Super Sized Coffee Pots

I personally don't like to drink coffee, and neither do my humans. However, most of the humans in the United States love coffee. Some of them have to have it first thing in the morning or they can't function. For those people, just a cup of coffee often is not enough. Yet we know that most coffee pots don't make a great deal of coffee so I have searched the Internet for some coffee pots that will brew up enough coffee for even the people who have trouble brewing enough coffee. Here is the link:
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/33447
I think that these large sized coffee pots would make enough coffee to make even the biggest coffee addict happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Coffee Pots)

Pez Dispenser for Dogs

As a dog who likes candy very much, I am very pleased to see that the Pez candy company did not forget us dogs. Yes, you can get a Pez candy dispenser for dogs, and that makes Pez a great company in this dog's opinion. I think it is wonderful that a dog can get Pez candy dispensed at the touch of a paw. I think it is candy, but if not candy, at least it is a dog treat that a dog will enjoy. (Personally, I would prefer candy!) The dispenser looks like a dog, and it is super cool in that is it bigger than the standard human size Pez dispenser. I am getting hungry just looking at it on the Internet. I guess the humans can eat the dog treats too so I would make sure they know it belongs to the dog. Here is the link so that you can order one for yourself. I'm sure they would make any dog happy.
http://www.amazon.com/Extra-Large-Beagle-Dispenser-Treats/dp/B002RAXZNU

Demon Flash Bandit (I Want a Dog Pez Dispenser)

Bird Hit Dog--Perfect Job for Demon Flash Bandit

Imagine my interest when I saw that an airport in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is willing to pay a lot of money for someone who can get rid of birds around the airport. Birds cause a lot of problems for airplanes so they think it is worth paying a "bird killer". As a Siberian Husky, I think Florida is a bit too hot, and they never have any snow, but I could keep the air conditioner going for such a perfect job for me. I like to think of myself as a "bird hit dog". I don't like birds, and I don't trust birds, and I think I could make sure the airport was bird free. I'd like to make the whole planet bird free so it is a job that I would be proud to do. It would also solve that problem of whenever I ask for something cool I see on the Internet that a dog would love to have, my human tells me that I have no money. Recently I wrote a blog about an animated zombie dog that was only $5,700. and I was planning to buy it and use it on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters away from my house. Every year those little deadbeats come by wanting a dog's candy. The humans, being stupid humans, give the children candy that could be eaten by the family dog if the humans had any sense at all. This is why it is great that I can get a job doing what I do best, and get enough money so that a dog can buy whatever he chooses to buy. Asking the humans for money isn't right--dogs should have their own stash of cash. To show that I am not just making this up, here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/you-can-make-dollar76000-a-year-scaring-birds-in-sunny-florida

In the future, I expect that my blogs will be coming to you from Florida.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hit Dog)

McDonalds Corporate Secrets

I just read on the Internet that there is a McDonalds employee who is telling all McDonalds behind the scenes company secrets. I don't know how an employee could stoop so low to divulge the secrets to the outside world when McDonalds is such a great place to work. I'm sure that employee won't be so happy if he (or she) loses the job when the corporation finds out. How do we even know that the empoyee is telling the truth? For example, the "mac sauce" is not really Thousand Island salad dressing. I know because I've seen the "gun" they use to put it on the burger and it clearly says Mac sauce. There is no way an employee would know what is actually in there because it is a highly secret item. McDonalds does not allow their employees to know their big secrets like that. However, you know some smart alec employees like to act like they know these big secrets and they tell everyone it is Thousand Island dressing.

Is the employee telling everyone that McDonalds no longer mixes the batter for pancakes themselves and does not make them on the grill? That employee is probably telling everyone that the pancakes are now already cooked, frozen, and microwaved. It might affect sales if the customer realizes that they can pick up some frozen pancakes in the freezer section of the supermarket and put them in the microwave for a very short time, and voila, they have the same basic thing that they are buying at McDonalds. Of course, McDonalds has the human laziness on their side....it is a lot more trouble to get some pancakes out of the freezer and microwave them at home when they can just drive through drive-thru and get them without even getting out of their car.

I could write more about McDonalds, but I have 3 burgers waiting for me that Mommy picked up for me when she dropped Jeff off at work. I think it is time for me to get off the computer and go and eat my burgers. By the way, my burgers are plain. This dog does not need mac sauce. I like my burgers without all the extras.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Hamburgers)

Demon Flash Bandit: Dog Needs Toilet Tank Aquarium!

