I'm Not a Lottery Winner!

I have bad news today. I did not win the mega millions lottery yesterday. Did you know that dogs aren't allowed to buy tickets? However, I had the human buy a ticket for me so I had a ticket and I chose the numbers. Who would have thought I would not win? Does the lottery not realize how cute I would have looked picking up the giant check? Many of the humans would have loved that photo! Then lottery sales would increase because you would hear the humans saying, "if a dog can win, then you know I probably will win too". Actually, I was not surprised that I did not win since the chances of winning the lottery are virtually non-existent. It is just too bad that the "cute factor" does not figure in or us dogs would win every time we buy a ticket. For those of you who are wondering, I am still a happy dog. I had McDonalds burgers for dinner, and I have a nice soft bed to sleep and I enjoy hanging out with my humans. I really think those are the important things. Food, shelter, and love.....if you have those things, then I think you are already a winner!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Did Not Win the Lottery)

I Want to Be The First Dog Lottery Winner!

Since the mega millions lottery is at a record high level, this dog is planning to buy a ticket. After all, half a billion dollars will buy a lot of dingo bones even after taxes. I should check into that....does a dog have to pay taxes? It does not seem fair since we aren't allowed to be tax deductions for our humans, receive government aid or even collect social security-not that I have ever met a dog who is 65 in human years. Anyway, it would still be a lot of money, and since the "experts" say that if you should win, you should consult with an expert, I have already prepared just in case I do win. The expert is the best financial genius that I could ever find--myself. I have decided to take the money in one lump sum and, after buying a truck load of dingo bones, milkbones, and treats, and putting some money away for future treats, then I will use part of the money to invest in companies which I believe in and support. The companies are: dingo bones, milkbones, McDonalds, Wendy's, Arbys, etc. Most will be food related because both dogs and humans have to eat to survive so I think these companies make the most sensible investments. The rest I will donate to dogs in shelters who need to find homes. Now I must go and dream about all the dingo bones I am going to buy with the jackpot. I will also make news as the first dog to win! Then I will write a book about my experiences and the profits from it will go to the dogs in shelters. I won't need them anyway.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Plans to Buy a Ticket for the Lottery)

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

This movie takes place in North America of the distant future, where the country is now called Panem which is divided into a capitol and 12 districts. Every year 2 representatives from each district-one young male and one young female- are chosen by lottery to compete in the televised Hunger Games. The object of The Hunger Games is to kill all the competitors because there is only one victor who survives. Katniss, the young woman who is chosen from sector 12 is played by Jennifer Lawrence, and the young man, Peeta, was played by Josh Hutcherson. The movie is about the game. The acting was good, and I expect Lawrence will probably be featured in a lot of other movies thanks to her portrayal of Katniss in this movie. I think the movie ran a bit long since much of the game was a bit repetitive. I give this movie 4 paws up which is a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale. It was entertaining, but it would never make this dog want to read the book, and I'm not anxious to see a sequel. However, there are a lot worse movies out there so it is not a bad way to spend a couple of hours. Personally, I would prefer to watch a movie with dogs, and it is a shame that The Hunger Games didn't include dogs, but for humans, it was okay.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Hunger Games)

Checking the Financial Situation

I was wondering how the economy is doing so I decided to do some research and check some indexes for signs of how it is faring. First, I checked the Hair Index which covers how well beauty salons are doing. Then I checked the MUI (Men's Underwear Index) which Alan Greenspan favors, but I'm suspicious of that index because although men probably won't buy new underwear if money is tight; I suspect that most of the married men don't buy their own underwear anyway. I'm guessing their wives buy it for them. However, I don't think those are good economic indicators. I like to check the MI (Milkbone Index) because we dogs are so important to the humans that you know milkbone sales will show if there is really anything to worry about. If the humans cut back on the family dog, the economy is in trouble. Milkbones are made by DelMonte Foods, and I just checked over their financial report, and I think everything seems to be in order. Okay, I am assuming that everything is in order because it was a bunch of boring pages that a dog did not want to read. However, I like milkbone, and other dogs enjoy milkbones so I don't think it is out of the question to assume that the company that makes them is doing good. Therefore, according to the MI, things are okay. I'm glad I could put everyone's mind at ease over this subject.

Demon Flash Bandit (Milkbone Indicator)

Man Who Thinks Like A Dog!

