Pippi Longstocking and Pippa Middleton--Same Human?

Since the royal wedding, the press has been excited over the coverage of Pippa Middleton, Kate Middleton's sister. I thought her name was Pippi Longstocking, but Angel Zoom Smokey told me that Pippi Longstocking is her "stripper name". She wears long stockings that take a while to take off. I don't always believe Angel Zoom Smokey, but since there are photos of her on the Internet dancing in her bra, I have to give Angel Zoom Smokey credit for being right this time. I can't keep from wondering....is this really the family that Great Britain wants to have representing their country? We have humans like that in the United States, but you usually see them on television programs like Cops, where they are being arrested. It sounds like, once again, my pal, the Queen Lady is going to be busy doing damage control.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing the Royal Family)

Leonardo Dicaprio Breaks up With Girlfriend

Perhaps you saw the story about Leonardo Dicaprio breaking up with his super model girlfriend, Bar Refaeli. The media didn't tell the entire story of how it happened, but as usual, you can get the whole story from my blog. I have to admit that I am responsible for their breakup. I was visiting Leo at his home. I might add that Leo is not green and has outgrown that awkward mutant turtle stage nicely. Leo and I were having a great time together. He had arranged to have his assistant pick up some whoppers from Burger King for us to eat. They were delicious and we were chowing down on our tasty meal when the telephone rang. It was his girlfriend. Since Leo was in the magnificent presence of Demon Flash Bandit, and we were eating whoppers, he should have let it go to voice mail. Instead, he proceeded to take the call. As you can imagine, I was outraged because this interrupted my dinner.

This is when I realized that I needed to break up this couple for Leo's own good. This was easier to accomplish than you might think. I showed him a photo of Angel Zoom Smokey. she is one "smokin' hot" girl husky, thus the name Smokey. I arranged a meeting between the two and the rest is history. The next time Leo and I share a whopper, there will be no interruptions. I do feel sorry for Bar Rafaeli. When compared to a dog, she is always going to lose.

Demon Flash Bandit (The Truth Behind the News)

I Did Not Attend the Comic Con Because it was Stupid

My human brother, Jeff, and I went to the ComicCon in Novi, Michigan yesterday, and I was not allowed in because I'm a Dog! I was wearing my red Superdog cape, and I looked quite handsome if I do say so myself. I even winked at the admission ticket humans with my gorgeous blue eyes. Imagine my anger when they would not allow me to enter the event. We huskies are a stubborn breed so I didn't give up easily. I tried several times to make my way into the event. I told them I was Dylan Dog, but they didn't believe me. They told me Dylan Dog was not a dog. I told them I was one of the huskies from Marmaduke and I was told that Marmaduke was a dog who would not be allowed to enter either. I even bandaged my paws, and rode in a wheelchair hoping for the "sympathy" entrance, but that didn't work either. What a bunch of stupid human jerks!!! They allowed humans dressed as Storm Troopers and Artoodetoo into the ComicCon. I guess space aliens and robots are okay, but dogs are not. Who makes up these stupid rules anyway? When a world famous blogger like myself isn't allowed to enter, I'm surprised they have any celebrities that people want to see. Don't they realize that they could make a fortune getting 10% of the money I get for my pawtographs? It is their loss. I decided to head for Burger King to get a couple of burgers. Bacon on the burgers will help soothe my hurt feelings. I wouldn't be surprised if the humans running the ComicCon refused to allow bacon to be served. This is what happens when stupid humans are put in charge of things.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not Attending the ComicCon)

Thor and Bronx Zoom Escapee: The Peacock

The Bronx Zoo has been voted as the best place to be sent by all the animals in the wild. This is because the animals at that zoo always seem to manage to escape and run wild through New York City. I know there are a lot of weird things in New York, but you would think that the humans would notice when they see one of the escapees running around the town. I mean if I saw a cobra watching a Broadway play, I would think something was amiss. A short time ago, it was the Bronx Zoo Cobra that was loose, but more recently, a female peacock escaped from the Bronx Zoo. Of course, the peacock had her own twitter account under the name, Bronxzoopeacock. She isn't quite as popular as the cobra, but she does have over 4,000 followers. I'm sure that amount will probably not grow as much now that she has been captured. Yes, they have found her already, and they are still going to allow her to run loose because they are sure she will be happy at the zoo now and won't try to escape again. I think with stupid statements like that, all us dogs understand how the animals manage to escape. Besides, I'm sure the peacock was just trying to get to her job at NBC as their mascot. Of course, the cobra and peacock aren't the only ones to escape from the zoo, they are also searching for a homeless person who escaped from captivity. I guess the zoo can't even keep the homeless humans from escaping, and the zoo even provides them with meals!





