but I knew that I had solved my problem of getting the fish tank toilet. All I have to do is ask my readers to send me money. Here is the address:
Demon Flash Bandit
United States
I'm sure that will be enough for the post office to get the money to me. I'm sure all the humans know who I am, and are probably jealous of my many, many postings which are always better than anything they could write. I am sure that, with all the money coming in, I'll be able to put aquarium toilet tanks in both bathrooms. Mommy said that there are more important things to give money to--like people who are starving and homeless, but I say that if you give a dog a fish toilet, he will be entertained for at least a week. I think that makes donating to my cause far more important than all the other causes out there. Remember, I need to watch fish when I'm laying on the bathroom floor, which happens to be one of the cooler spots in the house in which to lay. Being a husky, I always check to find the coolest spots!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Needs Your Help)

Demon Flash Bandit at the Michigan ComicCon!

I am a lucky dog. I went to the Michigan ComicCon yesterday. I didn't want to be mobbed by my adoring fans so, since many of the humans dress in costume, I dressed as Superdog; and I was able to enjoy the show just like a regular dog. They had no idea that the famous blogger, Demon Flash Bandit, was among them. William Shatner has done the same thing so I am in good company. I got a couple of pawtographs, and I looked around. The toys they sold there were a bit of a disappointment. With the exception of a few items like a Brian the Dog figure (from the television show, Family Guy), most of the toys weren't interesting. When I look for toys, I'm looking for squeaky toys or balls. I don't want to play with miniature "human" figures. Humans are boring and do boring things so why would I want to play with human figures? What can I do with a human action figure? Let it go to work to make money.....it seems like that is all most of them do with their lives. Since work does not seem to be fun, I have no idea why the humans spend so much time doing it, but I can only assume it is because they aren't dogs. If they were dogs, they would be smart enough to sit at home and nap instead of working.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Attended MI ComicCon)

Newt Gingrich Should Be On The Moon!

Newt Gingrich is in favor of establishing a colony on the Moon. Personally, I don't think it is a good idea. I'm not saying that there won't be colonies on the Moon and other planets in the future, but at our present level of technology, I don't think it is a fiscally responsible idea. It would cost too much money. I would not be surprised if, in the future, it is possible, but that does not mean it is cost effective now. However, I do think that, since Gingrich thinks it is such a wonderful idea, that he start the colony himself. I think that many people would be willing to donate money to send him to the moon. I know I would. If he can take all his present and past wives with him, I think there would be enough people to start a decent sized colony. What if there are some moon creatures living on the moon that we can't see from Earth, and the Moon landing team didn't meet? Perhaps they won't mind Gingrich turning the moon into a state, but perhaps they won't be keen on the idea. I think the best place for Newt is the Loony Bin, but I'm not sure if there is enough room since us dogs think most of the humans are crazy--particularly those running for office. They "run" for office, yet all they do is stand around. I don't think they know what the word "run" means. I guess I will have to run for the Presidency to show the humans how to run as only a Siberian Husky can!

By the way, if they do establish a Moon Colony, do you think the cow that jumped over the Moon will become a member of the colony--just wondering.....

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Not Going to the Moon)

Detroit, Michigan--Virtual Police Station

Today I am going to share a news article from Detroit, Michigan with my readers. In the future, the city is going to try out the new concept of a "virtual police station". At the moment, this "virtual" police station will have some actual humans working there, but actual humans require actual pay. It won't be long until an accountant tells the city that they can hire virtual workers and save money. This leads me to a whole new situation. If a city is protected by a virtual police force, how long will it take before the criminals decide to go "virtual" too? Let's face it, if criminals were hard workers, they would not be criminals--they would get jobs. Therefore, the idea that eventually, they would decide to start sitting at their computer to commit "virtual crimes" will become a reality. This is important since some of the humans are spending a vast amount of money on "virtual items" which means that everyone will have to be watching their games to report any "virtual crimes" when they happen. Can you imagine how horrible it would be if you don't play Farmville for a couple of weeks and come back to discover all your farm equipment has been stolen? I think this is an alarming trend which should be stopped. Let's tell our local governments that we want real policemen--not virtual policemen--except for traffic cops. Since I haven't got my doggy driver's license yet--I don't want to get in trouble if I take the car for a drive!

Demon Flash Bandit (Real Dog--Not Virtual Dog)

Dogs Make Best Financial Consultants!