I've written in the past about how us dogs know how to live. Most of us dogs don't work....we get to enjoy life. I've often wondered why the humans are so obsessed with work. In fact, if I were unfortunate enough to be a human, I think I would wear a dog suit. I'd try to get adopted by a human who would feed me so I could nap and avoid work, and I'm a "working breed". I'm sure the other breeds like to work even less than I do. However, today I saw this item on the Internet, and it did give me some hope for the humans. A human in Austria sawed off his foot-evidently to avoid going to work. Finally a human with some sense, I admire his dedication to getting out of work. I don't think I would be willing to cut off a paw to get out of work. Finally, a human who understands that work is not fun and should be avoided-even if you lose a paw. Here is the address for those who want to read more about this story.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/austrian-saws-off-foot_n_1379639.html?ref=weird-news&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl22%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D146754

Demon Flash Bandit (Work is Not Fun!)

Hank the Cat T-Shirts

Some of my readers may be wondering how the senate race is going for Hank the Cat. He now has election t-shirts that the humans can order and wear to show they are behind him. One of my doggy pals told me you have to get behind a cat otherwise they might scratch you with their claws, and it is easier to give them a good kick in the behind if you are behind them. Personally, I like cats, and have never needed to give one a kick in the behind. Here is the latest on Hank for those who might be interested in reading about his campaign or buying a t-shirt.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/25/hank-for-senate-t-shirts-virginia-cat_n_1378718.html#s812471&title=Hank_for_Senate
I want to remind my readers that I am having a contest to give away a t-shirt with my photo on it, and all you have to do is leave a comment on one of my blogs between March 15 and April 15. You can also send me a pawmail asking to be entered at http://www.dogster.com/ It is open to dogs (or humans) in the United States and Canada. However. Personally, I think my shirt looks a lot better than Hanks, but that is because I happen to be a handsome dog, and Hank is a cat...and he looks like a cat. Let's face it, dogs are better looking!

Demon Flash Bandit (Hank the Cat for Senate T-Shirt)

Hunting For Treats

Yesterday I decided to go hunting for my own food. I do this from time to time because the things I usually find around the house are far more delightful than the food the humans give me. Sure, yesterday I had ham, and it was delicious, but sometimes a dog gets a hankering for something sweet. When this happens, it is best for a dog to forage for his own treats. As usual, I found a delicious item that the humans would not have given me had I waited for them to give me a treat. It was a Boston Creme Roll from Little Debbie made by the McKee bakery. I got myself one of these delicious treats, and I smashed it with my paw so that it would open, and I ate the cake as it oozed out of the package. I know the humans would probably eat it without being so messy, but as a dog, I happen to enjoy a mess almost as much as I enjoyed the creme roll. For those dogs who haven't tried them, they are delicious. I have no idea why they are considered human treats instead of dog treats except that I think the humans try to hog the best treats for themselves. All dogs reading this remember, if you want a delicious treat, try what the humans eat. It is always delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bostom Creme Rolls are Good!)

Modern Farming

Is it time for another blog already? These blogs are really eating into a dog's nap time. Today I am going to cover a serious topic since a dog sometimes has to use a blog to educate the humans. Today I am going to discuss farming, which is a good profession to hold because I have yet to meet a dog who doesn't like to eat. However, I have no idea why the farmers are always planting vegetables, of which I (and most other dogs) are not overly fond. Why not plant things we like? For example, dogs enjoy meat such as: chicken, steak, and hamburgers. Since these items cost more, you would think that the humans, even with their limited ability to understand complicated concepts would realize that it is smarter to plant the more expensive items like meat. If they planted meat, then perhaps they could dig a drive thru in the garden so they could just drive up and get the meat they want instead of having to harvest the crops the way they do now. This method of harvesting would make farming much easier. In fact, this is one reason that virtual farming is so much more popular than actual farming....the Internet makes it easier. I hope farmers will eventually learn to do things the easy way as I have suggested. It is a shame they have to work so hard now, and all they get is stupid vegetables!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Farming)

