National Dog Day

Tomorrow is National Dog Day. This is the best day of the year because it is a day set aside to make dogs happy. I can't think of anything better to do any day of the year than to make a dog happy. First, we dogs like a lot of treats, and dingo bones. Rawhide bones are okay, but dingo bones are better. We also prefer human food. My rule of thumb is, if the humans won't eat it, then it should not be served to me. We also prefer meat. Just because a human will eat tofu does not mean a dog wants to eat it! I can't stress this enough! We like new dog toys so we should get a bunch of new toys on National Dog Day. We should also get a lot of attention and, for dogs who enjoy them. walks. For the less energetic dogs, let them nap because naps are also something we dogs are quite fond of doing in our spare time. I am going to quit writing now so that the humans can prepare for all the delightful things they are preparing for their dogs in honor of National Dog Day. I hope all the dogs reading this have fun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Looking Forward to National Dog Day)

Aunt Millies Bread: Baked by a Dog!

There is a bakery brand at the supermarket here called Aunt Millies. I wasn't aware I had an Aunt Millie until I read the label on the bread bag. Being a friendly dog, I was pleased to have discovered a new relative in my family. The only thing I don't understand is why Aunt Millie looks human and why is she not baking dog treats? Since I'm a dog, and she is my aunt, she has to be a dog. I don't have any human relatives except for the ones I've adopted. This caused me a bit of frustration until I realized that it is a clever ad campaign. The humans like to think that a human is running the company and baking the bread. They have big egos and think they can do things better than a dog, which is course, is erroneous thinking. However, you have to expect the humans' thinking to be stupid because they don't possess the superior dog brain. I am planning to write Aunt Millie a letter asking that she start baking dog treats. She can keep her pseudo identity because we dogs don't really care whose "photo" is on the packaging...we only care about the treats. I look forward to getting some delicious dog bakery treats from Aunt Millie....I'm sure she will be happy to start baking dog treats too!

Demon Flash Bandit (Aunt Millie's Nephew Dog)

Dogs Should Get Oscars!

I have written numerous blogs saying that dogs should get Oscars for many of their performances in movies. It is good to see that the humans are finally beginning to see my wisdom and agree with me. Here is an article that was on the Internet today involving the subject of dogs getting Oscars:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/16/oscar-dogs-uggie-from-the-artist_n_1154162.html
It is good to see the humans using some common sense for a change.

I would also like to write about a wonderful product that I got for Christmas from my doggy pal, Raja (who also has a blog about travel, http://www.traveldogbooks.com/?p=565 . That product is Zukes Jerky Naturals. I got the lamb formula, and it has fresh apples, blueberries, and carrots in it. I loved it, and I'm a picky eater! It is also made in the U.S.A., and has no wheat, corn, soy, artificial colors, flavors added fat or by-products. If you are a dog, I am sure you would love this product too. I'm not sure about the humans. They might like it, but why let them try it? It is for dogs, and we don't want to share our treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Zukes Jerky Naturals: Good Treat)

Puppy Pads For Sale!

It turns out that one of the humans has paid $8,000 for underwear worn by Kylie Minogue. I'm not sure who she is because I have never heard of her, but she still sold her used underwear for a lot of money. This gave me an idea. I am quite sure that I am more famous than she is, and I think I'm a lot cuter! If the humans are willing to spend that kind of money for her underwear, I can only imagine how much money I would make if I wore underwear and would be willing to sell said underwear! Since I am a genius (for those of you who missed it, I did win a genius award from the humans), I came up with a plan for making myself a lot of money for dingo bones. I am going to get some puppy pads, and pee on them. I'm sure my puppy pads will bring me a fortune to spend on dingo bones and other treats. Would I buy a used puppy pad? Of course not, but I'm a dog and we dogs have more sense. I wouldn't spend $8,000 on anyone's underwear--not even new underwear for myself!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Another Genius Plan)

Money: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore!

