Alexander the Great Dane

Yesterday's blog was about the dog in Texas who was shot and killed by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence case at the wrong address. Today I was lucky enough to get an interview with a dog from Texas named Alexander the Great Dane. My solution to the problem was to arm all the dogs in Texas. I was unaware that one of the dogs, Alex, my interviewee, is a dog who is already carrying a gun. He not only carries a gun, but he knows how to use it. He uses a stick to pull the trigger since he does not have a thumb, but he says so far he has never had to use his skills to shoot anyone. He just shoots when he does target practice. He says that the best part is that when he gets done with shooting, he has a stick to chew on which, as any dog will agree, is always a fun activity! Alex is quite the celebrity in Texas because Texans appreciate a dog who carries a gun. In fact, Alex says he knows a cat who also carries a gun, but I'm not discussing cat carrying guns in my blog so I won't bother with him. However, Alex is a bit worried about him because there are rumors that the cat is training an army of Persian cats and Alexander the Great is a bit concerned about the threat of cats trying to take over the state. For any dogs living in Texas, Alex is starting a school to train dogs to use guns so, if you are interested, be sure and contact Alex about attending or having him start a school in your area. I would act fast just in case he has to stop to deal with the army of Persian cats that might emerge. No self respecting dog can let a cat win in a fight!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alexander the Great Dane)

Stupid Policeman In Austin, Texas Kills dog at Wrong Address

Today I am writing about a subject that has made me very angry. In Austin, Texas, a dog was shot by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence call at the wrong address. The dog was minding his own business and when the policeman came up, the dog barked at him.....if anyone knows anything about dogs, that is what we do. In this case, the policeman shouldn't have been there in the first place...as I have pointed out, he was at the wrong address. I think this policeman should be fired and possibly have animal cruelty charges brought against him. Even if he knew nothing about dogs, and was afraid the dog was going to bite him; there are other ways to deal with it. He did not have to shoot and kill the dog! I have a solution to this problem that would work great in Texas. Since Texas has more guns that people, I say arm the dogs and teach them to shoot. The next time some idiot policeman comes to the wrong address and threatens to kill a dog; the dog can shoot first and ask questions later...just like the policeman did in this case. There have been way too many cases of policemen killing dogs in recent months, and I think this is ridiculous. If a policeman can't even deal with a dog, how are they supposed to deal with criminals whose behavior tends to be a lot worse than that of dogs? Most dogs don't attack unless they are protecting their home and loved ones. When did the police forces start hiring such idiots? I know some intelligent policemen, and these idiots make them all look bad which I think is wrong because humans and dogs should like the police and trust them---not wonder if they have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Here is a link to the article:


http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/17/11250094-officer-shoots-mans-dog-after-911-caller-gives-wrong-address?lite





Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Stupid Policeman in Texas)

I Want a Device that Makes Things Invisible!!!!!

A scientist in Texas is working on some new technology that can actually make items invisible. This has me so excited that I've been doing the happy dance around the house for the past hour! I'm hoping that this technology will be available soon so that I can take advantage of it. Obviously, it would have some military advantages, but I want it for a very personal reason. I happen to live in the same house with another Siberian Husky, Angel Zoom Smokey. I like Angel, and enjoy having her around--until I get something special. I keep telling her that we aren't supposed to share our treats, and that all treats are mine. This is because I am the older dog and I was here first. Being an obstinate creature who does not listen to my wisdom (I don't even think she reads my blog), she continues taking one of the treats when I have made it clear that both treats are for me! Last night each of us was handed a dingo bone. My human made a mistake and handed one to Angel when both are supposed to be handed to me. I tried to explain this to Angel Zoom Smokey, but as usual, she laid there chewing on MY dingo bone, and she ate the entire bone. I was so annoyed! However, when I got up this morning and checked over the news, I saw the article about the scientist in Texas who invented this new invisibility invention, and I knew that I need to order one as soon as it is available. The next time Angel gets my dingo bone, I will use the device to make it disappear. Then later, when she isn't around, I will make it reappear and eat it myself. In fact, anytime she annoys me, I can make her disappear. This has to be one of the greatest inventions of all time. I just hope I don't have to wait too long before it is on the market!

Demon Flash Bandit (Needs an Invisibility Device)

British Accents: Not Good For Telling Bad News

I was listening to a BBC broadcast about a terrible car crash pile-up. I'm very sorry about the tragedy, but I have decided that English broadcasters should not be allowed to report bad news because they just don't have the accent for it. The more I listened to the pleasant British accent, I realized that this is just not the accent for telling bad news. This might explain why news stories are scarier in the United States because the news is not reported with a British accent. In fact, if you want to report some really bad news, I think the best accent for that is the New York City one--the one that sounds like the person talking is going to kill someone before they are done talking. I think the honor of announcing executions should go to someone with a Texas accent because they are so gung ho with that idea. British accents in the news should be used when reporting news about the royal family, tea parties, fashion, and news about new inventions since the accent makes the person sound more intelligent. Even British dogs sound nicer than American dogs. We have our tough, American type barks from being brought up in a frontier environment. Now, I have to go and take my spot on the bed, and have some milkbones. Yes, no wonder our bark is scarier...we have such rough doggy lives. LOL

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Accents)

Fringe and Texas Firefighters

Mommy and myself have been watching the first season of the television show, Fringe, and we both approve ot it. However, there was one episode where the show had a giant rhino (common cold) virus or whatever...it was a disgusting worm looking creature starring in the episode. It was killing some of the humans. If they ever decide to make a giant flea or bird, then I won't be watching it anymore. There are limits to the horror I am willing to watch on television.