Movie Review: The Artist

This is the movie review that everyone has been waiting for me to post--my review of The Artist! Yes, the movie that stars the dog, Uggy. The movie that won an Oscar because of Uggy....this is truly a revolutionary movie. It is revolutionary, not just because it starred a dog, but also because it was a silent movie filmed in black and white. In the future, when you hear of a movie being filmed in black and white that is silent, you will know that the studio has faith in the movie. This is obviously the wave of the future--not more stupid humans talking throughout the movie, except of course, for the two oldsters who did a running commentary throughout the movie in Brighton, Michigan where I saw the movie. Yes, 2 people whose commentary was very important because it only took them an hour to realize it was a silent movie. I suspect that these 2 couldn't resist commenting because of the excitement of seeing a new silent movie when they hadn't seen one since they were middle aged. I might add that the MJR Theatre in Brighton did not disappoint because the orchestra they hired to sit in the front of the theatre while the movie was playing was very cool, and the 6 people that were watching the movie were very impressed with the orchestra. To quote my human brother, Jeff, talkies are dead--shut uppys are the future. Being in his twenties, he was very impressed with the new technology which makes his stupid 3D television in his room look silly by comparison. Jeff did enjoy the movie, but I think it was because of the cool 3D effects in The Artist.

The Artist is a good movie, but it relies on an interesting story which is unusual for Hollywood. The "Artist", George Valentin, is a silent movie star who could not adjust to the talkies, which happened to several big silent movie stars in the past. There was tapdancing in the movie so you know it was a super cool movie--even though they did not have the good sense to have a cane to help with the dancing. There was a lot of cool music like Pennies From Heaven which made me want to get my ukelele out to play along. It is a shame that the humans who wrote that song didn't seem to realize that the song makes God seem cheap....why not dollars from heaven? Dollars also don't hurt when a couple of hundred fall on you. Besides, pennies cost more to mint so it would be cheaper to send down dollars. Evidently, in the early part of the 20th century, the theatres did not have to deal with as many smart alecs as there are now. Of course, back then a penny could also buy things. Now it won't even buy a piece of gum.

Uggy should have gotten top billing because he was the real star. In fact, if not for Uggy, the stupid human would have died before the movie was over. The dog had his work cut out for him watching out for Valentin. Jeff said the title of this movie in a redneck area is "Stupid French Guy Who Can't Speak American Good.

I actually wish I could have recorded the commentary of the 2 humans in Brighton for those who aren't up on their history. When the movie flashed the year of the stock market crash, they said it was the big stock market crash. If you saw this movie without their commentary, you might not have been able to surmise that it was the year of the big crash merely from the newspaper headlines, "stock market crashes". I feel so bad for the humans who don't have intellectuals in the audience to give them these bits of wisdom. I don't know how you could ever watch the movie and understand what is going on unless you have those bits of wisdom.

I give this movie a tail wag, 4 paws up, several kisses, a big hug, and a heartfelt thank you for Uggy from me. I liked this movie very much, and look forward to all the new silent movies that will be forthcoming from the studios. I am hoping for a sequel....maybe when the talkies go from black and white to color. This is a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale. This is truly a good movie, and I enjoyed it very much!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Artist)

Demon Flash Bandit: Future Boneionaire

I've got a bone to pick with the television show, American Diggers. I hope the bone still has a lot of meat on it, and I have hired a doggy attorney to make sure it does. Why have I hired a dog to represent me in court? Because I am suing the show. As a dog, I have been digging for treasure every place I go--my yard, the neighbor's yard, the beach, etc. Therefore, I know that they stole the idea for the show from me and I'm suing them for my intellectual property. I doubt that the humans would have even thought of digging for treasure if they had not seen a dog doing it. The humans aren't smart enough to think of it! I'm quite sure that no judge will rule in favor of the humans after my case is presented which means that I am going to be a boneionaire which is even better than being a billionaire since bones are useful, but bills are something no one really wants to receive. I've got to go now and prepare my paperwork for the lawyer. This will teach the humans to steal a dog's idea!

