Zombie Dog to Scare Trick or Treaters

Zombies are dead humans who come back to life to eat other humans' brains. This must be highly frustrating for the zombies because the humans have such small, uninteresting brains. This might explain why the zombies never seem to get any smarter no matter how many brains they eat. Dogs do not become zombies because, once a dog has crossed over the bridge, we are not going to hang around Earth to eat brains. We dogs would prefer to hang out in paradise, and enjoy playing and napping until our humans and pals arrive when we can see them again. Only the humans would be dumb enough to hang around Earth and act stupid like zombies. However, you can order a zombie dog as a Halloween decoration which is super cool, and for only $5,700, I can only imagine how many people are going to buy this animated dog to scare the trick or treaters. Since those trick or treaters want free candy that a dog could be eating, I say anything that scares the little deadbeats away is well worth the cost. I am not a fan of human puppies coming to the door and eating all of a dog's candy. For those of you who say it is not the dog's candy, I say, if the dog can get it, then it is the dog's candy! This zombie dog is a very cool item, and I'm sure everyone will want one. Here is the link so that my readers can buy this super cool zombie item:
http://www.thehorrordome.com/zombie-guard-dog-haunted-house-amimatronic.aspx

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Zombie Dogs)

Movie Review: Prometheus

Today I am going to do a movie review of Prometheus, which is the reason I did not get to write a blog yesterday. I was busy going to the theatre. Before I get into the movie review, the film company ran this horror movie "short" that has a man and he turns into a bird. My regular readers who know my thoughts on birds, can imagine how scary that was for me. I almost got up and left the theatre, but I stayed because I know how much my readers depend on my movie reviews. Prometheus is the prequel to the movie, Alien, which came out many years ago. It is about a couple of historians and scientists who think that aliens came to Earth years ago, and left an invitation for the humans to come and see them. Personally, I think they were silly because if they had the advanced technology and they had helped to create the humans, you would think they would stop in and see what is going on with them, or maybe they aren't around anymore. Either way, this dog would not waste time and money going to see them. Of course, if the characters in the movie thought that way, there would be no movie so they didn't see it the way I do. Anyway, they made it to the destination, and you'll have to watch the movie to see what happens when they get there. I really don't care if this spoils the movie or not, but I do have to give out one spoiler alert. After all the money, time and trouble to get there, they found that the line in drive thru at McDonalds was even longer than the ones on Earth. All that way for a fast food meal and they still had to wait. This caused a lot of tension among the characters in the movie.

I give this movie a tail wag and a couple of paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale. Considering that I hated the Alien movie, then that is actually a stellar rating from me. I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Dogs at the United Nations

I have some good news to report today. I have a link to share with my readers about a group of dogs who took over the United Nations. This dog will rest easier at naptime knowing that dogs are taking care of the major world decisions. Look what happens when you leave things to the humans--they invent ways to blow up the planet! I don't happen to think that blowing up planet Earth is a particularly good idea. Even birds who want to take over don't want to destroy the planet completely. They just want to run it themselves. Here is the link:
http://now.msn.com/now/0603-dog-united-nations.aspx
I might add that the dogs look a lot cuter than the delegates who are human--not that I mean any insult to the humans, but dogs just happen to be a lot cuter than humans.

Since I have written about the zombie news stories in the past week, I have a link to share for those who want to read more about zombies. Here it is:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/03/zombie-apocalypse-after-g_n_1566257.html
Whether these are actual zombies or just really "sick" humans, I don't think that zombie insurance I mentioned is a bad idea. I wonder....are the dogs meeting at the United Nations to try to stop the zombies? It makes sense that the humans would turn to an animal with superior intelligence in that situation: DOGS!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Take Over United Nations)

Trilogy Movie Review: The Napkins (Series)

Today I am going to do a movie review of 3 movies--The Napkin Trilogy-which have been such a major success at the box office. Everyone wants to see these movies, and who can blame them? They are 3 of the best movies Hollywood has ever made!

Napkins 1: The Clean-Up

Alien space napkins come to Earth to clean the planet. They give up and return to their home planet.

Napkins 2: The Return of the Napkins

After they return home due to the hopelessness of trying to clean Earth, they decide to return to try once again to clean the planet.

Napkins 3: the Final Stand

After 20 years of cleaning the planet, the napkins finally give up completely and return to their home planet, Urcleanus.

I'm not saying that a Napkins 4 is not possible, but I seriously doubt that the studio will want to make another one.

Next time you pick up a napkin to wipe off some food on your face, look closely at that napkin to make sure it isn't a space alien!

I have been given the da Liebster award by my pal and fellow blooger, Whitley Westie. I will be posting more about this in the next day or two--when my computer illerate Mommy finds out how to link stuff. Mommy says that when she was in school, they were taught to type on non-electric typewriters. I don't think any such thing exists so I suspect she is lying to me. You know how the older humans are....we used to have to walk through 20 inches of snow to get to school, and we lived in the tropics. The oldsters sure love to exaggerate all the horror they had to go through as children! I would hire a more computer savvy secretary, but Mommy works free so I can't beat her price.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Napkin Trilogy)

Captain Demon Flash Bandit's Log-9/14/11

Captain Demon Flash Bandit's Log, Sept. 14, 2011

I was chosen once again by Star Fleet Dogster.com to be a log pick (diary pick) today. I suspect this is because of my vast experience flying around space taking care of the bad aliens. Just the other day, I found a planet full of fleas and I got out the Raid torpedo and killed them dead. I prefer killing them dead because killing them alive would mean that they are still around to pester a dog. I'm not the one that came up with the idea of killing them dead, but that was thanks to the ad agency that did the commercials for Raid. Yeah, I thought it was kind of redundant too, but who am I to complain about a company who gets rid of bugs? I'm just glad I got to those fleas before they reached the dog star. The dogs there do not like fleas anymore than us dogs on Earth like them.

