Ice City: Ideal Vacation Destination for a Sled Dog!

Making the decision of where to go on a vacation can be difficult, but thanks to the Internet, this dog knows where I want to go next. There is an Ice City in Habin, China that looks wonderful. Since I'm a sled dog, I happen to be fond of ice and snow so this would be paradise for me. There are so few places a dog can go where it is cold and you can enjoy ice and snow. My humans do not share my enthusiasm, but it really doesn't matter what they think. A vacation destination should be chosen by the family dog. If you have trained your humans well, it won't be a problem. However, for those dogs out there whose humans aren't as well trained as mine are, keep working on it. The humans take a long time to train. They aren't dogs so they don't possess our genius brains. Don't give up--the humans mean well. They can't help it that they are stupid. Here is the web address so you can see Ice City for yourself:

http://www.aol.com/video/the-ice-city-in-habin/517256776/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cvideo-module%7Csec3_lnk4%7C131443

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Vacation Paradise)

Puppy Pads For Sale!

It turns out that one of the humans has paid $8,000 for underwear worn by Kylie Minogue. I'm not sure who she is because I have never heard of her, but she still sold her used underwear for a lot of money. This gave me an idea. I am quite sure that I am more famous than she is, and I think I'm a lot cuter! If the humans are willing to spend that kind of money for her underwear, I can only imagine how much money I would make if I wore underwear and would be willing to sell said underwear! Since I am a genius (for those of you who missed it, I did win a genius award from the humans), I came up with a plan for making myself a lot of money for dingo bones. I am going to get some puppy pads, and pee on them. I'm sure my puppy pads will bring me a fortune to spend on dingo bones and other treats. Would I buy a used puppy pad? Of course not, but I'm a dog and we dogs have more sense. I wouldn't spend $8,000 on anyone's underwear--not even new underwear for myself!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Another Genius Plan)

Ben and Jerry Should Make a Demon Flash Bandit Celebrity Flavor!

Today's blog is about ice cream. It is cold, it is creamy, it is sweet and it is delicious. I enjoy having it everyday, and if I could have it more often, I would. I sometimes watch Steven Colbert on television and that other show with Jimmy Fallon, and they have their own ice cream flavors as do other celebrities. Ben and Jerry make special celebrity flavors so I only have one question? Why no Demon Flash Bandit flavor? I'm a world famous dog blogger. Doesn't a celebrity dog rate a flavor? I'm not sure if bacon flavor ice cream would taste good, but there are lots of flavors us dogs love. I love peanut butter, carob, cashews, caramel, and many other things that would taste super good in ice cream. I'm thinking caramel waffle flavor or maple syrup waffle flavor would make most of us dogs happy. By the way, I won't even eat Frosty Paws. I tasted human ice cream as a puppy, and the doggy ice cream does not measure up to my standards. Anyway, I think it would be a great marketing idea for Ben and Jerry to make a special flavor that both humans and dogs would enjoy. Don't tell them that I will eat their regular vanilla flavor--they don't need to know that. I want my own Demon Flash Bandit flavor ice cream, and I think all my readers should contact Ben and Jerry and tell them that I need a flavor of my own. I'd even be happy with milkbone flavor ice cream. It would have 2 of my treats put into one treat which means I can eat more of it. As I said yesterday, I didn't get the genius award for nothing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants My Own Ben and Jerry Ice Cream Flavor)

I Won a Genius Award!

I am so excited!!!! I won $200.00 for my genius idea in a contest. I have always told my readers that I'm a genius dog, and now I have proof from the humans. I promise that I will stay the humble, genius dog that I have always been despite this major award for my intelligence. I wonder what I will win next....the presidency of the United States, the Nobel peace prize, some more dingo treats? The possibilities are endless. I would like to thank the nice people who recognized my genius. I am so pleased that I was able to give the humans such a brilliant idea that they can use to make their lives better. What was the idea? It was to get a dog. Sure, I know all us dogs know that, but it was humans voting.

Demon Flash Bandit (Genius Dog)

The Most Comfortable Seat Saved for the Dog!

