Dogs Aren't Messy: We are Creative

Once again, the humans have invented a product that, in my personal opinion, is useless. It is a dog feeding/watering system that is supposed to keep the place where the dog eats clean. You would think that the humans would realize that a dog's purpose in life is to make messes. Of course, they aren't really messes, but they are interior decorating masterpieces. The humans do not have any sense of style or good taste so they have bland rooms that us dogs find boring. Besides, some food, dropped in strategic places makes for good snacking later on when a dog gets hungry. I do not know why the humans put so much time and effort into inventing such useless products when they could better spend their time giving their dogs tummy rubs. I would share the link, but I don't want it to fall into the paws of the humans who might actually order the item.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Are Not Messy--We are Decorating)

Dogs Solve Problems

I read a news item today about a huge Burmese Python that was found in Florida. It seems that Florida has a lot of new "exotic" species thanks to the humans who deal in exotic animals and reptiles. The humans don't seem to have a clue how to deal with this situation, and the new species often threaten the species that are already there. By the way, in my personal opinion, I think all snakes should be killed. I don't like them and I think they are useless creatures-even more useless than birds! As usual, if you want to get something done properly, you have to consult with a dog, and this dog has a solution the problem. All the humans have to do is to tell the new species that they don't belong there and buy them a plane ticket to where they do belong. I'm sure the species would be much happier in their original home, and would welcome the chance to go back there. You would think the humans could come up with solutions on their own, but they have those little human size brains--not big dog size brains. I'm going to take a nap until tomorrow when I might need to solve more of the humans' problems.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Big Brain--Like All Dogs)

Move Review: Sex and the City

I have never done a movie review for Sex and the City. That is because I never saw the movies. I skipped the movies because I watched the television show once, and that was enough for this dog. However, for those who might be wondering if they are worth seeing, I will tell you my opinion of the television episode that I watched. The show involved some women who live in a big city--I'm assuming it is New York City, but I'm not entirely sure. I think there were 4 of them, but there might have been only 3. To be honest, I really never got that interested in learning about the characters. Why? Because basically, all they seemed to do was eat, complain, and talk about shoes. I don't mind the eating part. We dogs are fond of eating. However, the complaining made it hard to watch. It didn't look like the women had hard lives or anything, but you wouldn't know that by listening to them. Also, I found them quite unlikeable. They weren't even particularly nice to each other. Shoes were another big deal. As a dog, I have to admit that I have never eaten a shoe...not that they don't look tempting, but I have never eaten one. I think that could be because, even as a puppy, my humans always made sure I had toys and rawhide bones to chew on when I was in the mood to chew. Plus, they are usually with me so it is a bit harder to chew a shoe when the humans are with you. However, I do not think that an expensive booty would taste any better than an inexpensive booty. In the episode I watched, one of the women was all upset because she was always having to buy wedding gifts and baby gifts for friends and she didn't get any herself. After complaining about that for much of the episode, I turned the television off. If I want to hear complaints, I'll go to a mirror and complain myself. We dogs are not allowed to go in a lot of places including that restaurant that those women were at so I think I have far more valid complaints, and all of that because I'm a dog. Yet, I'm a dog who is smarter than those idiot women on Sex and the City. I can prove I'm smarter. If the lady didn't want to buy her friends a gift and she resented it so much, why not just not give them a gift. That woman needs a dog to give her practical advice. A gift is something you give because you want to give the person something. If you don't want to give a gift, you don't have to. It is a shame that the ladies on that show aren't smart enough to know that on their own. I would suggest not watching the movies or television show unless you have nothing better to do with your life. They are boring and stupid. I give them 4 paws down!

Demon Flash Bandit (Reviewing Sex and the City)

Miss Piggy and Kermit Answer Fox News

I will start this blog by stating that I am not a fan of Fox News. Therefore, I never watch it. However, when Fox News accused the recent muppet movie of being anti-oil and anti-corporation, I thought they had really went over the edge. That kind of reporting is the reason I don't watch their show. Fans of the muppets will be happy to know that Kermit and Miss Piggy have issued a statement regarding Fox News. They are not anti-oil or anti-corporation. Big oil companies and other corporations are not bad in themselves, but they do cause problems when they get too greedy-a fact which also applies to individuals. This is why I consider Fox an anti-news program. When I watch the news, I don't want opinion, I want facts. I'll decide my opinion for myself. It isn't like Fox is hiring dogs to give their opinions. Here is the web address for those who want to hear it from Kermit and Miss Piggy's own words.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/30/muppets-diss-fox-news-in-response-anti-oil_n_1241199.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Newsdog)

Bones: The Pawfect Gift!

Yesterday I discussed Christmas gifts for the dogs on your list--which in my opinion, should be the only ones on your list. However, there are a few gifts that dogs do not want and are not appreciated so make sure that the dog on your list does not get any of these gifts. Vacuum cleaners are the first thing that you do not get for a dog. I have yet to meet a dog who likes vacuum cleaners. If you happen to have food that drops on the floor, the dog will probably be willing to clean it for you. It is isn't food, who cares? It can stay until you move to another house. I have discussed this with many dogs and that is the general consensus among us dogs!

Another gift that you should never give a dog is soap or shampoo. Few of us like baths, and if we live with humans who give us baths, the humans will pay for such things so why waste a gift getting something like that? Besides, most of us dogs hate baths, and would prefer to be left alone.

Remember, dogs love bones. It is always a safe choice for any dog on your list!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Doesn't Like Cleaning Products)