Turkeys Don't Deserve a Pardon!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States, and I have to say that even though my family will be eating our tradtitional Thanksgiving pizza, I am glad that many families will be eating turkey. Turkeys are birds, and this dog hates birds! Therefore, Thanksgiving is a holiday that is dedicated to killing our feathered enemies. Yes, when you take a bite out of that turkey, you can think about all the birds who left their "bird bombs" on your possessions or even your person. They go around dropping those bombs wherever they please like they own the planet. I might add that 2 turkeys get a Presidential pardon every year. Where do those birds get to live? Disneyland...yeah, they get to live out their lives having fun yet dogs aren't allowed into Disneyland. This is what happens when you have an entertainment complex run by a mouse. He does allow Goofy and Pluto, but of course, they are working at the park. It isn't like they can sit back and enjoy themselves like those pardoned turkeys. It does not seem fair to this dog, but as all of us know, life is not fair. I do promise that if I am elected President, I will not pardon any turkeys at Thanksgiving. There is no way I could let a bird go free. It is against my instincts as a dog to do so. Besides, if they were not guilty of being turkeys, they would not need a pardon. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Pardoning Turkeys)

Make Mine a Diamond Shaped Egg

Astronomers have made the announcement that there is a planet that might be one big diamond. Jewelers are presently making plans to build a spaceship to go and get the diamond. I'm just wondering where they plan to put it because it would be one BIG diamond! I personally was not excited over this news. If they discover a planet made solely of bacon, then I will be interested in going there. Bacon happens to be delicious, but except for the dog I read about in the news yesterday who ate some diamonds, most of us dogs don't think diamonds taste that good. It is amazing just how much the humans will pay for shiny things. I even saw on the news that a jewelry store was robbed by a group of clowns (maybe it was that Joker character from the Batman movie). The joke was on the robbers since the jewelry they stole was fake. I bet when they got it home, they were not happy to find that out. If you want to read the details, here is the address:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/25/clowns-steal-fake-jewelry_n_936430.html

I have always refused to eat eggs, but I know a lot of dogs do like them (including Angel Zoom Smokey) so I like to share interesting things I discover while doing research for my blog. Today I found an egg cuber on Amazon.com which allows eggs to be square. I suppose it is to make them easier to eat, but who knows why the humans come up with some of these products? A dog would never waste time inventing a gadget like that since the dog would just eat the egg as is. We don't worry a lot about how the food looks-we are more concerned with taste. Anyway, if you want something that will make eggs square, be sure and go to the this address:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=egg+cuber&x=14&y=12 I think I might order this product and then stick the square egg under a hen. I bet that would be one really freaked out chicken.

Demon Flash Bandit (Diamond Shaped Eggs Would be Cool)

Evil Robot Vacuum Cleaners

I was reading about a retired army colonel, John Alexander, who says that UFOs are real. He has written a book on the subject. I have known this since I was a puppy. In fact, we have an alien creature in our house which has infiltrated our home to the point that I don't even think the humans realize it is an extraterrestrial. In fact, just about every home has one, and the humans are totally clueless as to its origin. That item is an evil robot vacuum cleaner from the planet, Dustiless, which is from a galaxy far, far away!!! These alien robots have been sneaking into our society for so many years that the humans even "invite" them into their homes. The humans may be easily fooled, but not us dogs. We know they are evil robots from another planet. In fact, most dogs will bark incessantly whenever they are turned on. I'm still wondering why the humans turn them on in the first place, but humans aren't as smart as dogs. Anyway, the evil alien robots make a lot of noise and then they steal all a dog's favorite things--dirt, our fur that is laying around the house, crumbs, etc. The saddest thing about their thefts is that the humans don't even mind them being thieves. They act like the things the evil robots take make the place look better. Again, dogs differ with their opinion. What is a dog to do? When the humans aren't looking, try biting the stupid robot vacuum cleaner. Remember, it is a dog's job to protect their human from his own stupidity. Good luck and remember, robot vacuum cleaners can be clever. Don't let them fool you into thinking they are okay. They are EVIL!

Demon Flash Bandit (Protecting my Humans From Evil Robot Vacuum Cleaners)

New Planet Discovered In Milky Way Galaxy

There is exciting news in astronomy today. It seems that a new planet has been found in the our galaxy, the Milky Way. There are 500 planets in our galaxy, but this new one is from another galaxy that was absorbed by the Milky Way many years ago. The planet was found orbiting a star called HIP 13044, and it is 2,000 light years away.

I'm sure that my readers, like myself, are wondering if this will affect our horoscopes. I happen to be a Scorpio, and I wonder if the predictions for my life need to be modified due to the discovery of this "new planet". I will now share my "unmodified" horoscope for today that I got from the Internet
http://horoscopes.mydaily.com/astrology/scorpio/

"You may be unwilling to seek common ground with a partner today even if it has the potential to make your life simpler. However, you aren't interested in compromising away your integrity. Although it appears that the other person is being difficult, it may be you who is being stubborn at this time. Keep in mind that the outcome of a disagreement now is not important as it seems. The health of a relationship is what ultimately matters."

The only partnership in my life is with my humans or Angel Zoom Smokey, and I suspect the stars are referring to Angel. I think the compromise in question probably involves a rawhide bone because she is always trying to take my rawhide bones from me. Letting her have my bones would be a horrible compromise. Sure, life may be simpler, but it would be simpler because I don't have a rawhide bone, and this dog does not sacrifice the integrity of my rawhide bones just to have a "simpler life". As you can see, my horoscope is so accurate that I can only assume that the stars are watching Angel Zoom Smokey and myself on a regular basis. I hope, if the discovery of this new planet compromises the outcome of my horoscope in any way, that the astrologers will be busy working on the new, improved horoscope so that a dog knows what to expect everyday.

I am quite surprised that they haven't discovered more new planets absorbed into the Milky Way galaxy. If I were a planet, I would head for the Milky Way myself. It is one delicious candy bar so what planet wouldn't want to be here instead of some other stupid galaxy that has no candy? I know I would head for the candy if I were a planet.

It is time for me to get back to my napping. TDIF--Thank Dog It's Friday!

Demon Flash Bandit (Scorpio)