Television Program About Dogs!

I have something exciting to share with my readers today....it is a new television program centered around dogs. It is about time someone made a dog-centric television show. It isn't as good as a program starring Demon Flash Bandit would be (I've heard he is one talented dog). However, it is far better than anything the humans can come up with. Don't get me wrong...the humans are easy to entertain. I think this can be proven by watching one of the reality shows for about 3 minutes. Humans can be entertained by looking at a flea sitting around doing nothing....like a dog would sit and watch the flea show. In fact, I have even heard the humans talk about going to a flea market to buy stuff. I can guarantee you that there is nothing a flea can sell that a dog would buy! However, I am not discussing how stupid the human's shopping habits are--I'm discussing how easy it is to entertain them. They even have fishing shows. Fishing--the "sport" where you sit in a boat (or on shore) and be quiet. I fail to see how anyone would want to watch something that boring, but the humans tune in to get pointers on how to improve their "fishing". Personally, I know the best way to fish, and I bring home a big catch everytime. It is the seafood section of the supermarket. I even get to choose what kind of fish I want to eat. I have never had to invest money in fishing equipment and/or a boat. I don't know too many fishermen who can say that. The link to the wonderful new dog program is:http://on.aol.com/studio/fetching/videoid=517390796?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmaing11%7Cdl22%7Csec3_lnk1%26pLid%3D170763
Be sure and watch the show...you'll be glad you did!

Demon Flash Bandit (FisherDog)

I Want a Device that Makes Things Invisible!!!!!

A scientist in Texas is working on some new technology that can actually make items invisible. This has me so excited that I've been doing the happy dance around the house for the past hour! I'm hoping that this technology will be available soon so that I can take advantage of it. Obviously, it would have some military advantages, but I want it for a very personal reason. I happen to live in the same house with another Siberian Husky, Angel Zoom Smokey. I like Angel, and enjoy having her around--until I get something special. I keep telling her that we aren't supposed to share our treats, and that all treats are mine. This is because I am the older dog and I was here first. Being an obstinate creature who does not listen to my wisdom (I don't even think she reads my blog), she continues taking one of the treats when I have made it clear that both treats are for me! Last night each of us was handed a dingo bone. My human made a mistake and handed one to Angel when both are supposed to be handed to me. I tried to explain this to Angel Zoom Smokey, but as usual, she laid there chewing on MY dingo bone, and she ate the entire bone. I was so annoyed! However, when I got up this morning and checked over the news, I saw the article about the scientist in Texas who invented this new invisibility invention, and I knew that I need to order one as soon as it is available. The next time Angel gets my dingo bone, I will use the device to make it disappear. Then later, when she isn't around, I will make it reappear and eat it myself. In fact, anytime she annoys me, I can make her disappear. This has to be one of the greatest inventions of all time. I just hope I don't have to wait too long before it is on the market!

Demon Flash Bandit (Needs an Invisibility Device)

The Only Good Flea is a Toy Flea

Fleas are the most useless things on the planet. I don't like them. Other dogs don't like them, and most humans don't like them. This brings me to my subject for today. Since fleas are annoying, useless pests, why do the humans have flea markets? I can think of no good reason to buy or sell fleas. I know I wouldn't buy a flea, and I can't think of anyone in their right mind who would. To be fair, I'm not quite sure that the markets sell fleas, but what kind of marketing concept is it to name a market after such an annoying pest? I know you can sell some of the humans almost anything, but you would think that even the humans would hear the words, flea market, and think that perhaps there are better places in which to shop. I would like to be able to report that my humans have never been to a flea market, but I'm sure at some point in their lives they have been to one. I have even heard Mommy say that Orlando, Florida has flea markets that sell only new stuff, are indoors, have air conditioning, and are open throughout the week. I suppose that is impressive since most flea markets don't have quite that level of shopping comfort. If you ask my opinion, if you must buy a flea, Amazon has some stuffed sqeaky dog toy fleas which (at the moment) are on sale for a mere $7.94. I think the stuffed variety is the only kind of flea that anyone should even consider buying. I used to have one (it met a fate that any dog would be happy to see a flea meet), and it was a fun toy. Skip the flea market and order the flea from Amazon right from your computer. You'll be glad you did!

Demon Flash Bandit (Only Good Flea is Flea Dog Toy)

My Arch Emeny: The Flea!

Today I am going to discuss one of a dog's natural enemies: the flea. I have yet to meet a human who likes the little creatures, and yet they still live. You would think that the humans would have found a way to eradicate them by now even if they destroy the entire planet in the process. It isn't like that has ever stopped the humans from a task in the past. Usually, humans decide something needs to be done and it gets done even if doing it might not be the best thing for them. I can't tell you how many times I have watched the humans slather themselves with insect repellent before going outside. I always wonder--what is worse--the insect who might bite once and cause some itchiness or the insecticide that might end up being poison to the human down the road?

I think the reason that humans haven't killed off our arch enemy, the flea, is because they enjoy the circuses that entertain them with flea antics. I decided to interview one of the fleas in a flea circus to see what life is like for the fleas who don't bother dogs, but choose to entertain the masses. The flea's name is Peter.

Demon Flash Bandit: Hello Peter. Do you enjoy working in the flea circus?

Peter: I would prefer to suck the blood from a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit: Get away from me you little vampire.

That interview didn't go well. I managed to get away, but I think this proves my point about fleas being worthless, annoying creatures. I do hate to report that you can see Peter in an upcoming Twilight movie sequel. Peter plays another vampire love interest for Bella. The sequel is called, Love at First Bite.....wait a minute that is a good vampire movie. The sequel is called Twilight 3: For those who saw 1 and 2.

Back to the subject of fleas. Peter is not the only famous flea in the world. One of the musicians in the Red Hot Chili Peppers decided to use an "ironic name", Flea. Who would expect a flea to be named Flea? I guess he must be a talented flea to be in a band. I guess dogs are not allowed at their performances because if we were, the concert would end early and they would have lots of angry fans wanting their money back. Fleas just can't resist a dog.

There are a few business fleas too which are the entrepreneurs who invented flea markets. There are flea markets all over the country so they have done very well with the concept. In fact, I have yet to understand why people will go to the markets to buy fleas, but the humans aren't the smartest species on the planet. I can guarantee that this dog would never purchase a flea. Why would I want one?

Perhaps that is why the humans haven't eradicated the fleas yet. They probably feel stupid that they are trying to kill something they spent good money for at the flea market.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Flea Fan)