Demon Flash Bandit (Future Boneionaire)

Movie, Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Today I am going to share a movie review with my readers. The movie is The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. This movie stars Daniel Craig as a journalist named Mikael Blomkist and Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander, a young computer hacker. This movie starts out with an introduction involving a bird on fire which made me think it was going to be an outstanding movie since, as my regular readers are aware, I'm not a fan of birds. However, no birds were killed in the movie so that was disappointing. It was like they were just trying to get a dog's hopes up and not follow through-typical of the humans. However, I will get back to the actual movie. Mikael Blomkist is hired to find the killer of a girl who has been missing for 40 years. Along the way, he gets an assistant-Lisbeth Salander, the computer hacker. Together, they try to solve this 40 year old mystery. I can't tell you whether they were successful or not since it might spoil the movie. However, I can tell you that a cat was murdered of which I do not approve, but I'm sure that the cat wasn't really murdered in real life. There was a lot of violence and adult themes so I would not suggest this movie for those under 18--and it is rated R. I don't think the R stands for Rottweiler either! I give this movie a tail wag since it was interesting, but it is not a movie that would ever be a favorite of mine. Of course, not every movie can be Snow Dogs or Eight Below. On the humans movie rating scale, I would give it a 6 out of 10 because it was interesting and it did keep me awake until it was over. There are plenty of movies that I can sleep through so that is an accomplishment in itself. However, there were a lot better movies made last year so, unless you watch a lot of movies, this is one that can be skipped. By the way, in the beginnning Lisbeth had a very cool hairdo that made her look like a stegasaurus. I do applaud her taste in hair styles since most of the humans don't appreciate the stegasurus look.

Demon Flash BAndit (Movie Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo)

Dogs: Behind the Scenes in Government!

I read on the Internet today that about 2 dozen lawmakers bring their dogs with them to Congress. I find this very reassuring because when the humans are left to fend for themselves without dogs, they do a lot of stupid things. Knowing that dogs are there makes me feel better because I know the dogs won't let anything too stupid get past them. I was very pleased when shortly after Obama was elected President, he had the good sense to get a dog. I am sure that Bo Obama makes sure that President Obama makes the right decisions. It is a shame that more of the humans don't know how much these dogs make things better for the humans. I think it would make more sense if the humans just voted the dogs in directly, but at least the dogs are there taking care of things "behind the scenes". This is probably why Hank the Cat decided to run for the senate. Personally, I think dogs do a better job than cats, but I'm sure a cat would be much better than a human. All us dogs know how stupid the humans are. For those who want to read more about the dogs in congress, here is the link.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/power-players-abc-news/congress-going-dogs-101746818.html

Be sure and enter my contest to win a t-shirt with my photo on it! Enter by leaving a comment on my blog on the blogs dated March 15, 2012-April 15, 2012. You can also enter by giving me your name on my pawmail at http://www.dogster.com/. Good luck!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Behind the Scenes!)

My Doghouse!

I've discovered that dogs live in different doghouses so I thought it might be interesting for my readers if I talk about my doghouse. My doghouse has 3 bedrooms-one of which is a room with a computer where I write my blogs, 2 bathrooms which I think are totally unnecessary since I don't like baths. There is a kitchen where sometimes Mommy does some cooking, but Daddy told me to avoid that room as much as possible--Daddy was a master at avoiding work! There is another room which which has a television and a couch, but I'm not really sure if it has a purpose since the humans hardly ever spend any time in there. There is also an attached 2 sled garage and a basement underneath the house which the humans can't get me to enter. Angel Zoom Smokey likes it down there--she says it is cooler than the regular house. I do share my doghouse with Angel Zoom Smokey although I think she would be much happier in one of those plastic igloo type doghouses outside. There is a big deck which can also be called a porch, but my humans never seem to spend any time out there. I am such a nice dog that I do allow my humans to live in the doghouse with me. I don't think they appreciate it like they should since sometimes they act like it is their house and not mine, but I know better. I think that I am doing very well for a dog since many dogs have small houses in the yard and let the humans live in the big house. Those dogs need to have better trained humans. Their humans actually think they own the doghouse when clearly, they do not. I hope everyone is having a good week and don't forget my contest.....an X Large t-shirt with my photo on it. Enter from March 15 to April 15 by leaving a comment on one of the blogs dated during the time period or pawmail me on www.dogster.com to be entered!

Demon Flash Bandit (Doghouse Owner)

Buck the Dog, Star of Married With Children

My human has been watching the old television program, Married With Children. Few television shows have the intelligence to star a dog. Buck was quite a dog, and he made the show worth watching. I think it is a shame that, even though he was the star, he was not given top billing. It shows that Hollywood has a long way to go when dealing with dogs who star in their movies and television programs. I always love it when Buck is given a steak while Al, the human gets nothing. Personally, I think us dogs should eat first and give our leftovers to the humans. I have barked with other dogs, and all of them agree with me on this subject.

