Puppy Tweets Discontinued!

My humans bought me that product, Puppy Tweets, so that I could tweet them more often when I'm in the mood. They are usually with me, but you know how it is when they are in another room and a dog doesn't feel like getting up and walking into the other room to talk to the humans. Paws do get tired! Anyway, I was excited at first and then I made the humans take it off of me because it is on a chain and it kept hitting my neck which I did not like. I just chatted with the humans at Mattel, the company that made Puppy Tweets, suggesting they make it lighter and thinner so it would be more comfortable for a dog to wear. However, they said that the product had been discontinued. This is what happens when a company listens to birds when making a product for dogs. Birds don't like dogs, and they never will so I think they deliberately sabotaged the product. It makes sense that birds would not want dogs tweeting the humans and possibly warning them about the latest of the birds evil plans for world domination. I do hope that Mattel will bring back a new and better Puppy Tweets. Maybe they should call it Puppy Barks so that they won't feel the need to bring birds into the developmental stage of the product. By the way, I do have a Twitter account for my readers who want to follow me, and my twitter name is demonflashhusky. I usually "tweet" when I post a new blog so it would enable those of you who use twitter a lot to catch my latest blogs as soon as possible--which I'm sure is what all my readers live for!

Demon Flash Bandit (Tweeting Dog)

Tweeting Dogs

Occasionally a new product comes onto the market that makes you wonder how the humans have survived up until now without it. I am going to discuss a product that fits into that category in today's blog. That product is Puppy Tweets. Finally, a product that sends a tweet from your dog so that you will know what the dog is thinking about at that moment. Imagine how exciting it is for the humans to know what their dog is doing at any given time! I do have to admit that I was more than a little annoyed when I read about it in a news article that called it a stupid pet product, and then asked the question, who would set up a Twitter account for their dog? I would like to introduce you to DemonFlashHusky, my twitter name. I set up the account for myself just like my Facebook account and my dogster diary. I am tired of the humans thinking that a dog can't do these things for him or herself. After observing the humans since I was a puppy, I have come to the conclusion that when a family has a dog, the dog is the "brains" of the family. I have often wondered how dogless families even manage to survive without the intelligence of the average dog to guide them. I can prove we are geniuses. Who is out working to pay for the food? It is usually the humans which proves my point. The dog stays home and naps while the humans are out working. If that isn't genius, I don't know what is!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Doggy Tweets)

Bark Like a Pirate?

Ahoy. I have told Angel Zoom Smokey to put on her Halloween Pirate costume in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day. So far, she has threatened to issue some puppy slaps of justice for the suggestion, and she told me to wear it myself. Since I do not want to wear it, I suppose there is going to be a limited amount of Pirate Partying around here unless Angel drinks too much grog, in which case, I might be able to trick her into wearing it. I am not counting on it since Angel is not an easy dog to fool.

To help my readers enjoy the holiday, there are actually websites that help you talk like a pirate, and everyone knows how serious a topic has to be before there is a website about it. However, I could not find one website with instructions on how dogs can bark like a pirate dog. Also, do dogs dress up in a pirate's hat and are there other things a pirate dog is expected to wear? How does a dog carry a sword around with him. I'm assuming that a dog can be the Captain of a ship if he chooses to do so. In fact, I think I have a great name for a pirate to have: Captain Demon Flash Bandit, pirate. It does have a very piratey sound to it, don't you think? I bet spell check is going to tell me that pirately is not a word. When it does, I will take out my sword and kill spell check and thus, prove I am a worthy pirate. I'm sure pirates in the old days used to keep the computers in line (or on line---they seem like the kind of people who would be on Twitter) on their ships. I'm sharing an old pirate tweet with you from the old days:
Me just commandeered a ship which me thought would bring a vast array of treasure, but alas, the booty from the ship was not what me expected. Me should have known that a ship flying under the "mouse" flag might not have been a good choice, but even a pirate captain has bad days every now and then. How was me supposed to know that Disney had a cruise ship for senior citizens? The complaints alone were enough to make me want to jump into the ocean and join Davy Jones in his locker. Where is the Cracken when you need it? Young people tend to shut up and do what they are told, but me supposes older people will take the risk and tell you off. Perhaps they don't feel they have as much to live for as the younger ones. Ten old ladies hit me over the head with their purses, and if me sees one more photo of the grandchildren, me will scream. The old men can't hear anything you tell them. I've had 24 of them attack me with their canes--and me thought the canes were for dancing. My crew has confiscated the electric scooters and they are driving them around the ship. Me thinks they are about to mutiny because the novelty of the electric scooters is wearing thin. Me thinks me will let the people go back to their ship, and then lock me-self into me quarters until this whole mutiny idea is over. Even Pirate Captains can have some very, very bad days! Next time, me will be more careful about the ships I commandeer. ---Captain Blue Eyed Husky

