Cell Phones for Dogs

Today is Thanksgiving, and I have decided to write about the things that I am most thankful that I have. First, of course, are my humans who take care of me, and love me. However, there are also many other things that make life worth living. Dingo bones, milkbones, rawhide bones, real bones....you might have noticed a theme, and it is true--I do enjoy a good bone! I also enjoy my toys. I don't play with them as much as I did when I was a puppy, but I still like to get new toys and I like to have them around to make me feel important. Now if only the humans will get me my own cell phone so that I can bark with my doggy pals, that would make life even better. Believe me, I have listened to the converstions the humans have, and nothing they have to say is that important. I have far more important things to bark about! I guess I'll have to ask Santa Paws for one because the humans don't seem to think a dog needs his own cell phone. Once again, the humans should not be allowed to think...it is too hard for them.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs His Own Cell Phone)

Turkeys Don't Deserve a Pardon!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States, and I have to say that even though my family will be eating our tradtitional Thanksgiving pizza, I am glad that many families will be eating turkey. Turkeys are birds, and this dog hates birds! Therefore, Thanksgiving is a holiday that is dedicated to killing our feathered enemies. Yes, when you take a bite out of that turkey, you can think about all the birds who left their "bird bombs" on your possessions or even your person. They go around dropping those bombs wherever they please like they own the planet. I might add that 2 turkeys get a Presidential pardon every year. Where do those birds get to live? Disneyland...yeah, they get to live out their lives having fun yet dogs aren't allowed into Disneyland. This is what happens when you have an entertainment complex run by a mouse. He does allow Goofy and Pluto, but of course, they are working at the park. It isn't like they can sit back and enjoy themselves like those pardoned turkeys. It does not seem fair to this dog, but as all of us know, life is not fair. I do promise that if I am elected President, I will not pardon any turkeys at Thanksgiving. There is no way I could let a bird go free. It is against my instincts as a dog to do so. Besides, if they were not guilty of being turkeys, they would not need a pardon. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Pardoning Turkeys)

Latest Action Figures!

For those of you who are fans of the royal family, I have some great news for you. For those of you who read my recent blog about British accents, I am barking this one with a British accent since it is about the royal family. Now you can buy an action figure of Kate Middleton or her sister Pippa. These action figures are being manufactured by Herobuilders toys, and it is a company in the United States. You would think a company in Great Britain would see the demand for these action figures, but evidently, they did not. I'm sure that they would be a great addition for those who enjoy playing with action figures. You don't even necessarily need to play with them, but you can display the figures for that "I'm displaying a member of the royal family so I have good taste" type of person. However, playing with them would be awesome. I can just see Kate being the villain and fighting a Superman action figure. Perhaps she is the good guy and is being annoyed by the Joker. The scenarios are endless, and all the good fun provided because a smart company saw the need for making the two women into action figures! I know it is something to be thankful for so it is great that the items came onto the market so close to Thanksgiving. I can just imagine how many families will be sitting around the traditional pizza dinner being thankful for the new action figures. How many prayers of thanks will be offered for such a magnificent item? I bet people haven't been this excited about a product since Larry the Cable Guy wrote a book! I'm sure my readers are thinking, Demon, we love reading what you have to say, but please let us know more about this product so that is just what I plan to do now. Here is the web address so you can see this item for yourself:
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/see-kate-and-pippa-middletons-weird-muscular-action-figures-2011811

Be sure and order yours before they run out. Remember, it would make a great Christmas gift!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Kate Middleton and Pippa Action Figures)

Pass the Pizza and Burger King

Mommy offered me turkey for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Although I do approve of the killing and eating of stupid birds, I declined to eat the turkey. I got my usual Burger King, which was delicious, and I ate some of the ham and bacon off Mommy's pizza. Whether you had the traditional Thanksgiving pizza or something entirely different, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it is time for a dog to start making that special list for Santa Paws. I have been very good this year so I'm sure he will bring me lots of stuff-as always.

Mommy didn't make it to any sales today. She had planned to, but the car was making some odd noises. I think it just didn't want to bother with the crowd. I suspect Mommy wasn't anxious to deal with the crowds either. I don't think there was anything she really needed anyway. For those who braved the crowds, I hope your shopping trips were pleasant.