We have a new science officer on board the ship. At least I think the new dog is the science officer because he is a lab. Yeah, I bet you didn't see that one coming. In fact, we even have a ship bouncer. He is the one who goes around telling the barking dogs that if they don't quit barking, he will pull the ship over and we will sit and wait until they quiet down. The chihuahuas hate him because they love to bark, but he likes quiet. A cat slipped on board and we put the cat in the brig. I personally don't mind cats, but some of the dogs hate them. He will be given his freedom when we get back to Earth.

That is it for today. This is Captain Demon Flash Bandit...soon to be Admiral Demon Flash Bandit signing off before going where no dog has gone before!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Starship Captain)

Destination: Spam Museum!

• In the summertime, a dog's thoughts turn to where the family should go on vacation. Thanks to a Minnesota travel guide, I have found a perfect destination for both humans and dogs. That place is the Spam Museum. As you can deduce from the name, it is a museum dedicated to spam. The best thing about the museum is that the admission is free. I can't think of a better place to spend a vacation than the Spam Museum. How often can you combine culture and food in one museum? Sure, you can go to the Metropolitan Museum instead, but I doubt that any of their exhibits are as interesting to a dog as the exhibits in the Spam Museum. In fact, I doubt that the Metropolitan has any of the series of paintings of dogs playing poker which are the best paintings ever done. Most museums want them, but can't afford such magnificent works of art. They don't even have my painting, What Dogs Mean to the Earth. This was posted on my blog on July 12, 2011 under the title, Demon Flash Bandit: Artist.



• The Spam Museum is located in Austin, Minnesota with 16,500 square feet of Spam. Admission to the museum is free so you might want to visit more than once. I'm sure some of the dogs will want to spend more than one day there. I bet there is even spam in the gift shop for sale. If you ask this dog, there is nothing better than a souvenir that can be eaten when you are hungry!

Demon Flash Bandit (Vacation Destination-Spam Museum)

Demon Flash Bandit: Artist!

I have a real treat for my readers today. I was fortunate enough to spend a bit of time in the Modern Art section of the Detroit Institute of Arts. This visit made me realize that I too can be an artist. I came home and immediately made a masterpiece with my own paws. I am calling it "What Dogs Mean to the Earth". I used the circle to represent the Earth. Sure, some of my dog pals told me that it is square, but I think the circle looks nicer and the humans seem to think it is circular and this painting is for them. The paw represents the paw prints that dogs leave behind on the planet. Whenever I see a dog paw print, I know that the world where that dog walked is a better place for having had a paw touch down there. The many colors represent the colors a dog adds to all the humans lives. Without us dogs, their world would be like a black and white colorless television. They would live sad, solitary existences with only other humans to keep them company, and that would be tragic!

To think that I might have never realized what artistic talent I possess had it not been for attending the art museum. I'll admit my painting is no "dogs playing poker", but that painting is not modern art. Modern art is art that often looks like it was done by someone in kindergarten, but it has a intellectual explanation that makes the artist look super intelligent which is why it is worth so much. Of course, if you buy a painting done by an intelligent artist, that makes the buyer look intelligent too. The wealthy humans like to buy paintings that may look like garbage, but that show they are super intelligent. You'd think they would just hang up their bank books since many of the humans seem to think that intelligence and money go together. I don't think they do because, from what I have read on the news, some of the humans running companies and making lots of money are complete idiots. Of course, I'm quite sure they are blissfully unaware of their stupidity.

I'm sure many of my readers are going to be asking me if they can buy a copy of my painting. At present, I have no plans to sell them. I have one original and I am giving that to my humans so they can hang it on the wall and make the house look better. It is my contribution to the betterment of mankind. However, if you want to copy my painting, just let me know and I'll give you permission since I like to make humans happy. Just let me know that you are enjoying it. My address is:

demonflashbandit@gmail.com I like to know that the humans enjoy my talent. Who knows? I might even get out some paints and make another masterpiece that I share with my readers as long as my readers enjoy my masterpiece.

Demon Flash Bandit (Artist)

Interplanetary Outsourcing

For those of you who saw the item on the Internet news about the UFO seen over China, which is just the latest in a string of sightings, I am here to put every one's mind at ease on the subject. As many humans living in the United States are well aware, many jobs that used to be done here are being outsourced to China, India, and other small nations around the world because the people in those countries are willing to work for cheaper wages. China has become one of the main places where those jobs are shipped. Do you really think space aliens wouldn't hear about it while they are hanging around our atmosphere out in space? The UFOs are carrying corporate representatives from their planet to negotiate having their products made in China. They even have alien transportation methods so that shipping will be a cinch--they can just teleport the objects back to their planet. The next time you see a report about a UFO over China, don't worry about it. You know it is just an alien corporation trying to save money on production costs. I refer to it as Interplanetary Outsourcing.

I will admit that not all the UFOs are here with corporate representatives. Some of them, particularly those seen in other countries, are here to try one of our Earth restaurants. If they had any sense, they would be at Burger King, home of the Whopper. You can't get any better food than a delicious burger from Burger King. I have been eating them since I was a puppy, and I might add that Burger King had the good sense to get the rights to use children's meal toys from Marmaduke and Cats and Dogs II. Great burgers and good taste in toy products--what more can you ask for from a restaurant? If I happen to see an alien when I go to Burger King, I'll say hello from everyone. It is always a good idea to make a good impression on strangers.

Demon Flash Bandit (Interplanetary Outsourcing)