Don't forget my blog contest.....win an XLarge t-shirt with my photo on it. Just leave a comment on my blogs written between March 15 and April 15 to be entered. You can also send me a pawmail at www.dogster.com asking to be entered into the contest. Good luck!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discusssing Buck the Dog!)

Happy St. Patrick's Day and Blog Contest

Happy St. Patricks Day to all my readers and may you have all the bones your heart desires! It is a very warm day here where I live which is kind of unusual for my area so my humans are enjoying it. Personally, I would prefer it be cold.

For those of you who have seen the movie, Inception, this blog reminds me of that movie. I was taking a nap yesterday, and I dreamed that I was taking a nap. In my dream, I was also taking a nap. I might add that it was a really good nap, and I woke up feeling completely refreshed--like I had a really good nap--or naps if you count the naps I was dreaming about. It is so much better than dreaming about doing stuff and waking up tired after sleeping.

Don't forget my blog contest. A t-shirt with my photo on it has to be the coolest prize ever. Be sure and enter by leaving a comment on my blog entries from Mar. 15-April 15. You can also enter by sending me a pawmail with you name on www.dogster.com.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend and a good St. Patrick's Day!

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy St. Patrick's Day)

Leprechaun Trap

Since tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, I searched Youtube to find an interesting trap for leprechauns. I found a video which I am going to share with you now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGZCGZiZXEo&feature=related
It seems appropriate that St. Patrick's Day would be the perfect day for catching a leprechaun because there will be more Irish music playing on that day, and I'm sure that will make them start dancing around. When the wee folk are dancing, they are less likely to be watching out for traps. As you can see, the main attraction is Lucky Charms cereal which makes sense because I've been watching the children try to get the leprechaun for his Lucky Charms cereal since I was a puppy. I can't blame the leprechauns. Most of the cereal brands are delicious-as long as they aren't the "healthy for you" type. I wonder how the humans can eat some of the healthy stuff. Why don't they just eat the box since it tastes better? Anyway, good luck catching one and getting that pot of gold.

Before I end this blog, I want to remind all my readers about my blog contest. The prize is a men's XLarge t-shirt featuring my photo. You will be automatically entered if you leave a comment on the blog or you can pawmail me at http://www.dogster.com/ (this is for all my dog pals on dogster who read my diary entries--I want them to be included). Be sure and leave comments and paw mails. The shirt has my photo on it so I know everyone will want to win it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Video for Leprechaun Trap)

Today I have some exciting news for my readers. This photo above is a t-shirt that I am giving away to one of my lucky blog readers. I know how exciting this is for my readers--to have a chance to show that you know the famous blogger, Demon Flash Bandit by wearing my face on a shirt! Since I enjoy making my readers smile, this is what you can do in order to enter for a chance to win this wonderful t-shirt. Whenever you post a comment on this blog, you are automatically entered to win the shirt. Since I also write a diary on www.dogster.com and some of my readers also read my diary entries, those who want to post an entry on dogster can pawmail me their name and it will also be an entry. One lucky person will win the t-shirt on April 15 which gives everyone a month to enter. By the way, for those living in the United States, this is also something that might make income tax time a bit more enjoyable. This contest is open to citizens of the United States and Canada. Now for the boring details about the shirt. It is a men's XLarge. It is white, and it is Anvil brand. It says Demon Flash Bandit, Dog Blogger on it. I am speaking from a totally unbiased viewpoint, but I happen to think that this is the most exciting contest on the Internet.

Now it is time to talk about my blog topic for the day. The big sled dog race in Alaska, Iditarod has just occurred, and because I am a "sled dog", I find this race very exciting. I have never pulled a sled or taken part in such a contest, but a dog can dream. Today I was napping and I dreamed that I was running in the big Iditarod race. I took about 10 steps, my paws got cold, I decided I wanted to get a bite to eat so I jumped in the nearest car and drove to McDonalds where I ordered some burgers. Yes, it was a good dream. I have decided that racing in snow is not fun thanks to that dream. Besides a dog can get his paws dirty doing things like that.

Demon Flash Bandit (Now On A Shirt!)