I am beginning to feel a nap coming on. Thanks for reading what a dog has to say. It always makes me feel good to see that other dogs and people have read my blog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Looking forward to Christmas)

The True Story of the First Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers. I hope everyone has something to be thankful for this year. I personally am thankful for Burger King and doggy treats and, of course, my humans and my friends.

I watched the Thanksgiving parade from Detroit, Michigan this morning on television, and I enjoyed watching it. I do think the caterpillar they had reading the news was silly. I have met some caterpillars, and they do not impress me as readers. I think they should have had a dog instead. We dogs not only know how to read, but as my blog, and many others prove, we can write too.

The new outdoor Christmas decoration with a husky inside Santa's boot is now ready for display. I can understand why Mommy bought it. Who could resist an adorable husky?

The house is filled with the aroma of turkey even though the humans are ordering the traditional Thanksgiving pizza. This has Angel Zoom Smokey and myself excited because I suspect we will get some turkey for ourselves. We both prefer turkey to pizza.

For those of you who might need to be reminded why the United States celebrates Thanksgiving, I will now quickly recap the history behind the holiday. Many years ago when the Europeans found the new world that the native Americans had discovered many centuries before, they decided to start colonies in this new land. It was rough in the beginning. These hardy pioneers did not have electricity or indoor plumbing. They didn't even have a Burger King drive thru in which to get their food. Thus, the natives felt sorry for them because the natives knew how to survive in the new world. They knew where all the good restaurants and hotels were located, but since they didn't speak the same language, it was hard to communicate, One day the natives took pity on the pioneers and used pictures to invite them to dinner. They ordered pizza from Pizza Hut, and the pioneers were so happy to finally have found a good restaurant that they managed to survive and thrive here in the new world. In fact, it wasn't long before they discovered pizza coupons so their place in the new world was secured. Many years later, Lincoln, who was elected President due to his popularity (he was on the penny so he was a household name), said that there should be a day of thanks for pizza. This is because he was so fond of pizza that it was said that if he couldn't get pizza everyday; he would go into pizza withdrawal. His aides would have to go and find him pizza or he would not be able to function. This was made easier by the car he invented, the Lincoln. I might add that this dog likes Lincolns, and enjoys riding around in luxury. I also like a car big enough that I can stretch my paws out when I'm riding. I know there are some bogus stories of the first Thanksgiving. However, I did some vast research on this subject and was able to find some rare documents in the Library of Congress. My narration is the factual story of the first Thanksgiving. By the way, turkeys were unimportant on that first Thanksgiving just as birds are unimportant now. This dog is fighting the birds' propaganda by relating the truth.

I hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving, and may everyone's tummies be full at the end of the day. Enjoy the traditional pizza!

Demon Flash Bandit (Historian)

Happy Thanksgiving!

The bad thing about having relatives work for you is that they tend to take advantage of a dog's good nature. My blog was not written yesterday because the human who does my typing for me decided to go to the Purple Rose Theatre in Chelsea, Michigan to see a play written by Jeff Daniels. He also founded the theatre in Chelsea. Although writing my blog should be more important to her than going to a play, the humans have an odd sense of priorities. Anyway, she is home today, and I told her that she had better sit down and listen to what I have to say and type it accurately because there are readers who are waiting to read my words of wisdom---as usual. I was a diary pick on http://www.dogster.com/, and she didn't even type my diary entry, and my readers were all disappointed.

I have some good news to annouce. The local Burger King will be open on Thanksgiving. Finally, my letters to the corporation have been heard. A dog gets hungry on holidays too. The great thing about Burger King is that it is run by the King so whatever he says is how it will be. I bet he read my letters and issued an order to the corporation--stay open so a dog can get his food on a holiday. I hope they decide to stay open on Christmas too!

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I think my humans should start thinking about how thankful they should be that I put up with them. Sure, they are good to me, but I have been kind enough to stay and let them feed me Burger King and buy me dingo bones. They should be thankful for my kindness. I hope everyone out there has a happy Thanksgiving, and although the traditional Thanksgiving pizza is tasty, cooking up a bird like a turkey helps in the fight against global warming in our never ending war with birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Wishing My Readers a Happy Thanksgiving)

Today Is My Birthday!

