Dogs Aren't Messy: We are Creative

Once again, the humans have invented a product that, in my personal opinion, is useless. It is a dog feeding/watering system that is supposed to keep the place where the dog eats clean. You would think that the humans would realize that a dog's purpose in life is to make messes. Of course, they aren't really messes, but they are interior decorating masterpieces. The humans do not have any sense of style or good taste so they have bland rooms that us dogs find boring. Besides, some food, dropped in strategic places makes for good snacking later on when a dog gets hungry. I do not know why the humans put so much time and effort into inventing such useless products when they could better spend their time giving their dogs tummy rubs. I would share the link, but I don't want it to fall into the paws of the humans who might actually order the item.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Are Not Messy--We are Decorating)

Demon Flash Bandit: Dog Needs Toilet Tank Aquarium!

In my last blog, I mentioned a cool product I found on the Internet that is a toilet tank and an aquarium all in one. I think this is not only a cool product, but a product that a dog would find very entertaining. As I predicted, when I told Mommy I wanted her to order one and have it installed (and I didn't insist she put it in both bathrooms even though that would be a great idea), she told me that the ones in those bathrooms are working just fine, and she sees no need to spend money to replace things that work okay. At least she did agree that it would be cool to have one which makes her a lot more intelligent than some of the other humans--one of which called it (and I quote) "silly". I would order it myself, but it seems that a dog does not get paid for writing a blog (yeah, it seems crazy to me too--I've read some of the blogs written by humans and they aren't even interesting). Anyway, I had one of those moments when a lightbulb goes off over my head. It didn't hurt that I was sitting under a light fixture when it happened, but I knew that I had solved my problem of getting the fish tank toilet. All I have to do is ask my readers to send me money. Here is the address:
Demon Flash Bandit
United States
I'm sure that will be enough for the post office to get the money to me. I'm sure all the humans know who I am, and are probably jealous of my many, many postings which are always better than anything they could write. I am sure that, with all the money coming in, I'll be able to put aquarium toilet tanks in both bathrooms. Mommy said that there are more important things to give money to--like people who are starving and homeless, but I say that if you give a dog a fish toilet, he will be entertained for at least a week. I think that makes donating to my cause far more important than all the other causes out there. Remember, I need to watch fish when I'm laying on the bathroom floor, which happens to be one of the cooler spots in the house in which to lay. Being a husky, I always check to find the coolest spots!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Needs Your Help)

New Product: Fortune Cookie Machine

Occasionally, I enjoy sharing with my readers new products that are sure to make a big difference in everyone's lives. Today I am excited to introduce a fortune cookie machine. I happen to LOVE fortune cookies. In addition to my fortune, I get to eat a very delicious cookie. Of course, you can buy them ready made, but what if you can have your humans baking them for you at home anytime you want them? It sounds like a dream, but it is now a reality. I'm sure dogs could use the machine too, but it is much easier to have the humans do it for you. I think this is a product that should have been invented decades ago. I'm amazed that the humans have survived without this product. I am going to share the information about it with my readers. I'm sure all of you who see this blog will want to rush out and buy yourself one--and if it is a human reading it, buy it so you can make these delicious cookies for your dog. I think I would like to try one dipped in peanut butter. Here is the web address:

http://www.cnet.com/8301-13553_1-20123339-32/bake-your-own-custom-fortune-cookies/

I saw this product at my local Target store last week. I'm sure it will be available in other stores soon since it is due to be out in spring of 2012.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Fortune Cookies)

Human Decorators are Boring!

Today I am writing about a product that I feel is an insult to dogs everywhere. That product is the amazing mat. I am sharing a link so that you can see what it does.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2kNLFL0zMc
The mat is supposed to keep dirt from getting into a home, office, or wherever you choose to put it. This mat will stop muddy pawprints before a dog can get into the house with muddy paws. I think this is awful because a dog goes to the trouble of getting paws dirty for the purpose of properly decorating the human homes. Many humans have boring, uninteresting homes because they spend entirely too much time cleaning them. In the process of cleaning, they clean all the interesting sights and smells out of their homes. Yes, I know it is stupid, but you have to remember, you are dealing with humans here--not dogs. We dogs don't waste time and energy cleaning to make a place look less interesting. For all the dogs who are reading this, I would suggest you make sure that this product never comes into your home. If it does, chew it to pieces before it can turn your home into a sterile, uninteresting environment. Remember, if a dog doesn't fix the situation, no one will.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Good Taste)

Puppy Tweets Discontinued!

My humans bought me that product, Puppy Tweets, so that I could tweet them more often when I'm in the mood. They are usually with me, but you know how it is when they are in another room and a dog doesn't feel like getting up and walking into the other room to talk to the humans. Paws do get tired! Anyway, I was excited at first and then I made the humans take it off of me because it is on a chain and it kept hitting my neck which I did not like. I just chatted with the humans at Mattel, the company that made Puppy Tweets, suggesting they make it lighter and thinner so it would be more comfortable for a dog to wear. However, they said that the product had been discontinued. This is what happens when a company listens to birds when making a product for dogs. Birds don't like dogs, and they never will so I think they deliberately sabotaged the product. It makes sense that birds would not want dogs tweeting the humans and possibly warning them about the latest of the birds evil plans for world domination. I do hope that Mattel will bring back a new and better Puppy Tweets. Maybe they should call it Puppy Barks so that they won't feel the need to bring birds into the developmental stage of the product. By the way, I do have a Twitter account for my readers who want to follow me, and my twitter name is demonflashhusky. I usually "tweet" when I post a new blog so it would enable those of you who use twitter a lot to catch my latest blogs as soon as possible--which I'm sure is what all my readers live for!

Demon Flash Bandit (Tweeting Dog)

The Most Comfortable Seat Saved for the Dog!

I have run across yet another brilliant and practical must-have item for dogs which I will share in today's blog. That item is a seat saver. Yes, fake spilled food that you can put on a seat to "save" it for you so that no one takes it when you have to leave for a few minutes. This is such a genius idea that I would love to meet the dog who invented it. You know how the humans think they should get the most comfortable seats and leave the dogs the least comfortable ones or the dog has to sit on the floor? With this new product, a dog can put the item on the seat of his choice, and come back whenever he wants to because the humans will avoid sitting on a seat that has ice cream, etc. spilled all over it. Thus, when the dog returns to the seat, he can move the fake food, and he has the best chair in the place. I'm sure the humans could use it too, but why tell them about it? I think if dogs keep the secret, the humans will never know because they aren't the brightest tools in the shed. Yes, a dog can go out in public, pick out a seat, save it with a seat saver, go the the concession stand to get some food, and come back to the same comfortable seat he chose before he left to get some treats. For those dogs who want to order this product, the address is:
http://www.geekosystem.com/?s=seat+savers
This is a product that all dogs will want to own!

Demon Flash Bandit (Genius Product for Saving Seats)