Sunday, April 4, 2010

Danger Humans: Danger!

I hope all my readers are having a very happy Easter, and I wish I could tell you that everything is right with the world, but I can't. In yesterday's blog, I mentioned Alfred Hitchcock's documentary, The Birds, in which he tries to warn people about birds. However, there have been other brave film makers who have been willing to make films that, instead of being fun entertainment, are documentaries warning us of other dangerous situations. Today I will discuss one that needs to be addressed as quickly as possible, and that is Killer Tomatoes. These tomatoes are such a problem that there isn't just one documentary about them--there are 4 documentaries about them.

The filmmaker started with a film entitled Attack of the Killer Tomatoes which was made in 1978. Since then, 3 other documentaries have been made. Since the humans never bother to do anything about these situations, another movie was made in 1988 entitled, Return of the Killer Tomatoes. In 1991, another film was made, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back. This is a film that could have been inspired by George Lucas. Also in 1991, the fourth in the series was made which was entitled, Killer Tomatoes Eat France. This last one was shown often in the White House during the W. Bush years when he was mad at France. He called it the ultimate "feel good" movie. In fact, W. wanted someone to make a documentary about killer pretzels, but so far, no filmmaker has had the courage to tell people the truth about their snack foods. In addition to the movies, an animated series was made so the entertainment industry has done all it can to warn people of dangers of tomatoes. Has it worked? Judging from the amount of websites dedicated to helping people grow tomatoes, I would say the answer is NO, IT HAS NOT!!!!

This dog is not fond of tomatoes because I prefer to eat my food, not have it eat me. I would think the humans would have the same attitude, but clearly, the humans are not as smart as us dogs. I do hope that something can be done. I am thinking that maybe if they built a giant tomato juicer, that might solve the problem, but I wouldn't want to create something worse--like killer tomato juice that can wipe out a city. You do have to be careful when dealing with problems of this magnitude. If any of you have any ideas about how to get rid of the killer variety of tomatoes, leave a comment. I will forward all comments to Homeland Security so they can decide which color alert to announce. Until then, when you see one of those tiny little tomatoes, don't assume all is well--protect yourself in case that tiny tomato has a bad attitude--and possibly a gun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Defending Myself and My Family From Killer Tomatoes)

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