Bacon Burger

I can never write too much about the deliciousness of bacon--one of my favorites meats. I also like hamburgers so when I saw this bacon burger on epic meatltime, I had to share it with my readers. Here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/living/0515-epic-bacon-burger.aspx
I would love to sink my teeth into that burger, and I'm sure other dogs would also love to have a bite of it. I think it is time for the humans to make epic mealtime for dogs. We happen to enjoy the kinds of meats they make, and I would be happy to do a guest appearance to eat some of the food they make. I'm sure they would be thrilled to have a celebrity like myself show up to help them eat the food they make. Until that time comes, I will just have to eat the hamburgers Mommy brings me-with or without baccon. I hope everyone is having a good holiday, and I think the best way to honor the sacrifices made by the humans who served their country is to eat a bacon burger! I plan to eat one in honor of my human Daddy who is no longer with us. I know he would want me to have a bacon burger.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon Burgers)

Modern Farming

Is it time for another blog already? These blogs are really eating into a dog's nap time. Today I am going to cover a serious topic since a dog sometimes has to use a blog to educate the humans. Today I am going to discuss farming, which is a good profession to hold because I have yet to meet a dog who doesn't like to eat. However, I have no idea why the farmers are always planting vegetables, of which I (and most other dogs) are not overly fond. Why not plant things we like? For example, dogs enjoy meat such as: chicken, steak, and hamburgers. Since these items cost more, you would think that the humans, even with their limited ability to understand complicated concepts would realize that it is smarter to plant the more expensive items like meat. If they planted meat, then perhaps they could dig a drive thru in the garden so they could just drive up and get the meat they want instead of having to harvest the crops the way they do now. This method of harvesting would make farming much easier. In fact, this is one reason that virtual farming is so much more popular than actual farming....the Internet makes it easier. I hope farmers will eventually learn to do things the easy way as I have suggested. It is a shame they have to work so hard now, and all they get is stupid vegetables!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Farming)

Secretary Should Not Take the Day Off

My secretary took off today, and that is why my blog is being written so late. I would deduct the time from her pay if I actually paid her. At least she dropped off my hamburgers before she took off for the day! She had some shopping to do--I checked my stash. I had plenty of rawhide bones, milkbones, and dingo bones so there was nothing important she had to shop for today. I checked the bags when she got home, and all she had was stupid stuff....not one thing I would have purchased. This is why dogs should be allowed in stores. The humans can't be trusted to do their own shopping. Without their dogs, they are useless!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Should Do the Shopping)

King Burger Should Keep His Crown!!!

I used to be a dog who would only eat hamburgers from Burger King until a couple of months ago when they messed up my order, and the employee was arguing with my human about how I couldn't order a stacker without condiments which is something that had been done a gadzillion times before. Since then, I have tried McDonalds, and I have decided that they are very good too so my human now gets my food at McDonalds. When the situation happened, I suspected that King Burger was having problems keeping his kingdom under control. As usual, I was right. The King Burger is being ousted from BK's advertising. I think this is a big mistake, and I was a loyal customer of Burger King for years. This dog was always barking about how wonderful their burgers tasted. However, I can only assume that much of my problem with the company was that they are not allowing King Burger to run his kingdom as he has successfully done for many years. They should have consulted me about some of their business moves before they made them. If they had, they might still have me, Demon Flash Bandit, as a customer of theirs instead of the competition. Sure, I know that many royal families don't really do much except use up their fellow citizens tax dollars, but King Burger was not like most royalty. He did commercials and gave out crowns for dogs to wear in photos while we eat Burger King burgers. I hope BK reconsiders because restaurant mascots are so important. Mommy said she used to live in a neighborhood with a hamburger place that had a donkey on top and a chicken on the top of another restaurant. That is the mark of a classy neighborhood--when the local restaurants have animals on top of their buildings. I have no idea why she no longer lives in such an elegant neighborhood! I think I would be happy eating at either restaurant.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing King Burger)

I'm Planning a Special Mother's Day for my Human Mommy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States. It is a day set aside to honor our Mothers for all the wonderful things they do for us. I will be honoring my human Mommy who is very good to me. Since she enjoys doing nice things for me, I have the day all planned out for her. First on the agenda is for me to get her up which probably won't happen. Mommy usually gets up before me. This dog does not like to wake up before noon. I'm not a morning dog. I'm sure she will understand, and she can wait to receive my greeting when I finally wake up. That is when the fun will begin. Mommy can run to Burger King or Subway to get me some burgers to eat. This year is the first year that I have added another restaurant besides Burger King to my list so it will be a little more exciting for her this year since she will have a choice. Angel Zoom Smokey is going to allow her to make some chicken because Angel says that she knows Mother's Day would not be complete for Mommy if Angel doesn't have chicken. Then we will get the gifts Mommy has gotten for us. I am sure there will be toys and treats since Mother's Day is a special day, and the only way to celebrate a special day is to give the family dogs gifts! It is even listed in the book of Human-Dog Etiquette that I wrote so you can check and see for yourself that is is proper etiquette for the day. I plan to do some napping so Mommy can sit back and choose a dog movie of her choice because I think Mommy deserves the best in entertainment. When I wake from my nap, Mommy can bring me my usual ice cream, milkbones and rawhide bones which I like to enjoy before I go to bed at night. Yes, as you can see, this will be an exciting day for Mommy. I am so glad that there is a special day set aside for her.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Planning a Mother's Day Celebration)

Burger King Cannot be Owned by Commoners

This dog is highly upset today over something I read in the news. Burger King might be up for sale. Yes, Burger King, the place that sells this dog's favorite food, might be sold to another company. This upsets me because how can a dog know that the new owners might not mess with the menu and start serving food this dog doesn't like? I happen to be a picky eater. I have refused to eat burgers from McDonalds since I was a puppy. The clown just does not serve a burger high enough in quality to persuade me to eat it. However, I am okay with their bacon and ice cream. Does the King know what is happening in his realm? Has he been taken over by some evil influence like that king in Lord of the Rings? Is he sick? Someone needs to check on the King's health and get him to realize that selling Burger King would be a mistake. If a bunch of commoners buy the franchise, the burgers won't be royal anymore, and what will I serve the Queen of England when she comes to mow my yard? Of course her coming does depend on if that royal pain the the arse, Prince Charles, can ever take care of himself long enough for the Queen Lady to come for a visit. Perhaps she could talk to the King of Burgerland for me. Maybe he will listen to another royal. Meanwhile, Mommy has been watching a marathon session of The Tudors. Henry the VIII was not a good king. He didn't serve hamburgers to his subjects or do anything noteworthy except marry and kill his wives. I think he was the first recorded serial killer in history. It seemed to me that he spent most of his time putting people to death. You would think a couple of his "subjects" would have gotten together and returned the favor, but I suppose they weren't allowed to or it would have ruined the series which would have annoyed the Showtime executives. Perhaps if everyone started eating at Burger King everyday, the King would not even consider selling the franchise. It is a sacrifice that this dog is willing to make.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Burger King)