I went to see Thor yesterday. As usual, I put on a shirt, and the humans at the theatre never noticed that I am a dog. I enjoyed the movie. Thor reminded me of a husky because he was strong and handsome. There should have been more dogs, but the movie studios are too cheap to pay the dogs what we would deserve. Thor was an excellent movie, and I enjoyed watching it.




Demon Flash Bandit (Wondering if There are Any Animals in the Bronx Zoo)

Spray On Hair or Chia Hair--Which is Best?

Finally, the humans have discovered an answer to an age old problem. When the humans start losing hair, what can they do to make it look like they aren't bald? The humans had to solve this one on their own because dogs usually keep their fur, and even if they don't, they don't tend to worry about it. We know we look good whether we are covered in fur or not. This probably explains why the product I am going to talk about today is definitely the invention of a human and not a dog. Personally, I don't know any dogs who would want to take "credit" for inventing it. That product is Spray On Hair. It comes in different colors and can be purchased through Amazon.com. Spray On Hair is supposed to look like hair and it is removable with shampoo. I think it might not hurt to make sure it isn't removable by plain water or swimming would not be a good idea if you really want to keep the illusion of hair. Personally, this dog would rather see the humans plant chia seeds on their heads to create a head of chia hair. If the humans plants edible plants on their head, then they would always have food when they are hungry. In addition, rabbits would be very friendly if the humans had some tasty greens growing on their heads. I think the product is a bit silly, but I have more than enough fur. In fact, I have so much fur that I shed a lot of it all around the house much to the enjoyment of the humans with whom I live.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing a Product)

Great Blog Creates Great Responsibility

It always makes me feel good to see the importance of my blog on the world around me. Recently I wrote a blog about No Pants Day. Today I saw an article on the Internet about an attorney in Austria who dropped his pants while his client was being questioned. This happened on April 20 in the hamlet of Mayrhoten and was reported in the Tiroler Tageszetung. It is a shame that the attorney was unidentified, because if I knew his name, I could let him know that No Pants Day doesn't happen until May. He must have been so excited over the upcoming No Pants Day that he started celebrating early. It is also heartwarming to see the day spreading around the world. I wrote a blog about financial zombies, and it is now Zombie Month. I can't tell you how it feels to have the ideas of one dog so quickly incorporated into the humans' lives. It also brings with it a very sobering thought. Very much like Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. I hope that I can continue writing this blog and make the world a better, possibly even pantless, place. Perhaps one day the humans will read my blogs about evil birds and realize that birds must die.

With the importance of my blog subject in mind, I have carefully chosen my subject for today. That subject is tennis balls. They are cool because they fit in most dogs' mouths, and they feel fuzzy which makes them feel furry like us dogs. They bounce, and they are lots of fun. Okay, you may have guessed, but tennis balls aren't really the important topic of the day. However, they are fun and deserve to be mentioned. The real topic today is that yesterday was Mother's Day, and in keeping with my blog about Mother's Day being a day to give something special to the family dog or dogs, I got my wish. Mommy brought an entire foot long Angus Subway sandwich just for me. It had provolone cheese and it was delicious! This proves that with great responsibility comes great rewards. Had I not written that blog telling the humans what to do for Mother's Day, my humans would have never figured it out for themselves. Humans just don't have that much brain power. I can only hope that other humans read my blog and got great stuff for their dogs thanks to my wisdom. I have to go now so that I can take a nap. This
"great responsibility" stuff makes a dog tired.

Demon Flash Bandit (With Great Blog Comes Great Responsibility)

Read Zombie Economics--Avoid Filing Boneruptcy

I have decided to inform my readers about a new book that is available for public consumption which has the potential to change your economic life. That book is called Zombie Economics and it was written by John Quiggen. Amazon.com has this book for $16.47 at the present time, and it is money well spent. The book discusses how, very much like zombies from the movies, there are financial zombies who threaten your financial well being. I have to tell you that this book has really made a difference in my life. I'm sure I'm not the only dog who has noticed that there is always one dog in the pack who won't share their milkbones. When you have a milkbone, they will ask you to share and are always bugging those of us who work hard for our bones to give them our hard earned treats. For many of us dogs, we really don't have to work that hard, but we do have to hang around the humans and look cute. Sometimes we even have to sit or beg for our treats so those doggy moochers think they can just walk up without doing any tricks or hanging out keeping the humans company and get a treat from a dog who was willing to give the extra paw to the humans. Before you realize it, those doggy bums have eaten all your treats and you have nothing to eat. In fact, there have been terrible stories of dogs who have had to file for boneruptcy because other dogs have had them copaw for milkbone loans and generally have used up all the dogs bones. Don't let this happen to you. Get the book and read it. You'll be glad you did, and you don't have to thank me. I enjoy watching out for my readers!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Economic Zombie Dogs)