Herd the Alligators to Gatorland

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how a dog should not have an alligator as a pet. Today, after reading my blog, the Internet news had some news about alligators. As usual, I, Demon Flash Bandit, have set the pace for the news the following day. I don't know what they would do without me to give them things to write about. Anyway, an alligator bit a person in a hotel room in Lousiana. In another news item, a lady in Florida came home to find an alligator in her house. The assumption is that it got in through the doggy door, and she thinks it wanted to eat her cats. Does the stupid alligator not realize that cats are not for alligators to eat? They are for dogs. I wouldn't eat a cat, but if anyone eats a cat, it should be a dog. Alligators can eat many other types of animals in the wild. They should leave the cats alone. Besides, they might not get filled up completely on cats and then they might go after the family dog. This is why I think all alligators should be in Gatorland in Orlando, Florida where they belong. Can't the states that have them hire some "gatorboys" (like cowboys for cows), who can herd all the alligators to Gatorland. At least there the humans can enjoy watching them, and they don't cause any trouble. If only dogs were running the world....humans never think of solutions that make sense. Here is the story of the alligators mentioned in the news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/alligator-visits-louisian_0_n_1420218.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl16%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D152115

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Would Hire "Gatorboys")

Alligators Are Not Good Pets!

I don't think I have to bother to write much about how humans make great pets for dogs. There are so many dogs who own humans; and for the most part, the humans do make delightful pets. You can imagine my surprise the other day when I had a dog tell me that he had a pet alligator. I think this is a silly pet for a dog to have. In fact, when a dog gets too close to an alligator, the dog might become the alligator's dinner. Sure, they do have nice teeth similar to us dogs, but that does not make for a good pet. I told my dog pal to stick with humans because alligators are just too dangerous. I hope he listens because I think alligators should stay in their home in Orlando, Florida-Gatorland.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alligators)

The Only Good Flea is a Toy Flea

Fleas are the most useless things on the planet. I don't like them. Other dogs don't like them, and most humans don't like them. This brings me to my subject for today. Since fleas are annoying, useless pests, why do the humans have flea markets? I can think of no good reason to buy or sell fleas. I know I wouldn't buy a flea, and I can't think of anyone in their right mind who would. To be fair, I'm not quite sure that the markets sell fleas, but what kind of marketing concept is it to name a market after such an annoying pest? I know you can sell some of the humans almost anything, but you would think that even the humans would hear the words, flea market, and think that perhaps there are better places in which to shop. I would like to be able to report that my humans have never been to a flea market, but I'm sure at some point in their lives they have been to one. I have even heard Mommy say that Orlando, Florida has flea markets that sell only new stuff, are indoors, have air conditioning, and are open throughout the week. I suppose that is impressive since most flea markets don't have quite that level of shopping comfort. If you ask my opinion, if you must buy a flea, Amazon has some stuffed sqeaky dog toy fleas which (at the moment) are on sale for a mere $7.94. I think the stuffed variety is the only kind of flea that anyone should even consider buying. I used to have one (it met a fate that any dog would be happy to see a flea meet), and it was a fun toy. Skip the flea market and order the flea from Amazon right from your computer. You'll be glad you did!

Demon Flash Bandit (Only Good Flea is Flea Dog Toy)

