Sunday, December 12, 2010

Royal Wedding Invitation

I notice that my secretary did not delete the first paragraph of my blog yesterday as she was instructed by me. This is not the first time my secretary (obviously of the human persuasion) has not followed my orders. If she did not work free, I would fire her, and hire someone more dependable and obedient.

As many of my regular readers are already aware, I have been sharing correspondence with the Queen Lady (the Queen of England) ever since she came to New York City, and the Daily Show announced that she was having to cut back on household expenses. I felt bad for her so I offered her a job mowing my yard, an offer which she was happy to receive. However, family obligations have kept her from fulfilling her dream of mowing my yard. When Prince William announced the royal engagement, I assumed that this would be another year when the Queen Lady would have family obligations standing in the way of her lawn mowing dream. However, I received this letter yesterday, and I want to share it with my readers.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
How is my good pal doing? I hope this letter finds you in good health and enjoying some wonderful snow. I know you have heard about my grandson's upcoming wedding, and I want you to know that the date is set for April 29, 2011. This will give me the summer free to come by your house, meet you, and mow your yard. I have been anxious to meet you ever since we first started corresponding. I hope that you will be able to give me some practical advice for dealing with some of the political problems we have here while I am there because your dog advice is so valuable. I know your advice is highly sought after by world leaders so I hope you will have time to oblige me with this request. I'm so glad that someone of your dog intelligence and gift for diplomacy is available to help world leaders solve problems. If only all of them listened to your wisdom, the world would be a better place.

It is my wish that you can attend the wedding. I know you are a busy dog, but having you come to the wedding is all the kids can talk about. Last night at dinner, both William and Kate were asking me if I had heard from Demon Flash Bandit and was he available to attend their wedding. It would be such an honor if you grace us with your presence.

I am so pleased to count you as a friend, and I hope you won't think I'm bragging too much when I tell people that Demon Flash Bandit and myself are close pals.

Love, Queen Lady Elizabeth

I was touched by this letter. I get a lot of letters from celebrities, but I always enjoy hearing from her Majesty, the Queen Lady. It would be nice to attend the wedding, but this dog refuses to wear a tuxedo so if that is required, I won't be attending. I have standards.

Demon Flash Bandit (Corresponding with Her Majesty, The Queen Lady)

1 comment: