Bad Art and The Office Without Michael Scott

I have written several blogs about art. However, since whether art is "good or bad" is often a judgement on the part of the viewer, it makes this dogs realize that, other than the famous "dogs playing poker" paintings, most art done by the humans really isn't that great. This isn't completely the fault of the artist since the painting will only be as good as the subject, and, if the subject is human, there is no way they are going to look as good as dogs! This is why I am pleased to write about art that is not considered "good art" from the human point of view. You can find it at this link:
http://www.museumofbadart.org/
Obviously, you won't find the dog playing poker paintings in this museum because there is no doubt that they are good, but I personally found the 2 dogs in the one painting to be a good painting no matter what the silly humans say. Sure, maybe they could have looked even better done by another artist, but there is no way a dog can look bad.

The Office has always been one of my favorite shows. I even awarded myself a Dundee award when Mommy got one with a dvd she bought. Sadly, she put the Dundee award the and Dwight bobblehead where Angel Zoom Smokey and myself could not get to them. However, I just watched the new episode of the first season, and I don't think the show is going to make it without Steve Correll. The episode just was not funny. The only time I laughed was when Pam was watching the dog on the commercial. She was crying and said," he is only trying to protect his bone". Of course, leave it to a dog to save the day when the humans have messed up everything. I think Steve Correll was wise to get out when he did because it has become so unrealistic and not particularly funny that I doubt that my humans will purchase any seasons of it in the future--and they have all the seasons that are out. I noticed that B. J. Novak both wrote and produced the episode so I can only say that if the office wants to survive, they should put him in the column of losers, and use other writers and directors. Judging from the episode I watched, the show is not going to make it. I'm not even sure that I will watch more episodes, and that goes for my humans also because they didn't like it. Mommy only laughed once. To give Dwight the promotion of "office enforcer" was ridiculous. By the way, I don't think entertainment has to be completely true to real life, but when it gets to the point where it is totally unbelievable, that is not good. The whole "planking" thing would get most employees fired, and in this dog's opinion, wasn't even particularly funny. I can do funnier things with 2 paws tied behind my back. I think the new season of The Office is horrible, and I think it will be its last season if others think like Demon Flash Bandit!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Art and The Office)

Invisible Store

Every dog knows that humans do not possess the intelligence of the average dog. However, sometimes even us dogs are shocked at some of the things the humans do. Case in point, there is an art museum for invisible art. Yes, you read correctly---invisible art. I thought the whole purpose of art was to be able to see it, but for the first time in my life, this dog is wrong. In fact, one of the works of invisible art recently sold for $10,000. Of course, it was a human that bought it. You won't see a dog spending that kind of money on invisible art. I can understand a painting with the quality of "Dogs Playing Poker" going for a large price. However, with invisible art, you get a written description of the invisible painting. Since I am the kind of dog who has learned to go along with the humans--it is what keeps the treats and dingo bones coming, I now have opened the Demon Flash Bandit invisible store. I sell art, and all sorts of other things. Just write me and tell me what you want and I'll send you a written description of the item, and I will only charge you 10 times more than the actual item would cost. Maybe the humans are onto something with this idea. I can guarantee you that when I receive the money from the invisible items from my store, I will be buying actual dingo bones. This dog is not interested in invisible dingo bones. I might have to chew them with invisible teeth. If you want to read more about the invisible museum, here is the web address:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/praxis/museum-of-non-visible-art-praxis-and-james-franco
If you happen to get a chance to visit the museum, be sure and say hello to the invisible man. I'm sure he must be the curator of the museum. Who else would be so perfect for the job!
Demon Flash Bandit (Owner of Invisible Store)

Art Attack!

A 53 year old woman, Susan Burns, has been arrested at the Washington National Gallery for attacking the painting, "The Plumed Hat" done by Henri Matisse and valued at 2.5 million dollars. This is not her first art attack. In April, 2011, she attacked another painting at the same museum. This time it was a painting done by Paul Gauguin entitled, "Two Tahitian Women"valued at 80 million dollars. After that first attack, she was banned from visiting the museum so this time she is also arrested for unlawful entry. I know that many of my readers will think she was insane, and I agree with that possible assessment, but I think I know what drove her over the edge. In past blogs, I have written about the paintings "Dogs Playing Poker". I checked the Internet and discovered that the National Gallery has no paintings of that calibre in their museum. I can only imagine her outrage when she went to the museum expecting to see fine works of art probably assuming they had the Dogs Playing Poker only to find that there were none. In fact, I would think a picture of a hat would really make a person mad because all of us know that the book, "Alice in Wonderland" has a Mad Hatter (played by Johhny Depp in the recent movie) so why would an artist want to paint a picture of a hat? I don't even like hats. My humans have bought me doggy hats and I hate all of them. Sure, there is a photo of me wearing a Burger King crown (that is before I quit going to BK which you can read about in past blogs), but I also had a burger in my paws which made wearing the hat to make the humans happy okay. I think the only possible remedy for this situation so that it never happens again is for the National Gallery to buy a Dogs Playing Poker painting for their gallery. I can't stress this enough--I'm sure other humans are going to go nuts and attack the paintings if this is not done! If the Gallery can't afford such a fantastic painting, perhaps they could get a copy of the dogs on the movie, Eight Below, playing poker with the humans. I've heard that the U.S. government is having to watch their budget, but they need to get a dog playing poker painting of some kind. I, being a patriotic dog, would be happy to pose for a picture of Angel Zoom Smokey and myself playing poker if necessary.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Art)