After reading this item on yahoo.com, I realized it is time for some financial advice from me because when you need financial advice, you should always consult a dog! Look at what a mess the humans make of the economy when you let them make decisions! Here is the address so you can read more if you choose to do so:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/india-tycoons-got-tons-cash-064653323.html

The story is about a billionaire in India who can't invest his money. This is the big problem with the humans--they don't seem to understand that money is paper. Don't get me wrong--it is paper that will buy you food at a drive-thru restaurant, but I certainly would not enjoy eating it as it is. Its main purpose is to buy things that a dog wants like food, treats, bones and toys. Personally, I am a big investor in dingo bones. They are delicious and chewing on them is a great way to spend your spare time. Of course, there are plenty of other good investments-gift certificates to McDonalds, Wendys, and Arbys, milkbones, beggin strips, Yummy Chummies, Zukie jerky etc. I will admit that you don't tend to get more money back from these investments, but some of the humans make investments they lose money on, and at least with these investments, a dog can enjoy them until they are gone. I am thinking of starting my own investment advice website to help the humans who seem to invest in really silly things. I can look around the house and find lots of stupid investments. For example, I hate the vacuum cleaner, and since a house only needs to be vacuumed about once every five years (at the most), it is a total waste of money that could have been spent on something more sensible like a bird house/guillotine. (For those who may not have read my past blogs--I hate birds.) It is a shame that more dogs aren't in the financial services industry, because if we were, things would be different. In fact, for sheer pleasure, a free stick is one of the greatest things you can own!

Demon Flash Bandit (Financial Advisor)

Amazon.com Located in Amazon Rain Forest!

I have a new conspiracy theory that I discovered myself. There is a news item on the Internet today about Amazon.com hiring temporary workers for some of their warehouse locations, and the people who work at many of these jobs live in RV parks. I am going to share the item so you can read it for yourself.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/welcome-to-amazon-town.html
I know it sounds okay--they have warehouses all over the United States, and they are not located in the Amazonian rain forest. I think that is what the company wants you to think. I stand by my earlier blogs about the workers going through the jungle to get to work. I'm not sure why the company doesn't want to disclose their actual location, but my theory is that it is because another company might try to do the same. Now Amazon is big, but what is Sahara started a company in the desert. I'm sure they could sell sand and make a lot of money since they have it in abundance. Anyway, no matter what the reason, this dog is not easily fooled, and if I wrote that they were headquartered in the Amazon, then that is where they are headquartered. Perhaps they have a few warehouses in the United States as decoys. I can even understand the need for decoy locations. Those space aliens are probably always insisting that the free shipping should include other galaxies. The space aliens can be so annoying when they are trying to be cheap. Anyway, no matter what you read, remember, if you want the true story, come to Demon Flash Bandit for the facts.

Demon Flash Bandit (Amazon Headquartered in Amazon)

The Muppet Movie: Liberal Propaganda

Thanks to Fox Business Channel anchor, Eric Bolling, I am now aware that The Muppet Movie is liberal propaganda brainwashing children to hate the upper class. Since I have yet to see this movie, I am glad that I was able to read his comments before I waste my money going to see the movie. Who would ever think that Tex Richman could be a man who is only out for money? I have always admired large corporations for their generosity and their caring. Whether it is overpaying their employees (heaven knows that minimum wage is annoying for a company to have to pay) or collecting government subsidies to hire people they need, life for the average billionaire is tough. What a shame the liberals are always making them look bad! Doesn't the liberal media know that life is hard for billionaires? Does a billionaire not bleed green ink when he has to take some money out of his bank account? Does he not feel pain when another company makes more money than he made? Does he not worry that when he dies, he can't take the money with him? I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that I will go and see The Muppet Movie. I also want to state that I do not hate the oil companies--the car does need gas to go and get me food, treats, and toys. However, many companies are greedy and uncaring, and that is what this dog does not care for. I remember reading a story about a rich man who did so well that he said he would tear down his barns and build bigger barns. Then the "Big Guy" said, tonight thy soul shall be required of you...what will a man give in exchange for his soul? I think that many of the rich corporate people would not know how to answer that question. I am sharing the link if you want to read more details:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=687868

Puppy Pads For Sale!

It turns out that one of the humans has paid $8,000 for underwear worn by Kylie Minogue. I'm not sure who she is because I have never heard of her, but she still sold her used underwear for a lot of money. This gave me an idea. I am quite sure that I am more famous than she is, and I think I'm a lot cuter! If the humans are willing to spend that kind of money for her underwear, I can only imagine how much money I would make if I wore underwear and would be willing to sell said underwear! Since I am a genius (for those of you who missed it, I did win a genius award from the humans), I came up with a plan for making myself a lot of money for dingo bones. I am going to get some puppy pads, and pee on them. I'm sure my puppy pads will bring me a fortune to spend on dingo bones and other treats. Would I buy a used puppy pad? Of course not, but I'm a dog and we dogs have more sense. I wouldn't spend $8,000 on anyone's underwear--not even new underwear for myself!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Another Genius Plan)

Money: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore!