I do hope those who choose to participate enjoy talk like a pirate day. For those dogs who know how to bark like a pirate, start a website. I know that humans only have websites about things that are very important, but I think dogs would appreciate knowing how to bark like a pirate. The humans would never start a website just to entertain other humans, would they?

I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and if you find any spare pirate treasure in your back yard that you don't want, let me know. A dog can always use treasure...hopefully someone will find some dingo bones. They are so tasty!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Talk Like a Pirate Day)

Puppy Tweets

Mattel has introduced a new product, Puppy Tweets, that provides a way for us dogs to send tweets to our owners. Since most of us dogs have problems with typing on the computer, the device comes with 500 pre-recorded "tweets". Dogs can follow other dogs and other dogs can follow them. Now dogs can get involved with Twitter--yes, social networking for dogs on one of the humans' own social sites--did we ever think this would happen? I'm sure many of you are wondering what I think of this new invention. The idea is good, and the price is reasonable (Amazon has it for $29.99), and it sounds like a great idea, but the problem this dog has if that it is on that Twitter. Twitter is one of those sites that upsets this dog since it has a bird as its symbol. Since birds are in a conspiracy to cause global warming and take over the planet, I always tend to think there is a conspiracy whenever I see a bird involved in an item. I know you might say, Demon Flash Bandit, how can you be so sure----it seems harmless enough"? That is just what I would want dogs to think if I were a bird. I'm sure it is harmless-except that it gets the dogs so busy "tweeting" (what a horrible thought-dogs "tweeting at each other") that the birds can take over the world. The humans aren't smart enough to notice--they wouldn't see it coming until the birds have guns at their heads marching them off to some horrible place where they will have to be the slaves to the birds. If you get the dogs busy, that only leaves the cats to watch out for the birds activities, and if the birds are willing to pay the cats enough, those cats just might let them take over. The birds are counting on the item looking innocent while they sneak around and do all their evil bird activities.

As I said, I have nothing personal against the device other than the possibility that it is a device invented by birds to keep dogs from noticing their treachery. However, there is something else that bothers me. If the device is not invented by birds ( and you can prove it to my satisfaction), what is the point of sending pre-recorded messages that Mattel has made up? Why not send actual messages from real dogs? For example, a pre-recorded message that says "its hard to tweet when your all paws" might be a cute message for the humans to receive, but if I'm sending messages to my humans, they will be a bit different. I'll give you some examples. I would tweet. "since you left me with only the dogsitter, at least bring back some Burger King for me to eat." I would also tweet something to the effect of, "you left without me. Didn't you see my face in the window? I hope you are feeling guilty." Perhaps the heart felt, "I'm planning to tear up everything in the house. It is my gift to you for leaving me behind." These are the kind of "tweets" most of us would send. By the way, if a dog sends them, couldn't they be called barks or wolfs. No self respecting dog wants to tweet to other dogs or humans. We do have our dignity to think about.

Demon Flash Bandit (My Opinion Of Tweeting Dogs)