I have run across yet another brilliant and practical must-have item for dogs which I will share in today's blog. That item is a seat saver. Yes, fake spilled food that you can put on a seat to "save" it for you so that no one takes it when you have to leave for a few minutes. This is such a genius idea that I would love to meet the dog who invented it. You know how the humans think they should get the most comfortable seats and leave the dogs the least comfortable ones or the dog has to sit on the floor? With this new product, a dog can put the item on the seat of his choice, and come back whenever he wants to because the humans will avoid sitting on a seat that has ice cream, etc. spilled all over it. Thus, when the dog returns to the seat, he can move the fake food, and he has the best chair in the place. I'm sure the humans could use it too, but why tell them about it? I think if dogs keep the secret, the humans will never know because they aren't the brightest tools in the shed. Yes, a dog can go out in public, pick out a seat, save it with a seat saver, go the the concession stand to get some food, and come back to the same comfortable seat he chose before he left to get some treats. For those dogs who want to order this product, the address is:
http://www.geekosystem.com/?s=seat+savers
This is a product that all dogs will want to own!

Demon Flash Bandit (Genius Product for Saving Seats)

Tweeting Dogs

Occasionally a new product comes onto the market that makes you wonder how the humans have survived up until now without it. I am going to discuss a product that fits into that category in today's blog. That product is Puppy Tweets. Finally, a product that sends a tweet from your dog so that you will know what the dog is thinking about at that moment. Imagine how exciting it is for the humans to know what their dog is doing at any given time! I do have to admit that I was more than a little annoyed when I read about it in a news article that called it a stupid pet product, and then asked the question, who would set up a Twitter account for their dog? I would like to introduce you to DemonFlashHusky, my twitter name. I set up the account for myself just like my Facebook account and my dogster diary. I am tired of the humans thinking that a dog can't do these things for him or herself. After observing the humans since I was a puppy, I have come to the conclusion that when a family has a dog, the dog is the "brains" of the family. I have often wondered how dogless families even manage to survive without the intelligence of the average dog to guide them. I can prove we are geniuses. Who is out working to pay for the food? It is usually the humans which proves my point. The dog stays home and naps while the humans are out working. If that isn't genius, I don't know what is!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Doggy Tweets)

Bronx Cobra in my Yard---I Don't Think So!

Since the Bronx Cobra has been located at the Reptile House of the Bronx Zoo (at least that is what the zoo WANTS us to believe), there has been no official news of any tweats from the snake. However, just as the humans have "copycats" (notice the cat part of the word--they aren't copydogs), I have discovered that the snake has a copycat that I met myself in my own yard. I met this snake "lookalike' creature, but the creature seems a little too small to be a snake so I came inside and checked the Internet. As usual, I was right. The creature is an earthworm. This earthworm had bought itself a hooded jacket so it would look like a cobra, and it was telling me how it had escaped from the Bronx Zoo, and hitched a ride on a semi truck which ended up here in Michigan. I think the stupid worm thought I would fall for the lie, but he did not realize that he is dealing with the doggy genius of Demon Flash Bandit. He told me not to get too near to him or he would bite and inject his poisonous venom into me. I didn't believe him, but I didn't put a paw near him until I checked to make sure he was lying. I thought about crushing him with my mighty paw after I discovered he had lied, but I happened to go to this site: http://yucky.discovery.com/flash/worm/pg000216.html Sure, worms may look disgusting, but it seems they do a service for us dogs and humans too so I decided to let him live. However, I don't plan to make him a pet, and he definitely isn't the Bronx Cobra. I guess a worm has to do what he has to do to get some respect. They aren't cute and cuddly like us dogs. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Did Not Meet the Bronx Cobra)

Mathematical Formula to Achieve Milkbones

I was watching The Big Bang Theory last night, and I realized that I have been a theoretical physicist since I was a puppy. Even as a young pup, I realized that there are 2 major groups of dogs. One group that has milkbones and one group that does not. I worked out a mathematical formula that takes many variables into consideration--how cute is the dog, how well does he or she beg, can the dog be trusted not to eat the entire box in one sitting, etc. It is very simple and even the humans can understand it: x=cuteness, y=begging ability, z=trust, m-milkbones.
x(y)+x(z)=m
This is one of the simpler theories. You will notice that cuteness is more important than anything else because the humans control the purchase of milkbones, and they respond to cuteness more so than the other abilities.

I happen to be so cute that I usually don't even have to beg. In fact, I often help myself to the box when the humans bring it home. They can trust me because I have been known to carry a box around for a day or two unopened. I like to have it with me just in case I'm in the mood for a milkbone. Sometimes I like to use the box as a pillow. Now that I have written a blog showing my advanced math and science skills, I am sure that my genius will make the humans buy me even more milkbones. Therefore, my theory is that a dog has to do anything it takes to get some milkbones, and whatever impresses your human, do it. Milkbones are worth the trouble!

Demon Flash Bandit (Theoretical Physicist and Dog With Milkbones)