Alligators Are Not Good Pets!

I don't think I have to bother to write much about how humans make great pets for dogs. There are so many dogs who own humans; and for the most part, the humans do make delightful pets. You can imagine my surprise the other day when I had a dog tell me that he had a pet alligator. I think this is a silly pet for a dog to have. In fact, when a dog gets too close to an alligator, the dog might become the alligator's dinner. Sure, they do have nice teeth similar to us dogs, but that does not make for a good pet. I told my dog pal to stick with humans because alligators are just too dangerous. I hope he listens because I think alligators should stay in their home in Orlando, Florida-Gatorland.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alligators)

Send Me Dingo Bones--Not X-Ray Spectacles

For many years, comic books have advertised exciting products in each issue. Sure, they are not designed to be sold to dogs since the humans know that dogs have far more sophisticated tastes, and would not be interested in buying the products that are offered. Sure, some of us dogs are doctors, but the x-ray spectacles offered in the comic books are not as good as an x-ray machine. Sure, human doctors like to use them, but they are humans and are easily fooled by inferior imitations. Just look at the whole pet field......humans sometimes have cats as pets, and cats are the inferior pet to us dogs!

I do like to be fair. Since I have never ordered any of the products, I thought it would only be right if I included some product reviews of the items from someone who have actually bought them. Here is the web address where you can find out more about the products.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/24/mail-order-mysteries-video_n_1029142.html


I do not recommend any of the products for dogs, but I think the humans would probably enjoy them. Humans are so much easier to entertain than dogs. I really don't want anything in the comic books, but a large order of dingo bones would be great!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Comic Book Products)

Real Life "Snakes on a Plane"

Today is a big news day for snakes. Indonesian airport authorities detained two men who were attempting to bring 40 pythons on board their flight to Dubai. X-rays showed that their bags were filled with sedated snakes. The men, 2 Kuwaitis, say they were planning to sell them to collectors in the United Arab Emirates. The men face up to 7 years in jail and a fine of $30,000. if they are found guilty of bringing wild animals on board. This dog is wondering what kind of people collect snakes. I know that is a collection that I would not want to have. I think they probably just watched the movie, Snakes on a Plane, one time too many. The Bronx Zoo in New York closed the reptile house because a poisonous adolescent cobra snake was missing. Zoo officials said that there is no danger to the public because the snake is in an area of the building not accessible to the public because snakes usually seek closed in areas and aren't comfy in open areas. I would question this statement because, if the snake is lost, then they don't really know where the snake is hiding out. Isn't that the definition of "lost"? My advice would be that if you are planning a trip to the Bronx Zoo, postpone that trip until the snake is found. I'm guessing teenage snakes are probably a lot more annoying that adult snakes. In fact, it would not surprise me if the snake's parents kicked it out of the reptile house. I know I hear lots of humans complaining about their teenage children. Perhaps the snake escaped so it could go to see a Whitesnake or Blacksnake concert. If so, then the snake will probably make it back home by morning. My human Daddy almost stepped on a cobra and there was another cobra nearby. He was almost bitten by that snake, and it was not one of his more pleasant memories. I think I would prefer to avoid that kind of memory myself so this dog will not be visiting the Bronx Zoo until the snake is safely back where it is supposed to be. In yet another news item involving snakes, animal control in Lewisville, Texas captured an 11 foot python. They won't be putting it up for adoption. It will be used as part of an educational program. I am still wondering why anyone would want a pet snake. I am not a fan of snakes, and there is no way I would have a pet snake. I don't know what the humans are thinking. They aren't cute or cuddly so they make horrible pets. Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Snakes)

I'm Not a Chia Dog

Today's topic is chia heads. There have been chia pets around for years. Humans buy them and plant seeds and grow "green plant hair" on the item. Sometimes they are heads, and sometimes they are animals. Today's topic is about the heads. You can buy George Washington, Barack Obama, Abraham Lincoln, or the Statue of Liberty as Chia Heads now. I wonder why no one thought of this idea sooner. I'm sure Washington would be pleased to know that he can now be seen with green hair. Actually, I'm joking. I think Washington would probably be highly upset if he saw green hair on his head. The founding fathers just don't impress me as the kind of men who would have green, pink, purple or blue hair. Maybe I'm wrong, and they sat around wishing their hair could be a cool color like that, but somehow I just don't think they did. I suspect they had more important things on their mind than hair color anyway. I can't even picture modern Barack Obama wanting green hair. Of course, I could get in touch with Bo, the first dog, and ask. I know I always feel better knowing that a dog is in the White House. I can't really see Lincoln wanting green hair either. I wonder--does he grow a green chia beard too? These are the kinds of thoughts that disturb my naps. Also, would the immigrants who came to the shores of New York Harbor feel the same way about being here if they had finally spotted the Statue of Liberty and found that she had green hair? Don't get me wrong--I don't mind chia pets, but I just wonder how I would feel if they came up with a Demon Flash Bandit chia pet that grows "green hair". I happen to look handsome with my black and white fur, and I think I'd prefer to keep the fur.

I have a wonderful announcement to share with my readers. I will soon be posting photos on my blog of my stunt dog double. Yes, folks, I am finally getting a stunt dog to do the things I hate doing--like trying on dog clothing. I am very excited about this new development, and I think my readers will enjoy seeing "me" or "Angel" doing things the humans could never get us to do in the past. Keep watching my blogs for the introduction of this important new dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Chia Dog)