Modern Farming

Is it time for another blog already? These blogs are really eating into a dog's nap time. Today I am going to cover a serious topic since a dog sometimes has to use a blog to educate the humans. Today I am going to discuss farming, which is a good profession to hold because I have yet to meet a dog who doesn't like to eat. However, I have no idea why the farmers are always planting vegetables, of which I (and most other dogs) are not overly fond. Why not plant things we like? For example, dogs enjoy meat such as: chicken, steak, and hamburgers. Since these items cost more, you would think that the humans, even with their limited ability to understand complicated concepts would realize that it is smarter to plant the more expensive items like meat. If they planted meat, then perhaps they could dig a drive thru in the garden so they could just drive up and get the meat they want instead of having to harvest the crops the way they do now. This method of harvesting would make farming much easier. In fact, this is one reason that virtual farming is so much more popular than actual farming....the Internet makes it easier. I hope farmers will eventually learn to do things the easy way as I have suggested. It is a shame they have to work so hard now, and all they get is stupid vegetables!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Farming)

Dogs Need Meat!

As a dog, I enjoy eating meat. It is one of my favorite foods next to cookies. You can imagine how I felt when I discovered on the Internet that now some of the humans have decided that dogs can be vegan dogs. I don't know about the rest of you, but I do not think that dogs were meant to be vegetarians. If we were, I would be more fond of vegetables, and I'm not a big fan of them. We are cousins to the wolves, and I haven't noticed our wild cousins showing up to eat at a salad bar. That is because wolves want meat. I might add that the animals that the vegans are so concerned about are usually eating other animals. Let's take the bird for example (I wish someone would take them since they annoy me). An owl is a bird, and he eats rodents, bunnies, small dogs, etc. Does he feel guilty about having dinner? I can guarantee you he does not. I say if a dog eats the owl, then a chihuahua might not be his dinner in the future. Sure, it would be nice if meat grew from a garden, but it does not. I know this because I have tried planting meat and it never grows. You can imagine how disappointed I was when my bed of bacon never materialized. I had my taste buds all ready for a large crop of bacon and I had to do without. It was one of the saddest moments of my life. I know most of the humans aren't vegans, but I have observed that humans are easily influenced. Therefore, if any dogs reading this see their humans bring in a book about a dog being a vegan (yes, there are books on the subject), get rid of that book as quickly as possible. Shred it, eat it, pee on it...whatever you have to do to get rid of it, do it!!! You'll thank me later when you are enjoying a dinner with meat!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Meat)