Movie Review: John Carter

Today I am going to share a movie review of John Carter. John Carter is a Confederate veteran of the Civil War who ends up on the planet Mars which gives him some cool powers that he didn't have on Earth. Carter is initially fed up with war so, when a war is occurring on Mars, he wants no part of it. He meets a Princess of Mars. Of course, for those of you who enjoy action, there is plenty of that. However, the best part of the movie was a Martian creature that had to be the Martian equivilent of a dog. He made the movie worth watching as only a dog-or a dog substitute can. I think it is worth seeing the movie just to watch the Martian "dog". I give this movie 4 Martian dog paws up and a Martian dog tail wag which is an 8 out of 10 on the humans movie scale. Go to the theatre, grab yourself a box of milkbones from the concession stand, and enjoy a good movie--John Carter. Tell the theatre Demon Flash Bandit recommended the movie!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: John Carter)

United Airlines Bans Some Dog Breeds

United Airlines has a list of dog breeds that are no longer allowed to fly in their airplanes. It is sad to see this discrimination against dogs. When will it end? I can foresee that in the near future, since they are banning some dogs from flights, they will be firing flight attendents who are from those banned breeds. Let's take the case of Julie, a Pit Bull who has been a flight attendent for the past 8 years. Julie takes her job very seriously and is a credit to her wings, but you know that United will not want a Pit Bull to be a flight attendent if they won't let a Pit Bull be a passenger. When will it end? Will all of the banned breed dog pilots also be grounded. Will they allow the ground crew to continue if they are part of a banned breed of dog. I don't think this is fair, and I hope the government will get involved and let United know that they aren't allowed to discriminate against dogs like that. My guess is that United will change its mind when the first dog sues for discrimination, and I think the dog will have a good case. Let's hope it costs United a lot! I am going to include the address so you can read about it for yourself.

http://www.change.org/petitions/united-airlines-remove-breed-discrimination-from-pet-policy
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing United Airlines Dog Policy)

Libby Should Not Be Disqualified for Pooping in Agility

Today's blog topic is about a dog named Libby who was entered into the agility competition at Cruft 2012. Libby was doing very well at agility until nature called and she had to poop, which disqualified her from winning the competition. I personally do not think this is fair. She was running the agility course doing a great job, and from what I see on the video, she pooped nicely without taking a lot of extra time so she could get back to agility. I thought she did an outstanding job. She didn't spend a lot of time deciding where to go, etc.; but got right down to it and took care of business. I think the humans should be more understanding. I'm sure when the humans are running agility that sometimes they stop and poop in the middle of the course. If they don't, maybe they should. Perhaps that could explain why some of them are always in such bad moods. Besides, I thought the video was hilarious, and I know my humans did too because I heard them laughing when they watched it. If you ask me, I think Libby provided more entertainment by pooping than all the other dogs running agility. In fact, from the laughter around here, I think Libby should give up agility altogether and consider a career in comedy. Libby-the stand up dog comic--that would be far more unusual than running agility. A lot of dogs do that. I think Triumph the Insult Dog is the only dog who does stand up comedy. Here is the video so you can see it for yourself. Be prepared to be entertained!

http://manila-paper.net/dog-disqualified-after-pooping-at-crufts-2012-competition-video/28003

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Funny Dog)

Frosted Bones are Delicious!

Today is Angel Zoom Smokey's birthday which is nice for me since the humans give me the same gifts they give her so that both of us will be happy. I must admit that I think this shows intelligence on the part of my humans since many of the humans don't have that kind of dog sense. Angel and I have already received a big birthday frosted bone which was quite tasty. My brother had to be at work at the undogly hour of noon today so the humans woke us early. I don't think a dog should have to wake up before noon so this is why, as a dog, I think the humans must be stupid to work. If he didn't work, all of us could have slept later. I suspect that Angel and I are going to get some new dingo treats today in addition to the toys we will get later today. I might add that I endorse the new chewy bones that Dingo has brought to the market. I had some mega meat chewy bones a couple of days ago and they were delicious. I hope my readers are enjoying a nice weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Likes Frosted Bones)

Human Training Tip!

