Since today is Independence Day in the United States, I am going to share a link about a video game in which Dogsworth McFreedom (George Washington's dog) helps in the fight for freedom--at least I think that is what he is doing. I'm not really much of a video game player. I don't think the video game manufacturers make those games with us dogs in mind which is silly since we could be a major market for them. It is nice to see a game involving freedom and independence--and some of us dogs were beginning to think that holidays were just about sales at the stores. They do tend to have sales because of holidays. I suspect that they make up holidays in which to have a sale about. I'm still not believing that there is a bird appreciation holiday. That is just insane since birds are evil! Here is the link:
http://www.siliconera.com/2012/07/04/the-perfect-independence-day-game-stars-george-washingtons-dog/
Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Link)
Showing posts with label George Washington. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Washington. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Were Founding Fathers Cartoon Characters?
I had to check out a new smell in Mommy's purse yesterday. It was one of my favorite of the human smells--that of money. Yeah, Mommy actually had some of the green paper United States currency in her wallet. I was looking through the bills and I realized something interesting about the "founding fathers" of the United States. They are all cartoon characters! I first noticed it on the $20.00 bill. It has Andrew Jackson, and I was amazed at how much he looks like that alien, Roger, from American Dad. The American Dad creators could have used Andrew Jackson as the model for Roger....put a wig on Roger and see if you don't think he looks like Andrew Jackson. This caused me to examine other bills to see if there was a pattern, and sure enough, there was. George Washington, on the $1.00 bill looks like the Tasmanian Devil. The $5.00 bill has Abraham Lincoln, and don't tell me that he does not bear a striking resemblance to Daffy Duck! The $10.00 bill is supposed to be Hamilton, but I think it is Foghorn Leghorn. The $100.00 bill has Porky Pig on it even though it is supposed to be Benjamin Franklin. The $50.00 bill which supposedly has Grant is actually Elmer Fudd. Perhaps it is a coincidence, but I suspect that there is more to this than the mint wants us to know. Either our "founding fathers" were cartoon characters or the cartoon characters were drawn to look like them. I do think that cartoon character founding fathers would explain why so many people elect stupid people into office. They have been trained to do so because they think the politicians should be cartoon characters! No wonder it is so hard for a dog to win an election....we are way too smart to be taken seriously!
Demon Flash Bandit (Political Observation)
Demon Flash Bandit (Political Observation)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Palin Should Not Be Allowed to Discuss Historical Events
Sarah Palin has been giving history lessons again which might be okay if she happened to actually have a clue as to what happened in history. Most of us learned as puppies that Paul Revere rode his famous ride to warn the colonists that the British were coming. I'm surprised Sarah Palin's version didn't have him riding around warning the colonists that they need to clean up their homes and make some tea because the British were coming for a tea party. This dog is of the opinion that it should be illegal for stupid people to say stuff, and definitely illegal for them to run for political office. However, they do make the elections funny with some of the things they "invent". If Palin had passed a history course ( and I don't see how that is possible), she would know that carrying guns back then was no big deal. Gun control was not an issue, and the guns, being muskets, weren't exactly automatic weapons. I'm not that knowledgable about guns, because the guns' triggers are difficult for a dog to use. However, I am going to assume that a musket was probably just a step above a bow and arrow. I bet she has some interesting stories about George Washington to share with the country. I bet he was President and reality show star according to Palin.
If you want to learn history accurately, ask a dog. We are so much more intelligent that the smart humans. As much as I hate to say this, even the birds are smarter than Palin!
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Palin)
If you want to learn history accurately, ask a dog. We are so much more intelligent that the smart humans. As much as I hate to say this, even the birds are smarter than Palin!
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Palin)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Letter from Charlie Sheen
This dog happens to have a lot of celebrity friends who correspond with me frequently. One of them that I share letters from often is the Queen Lady (Elizabeth II). Today I will share a letter I received from my pal, Charlie Sheen. I am sharing this letter because I think he needs to be heard. It is a shame that he has been so quiet lately.
Dear Demon Whatever,
How is it going? I know you don't get me and you can't comprehend me, but you are the only one who can even come close to understanding me. You get me, but I know you don't get me, man, but you get me. You got it? I know you get it, or do you? Got it?