I'm a bit later writing today than usual because I have been celebrating all day. Today is my birthday, and I have been having a great time. I got a toy chicken with 2 squeakys, and I love squeakys. I also got some dingo bones filled with chicken. I had Burger King for dinner, and I will get more presents tomorrow. Angel Zoom Smokey is happy too because Mommy gets her the same stuff so she won't be jealous. I have also been engaging in one of my favorite past times. If you are assuming I was taking a nice long nap, you would be correct. Napping is a hobby of mine.

I was looking through some ads, and I see that computer companies have finally made a computer for dogs called a netbook. I know it is for dogs because it is smaller than the human computers so that it is easier for a dog to carry with him when he goes places. This is very a very exciting thing for us dogs. We no longer have to depend on the humans to do our typing for us. Of course, I will continue to use Mommy as my typist because she works free, and it saves me a lot of work. However, it is still nice for me to have my own computer.

I was checking over the groceries that came into the house yesterday, and I'm a bit confused. There was a turkey. Now I am wondering if we are going to have our traditional Thanksgiving pizza or if there will be turkey. I guess it will be a surprise!

I plan to get back to my birthday celebration, and take a nap. I hope everyone had as nice a day as I have had.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birthday Dog)

Pizza for Dinner--and it Wasn't Even Thanksgiving!

My humans ordered pizza yesterday, and since it is November, Angel Zoom Smokey and myself were wondering if it was Thanksgiving. The traditional Thanksgiving meal around here is pizza. Sure, there was a time when it was a larger meal, but since the family has dwindled in size, and everyone likes pizza, it just seems to make sense to order a couple of pizzas. Mommy says she is thankful she isn't cooking. Anyway, it was confusing for Angel Zoom Smokey and myself, but it was not Thanksgiving so I'm assuming that there will be more pizza on that day. Angel and I like it when Mommy orders pizza since Mommy gives us the ham off her pizza, and ham is delicious! Since it is November, I will be having to give some thought to the things I want Santa Paws to bring me for Christmas. Christmas only comes once a year so a dog does not want to miss the chance to ask for cool things from the Big Guy. He has always been good to this dog, but this dog is a good dog. I have never been on the naughty list--okay maybe the time I got into the craft paint and my nose was orange, but I was so cute that I don't think that counts. I was also just a puppy at the time. I better go and start looking through some dog toy catalogs so I will have some things for which to ask Santa Paws to bring to me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Christmas)

Turkey: Delicious Dead Bird

Last night my humans kept telling me I was being a bad dog, but I maintain that they were being stupid humans. I suppose the most logical place to start this blog is at the beginning. I like to take naps during the day, and I usually hold no interest in the food the humans are eating for dinner. Why should I bother to wake up when I know that I will have my own food catered for me later when I am hungry? Yesterday was not a normal day. My humans had roasted turkey breast. I had no idea that they were having such a rare delicacy nor did they know I would want any since I tend to turn down food I haven't tried in the past. My motto is "why take risks with my taste buds?". As usual, Angel Zoom Smokey was right there with the humans getting her share and enjoying it. When I woke up, she came up and breathed on me, and I could smell the turkey on her breath. Yes, dead bird on her breath and none for me. What were my humans thinking? They tried feeding me Burger King. I didn't eat. They tried feeding me chicken and I refused to eat. They would have just assumed that I wasn't hungry except that I did my usual "hungry dog" behavior. I started climbing on furniture, and scratching the wooden foot of Mommy's bed. This gets the humans' attention. It took them several hours, but they finally realized that I wanted turkey. Once I got turkey and my tummy was full, I went back to the sweet, good dog that is my usual disposition. Angel Zoom Smokey could no longer taunt me with the delicious smell of turkey on her breath, and I have put in a vote for turkey when Thanksgiving rolls around. Mommy says pizza is the traditional Thanksgiving menu, but I think we should throw caution to the wind and eat turkey. It is delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Add Turkey to My List of Favorite Foods)