For the benefit of the puppies out there reading this who have not gotten your humans fully trained yet, I am going to write this blog to give you some tips. I know that, as a dog, we like to make our humans happy, but you have to be careful not to spoil them. This is one of the most important tips to remember in training the humans. A spoiled human could begin to think that they are in charge, and then they are even harder to train. For example, this morning, my human called me because she wanted me to come over so she could pet me. Sure, I find this kind of attention pleasant, but it would also involve me getting up and walking at least 5 steps. (I know this because I did the calculations while I was laying there resting.) Therefore, I did not go to her. I looked at her and let her know I appreciated her kind thoughts. However, if I had gotten up and went to her, she might have gotten the idea that she is in charge when it is me that runs this place! Eventually, I did allow her to pet me, but she had to come to me and then it was a reward for her being a good human. This is very important. Rewards should be given when the humans do something good. In this case, she walked the steps to me. Remember, you are a dog and as such, have important things to do with your time. Obviously, the humans aren't good at budgeting their time because many of them spend a lot of their time at work. From my observation, work is not fun, and most of the humans don't even like to go there. We dogs have more sense. Very few of us have to work. I suspect that is the reason dogs are happier than humans....we are smart enough to stay away from work!!! I will be offering more training hints in the future so keep reading my blog. Remember, the humans take a lot of time and patience to train, but a well trained human is a joy to have around the house.

Demon Flash Bandit (Human Trainer)

Demon Flash Bandit: Interior Decorator

I've had a busy day decorating the house so that it looks good. I know I've done a good job because Doghouse Beautiful magazine wants to feature my house on its next cover. I am so proud of myself. For those of you who think it is easy to keep a house looking good, you would be wrong. I had to get up early, go outside, and find some mud puddles. Once my paws were muddy, I was able to give the floors that "a dog lives here" look that is so popular among the humans. Next I knocked over the garbage and scattered it (lovingly) around the house. It is little touches like the scattered garbage that makes the humans feel at home in their houses. I then shredded some kleenex to give it that snowy effect that makes everyone feel like they are on the ski slope. I buried some milkbones in various spots because hunting for milkbone is always a fun activity. I had to go outside again to get more mud on my paws so that I could decorate the walls with paw prints--I don't know if you have heard, but paw prints are a big fashion must this season (and every season if you ask my opinion). I spent the entire day working on the house, but by the time I was done, it was a house that Martha Stewart herself would be proud to call her own. Be sure and pick up a copy of Doghouse Beautiful Magazine's April edition so that you can see for yourself what a wonderful decorator I am.

Demon Flash Bandit (Decorator Demon Flash Bandit)

Movie Review: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

I went to see the movie, Ghost Rider, Spirit of Vengeance, and I enjoyed it despite the lack of dogs in the movie. Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage), who is also the Ghost Rider, has to protect a young boy who is being hunted by "the devil". The movie is good, and if you liked the first movie, you should also like the sequel. I do think it could have been vastly improved if there had been the occasional dog walking across the screen, but obviously, the studio decided to risk it with only the humans. Yes, it is a daring idea, but the studios often try daring ideas--sometimes at their own peril. I would recommend this movie--I give it 4 paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human scale. Nicolas Cage put a lot into this performance....I think he gave it about 150%. This is not unusual for Cage because, when he takes on a role, he makes sure that he gives it his all.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance)

Birds: Evil Creatures!

I have written many blogs about our evil enemies, the birds. I've said many times that birds are trying to take over the planet, but it seems most of the humans still don't understand. Even cats have discovered how evil birds are and most of them try to eat every bird they see. Finally, I found a site on the Internet that, from what I understand, is written by a human who says that birds are evil. It is so good to find a human who finally understands what dogs like myself keep trying to tell them about birds: they are evil!!! Here is the site so that you can read the words of wisdom for yourself.
http://www.sciencebuzz.org/blog/evil-birds-attack-humans

Demon Flash Bandit (Update on Evil Birds)

Hank the Cat: Cat Who Cares or Typical Politician!

I am concerned about this Senate election that Hank the Cat has thrown his paw into. I don't mind a cat being in the Senate, but when the Canine pac ran a campaign ad asking important questions of Hank, Hank in typical human political fashion, did not answer the questions. Why would a candidate not answer the questions that show whether or not he is suited for the office unless he has something to hide, and I'm not just talking about hiding his stuffed mouse! Did Hank get high on catnip? Is he still taking catnip? What about his birth certificate. Personally, I have proof that I am a United States citizen--I was born in Michigan, and my records are recorded with the AKC. Hank should be able to show some verification of his birth. He says he was born to a single mother--I'm sorry that Hank had such a rough start in life, but that alone does not qualify him to be a good candidate. Where is the vet record? There are no military records, and you would think that if he saw a vet, there would at least be health records. Is Hank trying to hide something? Does he have a catnip addiction that makes him unsuitable for serving office? These are all questions that need to be answered yet his new ad does not answer any of these questions. All he does is talk about problems and say he has solutions. What are they? Does the cat have his tongue? Since he is a cat, does he have his own tongue? I hope Hank starts answering these important questions so that the people in Virginia will know whether or not to vote for him. I am giving you the web address so that you can see Hank the Cat's latest ad for yourself.
http://animaltracks.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/05/10583378-hank-cat-for-senate-responds-to-attack-ad?chromedomain=todayonthetrail

