Multi-Talented Cows

Today I am going to write about our good friend, the cow. It isn't that I know any cows personally, but I am a fan of ice cream, and ice cream comes from the milk they provide. Cows, for the most part, are a friendly group. They spend most of their lives hanging around a pasture eating grass. When an animal can turn grass into something as tasty as ice cream and cheese, a dog has to admire their talent. They are easy to chat with as long as you can master saying moo, and there are breeds of dogs that enjoy herding them wherever the farmer wants them to go. Yes, life would be a lot more boring without delicious ice cream that I enjoy every night so the next time you see a cow when you are out shopping or enjoying a night on the town, be sure and tell them how much you appreciate them. For those of you who doubt that you would see them "out on the town", here is a dancing cow video for you to enjoy.
http://www.cowdance.com/

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Ice Cream)

Ben and Jerry Should Make a Demon Flash Bandit Celebrity Flavor!

Today's blog is about ice cream. It is cold, it is creamy, it is sweet and it is delicious. I enjoy having it everyday, and if I could have it more often, I would. I sometimes watch Steven Colbert on television and that other show with Jimmy Fallon, and they have their own ice cream flavors as do other celebrities. Ben and Jerry make special celebrity flavors so I only have one question? Why no Demon Flash Bandit flavor? I'm a world famous dog blogger. Doesn't a celebrity dog rate a flavor? I'm not sure if bacon flavor ice cream would taste good, but there are lots of flavors us dogs love. I love peanut butter, carob, cashews, caramel, and many other things that would taste super good in ice cream. I'm thinking caramel waffle flavor or maple syrup waffle flavor would make most of us dogs happy. By the way, I won't even eat Frosty Paws. I tasted human ice cream as a puppy, and the doggy ice cream does not measure up to my standards. Anyway, I think it would be a great marketing idea for Ben and Jerry to make a special flavor that both humans and dogs would enjoy. Don't tell them that I will eat their regular vanilla flavor--they don't need to know that. I want my own Demon Flash Bandit flavor ice cream, and I think all my readers should contact Ben and Jerry and tell them that I need a flavor of my own. I'd even be happy with milkbone flavor ice cream. It would have 2 of my treats put into one treat which means I can eat more of it. As I said yesterday, I didn't get the genius award for nothing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants My Own Ben and Jerry Ice Cream Flavor)

Giant Robot Birds Spotted Over Indiana

A UFO (unidentified flying object) was spotted over the Notre Dame stadium in South Bend, Indiana. By the way, the city is also home to the Studebaker Museum. I know this because my human Daddy has taken the family to the museum many times. However, I digest---yes, I am still digesting some Halloween candy---whoever invented the apple caramel candy corn flavor should get an award! There was a football game in South Bend, and there was a storm, and some of the humans spotted the UFOs. Hopefully, they were the humans who hadn't already had a few too many beers because the reports from humans in that condition tend to be questionable. It is a true report from non-beer drinking humans because there are even videos on the web showing what flew over. Naturally, whenever there are unusual UFO sightings, everyone always checks out my blog since I happen to be the leading expert on such things. I am the one who told everyone that the UFOs over China were only here to get some take out food. If you were a space alien hanging around in space, don't you think you would get tired of eating that horrible dried space type food they sell in all the space related museums? They have ice cream that isn't even cold. What is the point of ice cream that isn't cold? You can easily see why space aliens would want to stop in for some real Earth food! I know I would. Of course, the humans tend to get a bit upset over sightings until a dog like myself explains to them why the UFOs are here. This time I wish I could report that they are here for such a simple reason, but they are not. In fact, those objects are not spacecraft at all! They are bird robots created by the evil birds who are planning to take over the world. They sent snow to the northeastern United States so that they could send their robot birds to Indiana to see how easy it will be to take over the humans. I can only hope that the humans will listen to a dog--and the entire population of cats before it is too late. If you have a cat, and the cat wants to eat a bird, let him. Cats know that birds are evil, but humans listen to cats even less than they listen to dogs. Perhaps that is partly the cats' fault since they don't tend to like to hang out as much with the humans, and are too busy acting like they don't need anyone but themselves. They can't help it--they are cats! Anyway, it is time to declare war on the birds before it is too late, and all the humans are under the control of their feathery evil!

Demon Flash Bandit (Giant Robot Birds--Not Spacecraft!)

Ice Cream Cone Buildings--Architectural Genius!