A couple in Florida have a dog named Tuity who ate $1,000 in cash. Then they fed the dog hydrogen peroxide to make the dog vomit the money back up, and sent the pieces to the Department of Treasury for replacement. I feel bad for the dog being forced to drink hydrogen peroxide to throw up. I can guarantee you if Tuity had something like roast beast from Arbys, Tuity would not have had to resort to eating money. Money was a stupid thing for the humans to feed Tuity because money is not edible unless Tuity is a termite. Perhaps the couple thought they had a pet termite instead of a dog! It would have been cheaper to leave some decent treats laying around for Tuity. Anyway, I think if the humans are going to start feeding their dogs money (and I do not recommend this as a diet option), they should at least face the consequences and not induce the dog into vomitting so that they can get their money back. If you ask me, this is a stingy couple who needs to learn where the treat section of the store is located!

Demon Flash Bandit (Money--Not Edible)

Conspiracy Against Dogs

Today I am going to cover a conspiracy of epic proportions. The conspiracy involves one of my favorite treats: Bit of Luv. These are delicious dog treats in beef or chicken flavor and they are truly a bite of love. My humans say I'm a Bit of Luv addict. I don't agree, but when none of the stores around here had them anymore, I wasn't happy. You can imagine how happy I was when I saw the ACO ad, and they had Bit of Luv ON SALE. That's right....they had my treats and they were even below the usual price. This dog was on Cloud 9.....you know the cloud you go to when you are super happy!!!!! Anyway, my humans stopped by ACO and the store never got the Bit of Luv in as expected. I was annoyed, but I thought it would be okay because the humans could try again the next week. I assumed that perhaps the shipment was late. I had my mouth all set for those delicious treats and then when my humans went out the other day, it looks like the ACO store has shut down without notice. The ACO sign is covered up and there is a "For Lease" sign in front. I can only assume that this is part of a vast conspiracy reaching into the top levels of dog enemies. I have been doing some intelligence gathering, and I have narrowed it down to several possibilities. Of course, there are my usual suspects: birds. Whenever there are problems in a dog's life, you can be sure that if the birds aren't behind them, they are at the very least laughing at the dog. It could also be cats. Although some cats are friendly to dogs, there are definitely some who hate us dogs. Perhaps it is space aliens who were using ACO as a base until some human stumbled upon their secret and they had to shut down the store. The humans said maybe they went out of business. Of course, I know that couldn't be the case. How can a place go out of business when the sales of Bit of Luv alone would make the profitable beyond their wildest dreams! Leave it to the humans to come up with the least likely scenerio.

Bowser Beer

Many of the humans like to end the day with a refreshing bottle of beer. Now when the human opens a bottle of beer to enjoy, the dog no longer has to sit and look at a water bowl. Now there is a product called Bowser Beer that a dog can enjoy. It is non-alcoholic and it is not carbonated, but it comes in beef flavor or chicken flavor, and from the testimonials of the dogs who have tried it, it is a delicious beverage. You can even order it with a custom label. I am going to share a video commercial with you of some dogs talking about Bowser Beer. The address is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbx0eDNn_mc
That commercial makes me want to sit back and try some Bowser Beer. I haven't tried it yet so I can't speak from personal experience, but I'm hoping that after my humans read my blog today that they will order some for me. For those who are interested in this product, the web address is:
http://www.bowserbeer.com/
Tell them Demon Flash Bandit sent you. I'm sure they must know me since I'm a celebrity dog blogger. The site also has treats that can be ordered to go with the Bowser Beer. By the way, there are no hops and the beer is safe for dogs. Anyway, if you would like to try this product, I would suggest that you make sure your humans read this blog (for my human readers--your dog would love for you to order it). I would suggest making some signs that say I Want to Try Bowser Beer and carry them around in your paws. The humans aren't as smart as us dogs so it sometimes takes a lot to get through to them.

Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers out there.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Bowser Beer)

Read Zombie Economics--Avoid Filing Boneruptcy

I have decided to inform my readers about a new book that is available for public consumption which has the potential to change your economic life. That book is called Zombie Economics and it was written by John Quiggen. Amazon.com has this book for $16.47 at the present time, and it is money well spent. The book discusses how, very much like zombies from the movies, there are financial zombies who threaten your financial well being. I have to tell you that this book has really made a difference in my life. I'm sure I'm not the only dog who has noticed that there is always one dog in the pack who won't share their milkbones. When you have a milkbone, they will ask you to share and are always bugging those of us who work hard for our bones to give them our hard earned treats. For many of us dogs, we really don't have to work that hard, but we do have to hang around the humans and look cute. Sometimes we even have to sit or beg for our treats so those doggy moochers think they can just walk up without doing any tricks or hanging out keeping the humans company and get a treat from a dog who was willing to give the extra paw to the humans. Before you realize it, those doggy bums have eaten all your treats and you have nothing to eat. In fact, there have been terrible stories of dogs who have had to file for boneruptcy because other dogs have had them copaw for milkbone loans and generally have used up all the dogs bones. Don't let this happen to you. Get the book and read it. You'll be glad you did, and you don't have to thank me. I enjoy watching out for my readers!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Economic Zombie Dogs)