Demon Flash Bandit (Hank--Cat Who Cares or Typical Politician)

Hank the Cat Attack Ad from Canines!

Hank the Cat from Virginia who is running for the Senate seat now has a negative ad with a lot of good questions about his qualifications for the office. It was paid for by a Pac group. The Pac group was Canines for a Feline Free Tomorrow. Obviously, this group of dogs, as usual, is watching out for the humans. All us dogs know that cats are notoriously uncaring about their humans. The average cat does not even act excited when their human comes home after being gone. Dogs tend to let the humans know how much we love and miss them which is why we are man's best friend. Cats have never been called men's best friend. I am going to share the ad with my readers because it brings up things that Hank needs to address. Is Hank really the best choice for a Senate seat? Decide for yourself. Here is the address:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/02/hank-for-senate-attack-ad-cat-senate-virginia_n_1316775.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Dog's View of Hank the Cat)

Dog Television

I am pleased to announce that there is a television channel that is designed just for dogs. It is about time us dogs can sit around and watch television like the humans. I can just envision myself sitting on the couch with a box of milkbones watching my favorite shows. I might add that I am sure that our programming will be superior to the programming of the humans. Humans will watch anything. I know this because my humans were watching the new Beavis and Butthead show. Beavis and Butthead were funny, but there were a bunch of clips from Jersey Shore on there, and those people are idiots. I couldn't believe that the humans would bother to watch Jersey Shore, but they even buy their seasons on dvd. In fact, every show of which they showed clips (there were clips from a couple of other stupid reality shows), all of them were totally and completely uninteresting, and had stupid humans on them. No dog would ever allow himself or herself to be seen in such garbage. However, I digest (it is actually digress, but I like the word digest much better), dog television is a great idea and I'm amazed the humans thought of it--or did they? It sounds like maybe they are taking credit for the dog's idea. Here is the site so you can read more about it.
http://www.petplace.com/dog-videos.aspx?id=1081&utm_source=dogcrazynews001et&utm_medium=email&utm_content=petplace_article&utm_campaign=dailynewsletter
I personally am anxious to see this new channel, and I will let my readers know what I think about it after I watch it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Anxious To Watch Television)

Go Out to Eat and Buy a House

IKEA, the restaurant that allows you to buy furniture when you go out to eat has now made life even more convenient for its customers. Now you can buy a pre-fab home when you go out to eat. For a mere $85,000, you can buy the house to put the furniture they sell in. I think this has to be the ultimate in convenient shopping. So many stores don't have this kind of dedication to making their customers' lives easier. I only hope they can keep up with the orders. I know when I got out to dinner, I usually carry $85,000 with me because you never know when you are going to want to buy a house at the restaurant. Of course, I'm guessing they have payment plans, but I've actually never been to an Ikea store so I have no idea what they have. There is one near where Mommy used to live, and it is about an hour away, but Mommy has never bothered to go there. Mommy's taste in furniture tends to be more traditional than what Ikea carries. I have seen their sales ads, and their stuff is okay. For those who want to have dinner and get a house, be sure and go to the nearest Ikea. You will not be disappointed.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Ikea)

Town for Sale

My human has been gone today so my blog is being written later than usual. Today I have a site to share with my readers for those people who are looking for some space in which to live. Why buy a house when y0u can buy an entire town? If that is your kind of thinking, then go to this site:
http://realestate.aol.com/blog/2012/03/01/pray-mont-buy-the-whole-town-for-1-4-million/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl20%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D139959
You can own your own town in Montana, and run it the way you want to run it. If I were buying this town, I would make sure that a dog is mayor and the town would be the best run town in the United States except possibly for Rabbit Hash, Kentucky--a town already run by a dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Town for Sale)