A couple in Florida have a dog named Tuity who ate $1,000 in cash. Then they fed the dog hydrogen peroxide to make the dog vomit the money back up, and sent the pieces to the Department of Treasury for replacement. I feel bad for the dog being forced to drink hydrogen peroxide to throw up. I can guarantee you if Tuity had something like roast beast from Arbys, Tuity would not have had to resort to eating money. Money was a stupid thing for the humans to feed Tuity because money is not edible unless Tuity is a termite. Perhaps the couple thought they had a pet termite instead of a dog! It would have been cheaper to leave some decent treats laying around for Tuity. Anyway, I think if the humans are going to start feeding their dogs money (and I do not recommend this as a diet option), they should at least face the consequences and not induce the dog into vomitting so that they can get their money back. If you ask me, this is a stingy couple who needs to learn where the treat section of the store is located!

Demon Flash Bandit (Money--Not Edible)

Money Saving Hint

I'm always reading things on the Internet about how to get good deals to make money go further. However, other than using less electricity, there aren't many ways to cut the electric bill. I don't think I have to tell everyone that electricity is something you need if you want to use a computer or technology or even have lights in your house. When it is regular merchandise, you can often get it on sale, but electric companies never have sales where you can use more electricity and you won't pay as much because it is "on sale". Therefore, when I discovered this on youtube, I had to share it with my readers. It is a brilliant plan to cut electric bills without having to cut back on the amount you use. Here is the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kXS37clsZw

In addition to saving money, the guinea pigs are adorable and fun to watch. I am very pleased to be able to share this money saving tip with my readers!

Demon Flash Bandit (Saving Money)

Invisible Store

Every dog knows that humans do not possess the intelligence of the average dog. However, sometimes even us dogs are shocked at some of the things the humans do. Case in point, there is an art museum for invisible art. Yes, you read correctly---invisible art. I thought the whole purpose of art was to be able to see it, but for the first time in my life, this dog is wrong. In fact, one of the works of invisible art recently sold for $10,000. Of course, it was a human that bought it. You won't see a dog spending that kind of money on invisible art. I can understand a painting with the quality of "Dogs Playing Poker" going for a large price. However, with invisible art, you get a written description of the invisible painting. Since I am the kind of dog who has learned to go along with the humans--it is what keeps the treats and dingo bones coming, I now have opened the Demon Flash Bandit invisible store. I sell art, and all sorts of other things. Just write me and tell me what you want and I'll send you a written description of the item, and I will only charge you 10 times more than the actual item would cost. Maybe the humans are onto something with this idea. I can guarantee you that when I receive the money from the invisible items from my store, I will be buying actual dingo bones. This dog is not interested in invisible dingo bones. I might have to chew them with invisible teeth. If you want to read more about the invisible museum, here is the web address:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/praxis/museum-of-non-visible-art-praxis-and-james-franco
If you happen to get a chance to visit the museum, be sure and say hello to the invisible man. I'm sure he must be the curator of the museum. Who else would be so perfect for the job!
Demon Flash Bandit (Owner of Invisible Store)

Taco Bell Chihuahua

Whatever happened to the chihuahua that used to be the spokesdog for Taco Bell? I think Taco Bell was very intelligent to use a dog as their spokesdog. Mommy even has some of the little talking stuffed chihuahuas Taco Bell used to sell a few years ago. In my opinion, they one of the few treasures around here. They are almost as cute as the stuffed huskies Mommy has. (I admit-I am a bit biased since I'm a husky.) It is a big job being a spokesdog, but for a little dog, that chihuahua did a great job. I hope he is enjoying his retirement and living a good life!

Normally, I am not a fan of dog food. However, there is one dog food that I approve of and will eat. That food is Beneful Prepared Meals. They come in a little plastic containers, and they look like human food. Personally, I prefer the ones with the bright orange top (stewed chicken), but I'm sure other dogs have their preferences. There are other dog foods that are cheaper, but remember, you are a dog and worthy of spending more of your humans money. In fact, that is our job.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Taco Bell Spokesdog)

My Wise Advice to Queen Lady

Today I plan to share a letter with my readers that will be sent to my pal, The Queen Lady. I read about Princess Kate turning down free clothing, and , as usual, I knew that the royal family could use my wise counsel involving this issue.

