Demon Flash Bandit: Interior Decorator

I've had a busy day decorating the house so that it looks good. I know I've done a good job because Doghouse Beautiful magazine wants to feature my house on its next cover. I am so proud of myself. For those of you who think it is easy to keep a house looking good, you would be wrong. I had to get up early, go outside, and find some mud puddles. Once my paws were muddy, I was able to give the floors that "a dog lives here" look that is so popular among the humans. Next I knocked over the garbage and scattered it (lovingly) around the house. It is little touches like the scattered garbage that makes the humans feel at home in their houses. I then shredded some kleenex to give it that snowy effect that makes everyone feel like they are on the ski slope. I buried some milkbones in various spots because hunting for milkbone is always a fun activity. I had to go outside again to get more mud on my paws so that I could decorate the walls with paw prints--I don't know if you have heard, but paw prints are a big fashion must this season (and every season if you ask my opinion). I spent the entire day working on the house, but by the time I was done, it was a house that Martha Stewart herself would be proud to call her own. Be sure and pick up a copy of Doghouse Beautiful Magazine's April edition so that you can see for yourself what a wonderful decorator I am.

Demon Flash Bandit (Decorator Demon Flash Bandit)

Demon Flash Bandit With Kung Fu Grip

There was no blog yesterday because my human took the day off-without my permission. I don't know why the humans get some of these weird ideas in their heads about getting days off when a dog has not authorized an off day. I should start paying my human so I can fire her, but on the other paw, then who would type my blog? When I get money, I buy dingo bones and Burger King. I don't want to pay for typing.

My humans went to see a movie yesterday. They saw True Grit. There used to be a newspaper named Grit which is now a magazine. It has been in print for a long time so I bet it is about its early years because I noticed in its trailer that the humans were dressed in very old fashioned clothing which made it look like a western. My humans said it is an excellent movie. Mommy said it is better than the original movie, which starred John Wayne. John Wayne was a very popular actor in the past, but this dog has noticed that he always played the same basic character so, realistically, he probably was not a great actor, but he was smart enough to pick roles that suited him.

The humans ate at Cracker Barrel, and Mommy had chicken and dumplings. Angel, who happens to love chicken told me she knew what they had for dinner because she could smell the chicken on their breath. She was not pleased that the humans had chicken, and they didn't bring home a dinner for her. I told her that it was okay because the chicken is the important thing--we dogs can live without the stupid vegetables.

Jeff bought an Avatar action figure, and I took off with it. I don't usually care about Jeff's toys, but this one was interesting. I did not want to give it up. Jeff is 25 years old and I am 7 years old so I fail to see why he should want a toy when a dog of my age doesn't get it. I think I have outgrown the plush squeaky puppy toys and I'm ready to play with big dog toys. I think Mommy is going to buy me one the next time she goes to the store which I hope is soon. I told her that I would like a GI Husky action figure with kung fu grip. It would be cool to have a dog who can beat up annoying humans with one paw. The next time I read about a dog who has been abused, I could use my action figure's kung fu grip to go after the offending human. It would be nice to go after Michael Vick. He deserves to be smacked with a kung fu grip after the dog fighting in which he was involved.

I hope that I will get to see True Grit soon. Why should a dog always have to wait for the blu rays and dvd release?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants Kung Fu Grip)

Ice Cream Cone Buildings--Architectural Genius!

Imagine my excitement when I discovered on the Internet that there are several ice cream buildings for sale. There are 2 Twisty Treats Ice Cream Cone buildings available in Florida that can stay where they are or be moved to a new location. I think my humans should buy one of these buildings while they are still available. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself happen to love ice cream so we would be willing to taste test the product for "quality control", and the humans would have something useful to do with their time--serve us ice cream. Sure, they could do it from a regular square or rectangular building, but owning a building shaped like an ice cream cone is much more fun. In fact, if my humans didn't want to run an ice cream shop, I think the building would make a great dog house. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself like to live in the human house, but it would be a nice place to hang out when we are outside, and the other neighborhood dogs would have a place to visit. If they leave all the ice cream equipment in the building, us dogs could make our own treats. I think that would be very cool--particularly since it is ice cream and ice cream is supposed to be cool.

I've got to go now. I printed up a copy of the information for the ice cream buildings that are for sale which I will cleverly hide in Mommy's magazine.
I can only hope my humans are as excited over this ad as I was.

Demon Flash Bandit (Ice Cream Cone Building--Architectural Genius)