You and me are so alike dude because I have stunt doubles and you have Phantom Fast Snowman, your stunt double. My stunt double always wins, and he is always winning. He wins. He is a loser compared to me, but he is a winner by association with me. It is win-win. My stunt double is Zeus because he is the only one that can come close to my winningness and awesomeness, but he is a *&%$& compared to me. He has a long gray beard that is not cool man. If I remember my old high school D&D days, long gray beards were for #%$# and wizards. We all know they are one and the same. Look at Gandolf the Gray-he needs to shut his yap. I'm tired of hearing what he has to say.
Did anyone see my Tweet about getting a hot dog? That hot dog was cool, but it was hot. If it has been cool, it would not have tasted good, and I put hot sauce on it so it wouldn't be cool. That hot dog was awesome unlike that *^%*&^ Thomas Jefferson. If Thomas Jefferson were here now, I would kick him right in his pantaloons. Oh Charlie Sheen, how I hate Thomas Jefferson. I'm amazed the studio didn't cancel his Presidency. He didn't make people laugh which is why his Presidency *^#$&. I need more money to dig Thomas Jefferson up and kick the deading lights out of him. He has a stupid face. I also need money for more hot dogs. Hot dogs are cool and so are nachos. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I live with 2 goddesses and my twins who are Barbie and Ken dolls. Get it? Of course you can't, but I know you get it even though you can't. Man, I am feeling good because I am high on Charlie Sheen. I think my 2 goddesses have names, but I'm not sure nor do I care. They shall be known by the names, Charlie Sheen 2 and 3 because Charlie Sheen is a good name for a goddess. I wonder if they do magic tricks. They already make my money disappear, but that is okay because I don't need money. I pay for everything with Charlie Sheen because I'm a winner. Money is so beneath me since it is such a celestrial concept that I can't grasp it nor do I care to grasp it. Man, I don't even want money nor do I need money. I need at least 320 million dollars. Bills don't pay themselves. Drugs don't buy themselves either. It isn't like I take drugs, but I do buy them. I'm honest and wouldn't cheat a drug dealer who is selling me drugs I don't take.
I always tell the truth, man. I sometimes lie and I'm being honest about that because I tell the truth all the time. John Stamos can #$%$# it. He can't replace me. I can barely replace me. I make the show, Two and a Half Man. I even suggested they rename the show, One Man, One Mooching Crybaby and One kid. Pretzels are good dude. My costars need to grow some and eat pretzels.
I think I am going to hunt and tear the heart out of a zebra because the tiger blood in me is telling me to eat a zebra. I have no control over this tiger blood, man. It is crazy, but it makes me sane. I'm going to the zoo so I can pick a fight with another tiger at the zoo so I can be the dominant tiger.
99% of songs are written about me. The other 1% are written about #%$#% that don't concern me. They need to shut up.....NOW. KNEEL BEFORE SHEEN-not that stupid Zod character on Superman. I can beat the #%## out of Superman and Zod at the same time man. That is my Adonis DNA that allows me to do that. Superman is a #$%# just like Jefferson. Sheen, I hate Jefferson. I hate Washington too. I have never understood why the country has so much respect for a man who washes clothes. What a loser! Washington was cool though. What was I talking about.....oh yeah, Nixon. He had a long nose and would not have made a good sitcom actor. I bet he never lived with a goddess let alone goddesses.
The guy and me at the hot dog shop were discussing the situation in Liberia, and we agreed that something needs to be done and that Thomas Jefferson was a #%$# who was the sole person responsible for all the horrors we face now. Why did he plant killer tomatoes anyway? Stupid Jefferson. Benjamin Franklin was cool because he invented lightning, and stormed into people showers with a wrench and tells them to call a plumber. In fact, Franklin is a plumber. He is still alive. I know this because he was on a episode of The Office, which is a lousy show because it does not star Charlie Sheen. That Charlie Sheen is one talented dude. I'd love to meet him someday!!!