In my last blog, I mentioned a cool product I found on the Internet that is a toilet tank and an aquarium all in one. I think this is not only a cool product, but a product that a dog would find very entertaining. As I predicted, when I told Mommy I wanted her to order one and have it installed (and I didn't insist she put it in both bathrooms even though that would be a great idea), she told me that the ones in those bathrooms are working just fine, and she sees no need to spend money to replace things that work okay. At least she did agree that it would be cool to have one which makes her a lot more intelligent than some of the other humans--one of which called it (and I quote) "silly". I would order it myself, but it seems that a dog does not get paid for writing a blog (yeah, it seems crazy to me too--I've read some of the blogs written by humans and they aren't even interesting). Anyway, I had one of those moments when a lightbulb goes off over my head. It didn't hurt that I was sitting under a light fixture when it happened, but I knew that I had solved my problem of getting the fish tank toilet. All I have to do is ask my readers to send me money. Here is the address:
Demon Flash Bandit
United States
I'm sure that will be enough for the post office to get the money to me. I'm sure all the humans know who I am, and are probably jealous of my many, many postings which are always better than anything they could write. I am sure that, with all the money coming in, I'll be able to put aquarium toilet tanks in both bathrooms. Mommy said that there are more important things to give money to--like people who are starving and homeless, but I say that if you give a dog a fish toilet, he will be entertained for at least a week. I think that makes donating to my cause far more important than all the other causes out there. Remember, I need to watch fish when I'm laying on the bathroom floor, which happens to be one of the cooler spots in the house in which to lay. Being a husky, I always check to find the coolest spots!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Needs Your Help)

Watching the Fish Swim

Once again, I have searched the Internet for an item that is cool that I can write a blog about. Today it is an aquarium and toilet all in one. There is also a sink that has an aquarium. Imagine having fish swimming around the toilet. I showed this to a couple of cats and they loved it. In fact, they are getting their fishing poles ready in case their human orders one. I think it would be very cool for a dog to be able to watch fish while laying on the bathroom floor. It would be very entertaining, and a dog needs entertainment. I can also imagine how much fun it would be to watch a cat fishing from the top of the toilet tank. The link to this great product is:
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/09/under-the-sea-fish-n-flush-toi.php

I've got to go now and try to talk my humans into buying this. I bet I will hear the usual, "why should we replace something that works okay just because the dog wants something more unusual". I get so tired of the humans being cheap and not giving a dog what he wants. Perhaps I'll just get some plastic money out of my human Mommy's purse and order it myself. Do you think they speak dog or do I need to use my human words?

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants Cool Aquarium Toilet)

Bacon: Not Just for Snacking Anymore!

I was doing some research on the Internet on a topic which I happen to feel is of major importance to dogs everywhere: BACON! I have yet to meet a dog who does not enjoy bacon. It turns out that some street vendors in various parts of the country serve hot dogs wrapped in bacon which is finally a hot dog worth eating. I personally don't care much for hot dogs. I have eaten a bite of them on occasion, but I usually let Angel Zoom Smokey have them. I happen to be a very picky dog! However, I LOVE bacon, and said bacon might even make a hot dog worth trying. Besides, you can always eat the bacon that is wrapped around it and leave the hot dog for another dog. I think they should sell pre-wrapped bacon dogs in the supermarket. Bacon: it's not just for snacking anymore!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon)

Herd the Alligators to Gatorland

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how a dog should not have an alligator as a pet. Today, after reading my blog, the Internet news had some news about alligators. As usual, I, Demon Flash Bandit, have set the pace for the news the following day. I don't know what they would do without me to give them things to write about. Anyway, an alligator bit a person in a hotel room in Lousiana. In another news item, a lady in Florida came home to find an alligator in her house. The assumption is that it got in through the doggy door, and she thinks it wanted to eat her cats. Does the stupid alligator not realize that cats are not for alligators to eat? They are for dogs. I wouldn't eat a cat, but if anyone eats a cat, it should be a dog. Alligators can eat many other types of animals in the wild. They should leave the cats alone. Besides, they might not get filled up completely on cats and then they might go after the family dog. This is why I think all alligators should be in Gatorland in Orlando, Florida where they belong. Can't the states that have them hire some "gatorboys" (like cowboys for cows), who can herd all the alligators to Gatorland. At least there the humans can enjoy watching them, and they don't cause any trouble. If only dogs were running the world....humans never think of solutions that make sense. Here is the story of the alligators mentioned in the news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/alligator-visits-louisian_0_n_1420218.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl16%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D152115

