Secretary Should Not Take the Day Off

My secretary took off today, and that is why my blog is being written so late. I would deduct the time from her pay if I actually paid her. At least she dropped off my hamburgers before she took off for the day! She had some shopping to do--I checked my stash. I had plenty of rawhide bones, milkbones, and dingo bones so there was nothing important she had to shop for today. I checked the bags when she got home, and all she had was stupid stuff....not one thing I would have purchased. This is why dogs should be allowed in stores. The humans can't be trusted to do their own shopping. Without their dogs, they are useless!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Should Do the Shopping)

Doggy Psychiatrists

I am not the only dog in this household. I share the house with another Siberian Husky named Angel Zoom Smokey. Angel is a nice dog for the most part, but one thing I have learned from her is that living with someone who is mentally ill is not an easy task. It it made even worse by a society that does not always recognize the seriousness of mental illness. The worst part is that Angel is not seeing a doggy psychiatrist which is sad not only for her own happiness, but also for mine. Fortunately, I live with a couple of humans who have advanced psychology textbooks from college courses they took so I have studied these book at length and I am now qualified to discuss Angel Zoom Smokey's diagnosis. Angel Zoom Smokey is suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You might ask how I came to that conclusion. It was actually quite simple. Every night we are both given rawhide bones, and I like to take hers once she has chewed on it for awhile. It is a lot of work to chew a rawhide bone from its beginning, and it is nicer when it is "pre-chewed". Of course, I bark at her to give it to me, and she refuses and keeps it for herself. Thus, the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If she were mentally healthy, she would give me the rawhide bone. In fact, the humans say that they would consider pre-chewing the bones for me to keep me from whining, but that would not solve Angel Zoom Smokey's mental problems. Angel is so lucky that she is living with such an intelligent and understanding mentally healthy dog like myself.

Demon Flash Bandit (Prefers Pre-Chewed Rawhide Bones)

New Planet Discovered In Milky Way Galaxy

There is exciting news in astronomy today. It seems that a new planet has been found in the our galaxy, the Milky Way. There are 500 planets in our galaxy, but this new one is from another galaxy that was absorbed by the Milky Way many years ago. The planet was found orbiting a star called HIP 13044, and it is 2,000 light years away.

I'm sure that my readers, like myself, are wondering if this will affect our horoscopes. I happen to be a Scorpio, and I wonder if the predictions for my life need to be modified due to the discovery of this "new planet". I will now share my "unmodified" horoscope for today that I got from the Internet
http://horoscopes.mydaily.com/astrology/scorpio/

"You may be unwilling to seek common ground with a partner today even if it has the potential to make your life simpler. However, you aren't interested in compromising away your integrity. Although it appears that the other person is being difficult, it may be you who is being stubborn at this time. Keep in mind that the outcome of a disagreement now is not important as it seems. The health of a relationship is what ultimately matters."

The only partnership in my life is with my humans or Angel Zoom Smokey, and I suspect the stars are referring to Angel. I think the compromise in question probably involves a rawhide bone because she is always trying to take my rawhide bones from me. Letting her have my bones would be a horrible compromise. Sure, life may be simpler, but it would be simpler because I don't have a rawhide bone, and this dog does not sacrifice the integrity of my rawhide bones just to have a "simpler life". As you can see, my horoscope is so accurate that I can only assume that the stars are watching Angel Zoom Smokey and myself on a regular basis. I hope, if the discovery of this new planet compromises the outcome of my horoscope in any way, that the astrologers will be busy working on the new, improved horoscope so that a dog knows what to expect everyday.

I am quite surprised that they haven't discovered more new planets absorbed into the Milky Way galaxy. If I were a planet, I would head for the Milky Way myself. It is one delicious candy bar so what planet wouldn't want to be here instead of some other stupid galaxy that has no candy? I know I would head for the candy if I were a planet.

It is time for me to get back to my napping. TDIF--Thank Dog It's Friday!

Demon Flash Bandit (Scorpio)

Humans Are Ungrateful!

I am so pleased that Mother Nature added a whole hour this weekend for this dog to enjoy. Getting up at noon everyday is hard on a dog! Then I have a diary to write on Dogster.com and this blog. I have to check out my toy store. Yes, this dog is exhausted by the end of the day. It hardly leaves a dog time to chew on a rawhide bone. I did a special favor for Mommy yesterday. She had a package of open hamburger buns and I put a half finished rawhide bone in the bag with the buns. Mommy threw the buns away like having them sitting next to my rawhide bone made them inedible. If you ask me, I think the humans are an ungrateful bunch. That rawhide bone was delicious. I try to share and look what happens with the humans.

Mommy has some antacid in the house, and I was wondering--how do they get the acid from the ants, and isn't it disgusting to use something that came from an ant? If you ask me, they are disgusting little bugs. I suppose it could be worse. It could be fleaacid. That would annoy every dog in the world.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dealing With Ungrateful Humans)