I'm Planning a Special Mother's Day for my Human Mommy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States. It is a day set aside to honor our Mothers for all the wonderful things they do for us. I will be honoring my human Mommy who is very good to me. Since she enjoys doing nice things for me, I have the day all planned out for her. First on the agenda is for me to get her up which probably won't happen. Mommy usually gets up before me. This dog does not like to wake up before noon. I'm not a morning dog. I'm sure she will understand, and she can wait to receive my greeting when I finally wake up. That is when the fun will begin. Mommy can run to Burger King or Subway to get me some burgers to eat. This year is the first year that I have added another restaurant besides Burger King to my list so it will be a little more exciting for her this year since she will have a choice. Angel Zoom Smokey is going to allow her to make some chicken because Angel says that she knows Mother's Day would not be complete for Mommy if Angel doesn't have chicken. Then we will get the gifts Mommy has gotten for us. I am sure there will be toys and treats since Mother's Day is a special day, and the only way to celebrate a special day is to give the family dogs gifts! It is even listed in the book of Human-Dog Etiquette that I wrote so you can check and see for yourself that is is proper etiquette for the day. I plan to do some napping so Mommy can sit back and choose a dog movie of her choice because I think Mommy deserves the best in entertainment. When I wake from my nap, Mommy can bring me my usual ice cream, milkbones and rawhide bones which I like to enjoy before I go to bed at night. Yes, as you can see, this will be an exciting day for Mommy. I am so glad that there is a special day set aside for her.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Planning a Mother's Day Celebration)

Farmer Demon Flash Bandit

Winter is my favorite season probably because I'm a "sled dog", but there is one thing about spring that sounds good me, and that is the prospect of planting a garden. The humans plant gardens every spring so that they can harvest tasty food products from their own plot of soil. I pawed through the catalogs Mommy gets, and I didn't really get too excited about planting tomatoes or cucumbers. However, then I realized that I could plant my own stuff. I can plant bones, Yummy Chummies, Milkbones, bacon, etc. to grow my own garden of treats. I have been busily digging in the yard to prepare for all the delicious treats that I plan to grow. A bit of bacon in this hole, a crumb of milkbone in another. By the time the summer is over, I am going to be the envy of every dog in the neighborhood. I have lived here since I was a puppy, and none of the dogs ever have a garden of treats so I know they haven't thought of it yet. After I harvest the treats, I will write a how-to book for other dogs so that they can learn how to grow their own treats too. The proceeds from the book will keep in me treats until it is time to plant a treat garden again next year. Demon Flash Bandit (Farmer Demon)

Green Hornet and Doga (Dog Yoga)

My humans had the nerve to leave Angel Zoom Smokey and me yesterday with my brother William while they went to see a movie, The Green Hornet. That is why I am writing in green today. Evidently the humans think we dogs are color blind, but how do they know? It isn't like a human has ever asked me any color questions. Anyway, Mommy said the movie was good--not great, but good so I suppose that means it wasn't a waste of money. I do think it was a waste of time that could have been spent with me.

I have discovered through the Internet that some of the human puppies (babies) are doing yoga. I suppose this is a good thing. I'm not exactly sure since I haven't met many dogs who know what yoga happens to be. However, yogurt tastes good so I'm going to assume that it is some kind of snack. Hold the presses!!! I just looked it up on the Internet and it isn't food at all. Worse yet, the humans have invented doga, which is yoga for dogs. If it isn't edible, then what is the point? In fact, it sounds like something that will just interfere with another of a dog's precious activities--napping. Just because the humans can't stand to relax and enjoy life and nap more does not mean they need to drag their dogs into their hysteria. My advice to the humans: leave your dog alone and let him nap. Only interrupt his naps to give him tasty treats. I hope the humans reading this will act accordingly. The humans never seem to learn anything easily--which is why training the humans is so much work for a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Doga)