Dogdude:Great American Dog Hero

With the recent popularity of the Batman movie franchise, I have decided it is time to write a script involving a new superhero that the young people can relate to more than the traditional Batman. He will be called Batdude. Wait, why bother with Batman? I will write about an even cooler super hero, Dogdude. Dogdude will wear a cool cape, and he will come when called-if he is in the mood. There are times when the humans call me, and I am relaxing. I don't bother to go to them because I know that they are calling me for some silly reason, and I'm not going to get up for their amusement. He will eat only human food, and will expect treats for a job well done--like rescuing the humans from the stupid situations they manage to get themselves into. Dogdude will be the greatest super hero ever to grace the big screen, and he will be played by me because I am the only dog who can pull off such a cool part. The studios will only have to pay me $70 million dollars, but I'm sure that won't be a problem. I'm sure they know that they are getting a bargain when they get me for such a small sum.

Demon Flash Bandit (DogDude)

My Wise Advice to Queen Lady

Today I plan to share a letter with my readers that will be sent to my pal, The Queen Lady. I read about Princess Kate turning down free clothing, and , as usual, I knew that the royal family could use my wise counsel involving this issue.

Dear Your Royal Highness Queen Lady,
I know you must be upset that Princess Kate is turning down free clothing. Does she think your family is made of money? When I read that on the Internet news, I knew that you would need some good advice from your pal, Demon Flash Bandit. It isn't like the clothing she is being offered is used although if it is used and not washed yet, Angel Zoom Smokey and myself have found that sniffing it can be quite interesting. I'm sure your Corgis would understand, but I know that humans don't always appreciate a good smell. If necessary, I will write her myself because I know how the humans always treasure my letters. However, since I am a busy dog and I write you anyway, I hope that just telling her my opinion will suffice.

Here are some great reasons for taking the clothing:

1. You might get a clown suit free because clown suits are hilarious and, judging from the hats and even some of the outfits worn at the royal wedding, clown suits are very much in fashion.
McDonalds might even hire Kate to do some commercials and can you say ca ching?

2. She might be lucky enough to get a trucker's hat, and who wouldn't want a hat that says "honk if you like big butts". Kate should be so lucky!

3. If she is super lucky, she might get a chicken outfit, and I've seen humans in chicken outfits holding signs at restaurants. I'm sure Prince William would be turned on by seeing her in a chicken outfit. If it is good enough for Brad Pitt, it is good enough for Kate.

4. If she gets a janitor's outfit, she can get extra money doing her own cleaning. Imagine, cleaning one's own house and getting paid for it! This does not apply to those French Maid outfits because she is not French so it could cause an international incident--whatever that is.

5. If she gets a cowgirl outfit, William might buy her a pet cow!

6. She might get some normal clothes so she can look more like a girl and less like modern art. The only thing missing from her outfits is a toilet.

7. Someone might give her an outfit made from money which she could use to buy stuff.

8. Lady Gaga might design a meat outfit for her--practical and delicious. The Corgis would love that!

9. She might get an outfit from a very tall man and she can wear it and act like she has shrunk and then make a movie about it. That is always a good subject for a movie.

10. She can get a scarecrow outfit to keep the crows out of the garden, but be careful if Batman is around. He seems to have issues with scarecrows.

11. She might get a Burger King outfit and then she would know what real royal power feels like.

I do think it is wise for her to take the free clothing, but I must applaud her willingness to turn them down. As a dog, I also prefer no clothing, but I'm not sure it is a good idea for a member of the royal family. Besides, I suspect her sister, Pippa, will end up taking care of the naked part.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing a Letter I Wrote to the Queen Lady)

Singing Spiderman

Perhaps you have heard about the new Broadway musical starring Spiderman. Since dogs are not allowed to attend Broadway shows, I won't get to see it personally, but in this situation, the jury is still out on whether it is a good thing or bad that dogs aren't allowed. Although they do have some very talented musicians composing the music, Bono and The Edge. The only glitch for me is that I have never felt that Spiderman really needed musical accompaniment. So far, the big song about spiders, Itsy Bitsy Spider, isn't exactly on the charts. Perhaps if it was sung by Spiderman, it might do better, but considering he is usually busy fighting villains, it doesn't leave a super hero much time for singing. This is not the first time that a comic book hero has appeared on Broadway. In 1966, there was a Broadway musical based on Superman, but it didn't last long. It was called It's a Bird....It's a Plane...It's Superman. If Spiderman is successful, it might bring back a new Superman musical. I think Superman would have upbeat music. Perhaps he could perform Happy Feet with some penguins. It would be appropriate since his fortress is located in a cold area, and penguins love it when it is cold. I can envision Batman singing Stuck in the Middle With you if they decided to do a Batman musical. I checked the ticket prices on the Internet, and the prices range from $155.00-$325.00 per ticket on a weekday, and $188.00-$350.00 on the weekend. This dog would be skipping the show even if I were allowed to attend. At those prices a dog could buy a lot of Burger King, dingo bones, and Yummy Chummies. The humans are impractical with money, but not us dogs. We have our priorities.

I hope that the humans who pay so much to go to the new musical enjoy it, but this dog will stay home and chew on a dingo bone. It is hard to beat the entertainment value of a dingo bone!

Demon Flash Bandit (Broadway Critic)

Calling all Superheroes

Dream Works Animation has organized a big event to occur at the L.A. Live Theater on October 2, 2010 at 8:00 am. The event, the world's largest gathering of super heroes, is part of MegaMonth, a month honoring the release of the new movie Megamind. Will Ferrell will be hosting the event. Dream Works is hoping to get 1,500 costumed superheroes to attend the event. The costumed Superhero has to be a recognizable superhero that has appeared in a published book, comic, television show, or movie. I am assuming that superheroes like Krypto and Underdog will be welcome. They might be able to discriminate against ordinary, non-super dogs, but I'm sure they would draw the line at discrimination against super-dogs.

I wish I could attend this event. I would love to see all the ones who show up. Sure, Superman and Batman will be there, but I'd like to make sure the lesser known ones show up--like Blankman, Bluntman, and Chronic. Could Luke Skywalker count as a superhero since he has all those powers of the force with him or would that be cheating since he has to use the force? If you have any questions like that, perhaps you can contact Dream Works for answers since they are the ones organizing the event. For those of you dogs who get to go, have a good time!

Demon Flash Bandit (Superdogs Had Better be Included in the Event)