The Three Husketeers

Today I am going to tell you the story of the three husketeers. Many years ago, when we huskies roamed around in Siberia, enjoying the cold, many were on the television show, The Husketeers. This was a group of huskies similar to Disney's Mouseketeers except who wants to watch a bunch of mice? Watching dogs is another matter entirely. The show was the most popular show on Siberian television. The dogs would sing, dance, howl, and sometimes they would do tricks, but they were not big on doing tricks. After all, they are dogs, and do not like to lower themselves to human standards. The three biggest stars on the show were Demon Flash Bandit, Angel Zoom Smokey, and Phantom Fast Snowman (he started out as the stunt dog, but rose to stardom due to his amazing charisma). The people in Siberia started referring to the three as the Three Husketeers. They stayed quite busy between filming the show, and doing guest appearances, and pawtograph signings. Now they are retired and living in the United States. However, if you are lucky, and if you have enough money, you might be able to hire the Three Husketeers for yourself. Of course, they like to nap so it is not easy to get them to agree to do any work. If you retire and continue to work, what is the point of retiring?

Demon Flash Bandit (One of the Three Husketeers)

Movie Review: The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit

Today I am going to do a movie review of the movie, The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit. This movie is, paws down, one of the best movies I have ever seen. In this movie, you get to see my tail in all its beauty and glory. You see it wag, you see it still, you see it held high. The movie is a 5 hour masterpiece which will make all other movies look bad by comparison. This movie stars Demon Flash Bandit, and is written by Demon Flash Bandit. The producer is Demon Flash Bandit and the stunt dog is Phantom Fast Snowman. The movie starts with me admiring my tail in the mirror. It is truly a stunning tail, and the movie goers who have seen it agree with my review. The New York News said, "this is the movie of all ages...a must see!. Sasster and Ebark give it 4 paws up and they said, "we never knew a tail could be so lovely. Gene Sassket said, "this is the movie I have waited to see for my entire life. I watched it and I wanted to watch it again...this is what the Los Angeles reviewer had to say about the movie: GREAT!!! King Frederic Tickleberry, the esteemed movie reviewer in London gave it 17 thumbs up. However, you are here on my blog to see what I have to say, and I give this movie 4 paws up, kisses, a 30 minute tail wag, a high 5 with all 4 paws, and more. I just can't say enough good things about this movie. Demon Flash Bandit, who is new to the big screen, does an fantastic job in this movie. I think he should win a Best Actor Oscar for his performance. I hope I will be seeing more of this young dog in the future. He is so handsome that he can keep audiences happy just looking at him. I think that, if the stuidos have any sense, they will be casting him in many, many more movies in the future. This movie gets a 25,000,000,000out of 10 on the human movie rating scale which means it is the best movie ever made. Be sure and see it when it comes to your local theatre.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit)

Metric System Too Logical For Humans!

How many of my readers are aware that standard measurements are not the same all over the world? I had to go to the store the other day to get some vodka for my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman, and the bottles were not in ounces, pints, quarts, or gallons, but in something called liters. I didn't buy them because how is a dog supposed to know how much he is getting for his money when they aren't measured properly? Sure, this upset Phantom, but I had to tell Phantom that some things are more important than his alcoholism. Sometimes a dog has to take a stand, and not buy things that aren't properly marked. I know that the United States is only one country, but it is a country that is powerful, and happens to be full of humans who do not like to learn new things. I have to agree with the humans here. I have been told that back in the 70's, the government tried to make the people here convert to the metric system. I could have told them that it would never happen. The "metric system" which is used by the rest of the world and some scientists and doctors is a stupid system. In case you are wondering why it is stupid, it is logical. Humans are the least logical species on the planet so it is insane to think that their system of measurement should be logical. Besides, there is that cute children's song called Inchworm. This is an important song for children learning how to multiply. It is not a meterworm, it is an inchworm which means that even nature prefers the system of measure used in the United States. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. If other parts of the world want to be backward and use a "logical system", that is their problem but this U.S. dog will continue to buy only things measured in good old fashioned measurements. If you expect me to change, you will have to pry that yardstick out of my cold, dead paws!

Demon Flash Bandit (Perfers USA's System of Measurement)

Marley and Me: The Puppy Wants a M&M

I have found a "must-have" item for the Star Trek fan. That item is an M&M dressed up as Captain Kirk from Star Trek. Here is the web address where you can find this item:
http://www.hamiltoncollection.com/products/904316001_mms-star-trek-figurine.html?searchTerm=M%20and%20M%20Captain%20Kirk&N=9054
You can tell the humans to order it for your Star Trek collection, and if it winds up in your tummy, you can't help it because you are a dog, and dogs like to eat things. I know the humans say you can't have chocolate because you are a dog, but it is just one M&M. I've found it is better not to ask the humans since they might say no, and no is not what I want to hear. LOL

The humans and myself just finished watching the new direct to dvd movie, Marley and Me: the Puppy Years. It was an okay movie, but my humans didn't like the fact that they used the "Marley and Me" name on a movie that really seemed to have very little to do with the real "Marley and Me" movie. Marley was being watched by another family while his humans were on an assignment. I think it was a bit unrealistic since most humans aren't going to volunteerily watch a puppy who is causing so much trouble around the house. However, the movie did have a lot of dogs in it, and even an appearance by my stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman's relative so it was still an enjoyable movie.

I've got to go now and get back to my napping.

