Saturday, March 20, 2010

I'm Glad Mother Nature Doesn't Own a Calendar

Today is the first day of spring which means that my favorite season, winter is officially over. The only good thing for a Siberian Husky is that Mother Nature in the state of Michigan must not know that it is spring because there is often some snow in April so I'm glad Mother Nature doesn't have a calendar to tell her that it is too late for snow. What Mother Nature doesn't know is good for a husky. I would actually love to meet this Mother Nature person. Many years ago, they featured her on a margarine commercial. She would be given margarine and she would say it was butter, and then she would be told it wasn't butter, but was actually margarine. When Mother Nature found out she had been fooled, she would say, "it's not nice to fool Mother Nature", and you could hear thunder. To be fair, if Mother Nature was really that smart, she wouldn't have been able to be fooled so maybe she should have been mad at herself for not being smarter. I suspect that the commercial probably didn't depict Mother Nature as she really is. My guess is that she lives in a cave somewhere, and maybe only goes out to play Bingo a couple of times a week. Humans have been talking about her for years so you know she must be old. Does anyone know if Jack Frost is her son? It does seem logical that anyone named Mother Nature would have a son named Jack Frost. I happen to like Jack Frost because frost is another fun part of winter, and I love winter.

This brings me to the worst part of spring--BIRDS!!! It is bad enough that the weather gets warmer because the birds start stealing the snow when spring comes, but do they have to sing about what they have done. Most thieves are smart enough to keep their beaks shut, but birds love to sing about their misdeeds and annoy a dog! If I were Mother Nature, I would zap those birds out of the sky and shut up their stupid beaks for good. I'm sure the worms would agree with me on that. Worms aren't too fond of birds either which brings up another point. How can you trust a critter that likes to eat worms? They also eat seeds which annoys the humans since they often eat seed that the humans have planted. This is why farmers have to have scarecrows to try to scare the birds away from the farmer's crop. Sometimes they don't bother to eat the seed, but wait for it to grow so they can eat it when it is ready to harvest. As I said, they are thieves. Thieves that could cause humans and dogs to starve because they eat the crops, and yet the humans don't take their threat seriously.

There has been a recent surge in plane accidents involving birds so they have become terrorists. Yet Homeland Security has yet to issue a bird alert. I suppose this is because they are obsessed with issuing color alerts so the birds get by with causing mayhem for planes.

If anyone knows how to get in touch with Mother Nature, tell her Demon Flash Bandit would like to have a chat with her. I have some suggestions for her, but I'm not sure if she is going to like them.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Would Like to Meet Mother Nature)

1 comment:

  1. I have heard that Jack Frost is always nipping at people's noses. My Human once had an Australian Shepherd that did that. Maybe Jack Frost is a dog.

    Birds are stupid. We've had a couple fly in our house. They hit the wall. Stupid birds!