Three Annoying Little Pigs and their Nice Neighbor, the Wolf

Once upon a time there were three little pigs who were kicked out of the pig parents' house because they were so annoying. Thus they had to build houses for themselves. Sure, they could build one house and live together, but these pigs weren't just annoying, they were also stupid. The first little pig built his house out of paper--it was actually newspaper that he found on the neighbor's doorstep. The neighbor was a nice guy--a wolf who was quite handsome and looked a lot like some of us dogs. You can imagine how he felt about having his newspaper stolen so that a pig could use it to build a house in his neighborhood. The second little pig built his house out of cardboard--a refrigerator box to be exact. I don't think I need to tell you that this did not make the neighbors any happier. The third little pig built his house out of cloth--he found a tent and his house was the nicest of the three. The neighbors all got together and asked the wolf to go to the little pigs' houses and try to get them to move to another neighborhood since they were bringing down the property values. The wolf knocked on the first little pig's door--you don't expect houses made of paper to have a doorbell, do you? The little pig said: "who is there", and the wolf said, "it is I, the wolf". The little pig told him that he wasn't home. The wolf then went to the second little pig's house made from the box, and knocked on the door. This time he was told, "I don't owe you any money so get out of here". He went to the third little pig's house and knocked on the door there, and the little pig said: "I gave at the office". Needless to say, the wolf was getting very annoyed so he went to the city and registered a complaint at the zoning department, and the city workers came and condemned the pigs' houses. The moral to this story is: when the wolf comes to the door, the city could be next, or there could be barbeque bacon and ham for dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (True Story of the Three Little Pigs)

Spring Cleaning

Spring is in the air, and this dog wants to help the humans start cleaning the house. Most of us dogs like things to be super clean so we look forward to spring cleaning. Yes, I love working around the house. It is one of my favorite things to do. This is an April Fool's blog. I don't know how I managed to write those sentences about cleaning without cracking up. I honestly don't care if the house is clean or not. I would prefer to take a nap so I won't actually be doing any cleaning. We dogs are way to smart to get stuck helping the humans clean.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy April Fools Day)

Houses Making People (And Dogs) Fat

I can honestly say that I don't have a problem with being fat. I happen to be the right size. My humans can't say the same thing though. This is a problem with many of the humans, and I am happy to be able to solve this problem for them with this blog. I happened upon an article today on the Internet entitled, "Is Your House Making you Fat"? This means that it isn't the humans' fault when they are fat....we now know that the house they are living in is to blame. I have long thought that there is a conspiracy involving houses and other buildings causing problems for the humans, but this is the first time anyone has had the guts to say it. It makes perfect sense to me. I personally have known people that can eat everything in sight and they are thin. Some of the fatter people eat far less than those thin people, and yet they are fat. Now they know that it is their house causing the problem for them. I think that the humans need to sit their houses down and tell them to quit making them fat. Houses know they can get by with it because, up until now, no one suspects that they are the problem. Now that we know, we can make the houses get with the program and quit making the humans (and dogs) fat. I don't think we should stop at houses. If houses have to stop making the humans fat, then other buildings will try to take over. It is about time we tell those buildings that they are in big trouble, and we know what they are up to. I'm glad I am able to stop this problem. Here is the web address so you can read more about houses making people (and dogs) fat:
http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/house-making-fat-163700763.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Won't Let Houses Get By With Making Humans and Dogs Fat)