Demon Flash Bandit: Artist!

I have a real treat for my readers today. I was fortunate enough to spend a bit of time in the Modern Art section of the Detroit Institute of Arts. This visit made me realize that I too can be an artist. I came home and immediately made a masterpiece with my own paws. I am calling it "What Dogs Mean to the Earth". I used the circle to represent the Earth. Sure, some of my dog pals told me that it is square, but I think the circle looks nicer and the humans seem to think it is circular and this painting is for them. The paw represents the paw prints that dogs leave behind on the planet. Whenever I see a dog paw print, I know that the world where that dog walked is a better place for having had a paw touch down there. The many colors represent the colors a dog adds to all the humans lives. Without us dogs, their world would be like a black and white colorless television. They would live sad, solitary existences with only other humans to keep them company, and that would be tragic!

To think that I might have never realized what artistic talent I possess had it not been for attending the art museum. I'll admit my painting is no "dogs playing poker", but that painting is not modern art. Modern art is art that often looks like it was done by someone in kindergarten, but it has a intellectual explanation that makes the artist look super intelligent which is why it is worth so much. Of course, if you buy a painting done by an intelligent artist, that makes the buyer look intelligent too. The wealthy humans like to buy paintings that may look like garbage, but that show they are super intelligent. You'd think they would just hang up their bank books since many of the humans seem to think that intelligence and money go together. I don't think they do because, from what I have read on the news, some of the humans running companies and making lots of money are complete idiots. Of course, I'm quite sure they are blissfully unaware of their stupidity.

I'm sure many of my readers are going to be asking me if they can buy a copy of my painting. At present, I have no plans to sell them. I have one original and I am giving that to my humans so they can hang it on the wall and make the house look better. It is my contribution to the betterment of mankind. However, if you want to copy my painting, just let me know and I'll give you permission since I like to make humans happy. Just let me know that you are enjoying it. My address is:

demonflashbandit@gmail.com I like to know that the humans enjoy my talent. Who knows? I might even get out some paints and make another masterpiece that I share with my readers as long as my readers enjoy my masterpiece.

Demon Flash Bandit (Artist)

Play Poker With Dogs!

In a past blog, I talked about the wonderful paintings of dogs playing poker. Sadly, most of us can't afford to own these original paintings due to their cost. I'm still trying to save enough money to buy one for myself. I know I could hang a reproduction, but I'm a dog who happens to be an art connoisseur, and as such, I want the real thing. This is why I have good news for my readers today. There is a game on the Internet that involves playing poker with 4 dogs. The dogs names are Rex, Puddles, Fido, and Spot. Yes, if you play this game, it is like being part of the painting, and what could be better than that? For those who are interested in playing this game, the site address is:
http://gamescene.com/Dogs_Playing_Poker.html
I don't know if playing it is free or not since I just discovered it today so be sure and check on that sort of thing if you decide to play. Since you are playing dogs, you have to remember that they are probably very good poker players and will probably win if you are a mere human.

I have a letter to share with my readers from one of my many celebrity friends. This time it is from the Trix Rabbit.
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
I want to let you know that I got some Trix cereal today. Do those children really think they can keep a rabbit from getting some delicious Trix cereal? As you know, dogs and rabbits are so much more intelligent than the humans. I wanted to ask you if there are any paintings of bunnies playing poker. I would like to hang something like that in my hutch.
Love, The Trix Rabbit
P.S. Trix cereal is delicious!
No, to my knowledge, there are no paintings of rabbits playing poker.

The rabbit and I have been pals for years, and it is always good to hear from him.
Governor Scott Walker, managed to get his legislation passed taking the bargaining rights away from the union that represents the public employees of Wisconsin. Police and firefighters are exempt, and continue to have bargaining rights. Also the legislature, the ones who overspent in the first place, aren't taking pay cuts. It is amazing how hypocritical some of the humans in power can be. One day, when they meet the "Person" who is really in charge, I'm glad I won't be in their booties.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Playing Poker)