Franklin must be like me because he appears to be immortal. The movie Highlander was loosly based on my life, but the movie *_#*# because it didn't star Charlie Sheen. I'm not a fan of Bach either. He had the DNA of a fruitfly--a stupid fruitfly. They are almost as bad as anteaters. Sheen, I hate anteaters!
I think Thomas Jefferson was secretly an anteater. It was a conspiracy among the anteaters to infiltrate the government and steal our ants. I wonder if he drove one of those #%$$ hybrid cars. It sounds like something Jefferson would do.
Man, you are the only person I envy. I think it would be great to be a dog if I could be Demon Flash Bandit. Of course, being a dog might cause some problems with my tiger cat blood.
Long story short. I just wrote to say hi. I don't really have anything to say.
Love, Charlie Sheen
As you can see, we are close pals even though I have no idea what he is saying most of the time, but that is okay because I doubt if he knows what he is saying either.
Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Letters from my Celebrity Friends)
Dear Demon Whatever,
How is it going? I know you don't get me and you can't comprehend me, but you are the only one who can even come close to understanding me. You get me, but I know you don't get me, man, but you get me. You got it? I know you get it, or do you? Got it?
You and me are so alike dude because I have stunt doubles and you have Phantom Fast Snowman, your stunt double. My stunt double always wins, and he is always winning. He wins. He is a loser compared to me, but he is a winner by association with me. It is win-win. My stunt double is Zeus because he is the only one that can come close to my winningness and awesomeness, but he is a *&%$& compared to me. He has a long gray beard that is not cool man. If I remember my old high school D&D days, long gray beards were for #%$# and wizards. We all know they are one and the same. Look at Gandolf the Gray-he needs to shut his yap. I'm tired of hearing what he has to say.
Did anyone see my Tweet about getting a hot dog? That hot dog was cool, but it was hot. If it has been cool, it would not have tasted good, and I put hot sauce on it so it wouldn't be cool. That hot dog was awesome unlike that *^%*&^ Thomas Jefferson. If Thomas Jefferson were here now, I would kick him right in his pantaloons. Oh Charlie Sheen, how I hate Thomas Jefferson. I'm amazed the studio didn't cancel his Presidency. He didn't make people laugh which is why his Presidency *^#$&. I need more money to dig Thomas Jefferson up and kick the deading lights out of him. He has a stupid face. I also need money for more hot dogs. Hot dogs are cool and so are nachos. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I live with 2 goddesses and my twins who are Barbie and Ken dolls. Get it? Of course you can't, but I know you get it even though you can't. Man, I am feeling good because I am high on Charlie Sheen. I think my 2 goddesses have names, but I'm not sure nor do I care. They shall be known by the names, Charlie Sheen 2 and 3 because Charlie Sheen is a good name for a goddess. I wonder if they do magic tricks. They already make my money disappear, but that is okay because I don't need money. I pay for everything with Charlie Sheen because I'm a winner. Money is so beneath me since it is such a celestrial concept that I can't grasp it nor do I care to grasp it. Man, I don't even want money nor do I need money. I need at least 320 million dollars. Bills don't pay themselves. Drugs don't buy themselves either. It isn't like I take drugs, but I do buy them. I'm honest and wouldn't cheat a drug dealer who is selling me drugs I don't take.
I always tell the truth, man. I sometimes lie and I'm being honest about that because I tell the truth all the time. John Stamos can #$%$# it. He can't replace me. I can barely replace me. I make the show, Two and a Half Man. I even suggested they rename the show, One Man, One Mooching Crybaby and One kid. Pretzels are good dude. My costars need to grow some and eat pretzels.
I think I am going to hunt and tear the heart out of a zebra because the tiger blood in me is telling me to eat a zebra. I have no control over this tiger blood, man. It is crazy, but it makes me sane. I'm going to the zoo so I can pick a fight with another tiger at the zoo so I can be the dominant tiger.
