Bird Hit Dog--Perfect Job for Demon Flash Bandit

Imagine my interest when I saw that an airport in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is willing to pay a lot of money for someone who can get rid of birds around the airport. Birds cause a lot of problems for airplanes so they think it is worth paying a "bird killer". As a Siberian Husky, I think Florida is a bit too hot, and they never have any snow, but I could keep the air conditioner going for such a perfect job for me. I like to think of myself as a "bird hit dog". I don't like birds, and I don't trust birds, and I think I could make sure the airport was bird free. I'd like to make the whole planet bird free so it is a job that I would be proud to do. It would also solve that problem of whenever I ask for something cool I see on the Internet that a dog would love to have, my human tells me that I have no money. Recently I wrote a blog about an animated zombie dog that was only $5,700. and I was planning to buy it and use it on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters away from my house. Every year those little deadbeats come by wanting a dog's candy. The humans, being stupid humans, give the children candy that could be eaten by the family dog if the humans had any sense at all. This is why it is great that I can get a job doing what I do best, and get enough money so that a dog can buy whatever he chooses to buy. Asking the humans for money isn't right--dogs should have their own stash of cash. To show that I am not just making this up, here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/you-can-make-dollar76000-a-year-scaring-birds-in-sunny-florida

In the future, I expect that my blogs will be coming to you from Florida.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hit Dog)

Airlines

I don't know about the rest of the dogs out there, but when I learned that Alec Baldwin had been kicked off a plane for using his cell phone, this dog decided that air travel just might be a bit too risky. My humans have never let me fly because they refuse to allow me to be in the cargo area of the plane which is where most bigger dogs like myself would have to fly. However, even if I could fly in a first class seat, how smart is it to fly knowing that the person next to me can get out his cell phone, make a call, and take down the plane. Many decades ago, the airlines wanted their passengers to feel safe in the air, and they went out of the way to make the customer feel that air travel was safe. Now they make you wonder if it is even safe to drive to the airport. I keep reading about the airlines losing money and going bankrupt. I remember when they used to make money and most people liked to fly. Let me explain how things have changed over years.

Fifty years ago, stewardesses were young and pretty. The last time my humans were on a plane, the "flight attendent" looked like she had been with the airline for about 40 years--probably starting when she was 30. The stewardesses used to be pleasant and nice--now the flight attendents (as in Alec Baldwin's case) could play the witch in the movie, Hansel and Gretel from their attitude. They used to give out food--either meals or snacks. Sure, the food wasn't gourmet, but at least it was food. Now most of the airlines charge you for food. They also add charges for luggage that are often not mentioned when the tickets are purchased because they keep changing them all the time. Perhaps if they went back to the old way of doing business-by treating customers like people who are paying for their service, maybe many of them would not be doing so badly. Sometimes a bit of kindness can go a long way. I also think they should start hiring employees who don't let the job of flight attendent put them on a power trip. A flight attendent is basically an "in air waitress"--not the CEO of the airlines. Before I would kick a person off a flight, I would probably assume that the game is not going to bring down the plane, and let it go. It would make for better public relations, and happier customers. I wonder how many customers were annoyed they had to wait for such a stupid reason.

Another thing, in the old days, planes were comfortable, and now they don't have enough leg room for anyone over 4 feet tall. I know they need to save money on gas, but this dog does not want to fly on the volkswagen bug of the airlines. In fact, grabbing a ride on a mosquito would probably give a dog more leg room!

I want to share an American Airlines pilot's opinion with you. It covers this subject well!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/11/alec-baldwin-snl-american-airlines_n_1141626.html

It really was the good old days when it comes to the airlines...now they are all being run by idiots--I'm sure there is not a dog running any of them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Consumer Advocate)