Thursday, November 11, 2010

How To Show Class

For those of you who have not read some of my earlier posts, The Queen of England made a visit to New York City and there was a news story at that time about how she has had to cut back several million dollars on her household expenses. I felt bad for the Queen Lady so I offered her a job mowing my yard. Of course, she was thrilled at the opportunity to make extra money, and I shared several of the letters we exchanged back and forth about the possible trip. She was never able to come and mow the yard, but she really wanted to, and maybe she can earn some extra money next year.

Today I am reminded of the Queen Lady because she is a very classy lady (she has to be--she is royalty), and I was touched at how classy my humans can be at times. Normally, Mommy buys kleenex for the computer room, but we ran out of kleenex, and Mommy forgot to buy more when she was out yesterday. The solution to the problem is one of the classiest things I have ever experienced in this family. When I walked into the computer room to write my blog this morning, sitting next to the computer is a roll of toilet paper which I needed right away since I started crying. I'm such a lucky dog to live in such a classy family.

I think they could have only picked up that kind of class from the Queen Lady. I have never had the privilege of visiting her palace, but I have chatted with her dogs, and they have told me about all the treasures in the place. By the way, it shows taste and class for a human to have dogs. Some of them don't have dogs as pets, and I just feel sorry for them. However, I will stick with the subject at hand--the classy art that fills Buckingham Palace. The Queen Lady does not brag about these items and that is the classy thing to do. However, this dog wants to bring culture to the masses. Remember, do not feel bad if you can't afford these kinds of classy things. I would suggest you call up the Topeka Zoo and see if you can order some of the classy elephant poo items by mail. Believe me, the Queen is investing in the $25.00 ones. I'm not saying they will go up in value, but one never knows. WINK WINK

When you enter the Grand Hall, you will see some pictures of past rulers of England. Then there is the painting used in the Blackadder television series in which Bolrick paints what he ate for breakfast--(once it is in his stomach of course). Then there is the velvet Elvis painting. HINT: For a touch of real class and elegance in your house, make sure there is at least one painting on velvet. The painting that has Christmas lights on it that light up was a real find. I can't tell you how many art museums were fighting over that one before the Queen beat them to it. It is good to be the Queen! The painting of the clown picking his nose is quite a victory for the Queen. The Louve in France was after that one, but once again, don't mess with the Queen Lady! There is the one with Michael Jackson surrounded by young boys and he is smiling. Personally, I think that one might be a bit creepy, but on the other hand, having King Henry VIII's wives heads on display is considered creepy by many humans, but they are wax replicas, and some guy named Prince Vlad toured the palace, and he thought they were lovely. It goes to show you that there is always some controversy in the art world. The dogs were particularly annoyed at one piece of art--the Thinker on the Toilet. They said it is like he is using their watering dish and bragging about it to the world. I can see their point about that. I also would be remiss if I didn't mention the Popsicle replica of London Bridge. I found that to be breath-taking. Some dog had to eat a lot of Popsicles to build that sculpture. It makes a dog appreciate what artists do for their craft.

There is an entire room filled with collectible plates. The plates are kind of a personal matter--some argue that Nascar plates are classier than Gone With the Wind Plates, but there is always some room for individual taste. Invest in what you enjoy--don't let other humans push you around. They have all been going down in value. WINK WINK

I hope that after reading this blog, my readers will go back to their lives more intelligent and classy than they were before they read this blog. My job is to educate the humans who don't have a classy dog to explain these kinds of things to them. Until tomorrow....

Demon Flash Bandit (Classy Dog)

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