Today is my birthday! I am now 8 years old which is also 8 years old in doggy years because I plan to live for another century or two. I am annoyed that my brother Jeff had to work today because I think my birthday should be a national holiday. I have written Congress about this idea, but they are too busy bickering over the budget. I could solve that problem in about 2 minutes and still have time for a nap. I would raise the taxes on the super rich. They won't miss the little bit of extra money since they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. Since some of the Congress humans are against the idea, I would bite some butt until they change their mind and see my logic. The problem with humans is that they aren't willing to put their teeth into a problem. This is why more dogs should be in Congress. We know how to "take a bite out of a problem". Then Congress could get to more important issues-like making my birthday a national holiday. Yes, I think we could all use a Demon Flash Bandit day!
Demon Flash Bandit (Wants my Own Holiday)