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Would Hire "Gatorboys")

I Am the Proud Owner of a Fur Factory

Due to the recent recession which does seem to be getting better, there are many factories that have closed their doors and are now empty. The workers who worked there in the past are no longer working at those jobs. However, I like to impart good news to my readers so I want to discuss one factory that was never slowed by the economy. That factory is my fur factory. My humans are always saying that I'm shedding a lot of fur which seems to be a common thing said among Siberian Husky owners. However, that is erroneous information. Actually, I am not shedding my fur because I happen to be a fur factory and production has been good. In fact, it has been good since I was a puppy, and it continues to flourish. Instead of complaining about it, the humans should be happy that one segment of the economy, fur production, is doing well. In fact, I plan to start selling my fur on the Internet. Who wouldn't want my fur decorating their home? I think it looks lovely on everything. Besides, a human can have a fur coat without feeling bad about harming any small animals. I think coats made with fur from our factories will be the furs of the future--and we all know how expensive the fur coats happen to be. We dogs are going to make a fortune!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fur Factory Owner)

Man Who Thinks Like A Dog!

I've written in the past about how us dogs know how to live. Most of us dogs don't work....we get to enjoy life. I've often wondered why the humans are so obsessed with work. In fact, if I were unfortunate enough to be a human, I think I would wear a dog suit. I'd try to get adopted by a human who would feed me so I could nap and avoid work, and I'm a "working breed". I'm sure the other breeds like to work even less than I do. However, today I saw this item on the Internet, and it did give me some hope for the humans. A human in Austria sawed off his foot-evidently to avoid going to work. Finally a human with some sense, I admire his dedication to getting out of work. I don't think I would be willing to cut off a paw to get out of work. Finally, a human who understands that work is not fun and should be avoided-even if you lose a paw. Here is the address for those who want to read more about this story.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/austrian-saws-off-foot_n_1379639.html?ref=weird-news&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl22%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D146754

Demon Flash Bandit (Work is Not Fun!)

Dogs: Behind the Scenes in Government!

I read on the Internet today that about 2 dozen lawmakers bring their dogs with them to Congress. I find this very reassuring because when the humans are left to fend for themselves without dogs, they do a lot of stupid things. Knowing that dogs are there makes me feel better because I know the dogs won't let anything too stupid get past them. I was very pleased when shortly after Obama was elected President, he had the good sense to get a dog. I am sure that Bo Obama makes sure that President Obama makes the right decisions. It is a shame that more of the humans don't know how much these dogs make things better for the humans. I think it would make more sense if the humans just voted the dogs in directly, but at least the dogs are there taking care of things "behind the scenes". This is probably why Hank the Cat decided to run for the senate. Personally, I think dogs do a better job than cats, but I'm sure a cat would be much better than a human. All us dogs know how stupid the humans are. For those who want to read more about the dogs in congress, here is the link.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/power-players-abc-news/congress-going-dogs-101746818.html

Be sure and enter my contest to win a t-shirt with my photo on it! Enter by leaving a comment on my blog on the blogs dated March 15, 2012-April 15, 2012. You can also enter by giving me your name on my pawmail at http://www.dogster.com/. Good luck!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Behind the Scenes!)

Houses Making People (And Dogs) Fat

I can honestly say that I don't have a problem with being fat. I happen to be the right size. My humans can't say the same thing though. This is a problem with many of the humans, and I am happy to be able to solve this problem for them with this blog. I happened upon an article today on the Internet entitled, "Is Your House Making you Fat"? This means that it isn't the humans' fault when they are fat....we now know that the house they are living in is to blame. I have long thought that there is a conspiracy involving houses and other buildings causing problems for the humans, but this is the first time anyone has had the guts to say it. It makes perfect sense to me. I personally have known people that can eat everything in sight and they are thin. Some of the fatter people eat far less than those thin people, and yet they are fat. Now they know that it is their house causing the problem for them. I think that the humans need to sit their houses down and tell them to quit making them fat. Houses know they can get by with it because, up until now, no one suspects that they are the problem. Now that we know, we can make the houses get with the program and quit making the humans (and dogs) fat. I don't think we should stop at houses. If houses have to stop making the humans fat, then other buildings will try to take over. It is about time we tell those buildings that they are in big trouble, and we know what they are up to. I'm glad I am able to stop this problem. Here is the web address so you can read more about houses making people (and dogs) fat:
http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/house-making-fat-163700763.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Won't Let Houses Get By With Making Humans and Dogs Fat)