In the news, I read that Texas, which is having wild fires also has firefighters who are expected to buy much of their own stuff to fight the fire. I'm going to venture a guess as to how popular that job is going to be in the future. I can just see the ads....Wanted: person who is willing to risk your life in a fire....pay isn't enough and you have to buy much of your own equipment. I think the governor of Texas should be ashamed of himself. I bet he isn't taking any pay cuts. He needs his pay so he can run for President and do the same kinds of stupid things to the entire nation. Have you ever noticed that the politicians who want to cut everything the most never seem to want to cut their own salaries? I would think that the sensible place to cut costs would be at the top. I've said it many times, and I'll say it again...dogs should be running the world instead of the humans!

I do hope that all my readers have a nice weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (I've Got to Get Back to Watching Fringe)

Real Life "Snakes on a Plane"

Today is a big news day for snakes. Indonesian airport authorities detained two men who were attempting to bring 40 pythons on board their flight to Dubai. X-rays showed that their bags were filled with sedated snakes. The men, 2 Kuwaitis, say they were planning to sell them to collectors in the United Arab Emirates. The men face up to 7 years in jail and a fine of $30,000. if they are found guilty of bringing wild animals on board. This dog is wondering what kind of people collect snakes. I know that is a collection that I would not want to have. I think they probably just watched the movie, Snakes on a Plane, one time too many. The Bronx Zoo in New York closed the reptile house because a poisonous adolescent cobra snake was missing. Zoo officials said that there is no danger to the public because the snake is in an area of the building not accessible to the public because snakes usually seek closed in areas and aren't comfy in open areas. I would question this statement because, if the snake is lost, then they don't really know where the snake is hiding out. Isn't that the definition of "lost"? My advice would be that if you are planning a trip to the Bronx Zoo, postpone that trip until the snake is found. I'm guessing teenage snakes are probably a lot more annoying that adult snakes. In fact, it would not surprise me if the snake's parents kicked it out of the reptile house. I know I hear lots of humans complaining about their teenage children. Perhaps the snake escaped so it could go to see a Whitesnake or Blacksnake concert. If so, then the snake will probably make it back home by morning. My human Daddy almost stepped on a cobra and there was another cobra nearby. He was almost bitten by that snake, and it was not one of his more pleasant memories. I think I would prefer to avoid that kind of memory myself so this dog will not be visiting the Bronx Zoo until the snake is safely back where it is supposed to be. In yet another news item involving snakes, animal control in Lewisville, Texas captured an 11 foot python. They won't be putting it up for adoption. It will be used as part of an educational program. I am still wondering why anyone would want a pet snake. I am not a fan of snakes, and there is no way I would have a pet snake. I don't know what the humans are thinking. They aren't cute or cuddly so they make horrible pets. Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Snakes)

An Extraordinary Career

Today I have an interesting bit of history to share since this dog takes educating the public very seriously. Today's topic is about a prominent man in American history--so prominent that he merited a television show about his life. That man is David (Davy) Crockett. Davy was born in northeastern Tennessee on August 17, 1786. Davy set himself apart from other toddlers when he "killed him a bear when he was only 3". He did not win the heart of other bears, but none of the other bears would give him any trouble. Even today, Mother bears warn their cubs to watch out for Davy Crockett when they let the cubs out to play.

Davy went on to set the fashion world on fire by wearing the coonskin cap, which was actually a dead raccoon. Needless to say, this did not make him very popular with the raccoons either. At that time, much of the country was still forest and when you already have the bears and raccoons mad at you, it is best not to spend a lot of time in the forest if you value your life. This is when Davy got into politics. Most politicians are less scary than an angry bear--remember, I said most of them--not all of them. Some of them are even scarier than bears.

Anyway, he got into politics and decided to move to Texas, where he got involved in that whole Alamo fiasco, but news of his death, as Mark Twain, would say, were highly exaggerated. Some of the humans think he died in 1836, but you can't kill Davy that easily. He moved to Hollywood, California, where one of his latest projects was as one of the executive producers of the movie, Seven Pounds starring Will Smith. When asked about his life, Davy, or David Crockett, as he now likes to be called said, "I enjoyed making this film, and I hope to be showing my new line of coonskin caps in the fall". Davy, let's hope that your film career is as successful as your bear killing and political careers. You have this dog's support.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Legendary David (Davy) Crockett