99% of songs are written about me. The other 1% are written about #%$#% that don't concern me. They need to shut up.....NOW. KNEEL BEFORE SHEEN-not that stupid Zod character on Superman. I can beat the #%## out of Superman and Zod at the same time man. That is my Adonis DNA that allows me to do that. Superman is a #$%# just like Jefferson. Sheen, I hate Jefferson. I hate Washington too. I have never understood why the country has so much respect for a man who washes clothes. What a loser! Washington was cool though. What was I talking about.....oh yeah, Nixon. He had a long nose and would not have made a good sitcom actor. I bet he never lived with a goddess let alone goddesses.
The guy and me at the hot dog shop were discussing the situation in Liberia, and we agreed that something needs to be done and that Thomas Jefferson was a #%$# who was the sole person responsible for all the horrors we face now. Why did he plant killer tomatoes anyway? Stupid Jefferson. Benjamin Franklin was cool because he invented lightning, and stormed into people showers with a wrench and tells them to call a plumber. In fact, Franklin is a plumber. He is still alive. I know this because he was on a episode of The Office, which is a lousy show because it does not star Charlie Sheen. That Charlie Sheen is one talented dude. I'd love to meet him someday!!!
Franklin must be like me because he appears to be immortal. The movie Highlander was loosly based on my life, but the movie *_#*# because it didn't star Charlie Sheen. I'm not a fan of Bach either. He had the DNA of a fruitfly--a stupid fruitfly. They are almost as bad as anteaters. Sheen, I hate anteaters!
I think Thomas Jefferson was secretly an anteater. It was a conspiracy among the anteaters to infiltrate the government and steal our ants. I wonder if he drove one of those #%$$ hybrid cars. It sounds like something Jefferson would do.
Man, you are the only person I envy. I think it would be great to be a dog if I could be Demon Flash Bandit. Of course, being a dog might cause some problems with my tiger cat blood.
Long story short. I just wrote to say hi. I don't really have anything to say.
Love, Charlie Sheen
As you can see, we are close pals even though I have no idea what he is saying most of the time, but that is okay because I doubt if he knows what he is saying either.
Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Letters from my Celebrity Friends)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I'm Not a Chia Dog
Today's topic is chia heads. There have been chia pets around for years. Humans buy them and plant seeds and grow "green plant hair" on the item. Sometimes they are heads, and sometimes they are animals. Today's topic is about the heads. You can buy George Washington, Barack Obama, Abraham Lincoln, or the Statue of Liberty as Chia Heads now. I wonder why no one thought of this idea sooner. I'm sure Washington would be pleased to know that he can now be seen with green hair. Actually, I'm joking. I think Washington would probably be highly upset if he saw green hair on his head. The founding fathers just don't impress me as the kind of men who would have green, pink, purple or blue hair. Maybe I'm wrong, and they sat around wishing their hair could be a cool color like that, but somehow I just don't think they did. I suspect they had more important things on their mind than hair color anyway. I can't even picture modern Barack Obama wanting green hair. Of course, I could get in touch with Bo, the first dog, and ask. I know I always feel better knowing that a dog is in the White House. I can't really see Lincoln wanting green hair either. I wonder--does he grow a green chia beard too? These are the kinds of thoughts that disturb my naps. Also, would the immigrants who came to the shores of New York Harbor feel the same way about being here if they had finally spotted the Statue of Liberty and found that she had green hair? Don't get me wrong--I don't mind chia pets, but I just wonder how I would feel if they came up with a Demon Flash Bandit chia pet that grows "green hair". I happen to look handsome with my black and white fur, and I think I'd prefer to keep the fur.
I have a wonderful announcement to share with my readers. I will soon be posting photos on my blog of my stunt dog double. Yes, folks, I am finally getting a stunt dog to do the things I hate doing--like trying on dog clothing. I am very excited about this new development, and I think my readers will enjoy seeing "me" or "Angel" doing things the humans could never get us to do in the past. Keep watching my blogs for the introduction of this important new dog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Chia Dog)
I have a wonderful announcement to share with my readers. I will soon be posting photos on my blog of my stunt dog double. Yes, folks, I am finally getting a stunt dog to do the things I hate doing--like trying on dog clothing. I am very excited about this new development, and I think my readers will enjoy seeing "me" or "Angel" doing things the humans could never get us to do in the past. Keep watching my blogs for the introduction of this important new dog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Chia Dog)
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