Imagine my excitement when I discovered on the Internet that there are several ice cream buildings for sale. There are 2 Twisty Treats Ice Cream Cone buildings available in Florida that can stay where they are or be moved to a new location. I think my humans should buy one of these buildings while they are still available. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself happen to love ice cream so we would be willing to taste test the product for "quality control", and the humans would have something useful to do with their time--serve us ice cream. Sure, they could do it from a regular square or rectangular building, but owning a building shaped like an ice cream cone is much more fun. In fact, if my humans didn't want to run an ice cream shop, I think the building would make a great dog house. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself like to live in the human house, but it would be a nice place to hang out when we are outside, and the other neighborhood dogs would have a place to visit. If they leave all the ice cream equipment in the building, us dogs could make our own treats. I think that would be very cool--particularly since it is ice cream and ice cream is supposed to be cool.

I've got to go now. I printed up a copy of the information for the ice cream buildings that are for sale which I will cleverly hide in Mommy's magazine.
I can only hope my humans are as excited over this ad as I was.

Demon Flash Bandit (Ice Cream Cone Building--Architectural Genius)

Ice Cream CEO

It has been hot here, and this dog looks forward to his nightly serving of ice cream. When I say ice cream, I mean ice cream not some doggy version of ice cream. Some dogs do like Frosty Paws. However, I was with my humans when I was a little puppy, they went through drive through and Daddy ordered an ice cream cone for Mommy. As Daddy was handing the ice cream to Mommy, it was intercepted by me, Demon Flash Bandit, and I got a taste of that delicious sweet cold vanilla ice cream, this dog was not settling for a doggy substitution of that delicious bit of heaven. I know what real ice cream tastes like and that is what I want.

This brings me to a story from Mommy's childhood. Mommy is not a young person. In fact, she is so old that if she were a dog, she would have exited this plane of existence a long time ago. Most of us dogs are familiar with the ice cream trucks that go through the neighborhoods in the summer that play music and kids can stop them and buy ice cream. I would love to stop them myself, but when a dog is on a leash, you can't just run and stop the truck anytime you want a nice cold tasty ice cream. Evidently, when Mommy was young, there were actually men who went through her neighborhood on foot pushing a cart filled with ice cream. This peaked my interest because, since I am a sled dog, I am very strong, and I know I could pull a small freezer full of ice cream since it is on wheels and would be easy to pull. I once pulled a shed as a puppy. Yes, my humans learned that, even as a puppy, I can pull a lot of weight. Anyway, if I could locate one of these treasures, I could carry ice cream with me everywhere I go so that myself and my friends could have a snack anytime we want. In fact, this dog could even go into business as an ice cream dog. I'm not sure if I would make any money after helping myself to the product, but at least I would love my work. I already have a toy store on the Internet (http://www.demondigstoys.weebly.com/) and I could be wrong, but I think I am the only dog operating a human toy store on the Internet. Stop by and visit whether you buy or not---I have a blog about toys on there too, and I think it is brilliant and very entertaining. I hope I can locate one of those freezers on wheels and start a new business. Maybe I can trick Angel Zoom Smokey into doing the work for me. She can be the hired employee and I can be the CEO. It is just that kind of business plan that has made me the successful dog I am now. I just hope Angel Zoom Smokey doesn't read this blog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Ice Cream CEO)

Burger King--Burgers For Royalty and Dog Toys for Children

Burger King, the wonderful restaurant that makes my favorite hamburgers is now giving out toys with their children's meals and they are dogs from the movie, Marmaduke. I am so pleased with Burger King's good taste-both in making my delicious burgers and in promoting a wonderful dog movie. Mommy has yet to see the movie, but I'm sure she will see it soon. What human could pass up seeing a movie with dogs starring in it? Sure, a few of the stupid humans with bad taste won't see it, but who cares what they think? I know I don't.

It is about time I blogged about the greatest food ever served to dogkind. It is only appropriate that their mascot is a king because their burgers are good enough for royalty--unlike one of their competitors that chose a stupid clown to promote their company. I feel it is wrong to mention names, but if I had to choose between a burger that a king likes and one a clown likes, there would be no contest. You know the king is going to get the best burger. However, I do enjoy the ice cream and bacon at the clown's restaurant so they aren't all bad. This dog is not picky when it comes to ice cream except that I prefer it in a sundae cup. One time Mommy dipped it out of a regular ice cream container, and I refused to eat it. I do not like to be given cheaper alternatives. Anyway, Burger King, you have the Demon Flash Bandit seal of approval, and I have a cool photo of myself wearing one of your crowns and eating one of your burgers that you can have for advertising if you would slip a dog a couple of extra burgers. We don't have to tell the humans about the deal......I don't want to share.LOL

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Burger King)