Dear Your Royal Highness Queen Lady,
I know you must be upset that Princess Kate is turning down free clothing. Does she think your family is made of money? When I read that on the Internet news, I knew that you would need some good advice from your pal, Demon Flash Bandit. It isn't like the clothing she is being offered is used although if it is used and not washed yet, Angel Zoom Smokey and myself have found that sniffing it can be quite interesting. I'm sure your Corgis would understand, but I know that humans don't always appreciate a good smell. If necessary, I will write her myself because I know how the humans always treasure my letters. However, since I am a busy dog and I write you anyway, I hope that just telling her my opinion will suffice.

Here are some great reasons for taking the clothing:

1. You might get a clown suit free because clown suits are hilarious and, judging from the hats and even some of the outfits worn at the royal wedding, clown suits are very much in fashion.
McDonalds might even hire Kate to do some commercials and can you say ca ching?

2. She might be lucky enough to get a trucker's hat, and who wouldn't want a hat that says "honk if you like big butts". Kate should be so lucky!

3. If she is super lucky, she might get a chicken outfit, and I've seen humans in chicken outfits holding signs at restaurants. I'm sure Prince William would be turned on by seeing her in a chicken outfit. If it is good enough for Brad Pitt, it is good enough for Kate.

4. If she gets a janitor's outfit, she can get extra money doing her own cleaning. Imagine, cleaning one's own house and getting paid for it! This does not apply to those French Maid outfits because she is not French so it could cause an international incident--whatever that is.

5. If she gets a cowgirl outfit, William might buy her a pet cow!

6. She might get some normal clothes so she can look more like a girl and less like modern art. The only thing missing from her outfits is a toilet.

7. Someone might give her an outfit made from money which she could use to buy stuff.

8. Lady Gaga might design a meat outfit for her--practical and delicious. The Corgis would love that!

9. She might get an outfit from a very tall man and she can wear it and act like she has shrunk and then make a movie about it. That is always a good subject for a movie.

10. She can get a scarecrow outfit to keep the crows out of the garden, but be careful if Batman is around. He seems to have issues with scarecrows.

11. She might get a Burger King outfit and then she would know what real royal power feels like.

I do think it is wise for her to take the free clothing, but I must applaud her willingness to turn them down. As a dog, I also prefer no clothing, but I'm not sure it is a good idea for a member of the royal family. Besides, I suspect her sister, Pippa, will end up taking care of the naked part.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing a Letter I Wrote to the Queen Lady)

Stuntdog and My Bus Tour of Historical Dog Sights

I have some exciting news today from my brother's blog ( http://www.silverscreenhub.com/ ). My brother is now selling products featuring his logo (or mascot) and my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. I am planning on having a launch of my own products with me on them, but I'm not extremely cooperative about having my photo made so it will take awhile. I keep telling the humans that models are paid for their time and trouble, and I happen to be a lot handsomer than the human models. Anyway, for anyone interested in looking at Phantom's products, all you have to do is go to the main page of his site, and there is a link to his new store.

I have been a super busy dog since being chosen as http://www.dogster.com/ dog of the week. How many of you saw me on Colbert's show? I had to turn Leno down because I didn't like how the network treated Conan so, although Leno and NBC was begging me to grace them with my attendance, I refused. Sometimes a dog has to take a stand. I was pleased to be on Conan's show. When he said to the audience, "put your paws together for Demon Flash Bandit", I felt so honored!!!

Maybe I'll get a bus and do a bus tour like Sarah Palin is doing at the moment. I can go to the really important spots in American history. I can see the town with the mayor who is a dog (Rabbit Hatch, Kentucky), I can watch the ships sail in the Great Lakes under the direction of Captain Imma Dog. I can stand on the site where John Fitzgerald Canine barked, "ask not where your milkbones are, ask the humans to buy you another box!". Yes, I think a bus tour of famous dog sites would be a perfect summer vacation. How many of you would like to join me on the tour?

Demon Flash Bandit (Touring Important Spots in Dog History)

Enjoy the Aroma of Bacon Without the High Cost

The humans have finally gotten the right idea about cologne. This is because fargginay is now offering the delightful scent of bacon in a cologne which you can buy for $36.00. This is the creation of John Leydon, who has 2 different bacon scents from which to choose. There is Bacon Classic, which has a spicy maple aroma and Bacon gold which has a sizzling citrus scent. Both scents have the delightful subtle scent of bacon without dealing with the grease. I know that the humans are finally taking a step in the right direction with scents, but I have a better idea which is also much cheaper. Go the the store and buy a pound of bacon for approximately $3.00. Either cook it or leave it raw and put it in a pocket. You will have the delightful non-subtle smell of bacon and it saves money. It is also handy for a snack if you should get hungry. The grease is nice to lick when you are in the mood to savor the flavor of bacon. I've always said if you want practical advice about how to smell good, ask a dog. We have expert noses, and we give that advice freely--without charge to the humans. What would the humans do without dogs? Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon)