Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Name's Bandit, Demon Flash Bandit

The name's Bandit--Demon Flash Bandit. I like my water shaken not stirred. I'm practicing for my new role as a secret agent. Since I know how to speak fluent bird, I have been chosen to be a secret agent. I know you might ask, why are you posting it on your blog where everyone can read it since it is supposed to be a secret? I know my readers won't tell the birds, and birds are illiterate. We are talking about a species that flies into glass doors and windows. If a species is dumb enough to die because they flew into a window, I think teaching them to read is hopeless. By the way, I have mentioned this fact to my humans, and so far, no birds are in danger from flying into the windows at my house. It seems my humans aren't overly worried about window cleaning no matter how much it would help in the epic battle against birds. I think the technical term for it is laziness. It isn't that I really care how clean the windows happen to be, but it would be cool to watch a bird meet his maker after flying into one. It is like stand up comedy for dogs--only I guess you would have to call it fly in comedy. But I digest or digress--I am proud to be chosen by the CIAB (Central Information Agency on Birds) to be at the forefront of the fight against the evil little snow stealers. When I hear them outside singing because they stole all my snow, it makes me want to take my paw and smack them. I only hope that we dogs can stop them before they take over the planet. For such a stupid species, they really have the humans fooled, but I guess it isn't that hard to fool the humans.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bandit, Demon Flash Bandit)


  1. Here is how one must name dogs all over the world:
    Dog namming

  2. My humans never realized there were rules for naming dogs depending on the country of residence. That is interesting.

  3. Hey DFB,

    I just wanted you to know that I removed one of those pesky birds myself yesterday. Mom and Dad were giving me my daily walk, when I spied one of those snow stealers in a bush. I dove in and came out with it in my mouth! Mom and Dad were not pleased, but I didn't care because I knew I'd helped the cause. :0)

    Yours in bird eradication,