Bird Hit Dog--Perfect Job for Demon Flash Bandit

Imagine my interest when I saw that an airport in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is willing to pay a lot of money for someone who can get rid of birds around the airport. Birds cause a lot of problems for airplanes so they think it is worth paying a "bird killer". As a Siberian Husky, I think Florida is a bit too hot, and they never have any snow, but I could keep the air conditioner going for such a perfect job for me. I like to think of myself as a "bird hit dog". I don't like birds, and I don't trust birds, and I think I could make sure the airport was bird free. I'd like to make the whole planet bird free so it is a job that I would be proud to do. It would also solve that problem of whenever I ask for something cool I see on the Internet that a dog would love to have, my human tells me that I have no money. Recently I wrote a blog about an animated zombie dog that was only $5,700. and I was planning to buy it and use it on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters away from my house. Every year those little deadbeats come by wanting a dog's candy. The humans, being stupid humans, give the children candy that could be eaten by the family dog if the humans had any sense at all. This is why it is great that I can get a job doing what I do best, and get enough money so that a dog can buy whatever he chooses to buy. Asking the humans for money isn't right--dogs should have their own stash of cash. To show that I am not just making this up, here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/you-can-make-dollar76000-a-year-scaring-birds-in-sunny-florida

In the future, I expect that my blogs will be coming to you from Florida.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hit Dog)

Zombie Dog to Scare Trick or Treaters

Zombies are dead humans who come back to life to eat other humans' brains. This must be highly frustrating for the zombies because the humans have such small, uninteresting brains. This might explain why the zombies never seem to get any smarter no matter how many brains they eat. Dogs do not become zombies because, once a dog has crossed over the bridge, we are not going to hang around Earth to eat brains. We dogs would prefer to hang out in paradise, and enjoy playing and napping until our humans and pals arrive when we can see them again. Only the humans would be dumb enough to hang around Earth and act stupid like zombies. However, you can order a zombie dog as a Halloween decoration which is super cool, and for only $5,700, I can only imagine how many people are going to buy this animated dog to scare the trick or treaters. Since those trick or treaters want free candy that a dog could be eating, I say anything that scares the little deadbeats away is well worth the cost. I am not a fan of human puppies coming to the door and eating all of a dog's candy. For those of you who say it is not the dog's candy, I say, if the dog can get it, then it is the dog's candy! This zombie dog is a very cool item, and I'm sure everyone will want one. Here is the link so that my readers can buy this super cool zombie item:
http://www.thehorrordome.com/zombie-guard-dog-haunted-house-amimatronic.aspx

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Zombie Dogs)

Zombie Dogs

The humans have been in the process of creating zombie dogs. Basically, the idea is that they take a dog and kill it so they can bring it back to life. The experiment is supposed to help the humans find out how to save humans and bring them back when the medical establishment can help them. (I am going to assume that, here in the United States, the ones without health insurance would stay dead.) Sure, this is what they say, but I think the project is really a way to find out what makes human zombies eat brains and act stupid. If they can make sure dog zombies don't share this behavior, they might stand a chance of stopping human zombies before they start a zombie apocalypse. There have been way too many instances on the news about humans eating other humans in recent weeks. I guess the experiments must be on some kind of "deadline" if this continues. Yes, I just love the play on words that a dog blogger can enjoy. Anyway, I am not sure that I like the idea of turning dogs into zombies. Those dogs could be running free over the bridge and instead they are being forced to hang out in some lab so the humans can do experiments. Sure, a labrador might be okay with it, but not a Siberian Husky. We like to run our own lives! Here is the link for my readers can read about it for themselves:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/11/magazine/11ideas_section4-21.html?_r=1

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Zombie Dog)