How many of my readers are aware that standard measurements are not the same all over the world? I had to go to the store the other day to get some vodka for my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman, and the bottles were not in ounces, pints, quarts, or gallons, but in something called liters. I didn't buy them because how is a dog supposed to know how much he is getting for his money when they aren't measured properly? Sure, this upset Phantom, but I had to tell Phantom that some things are more important than his alcoholism. Sometimes a dog has to take a stand, and not buy things that aren't properly marked. I know that the United States is only one country, but it is a country that is powerful, and happens to be full of humans who do not like to learn new things. I have to agree with the humans here. I have been told that back in the 70's, the government tried to make the people here convert to the metric system. I could have told them that it would never happen. The "metric system" which is used by the rest of the world and some scientists and doctors is a stupid system. In case you are wondering why it is stupid, it is logical. Humans are the least logical species on the planet so it is insane to think that their system of measurement should be logical. Besides, there is that cute children's song called Inchworm. This is an important song for children learning how to multiply. It is not a meterworm, it is an inchworm which means that even nature prefers the system of measure used in the United States. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. If other parts of the world want to be backward and use a "logical system", that is their problem but this U.S. dog will continue to buy only things measured in good old fashioned measurements. If you expect me to change, you will have to pry that yardstick out of my cold, dead paws!
Demon Flash Bandit (Perfers USA's System of Measurement)