Herd the Alligators to Gatorland

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how a dog should not have an alligator as a pet. Today, after reading my blog, the Internet news had some news about alligators. As usual, I, Demon Flash Bandit, have set the pace for the news the following day. I don't know what they would do without me to give them things to write about. Anyway, an alligator bit a person in a hotel room in Lousiana. In another news item, a lady in Florida came home to find an alligator in her house. The assumption is that it got in through the doggy door, and she thinks it wanted to eat her cats. Does the stupid alligator not realize that cats are not for alligators to eat? They are for dogs. I wouldn't eat a cat, but if anyone eats a cat, it should be a dog. Alligators can eat many other types of animals in the wild. They should leave the cats alone. Besides, they might not get filled up completely on cats and then they might go after the family dog. This is why I think all alligators should be in Gatorland in Orlando, Florida where they belong. Can't the states that have them hire some "gatorboys" (like cowboys for cows), who can herd all the alligators to Gatorland. At least there the humans can enjoy watching them, and they don't cause any trouble. If only dogs were running the world....humans never think of solutions that make sense. Here is the story of the alligators mentioned in the news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/alligator-visits-louisian_0_n_1420218.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl16%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D152115

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Would Hire "Gatorboys")

Alligators Are Not Good Pets!

I don't think I have to bother to write much about how humans make great pets for dogs. There are so many dogs who own humans; and for the most part, the humans do make delightful pets. You can imagine my surprise the other day when I had a dog tell me that he had a pet alligator. I think this is a silly pet for a dog to have. In fact, when a dog gets too close to an alligator, the dog might become the alligator's dinner. Sure, they do have nice teeth similar to us dogs, but that does not make for a good pet. I told my dog pal to stick with humans because alligators are just too dangerous. I hope he listens because I think alligators should stay in their home in Orlando, Florida-Gatorland.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alligators)

Halloween Strategy

I have devised a strategy to keep the trick or treaters out of the candy. It will take a little work on the part of Angel Zoom Smokey and myself, but keeping our candy safe is worth the effort. First, we are going to dig a big ditch around the house. This will be the enjoyable work since we like to dig anyway, and are very accomplished at it. Then we will fill it with water and put alligators in the water. If the human puppies manage to get through our moat, we will be standing in the window with bow and arrow ready to send a message to the little thieves. You don't come to our house expecting a dog's candy without consequences. This inspiration came when Jeff was watching Robin Hood, but we will have some machine guns backing us up in case the arrows aren't enough. Some human puppies can be quite persistent when it comes to getting candy. Of course, my humans know nothing about this plan. The humans are always happily giving away the candy when you think they would have enough sense to hoard it for themselves. After Howloween, I will send the gators to Gatorland in Orlando, FL so they can be with their relatives. They can come up and visit again next Howloween. I arranged all this with George the Gator who owns most of northern Florida judging by the souvenir shops that he owns along the expressway. By the way, I am suggesting to Mommy that she give out Mike and Ike's this year since that is one of my favorite candies.

Autumn is in the air and this brings a dog's mind to the Cider Mills. Why haven't we visited one yet? This dog could stand a couple of tasty doughnuts or an apple covered in fudge and caramel. Michigan does have delightfully tasty apple cider. I have never visited a cider mill, but I would love to go. I hope it isn't one of those annoying businesses that does not allow dogs. Since most of the doughnuts are eaten outside, I think a dog should be allowed. The health department can't exactly ban us from outside. This dog could use an outing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Candy)

Gatorland: A Wonderful Place to Visit

Before I start with today's blog entry, I would like to tell you that when I interviewed Phineas T. Pineapple yesterday, I discovered that he had exaggerated his beginnings. Pineapples do not grow on trees. However, I won't hold it against him because, from my research, the rest of his life checks out; and he was so young at the time that he may honestly not remember. I also suspect he listens to much to his uncle, Phillip T (The) Pineapple, and his uncle is a bit eccentric.

Today's blog is about a place my humans visited a few years back in Orlando, Florida--Gatorland. I doubt that dogs are allowed and at least I can understand that since we dogs have big teeth, and we might scare the gators. They might be offended if us dogs are walking around calling them snack food. Anyway, it is a very cool attraction, and you know it has to be to compete with DisneyWorld and Universal theme parks. I suspect my brothers liked it better-or at least just as much. Since I have credentials as a journalist, I was able to get a video inteview with one of the gators, Her name is Gertrude, and I want to share that interview with my readers.

Demon Flash Bandit: Gertrude, it is so nice to meet you. Do you like living at Gatorland?

Gertrude, As a matter of fact, I do.

Demon Flash Bandit: My personal preference is a cold climate like Alaska. Do you think you would like it there?

Gertrude: No, we gators like to live where it is warm, but I'm sure Alaska is a nice place for a Siberian husky like yourself.

Demon Flash Bandit: Tell me about your life as a young gator.

Gertrude: I was born in a swamp in Louisiana.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why did you come to Florida?

Gertrude: I came here when Disneyworld opened. I thought there would be work for an alligator there since the park is owned and run by a mouse.

Demon Flash Bandit:
How did that work out for you?

Gertrude: It didn't. It seems that humans have a lot power in running Disney's parks, and they said they had no need for an alligator. I thought they could at least hire me for photo ops with the tourists. Anyway, I went down the road and got a job here at Gatorland and I have been here ever since.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why do you think that you gators have such a bad reputation among some of the humans?

Gertrude: I think they are scared of us because they think they might become our dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, I guess that would cause that kind of reaction. Do you like humans?

Gertrude. Yes, they are particularly good with ketchup.

Demon Flash Bandit: It is time to go now. I do hope you continue to live a happy life there in Gatorland.
End of Interview

Note: I'm not so sure that this dog will visit there since Gertrude has several bottles of ketchup in her paws.

I was just joking about the ketchup. Gatorland is a safe place to visit because the gators can't really get to the humans so even if the gator has a bottle of ketchup when you are there, don't worry, the gator is only dreaming.....he or she can't reach you.

By the way, there is also a store at Gatorland where you can buy gator themed items, but just so you know, you cannot buy an actual gator there no matter how much you want one.

For those who would like further information about Gatorland, the web address is;
http://www.gatorland.com/
My humans really did enjoy this attraction, and they highly recommend it for those visiting Orlando.

Demon Flash Bandit (Vacation Ideas for Humans and Dogs)