Alexander the Great Dane

Yesterday's blog was about the dog in Texas who was shot and killed by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence case at the wrong address. Today I was lucky enough to get an interview with a dog from Texas named Alexander the Great Dane. My solution to the problem was to arm all the dogs in Texas. I was unaware that one of the dogs, Alex, my interviewee, is a dog who is already carrying a gun. He not only carries a gun, but he knows how to use it. He uses a stick to pull the trigger since he does not have a thumb, but he says so far he has never had to use his skills to shoot anyone. He just shoots when he does target practice. He says that the best part is that when he gets done with shooting, he has a stick to chew on which, as any dog will agree, is always a fun activity! Alex is quite the celebrity in Texas because Texans appreciate a dog who carries a gun. In fact, Alex says he knows a cat who also carries a gun, but I'm not discussing cat carrying guns in my blog so I won't bother with him. However, Alex is a bit worried about him because there are rumors that the cat is training an army of Persian cats and Alexander the Great is a bit concerned about the threat of cats trying to take over the state. For any dogs living in Texas, Alex is starting a school to train dogs to use guns so, if you are interested, be sure and contact Alex about attending or having him start a school in your area. I would act fast just in case he has to stop to deal with the army of Persian cats that might emerge. No self respecting dog can let a cat win in a fight!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Alexander the Great Dane)

Stupid Policeman In Austin, Texas Kills dog at Wrong Address

Today I am writing about a subject that has made me very angry. In Austin, Texas, a dog was shot by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence call at the wrong address. The dog was minding his own business and when the policeman came up, the dog barked at him.....if anyone knows anything about dogs, that is what we do. In this case, the policeman shouldn't have been there in the first place...as I have pointed out, he was at the wrong address. I think this policeman should be fired and possibly have animal cruelty charges brought against him. Even if he knew nothing about dogs, and was afraid the dog was going to bite him; there are other ways to deal with it. He did not have to shoot and kill the dog! I have a solution to this problem that would work great in Texas. Since Texas has more guns that people, I say arm the dogs and teach them to shoot. The next time some idiot policeman comes to the wrong address and threatens to kill a dog; the dog can shoot first and ask questions later...just like the policeman did in this case. There have been way too many cases of policemen killing dogs in recent months, and I think this is ridiculous. If a policeman can't even deal with a dog, how are they supposed to deal with criminals whose behavior tends to be a lot worse than that of dogs? Most dogs don't attack unless they are protecting their home and loved ones. When did the police forces start hiring such idiots? I know some intelligent policemen, and these idiots make them all look bad which I think is wrong because humans and dogs should like the police and trust them---not wonder if they have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Here is a link to the article:


http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/17/11250094-officer-shoots-mans-dog-after-911-caller-gives-wrong-address?lite





Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Stupid Policeman in Texas)

Problems Are Not Lucky!!!

Perhaps you, like I, have noticed that the world is full of problems. Those problems are very annoying to those who have to deal with them. I think that it is good to be optimistic., There are humans who, when faced with problems, say encouraging things like, a problem is an opportunity in disguise. While it is true that some people have made a fortune solving problems experienced by the majority of people, I have decided that attitude is very annoying for most people and dogs. Therefore, I have decided that those people need to be lined up and shot. Normally, I do not like guns nor do I think they solve many problems, but shooting those overly optimistic humans whose happy attitudes make us normal dogs want to strangle them is okay. I am looking for a gun that can be operated without a thumb so that a dog can shoot whatever human says anything that stupid. These are the kind of idiot humans who, when a dog at a shelter faces euthanasia because he doesn't have anyone to adopt him say things like, "he is in a better place". Sure, crossing the rainbow bridge does put a dog in a better place, but that does not mean that a young, healthy dog wants to go there immediately because the humans don't have enough sense to know they need a dog! By the way, I don't want to kill the humans...just wound them. It should make them very happy because the wound would constitute a problem which they can solve. They might even come up with a better bandage. What lucky humans-to be able to turn a problem into a solution....what a lucky opportunity!

Demon Flash Bandit (Problems Aren't Lucky)

Police Dogs--To Serve and Protect

As you already know, there are many dogs that have exciting careers in law enforcement. Some of them work for the police department, and some have private security gigs where they guard individual property. I have noticed that police dogs never carry guns. If you ask this dog, that is scary--trust the silly humans with a gun, but don't let the dog have one. The discrimination against dogs never ends, does it? However, I'm not here to make a political statement about police dogs not being allowed to carry guns. I am writing this to thank those wonderful brave dogs who have made it a career to go out and get the bad guys so that the rest of us dogs can happily take a nap or eat a pig's ear. Thanks for your efforts. I always rest easier knowing a dog is on the job.

Demon Flash Bandit (Thanking Police Dogs for Their Service)