Frosted Bones are Delicious!

Today is Angel Zoom Smokey's birthday which is nice for me since the humans give me the same gifts they give her so that both of us will be happy. I must admit that I think this shows intelligence on the part of my humans since many of the humans don't have that kind of dog sense. Angel and I have already received a big birthday frosted bone which was quite tasty. My brother had to be at work at the undogly hour of noon today so the humans woke us early. I don't think a dog should have to wake up before noon so this is why, as a dog, I think the humans must be stupid to work. If he didn't work, all of us could have slept later. I suspect that Angel and I are going to get some new dingo treats today in addition to the toys we will get later today. I might add that I endorse the new chewy bones that Dingo has brought to the market. I had some mega meat chewy bones a couple of days ago and they were delicious. I hope my readers are enjoying a nice weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Likes Frosted Bones)

My Birthday Should be a National Holiday!

Today is my birthday! I am now 8 years old which is also 8 years old in doggy years because I plan to live for another century or two. I am annoyed that my brother Jeff had to work today because I think my birthday should be a national holiday. I have written Congress about this idea, but they are too busy bickering over the budget. I could solve that problem in about 2 minutes and still have time for a nap. I would raise the taxes on the super rich. They won't miss the little bit of extra money since they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. Since some of the Congress humans are against the idea, I would bite some butt until they change their mind and see my logic. The problem with humans is that they aren't willing to put their teeth into a problem. This is why more dogs should be in Congress. We know how to "take a bite out of a problem". Then Congress could get to more important issues-like making my birthday a national holiday. Yes, I think we could all use a Demon Flash Bandit day!

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants my Own Holiday)

Party for 3,000 Year Old, Pants for Puss and Boots, and Crazy Date at Taco Bell

The United Kingdom has been having more than its share of problems lately. There were the riots in London which were very sad to hear about. Now a 3,000 year old has been found in an Irish bog and everyone is at a loss to find a theme for the birthday party. Let's face it, most people aren't around for their 3,000th birthday so it should be something special, but at the same time, it isn't like the person is a member of the royal family so it doesn't require too much elegance. However, you know that the news is going to bore everyone to death with the party coverage so it can't just be an ordinary party. I am willing to offer my services are party coordinator. Since the honoree has been hanging out for centuries in a bog, I think the person won't be that picky about the theme, but you do have to please the media circus. I'll keep you updated on this situation as I hear more about it.

The news story that upset me the most is about Puss and Boots and his unwillingness to wear pants. You can see this video at:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/12/puss-in-boots-explains-hi_n_924965.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl3%7Csec3_lnk2%7C86130
Personally, I think it is okay for a dog not to wear pants, but cats should wear them. That is my opinion so, therefore, it is fact!

I have to share this story from the news about a worker at Taco Bell in Ringgold, GA who was in love with a co-worker who didn't share his interest. You know how some of the humans don't like to take no for an answer, and he is one of them. He handcuffed her to him, and is now in the Catoosa County Jail. I think he should have contacted one of those "experts on manners" humans to ask what to do because I don't think handcuffing yourself to a potential date is ever considered good manners.

I've got to go now and research possible birthday themes in case I am needed to coordinate that aforementioned birthday party!

Demon Flash Bandit (Coordinator)

Just Plain Demon Flash Bandit is Okay

Prince Philip celebrated his 90th birthday, and was given a new title by Queen Elizabeth. He is now Lord High Admiral of the Royal Navy. I want to go on record stating that titles might mean something to the humans. However, if you are getting a birthday gift for this dog, skip the title, and think toys and/or treats. It isn't like I'm going to come any faster when called if I have more titles added to my name. In fact, I have been known not to bother to come when the humans call me if I know it is over something stupid (which is basically anything that disturbs me when I'm not in the mood to be disturbed). I guess it is nice that the humans are so easily pleased. Companies take advantage of this when they skip giving a raise and give the human a new title instead. Personally, I don't care if you are a janitor or "executive in Charge of Maintaining Cleanliness", all that really matters to this dog is the pay. If I can't buy any extra treats, what is the point? It is just more trouble for me to tell people what I do. Of course, being a dog, I'm far too intelligent to actually work for money. I leave that to the humans. You would think they would learn that they are going to work everyday while their dogs are napping, but the humans never seem to realize how silly they are. I have no intention of telling them since I like how the system works. If it works, you don't try to fix it. Anyway, I hope Prince Philip is happy with his new title. Maybe when he is 100, he will be given the title, Assistant to the Queen.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Does Not Need a Title)

Today Is My Birthday!

I'm a bit later writing today than usual because I have been celebrating all day. Today is my birthday, and I have been having a great time. I got a toy chicken with 2 squeakys, and I love squeakys. I also got some dingo bones filled with chicken. I had Burger King for dinner, and I will get more presents tomorrow. Angel Zoom Smokey is happy too because Mommy gets her the same stuff so she won't be jealous. I have also been engaging in one of my favorite past times. If you are assuming I was taking a nice long nap, you would be correct. Napping is a hobby of mine.

I was looking through some ads, and I see that computer companies have finally made a computer for dogs called a netbook. I know it is for dogs because it is smaller than the human computers so that it is easier for a dog to carry with him when he goes places. This is very a very exciting thing for us dogs. We no longer have to depend on the humans to do our typing for us. Of course, I will continue to use Mommy as my typist because she works free, and it saves me a lot of work. However, it is still nice for me to have my own computer.

I was checking over the groceries that came into the house yesterday, and I'm a bit confused. There was a turkey. Now I am wondering if we are going to have our traditional Thanksgiving pizza or if there will be turkey. I guess it will be a surprise!

I plan to get back to my birthday celebration, and take a nap. I hope everyone had as nice a day as I have had.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birthday Dog)