Demon Flash Bandit (Ordering my Own M&M Captain Kirk)

Stuntdog and My Bus Tour of Historical Dog Sights

I have some exciting news today from my brother's blog ( http://www.silverscreenhub.com/ ). My brother is now selling products featuring his logo (or mascot) and my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. I am planning on having a launch of my own products with me on them, but I'm not extremely cooperative about having my photo made so it will take awhile. I keep telling the humans that models are paid for their time and trouble, and I happen to be a lot handsomer than the human models. Anyway, for anyone interested in looking at Phantom's products, all you have to do is go to the main page of his site, and there is a link to his new store.

I have been a super busy dog since being chosen as http://www.dogster.com/ dog of the week. How many of you saw me on Colbert's show? I had to turn Leno down because I didn't like how the network treated Conan so, although Leno and NBC was begging me to grace them with my attendance, I refused. Sometimes a dog has to take a stand. I was pleased to be on Conan's show. When he said to the audience, "put your paws together for Demon Flash Bandit", I felt so honored!!!

Maybe I'll get a bus and do a bus tour like Sarah Palin is doing at the moment. I can go to the really important spots in American history. I can see the town with the mayor who is a dog (Rabbit Hatch, Kentucky), I can watch the ships sail in the Great Lakes under the direction of Captain Imma Dog. I can stand on the site where John Fitzgerald Canine barked, "ask not where your milkbones are, ask the humans to buy you another box!". Yes, I think a bus tour of famous dog sites would be a perfect summer vacation. How many of you would like to join me on the tour?

Demon Flash Bandit (Touring Important Spots in Dog History)

Everyday Events

Hold the applause...the Deemster is back to write another blog. My stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman, is complaining because he keeps getting knocked down by Angel Zoom Smokey and myself. I told him to get used to it. After all, he is a stunt dog so falling should be one of the easier of his stunts. Can we help it if he has a tendency to get in our way?

The human who predicted the end of the world last weekend has set a new date for the end of the world. Does this guy have a life or does he just sit around trying to predict the end of the world? If I predicted it wrong once, I think I'd just give up, but some of the humans will still believe him. Humans are so much easier to fool that us dogs.

The weather here is getting warmer, and I do not approve. I guess it is time for me to go and have another talk with that Mother Nature character. If she tells me, there is nothing she can do about it, I am going to boycott that margarine company that used her for their commercials. It may not do any good, but a dog has to try something.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Everyday Events)

Phantom Fast Snowman Did Some Celebrating!

My humans celebrated New Year's Eve by staying home with Angel Zoom Smokey and myself. Since Angel and myself were available, it was senseless to leave the house. We had a nice time, and mainly watched television or spent some time on the computer. My human brother William, spent the night. However, we did have one member of the family who had a bit too much gin. Phantom Fast Snowman, our stunt dog, took partying very seriously--particularly after having some gin. Phantom's photo is on my blog today. We hid the keys to the car so that Phantom wouldn't get any ideas about going for a drive while drunk. I know he was already at home and didn't need to go anywhere, but when he gets into the gin, you never know what he is going to decide to do.

During the Christmas season, cookies being baked is a major holiday tradition. As usual, the police around the world have had to deal with many instances of gingerbread men causing problems. They usually run away from the baker, and then they sing annoying songs about not being able to catch them. Since the fox is the one who finally outsmarted the gingerbread man in the past, the police have put their canine officers in charge of apprehending the gingerbread criminals. None have been brought to court. The police aren't quite sure why, but they seem to disappear once they are found. The dogs say they are magical, and have the power to become invisible. That sounds like a reasonable assumption to me. On the subject of gingerbread, there has been a recall on gingerbread houses made by Rolf's Patisserie. I suggest that you don't eat a house made by this company.

When I write about criminal gingerbread men who run from justice, I like to be able to include good news as well. Fred Smith had went to the bank and withdrawn $1200. to use to buy Christmas gifts. He stopped to eat at Walt's Barbecue in Cincinnati, Ohio; and accidentally forgot the money. His waitress, Tricia Ayers, turned in the money and it was waiting at the restaurant for him to come and claim it. That waitress deserves the Demon Flash Bandit award for excellence. There are lots of good humans in the world which is why I like to mention them in my blog.

I hope that my readers have a very healthy and happy new year ahead.

Demon Flash Bandit (Glad To Have a Stunt Dog)

Introducing: Phantom Fast Snowman, Stunt Dog

Today I am introducing a new member of the family, and my personal stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman. As you can see from the photo, he is a full size stuffed husky that has blue eyes just like me. However, since he is not a real dog, he does not mind being dressed in outlandish costumes. Also, he has no complaints about anything the humans might decide to do to him no matter how embarrassing it would be for a real dog like myself. Phantom will also be Angel Zoom Smokey's stunt double. I am pleased to welcome Phantom to our family. The best thing about Phantom is that he does not want my Burger King, my bones, or my toys. Phantom does not bother me when I am napping either. Of course, Phantom does not possess my bubbly personality, but staying clear of my bones makes up for that. I don't want the competition anyway. It is about time I had a stunt double. I have been a star since I was a puppy, and all us dogs know that stars are too important to do their own stunts. What if they got hurt? It could delay filming and cost the studios a lot of money. Anyway, you will be seeing more of Phantom on my blog--no doubt wearing stupid clothes that Angel and I refuse to wear. Mommy should have known better than to buy the clothing for us in the first place, but at least now she can be happy because it won't go to waste. Phantom can model it for her.

I'm wishing all my readers a nice day from Demon Flash Bandit, Angel Zoom Smokey, and our new stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Finally Have My Own Stunt Dog!)