Disney Dog World--A Reality

On March 17, 2010, I wrote a blog about how Disney allows a mouse to run its parks and then does not allow dogs to enter the parks. I suggested they open a Disney Dog World for dogs. Imagine how thrilled I was when I saw on the Internet news today that the nice folks at Disney took my suggestion and are now opening a dog resort at Disney World. The name of the resort is Best Friends Pet Care Resort and it opens on August 27. It can accommodate 270 dogs and 30 cats (a good ratio if you ask this dog), and it will even allow some more unusual pets like hamsters. If they allow hamsters, I am hoping they will include rabbits. For VIP guests (or should it be VID-Very Important Dogs?), there are 4 VIP suites that offer television, raised bedding, and private yards. There are additional things that can be arranged from bedtime stories to cuddle sessions. If you ask this dog's opinion, they could skip the bathing and grooming salon. Most of us dogs do not want any part of that. The park features a canines only water park, and there is a private dog park where a dog can take his human or humans. If your family is deciding on a vacation, Disney World sounds like a winner to this dog because you can take the ENTIRE family--even us fur kids. The park for dogs sounds wonderful! There are all sorts of things your humans can do in addition to DisneyWorld--as if that isn't enough. Universal Studios has parks there. Gatorland, a park I wrote about in detail recently is in Orlando. Orlando also has many dinner theatres, and all sorts of shopping from upscale to air conditioned open every day flea markets. There are beaches, and the Kennedy Space Center is also nearby. Just writing about the place makes me ready to book a vacation there. Now dogs, all you have to do is persuade your human to take you to the new resort. I would suggest you get on the Internet, do some research, print up some photos of the new resort and cleverly conceal them in the magazines your humans like to read. It worked for Ralphy in the movie, A Christmas Story. Good luck and I hope you get your vacation in Orlando. Disney should have opened this resort decades ago.

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy About New Disney Resort)

Gatorland: A Wonderful Place to Visit

Before I start with today's blog entry, I would like to tell you that when I interviewed Phineas T. Pineapple yesterday, I discovered that he had exaggerated his beginnings. Pineapples do not grow on trees. However, I won't hold it against him because, from my research, the rest of his life checks out; and he was so young at the time that he may honestly not remember. I also suspect he listens to much to his uncle, Phillip T (The) Pineapple, and his uncle is a bit eccentric.

Today's blog is about a place my humans visited a few years back in Orlando, Florida--Gatorland. I doubt that dogs are allowed and at least I can understand that since we dogs have big teeth, and we might scare the gators. They might be offended if us dogs are walking around calling them snack food. Anyway, it is a very cool attraction, and you know it has to be to compete with DisneyWorld and Universal theme parks. I suspect my brothers liked it better-or at least just as much. Since I have credentials as a journalist, I was able to get a video inteview with one of the gators, Her name is Gertrude, and I want to share that interview with my readers.

Demon Flash Bandit: Gertrude, it is so nice to meet you. Do you like living at Gatorland?

Gertrude, As a matter of fact, I do.

Demon Flash Bandit: My personal preference is a cold climate like Alaska. Do you think you would like it there?

Gertrude: No, we gators like to live where it is warm, but I'm sure Alaska is a nice place for a Siberian husky like yourself.

Demon Flash Bandit: Tell me about your life as a young gator.

Gertrude: I was born in a swamp in Louisiana.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why did you come to Florida?

Gertrude: I came here when Disneyworld opened. I thought there would be work for an alligator there since the park is owned and run by a mouse.

Demon Flash Bandit:
How did that work out for you?

Gertrude: It didn't. It seems that humans have a lot power in running Disney's parks, and they said they had no need for an alligator. I thought they could at least hire me for photo ops with the tourists. Anyway, I went down the road and got a job here at Gatorland and I have been here ever since.

Demon Flash Bandit: Why do you think that you gators have such a bad reputation among some of the humans?

Gertrude: I think they are scared of us because they think they might become our dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, I guess that would cause that kind of reaction. Do you like humans?

Gertrude. Yes, they are particularly good with ketchup.

Demon Flash Bandit: It is time to go now. I do hope you continue to live a happy life there in Gatorland.
End of Interview

Note: I'm not so sure that this dog will visit there since Gertrude has several bottles of ketchup in her paws.

I was just joking about the ketchup. Gatorland is a safe place to visit because the gators can't really get to the humans so even if the gator has a bottle of ketchup when you are there, don't worry, the gator is only dreaming.....he or she can't reach you.

By the way, there is also a store at Gatorland where you can buy gator themed items, but just so you know, you cannot buy an actual gator there no matter how much you want one.

For those who would like further information about Gatorland, the web address is;
http://www.gatorland.com/
My humans really did enjoy this attraction, and they highly recommend it for those visiting Orlando.

Demon Flash Bandit (Vacation Ideas for Humans and Dogs)